Chapter Twenty-Six
We both looked at each other and smiled.
“I think we’ve just had a breakthrough, Ms. Windsor. Did you just take me in my trailer, up against the sofa, and call me yours?” This last part he whispered into my ear sending shivers up and down my body.
“Yes, Mr. Lowry. I did. But more importantly, do you have a problem with that?”
“Let’s see. In my trailer, nope. Against the wall, on the sofa, on the floor, again, nope. Calling me yours? Well,” he paused and I held my breath. It was the most out there I had ever put myself with him and I had no clue which way he would go from here. “It turns me on. A lot.”
He lifted me up and pulled out of me, but kept me trapped between him and the wall. “Say it again.”
I didn’t hesitate this time. “You’re mine.”
At this declaration, he grabbed my face and kissed me fiercely. “Shit, I have to be back on set. This isn’t over, babe. Except we’re finishing it at my place. Cabin. Tonight and for days after. I am kidnapping you and I’m not letting you go for a very, very long time. “
“Hmm, I better go home and pack then.”
He just smiled in answer and made us presentable and as we were exiting the trailer, he turned to me and said, “you’ll only need panties, and preferably, not even those. So, don’t bother heading home to pack.”
And with that, we walked back to the set, hand in hand. As we approached, we were met with quite a few speculative glances and seeming as we were outside on location, there were paparazzi. I heard the click of their cameras start as we made our way back and automatically ducked my head so they couldn’t see the blush that was creeping up my face. Anyone with half a brain could figure out what we had been up to.
As if sensing what I was feeling, Finn squeezed my hand and pulled me closer. We eventually made it back onto set just in time to run right into Serena.
We stopped in front of her and she had the nerve to smile up at Finn. “Hey,” she said, with a complete hilarious pouty face, “where were you? The crew was looking for you. I was getting kind of worried when we couldn’t find you. I mean, like, I told them there was no way you had just took off on us, right?” As she was speaking, she was moving closer and closer to Finn. It was like she couldn’t have cared less that he was currently holding my hand, or that we had the sex afterglow going on something fierce.
She grabbed his other hand and went to pull him towards the set. “Come on, Finn, you’re needed on set.” With this, she pointedly stared me down. It was do or die for me. Not gonna back down. Not after having a glimpse the past month of what this man could give me back.
I reached up with my free hand and wrapped it around his neck and pulled him towards me, while squeezing our joined hands. “Go ahead,” I sort of whispered into his ear, just loud enough for her to hear. “I’ll go home and pack the items we discussed and meet you at the cabin.” I finished the sentence with a slow, soft brush across his lips, another squeeze of his hand and my bestest brightest smile. He smiled back, knowing full well what I was up to but quite willing to play along as it clearly was getting him somewhere faster with me.
“I’ll see you soon.” He came in for a much harder kiss, squeezed my hand considerably harder and then came in for the almost whisper. “I’d rather you didn’t stop and pack any clothes. I think I made myself clear on that matter.” I smiled and nodded my assent and looked up to meet Serena square in the eyes. Oh it was on, girl. First point went to yours truly, but I could tell by the look in her eyes, this was far from over and she had a lot more tricks in her bag.
I turned to go and as if sensing I needed a little extra reassurance, Finn snaked an arm around my waist, pulled me back to him, kissed the back of my neck and copped a private feel. I squeaked and he let me go and I walked away knowing I just had scored a little half victory again.
I smiled a small secret smile and threw a little extra wiggle in my walk as I left to head to the cabin. But I had a few stops to make first. I was definitely going home to pack something. A girl didn’t spend a night with a guy at his secluded cabin without some sort of preparation. Then, I needed to find something to give Finn that told him how much he meant to me. He had told me he loved me. From day one. Well, as into romance as I was, and yes, writing about it made me a very well off woman, I had a hard time believing in the whole love at first sight thing. Still, I would give him the honour of those words and have faith he knew what he was talking about. I knew I was deeply in love with him and that scared the shit out of me.
What did you get the man, who also happened to be famous, hot, and wealthy, that said, I’m in love with you, but the memory of my deceased husband and my psycho guilt tripping mind won’t let me get there as easily as you?
I decided to drive home and ponder my dilemma and hope inspiration struck at some point. Unfortunately, all I got was frustration as I turned onto my street only to be met with a pile of pesky paparazzi. I slowed down to turn into my laneway and they started running at the car and taking pictures.
I would have to learn to deal with this if this was part of Finn’s life. I just didn’t have to like it. I was starting to understand why he became so uncomfortable when the paparazzi were around. It was half avoidance, half trying not to run over them.
I parked, grabbed my purse and ran inside. Why in the world they were even interested in me was beyond me. I quickly ran to my bedroom, grabbed my best undies and sexiest nighty, my toiletries and some scented candles. A scarf caught my eye as I was leaving my room and I make a snap decision to bring it along. I grabbed two for good measure and immediately started blushing even though no one was there to see me stuff the scarves in my bag. We’ll see if I get the nerve to bring these out, I thought to myself.
I grabbed a few other necessities and plopped myself down on the couch for a minute to figure out what I was going to pick up to surprise him, how I was going to back out of my driveway without running over a paparazzi and how did I let myself and my life to get to this point.
The last thought was going to mess with me and as if he knew where my brain was headed, my phone rang and of course, it was Finn.
“Babe, where you at?”
“Um, location wise or mentally?”
“Well, I can tell you aren’t at the cabin, ‘cause I’m standing here, inside of it and you’re not in any of the two rooms, so unless you are out wandering in the woods, which I believe I expressly told you not to do without me, you’re not here. Which leads me back to my initial question, where are you at?”
“Ok, I can tell you are somewhat angry with me, but I didn’t know you would be so quick. I am at my house, packing a bag filled with things I think you will appreciate. I was just taking a moment to make sure I have everything and to figure out how to back out of my driveway without running over the paparazzi that are waiting for you to come over.”
“Are you kidding me? The paparazzi are there? Babe, I’m on my way. I’ll take care of them.”
“Finn, don’t. That’s not going to end well for anyone and I have to learn to deal with this on my own, right?” I plowed on hoping like hell he wasn’t ATV’ing it over here while we were speaking. “Look, I am walking out the door now, so I’ll be long gone before you get here. I have one quick stop to make along the way and I’ll be there.”
“What? George, what are you stopping for now?”
“It’s a surprise, so you’ll just have to wait and see. Now, let me go so I can get going. Please darling?” I had never, in my entire life used a term of endearment towards anyone. I thought I might barf due to the cheese, but it actually felt good.
I heard him sigh. “Ok, I’m gonna hang up now, but you’re on a timer. If I don’t hear from you or see you in the flesh,” at this his voice lowered to the sexiest timbre I had heard it yet, “in one hour, I’m coming to find you and the first stop I make is to the hospital, I’m gonna be so worried, so keep that in mind please.”
He was worried about me. I didn’t know how to take it but it felt pretty good.
“Ok. I’ll see you as soon as I can.” I hung up and made a run for it. I figured out what I was going to get him as I was hanging up. I grabbed my laptop, shoved it in my purse and ran out the front to greet the paps. They perked up as I got in my car and I gave up worrying about not hitting them. I had to be to the cabin in an hour or else he would search high and low for me. I think he had some serious issues to work through there, but I still needed to hurry. And I still had to drive out of my way to get what I needed for him.
I reversed a little faster than I normally would, nearly took out three of them and put it in gear and took off.
Along the way, I dialed my friend, Steve. He hooked me up with literary stuff whenever I needed it and this was a big ask, but I knew he had what I needed. He picked up, we met each other’s demands, and I was on my way to meet him.
Twenty minutes into my ride, I pulled off the road into a strip mall and met Steve. We exchanged goods and I was on my way again in less than five minutes. I was giddy with excitement. I got him a killer gift, was going to make it in time, and was driving to have wild crazy tied to the bed sex with Finn Lowry. This smile was not going to fade today. I was not getting in my own way this time. I was going to relax and enjoy whatever he brought my way. Guilt be gone, it was time to let happiness in. The only thing left was to complete my rough draft for my editor and that was on my agenda for the week too, so all was good with the world.
My phone started ringing about five minutes later. At first, I thought I had run out of time, but my screen on the car alerted me to the fact that it was Sam calling. Shit, I had forgotten to call her back. Like about five days ago forgotten. I hit accept and waited for it. I knew I wouldn’t be waiting long. One second after I picked up the screaming began.
“GEORGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. What the hell! You are so dead. You are so lucky I was working night shoots, or you would seriously not be able to speak right now. I cannot believe you would text that shit and then shut down from your two very best friends. That is so not cool, girl! Ugh. Ok, that’s done, now tell me everything.”
I had about fifteen minutes to get there, so I started at the top and told her everything. With the exception of Finn’s bedroom moves. Those were mine to have. I did tell her I never had better, but that’s all she got.
We agreed to meet for dinner with Frankie soon and I hung up as I approached the gates to his house as I had to use my phone to get in. Finn had the coolest high tech security system going. I had an app on my phone that would open the gate and most every other locked up place on his property. So, I buzzed in and then started to get really, really nervous. And excited. And nervous again.
I drove up the drive and parked and saw him waiting there. When I got out of the car, he was looking at his phone. He held it up for me to see he had it on countdown mode and I was there in the nick of time. Two minutes left and he was going to make good on his promise and hunt me down. “Sorry I made it here in time and spoiled your fun.” I laughed at him as I got my bag out of the bag.
However, looking at him, he didn’t look happy. He actually looked pissed. Arms crossed, feet apart, scowl on his gorgeous face.
“What? I made it here in time? You can’t be mad at me.” I helpfully pointed out.
“You didn’t play by the rules, George.”
“By the rules? Come on, for real? By your rules you mean?” I was beginning to get really tired of this side of him. He had only recently let this side of him out and the overbearing, protective side wasn’t always my favourite.
“Yeah, my rules, babe.” And with that statement, he turned on his heel and got on the ATV and pointedly looked at me to get the hell on.
We had a stare down and I lost as usual. I reluctantly got on back, slung my backpack on, wrapped my arms around his fabulous hard body and off we went. It was a long, bumpy, quiet ride to the cabin. It looked like I was in some kind of shit with him, but I didn’t care. He wasn’t going to boss me around like some sort of groupie. I was itching for a fight and he must have been too. When we swung up to the cabin, he practically threw himself off and huffed his way inside. I followed at a much slower pace, not really anxious to hear the rest of what he had to say.
When I got inside, he had already taken off his coat and boots and was feeding the fire. Oh shit, feeding the fire meant he had been there for a while. Yes, he was pissed. Finn loved punctuality. Where he was type A, I would be classified as type Z. Take the day at my own pace, which was usually fairly slow, and see what happens. Finn went to bed, planning what he would be doing the next day. What he would wear, what he would eat, where he was working, call times, all sorts of stuff.
I set my bag down, took off my own coat and boots and prepared for battle. “Ok, so your rules? Since when was this relationship a dictatorship?”
“It’s not a dictatorship, George. Come on, you know that.”
“Right, then why does it feel like it is right now? I’m not sure why you’re mad at me, but spouting off some bullshit about your rules,” I used the classic air quotes around those last two words, “isn’t making me feel all warm and fuzzy right now.”
“George, is it too much to ask you just to listen to me for once?”
My mouth hung open. This night had taken so many crazy curves I couldn’t see straight. I wanted to run. That’s what I did when I faced confrontation. I ran. So, I turned on my heel and left.
I started walking in no particular direction, just away from him. Before I said something that was going to make things much worse which I was also known to do a lot.
I was about two or three minutes into my stalking when a strong arm grabbed me by the bicep and tugged me backwards. “Let go of me.”
“Not a chance,” he replied.
“I need some space. Please take your hand off me.”
“No, George. I am not taking my hand off you and I am not going to give you any space and you’re going to listen to what I have to say and then you can decide if you want to stay. But I’m warning you, this is it. Walk out and I’m not waiting around for you anymore. I’m trying my best to be with you but you’re making it damn hard to get in.”
I started shaking. What had started out as fury was turning into fear. I had done it. I had successfully pushed someone far enough that they were on the edge of being through. My subconscious plan apparently was working. Only I didn’t agree with my subconscious. I wanted this man and I wanted him in my life. I guess it just took him not wanting me to get me all the way there.
He let go of my arm only to walk away and then take a sharp turn and come back again. All the while, running his hand through his hair. His tell. It was the action that let me know he was on the edge for real.
“George, all that time ago, when we bumped heads, I knew. I knew you were someone different. Special. And you shunned me then. Then you let me in and I knew with even more certainty, you were amazing. You’re smart, beautiful, funny and you are with me, Finn Lowry, not The Finn Lowry. Then you let me in and I could add passionate to that list. I was falling so much in love with you, baby. Then you got shot and that was on me.”
He held up a hand as my protest started to come out.
“No, it was and let’s not pretend that if you hadn’t met me, one of my fans wouldn’t have tried to take you out. And they nearly succeeded. I watched you fucking fight for your life, George. And that was my fault.” He began to pace and punch the air with his finger. “My God damned fault. And I couldn’t do shit about it.”
My breath hitched. The fog cleared. I was able to see what he had really meant when he ordered me to follow his rules. He was alone in the world and it looked like he really didn’t have that whole issue worked through yet. I took one hesitant step forward.
He kept going on with his monologue. He turned to look at me. “Then, you lived. You lived baby and you let me in. And it was work, but I got in there and it was amazing. And I see you struggling, I feel you struggle, but you stay with me.” He took a step towards me and I towards him. And then he began to move the foundation of what was left of my walls.
He closed the distance between us and took my hands in his. “Then today happens. You had a shit time on set and I see a hint of what our lives are going to look like. Jealous bitches trying to get under your skin, and paparazzi stalking you to get a shot of us together to sell more papers. Fans who think they own me and try to off you. You could have been hurt, again, on my watch.
I tried to say something, but he waved me off. “George, I have a responsibility to keep you safe. I owe it to your guy, Connor. I figure he left you here for me. A gift and I haven’t been taking very good care of that gift. I owe him big time. And when I got here and you weren’t here, I assumed the worst and panicked. Something had happened to you. When I called and you said you had been held up by the paparazzi, I lost it. I screwed up again. Either I protect you and keep you safe or I have to let you go and I’m not interested in letting you go. So, yeah, I’m feeling like a dictator but please let me have this. I need to feel somewhat in control of your safety and your happiness.”
And then the last words obliterated that wall. He leaned down and got real close to my face. He put his hands on each side of my jaw and whispered, “He died so you can live, baby. I gotta make sure you live so he can rest in peace.” I had tears running down my face and my nose was running but I didn’t care. I grabbed him, pulled him in and kissed him for all I was worth.
“I love you Finn. God, I so love you. Bossy dictator that you are.”
He scooped me up and cradled me into his chest as he strode back to the cabin. He practically threw me on the bed and began immediately stripping off his shirt. I still had snot and tears all over so I twisted around to reach the tissues and he stopped me. He rolled me back to my back and slowly pulled a few tissues out of the box. He so tenderly and gently dabbed at my face and cleaned me up with one hand, while the other hand was busy undoing my pants and exploring my new panties.
When he was finished cleaning me up, he stopped his explorations and hovered on his elbows overtop of me. His hands threaded through my hair and I could feel his breath on my face. “Look at me Georgina Windsor. Please?”
I gave him my eyes and hoped that they mirrored what I saw in his. Heat, intensity, warmth and love. I loved this man with all that I was and I was just going to have to gently move aside my feelings of guilt and comparison over Connor. There was more than enough room in there for both of them, and then some.
“Thank-you,” he said.
“For what?”
“For giving me that.”