MY PHONE VIBRATES WITH AN incoming text. When I pick it up and see Paxton’s name, I feel many things at once, but the main emotion is anger, especially because I haven’t changed my number yet. If I was smart I’d have just blocked him. Being separated from my situation and looking at it objectively puts it into a whole new light. And instead of being embarrassed or ashamed at what I allowed him to do, I’m hurt and I’m mad. I thought he was a friend. Someone who was just there to help me and be a mentor. And he wanted more. He kept pushing for more after I told him I couldn’t. He’s nothing but a big jerk.
Paxton: I’m in Chicago for a few days. Thought we could meet for a drink?
Why did I tell him where I’m originally from? I glance up the stairs and am thankful I still hear the pipes running from Jay’s shower.
Me: No. Not a good idea.
He replies immediately.
Paxton: I think it is.
I can feel my eyes bulge from his response, but I see him typing again, so I wait.
Paxton: It’s business related.
Me: I don’t work for you anymore, and I told you last time I didn’t want to see you again.
Paxton: You wouldn’t be working for me.
The sigh that leaves me makes me dizzy. I know I should just stop replying, but the bitchy side of me, the one that’s been lost for years, is back. And I want to get the last word in.
Me: Said everything I needed to when I gave my notice.
Paxton: You didn’t give notice, you quit. I would surprise you, but Doris Housing asked about you.
My heart sinks and gets an electric jolt at the same time. Doris Housing? My freaking idol.
Me: Why?
Paxton: Someone who was at Savory for the opening recommended you.
Me: Omg
Paxton: Savored. 7pm.
Me: Fine.
“You hungry, sweet pea?” Jay’s voice booms as he walks down the stairs, and I practically drop to my knees at his bare chest and low-riding jeans.
“I am now.”
He stops at the fridge, and with his hand on the handle, tosses his head back and laughs. I think this is the first time I’ve seen him laugh this hard in the weeks I’ve been back. He’s so damn handsome. I’d even venture to say he’s beautiful.
“Much as I’d love to lay you out and devour you again, I need to feed you. You’ve barely eaten anything since we’ve been back.”
“I have too,” I insist. “I’m just not very hungry.”
“Gotta eat, babe.” He sticks his head in the fridge then a moment later pulls it out. “Fuck it, we’re going out.”
I look down at my outfit. “I need to change first.”
“No, you don’t. You’re beautiful no matter what you wear.” He closes the door and grabs his keys then winks. “Or what you don’t wear.”
After Jay takes me for a quick brunch, we go to the grocery store to stock up on some food. I’m fascinated at how much has changed in the city. Restaurants and stores closed. New ones opened. A bunch of circular intersections that are confusing as hell.
We get back, and I do something I am not proud of and that I know is a mistake. I lie to Jay and tell him I’m meeting Allie for a quick drink to catch up.
It’s a lie, and it’s wrong. I know it is. But I need to do this. For the me who I really am that Paxton didn’t get to meet. He needs to be introduced to the real Olive. Not the one who was vulnerable and scared and confused. Not the one who he clearly took advantage of when she was drunk and emotional.
I walk into the restaurant and spot him right away in the corner. “Paxton.”
He stands from the table and pulls me in for a hug, his lips lingering on my cheek. I gently push him away, not wanting to cause a scene, and sit across from him, discretely wiping my face.
“You look beautiful, Katy. I like the hair.”
“My name isn’t Katy. It’s Olive. I told you that.”
He leans forward and lowers his voice. “You’ll always be Katy to me.” When a waiter comes up to the table, Paxton sits back.
“Something to drink, miss?”
“No thank you.” I point at the glass on the table. “Water’s fine. I won’t be here long anyway.”
“Sir? Another Macallan?”
“No. Leave us be, please.”
He nods. “Yes, sir.”
“Do you have any more information for me from Doris Housing?”
“You don’t need Doris. I can give you whatever you need, Katy.” He looks at my hand, and his face hardens. “You’re engaged?”
This man, who was so sweet to me in the beginning, who has seemed so sincere until this point, is giving me a chill. It’s the same chill I felt roll through my body that night when he walked me to my room. I shouldn’t have let him come in, but I thought he was genuinely concerned since I had drunk so much and could barely stand. Now I realize there was nothing but an ulterior motive. “Yes, we’re getting married.”
“That was fast.”
“It wasn’t. We were together for two years before I was put into the program.”
“So you were apart for more time than you were together?”
I point my finger at him. “Don’t you dare talk about my relationship when you don’t know anything about who I really am or what Jay and I have been through.” I’m done with this. I stand. “I only came here to tell you goodbye, Paxton. Please don’t call me again.”
“Sit down, Katy.”
“My name isn’t Katy!” I shout, uncaring who hears. Turning my back to him, I walk out of the restaurant and down the street to where my car is parked in the garage.
“Wait!” Paxton shouts.
I wave him off without even turning around. Fuck him.
He catches up to me and grabs my arm. “Wait.”
I yank it out of his grip. “Don’t touch me.”
“You’re a confusing woman.”
“And you’re an asshole.” I point at him. “I thought you cared, Paxton. I really did. But the only thing you wanted was something you can’t have. You can’t have me.” My finger now turns to myself. “I was never available to you. I was drunk and vulnerable. I said stop, and you didn’t. I told you that. Just like then, you seem to have a hard time listening. Goodbye.”
He narrows his eyes, and before I can move away, he grabs my arm again, squeezing my bicep. “I was nothing but nice to you. I gave you a job. Your body was screaming yes, Katy, and I made you come within minutes. Don’t act like you didn’t want it. And I offered you another opportunity to make a name for yourself, but you just left me like none of it mattered.”
“I’ve apologized for my sudden departure already.” I grit my teeth together. “The other stuff; it didn’t matter.”
“If you let me walk away, it’ll be a mistake. I could do things for your career that you will never be able to do on your own.”
“I never asked anything from you, and I never will. I truly thought you were a nice guy, but you’ve just proven me wrong. Again.” I try to pull my arm away, but his fingers bite into my skin.
He shoves me back, and I reach out and feel the scrape of the building on my hand. “I am a nice guy, but when some bitch treats me like I’m a rug, I tend to get a little upset. I was patient with you; I knew you were skittish, and I waited for you to come around. But then you just threw me to the side and walked all over me.”
“I didn’t walk all over you, Paxton.”
“Last chance, Katy. Come back in there with me and have the career of your dreams or walk away and—”
“Have the man of my dreams. Goodbye, Paxton.” I turn and walk as fast as I can to the parking garage and jog up the stairs. As soon as I’m in my car, I lock the doors and start the engine. Jay arranged for my car to be delivered from Washington because he didn’t want us driving back separately. Peeling out, I barely even look to see if there’s traffic because I’m only focused on getting away from him.
“What a dick!” I yell in the empty cab. God, I can’t believe I thought he was nice. His reputation online and how the tabloids portrayed it was that he was a jerk and a womanizer, but he never treated me that way. Granted, ninety percent of our relationship was professional, so I have that defense.
I don’t know why he was trying to butter me up. Women throw themselves at him all the time, so why wouldn’t he just be with one of them? I don’t get it. He’s rich and famous. Why would he care about some little old wannabe wedding planner like me?
Ugh.
At the next stoplight, I dial Adrian and put him on Bluetooth. “Hey, Olive.”
“Is Paxton a dick in disguise of a nice guy, or the other way around?”
“He’s a dick disguised as a nice guy… although, I don’t think he’s very good at hiding it.”
“He was nice to me. I didn’t think he was hiding the fact that he was an asshole!” I practically scream. “Why do you work for him still?”
“I made the mistake of signing a contract, so I’m stuck with him for another year. My paychecks are fantastic, and so is the experience for my resume, but the best part is that Paxton is usually never there. He only started showing up more after he hired you, but this is all stuff you already knew. Why?”
“Because he just lied to me about Doris Housing asking about me, then when I left the restaurant, he grabbed me and pushed me into the wall.”
The line becomes silent. “What?”
I tell him everything that just happened in more detail. “He didn’t really hurt me, but he was such an asshole. God, I’m stupid. I thought he was nice. Thought the hotel was just sincerely a mistake on both of our parts.”
“Hate to break it to you, but he’s always been an asshole. I don’t know what you saw in him, but I never thought he’d put his hands on you like that.”
“I didn’t see anything in him. He was nice. He gave me a job and saw what I was passionate about and let me plan his restaurant opening. He was nice! And I was getting shown affection for the first time in over two years, and I… God, I feel like I must have had Stockholm syndrome or something.”
He sighs loudly and the sound echoes. “You did not. I thought he was nice at first, too, to be honest. But after you work with him for a while, he can’t help but show the asshole in him. And I thought maybe he’d had feelings for you that made him not such a jerk because he was nicer around you. I’m sorry you had to deal with him.”
“It’s not your fault.” I feel so stupid. Used. Manipulated.
“I guess his ego was crushed when you ditched him.”
I’m the one sighing now. “I guess.”
“Are you going to tell Jay?”
“That I lied to him about who I was meeting? Then tell him Paxton put his hands on me. Um, no.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see. “Jay’ll kill him.”
He huffs in agreement. “Why’d you lie to him about who you were having dinner with?”
“Because I’m an idiot! I thought this was established. He told me freaking Doris Housing asked about me! I had a gut feeling he was lying, but I had to see. And then I needed to tell him to fuck off face to face. I knew Jay wouldn’t let me go alone, and if he came, I was worried he would end up pounding Paxton’s face in. Which wouldn’t be such a bad thing right now,” I add, mumbling to myself.
“What a jerk. I’m sorry, Olive. You don’t deserve for him to treat you that way.”
“I kind of feel like I lied to Paxton and then used him only to leave him hanging. It wasn’t fair of me to expect him to be all peachy keen toward me.”
“That’s bull. He was the one who contacted you.”
“True.”
“I’m home now.” I sigh, trying to remember exactly what I told Jay before so I don’t get caught lying.
He laughs. “And why is that a bad thing?”
God, what am I doing? I never lie to Jay. “I’ll call you soon.”
“You need to tell him.”
“Why?”
“A man like Jay. If someone hurts you, trust me, he’ll want to know.”
“He didn’t hurt me. Just grabbed me and barely pushed me.”
“Did you tell him to let you go?”
If he was here, he’d see the way I widen my eyes. “Of course, I did.”
“Did he listen?”
I don’t answer, and that’s the ammunition he needs.
Adrian curses. “Stop making it seem like it was nothing. He did the same thing to you in the hotel room that night. You told me you told him to stop, and he didn’t.”
“I didn’t push him away like I should have.”
“No. If you said stop, he should have stopped. That’s the end of it. Don’t you dare make it seem like it was your fault. I wish I would have known before that that was what really happened. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me until the last night you were here.”
I desperately need a subject change. “Whatever. It’s over, and I’m never seeing him again. I’m seriously just pissed that I’m such a moron. I already told him I was done with him and the job and everything that had to do with him. I didn’t leave him an option then, but since he’s so hardheaded, I sure as hell made it clear today.”
“What did you tell him?”
I grab some ChapStick out of my purse and apply it. “Before I left, I told him I love Jay, I’ve always loved Jay, and that he and his restaurants were just a chapter. My life is here. With Jay. Our story is here. And today, I told him more of the same essentially.”
“You know Jay’d want to know, Olive.”
I take my seat belt off. “I know he will, but I don’t want to risk him doing something stupid. I just got him back after three years. Paxton means absolutely nothing to me.” And I’m embarrassed as hell that I played into Paxton’s stupid game.
“Tell him.”
“Bye, Ad.”
“Bye, Olive.”
I hang up and take a deep breath before heading inside. Once I close the door behind me, I set my purse down and take a deep breath.
“Hey, baby,” Jay calls from the living room.
I begin walking toward his voice. “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
“Because your Bluetooth picked up on the surround sound when you pulled up.”
I freeze in place and close my eyes. I hear the couch squeak and then his footsteps. “Look at me.”
I shake my head and jump when he grabs my hand, and I flinch when his fingers pass over the scraped skin. “Where else?” He tilts my chin up. “Look at me and tell me where else he fucking touched you!”
“I’m fine.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“He just grabbed my arm, but I swear, I’m fine.”
He lifts the cap sleeve, and his jaw muscles clench when he sees the distinctive fingerprints there. “Where else?”
“That’s it, I promise.”
“Where is he? His fuckin’ restaurant? Did you go downtown to Savored to meet him?”
“Jay, don’t. He’s not worth it.”
He rubs his thumb across my cheekbone. “Where. Is. He?”
I press my lips together, refusing to answer him. I don’t want him to do something stupid.
“This relationship isn’t going to work if I can’t trust you, Livvie. And not only did you lie to me about where you were going, but you also lied to me about who you were meeting. Plus, you failed to leave out the little detail of your night with him.”
He would have gone to Paxton and beat the shit out of him if I’d told him that part of it. I know it. And I don’t want that. Not then and not now. Because sure, I said stop, but my body obviously disagreed. I was giving Paxton mixed signals. Jay doesn’t need to go to jail for the mistakes I made that night. “I…” Can’t find a way to say it fast enough.
“You told me he touched you. You told me you felt guilty. You told me how lonely you were. You told me how much you regretted it. But what you didn’t tell me was that you told him to stop, and he didn’t. Why the hell is that?”
“Because I know you, Jay. And I don’t want to lose you again.”
He stares at me, dumbfounded. “You don’t trust me to take care of you anymore.” His voice is laced with so much shame it slaps me across the face.
“That’s not true. I’m never going to see him again, so I didn’t see the point in getting you upset over nothing.”
“Nothing? You’re not nothing, Olive. You’re fucking everything to me. Jesus, what the fuck happened to you while you were away?” He steps back and shakes his head. “You’ve never lied to me before.”
“He told me that this famous wedding planner asked about my work from the opening of the Portland location. I thought I was meeting him for business, and I swear I wasn’t going for anything else. I told him no at first, but when he told me why he wanted to meet me, I agreed, but I knew you would say no.”
“Absolutely, I would have said no to you meeting him alone. If it was something for your career, I would have gone with you to prevent something like this from happening!” He points at my arm. “And I swear to God, Olive, if you don’t tell me where the fuck he is—”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“I’m not an idiot, Livvie. Do you really think I’d do something to jeopardize any of our time together? Think I’d risk my job that provides for us? Do you think I’m that dumb?” Appearing frustrated with the way I’m acting, he turns around to walk away.
I shake my head adamantly. “No. But I am. I’m a fucking idiot, and I feel stupid that I met him and lied to you about it. I don’t know what the fuck my problem is. I don’t even know who I am anymore!”