LOGAN

The week drags on, and all that gets me through is knowing Kayla and I will be going on a date Saturday. I want to make sure that it’s the best date she’s ever experienced without being too cheesy or over-the-top.

Friday night I can barely sleep knowing what I’ve got planned tomorrow. Once the sun rises Saturday morning, I’m wide awake. I take Herman outside and sip a cup of coffee as the fog rolls over the wet morning grass. He hurries outside and rushes back in, but I stand outside breathing in the fresh air. Somehow, it feels like a new beginning—a fresh start—and that thought alone keeps me going the rest of the day until it’s time to pick her up.

Though we’ve done this many times before, my nerves are getting the best of me as I pull into her driveway. Taking a deep breath, I get out and walk toward her door with a dozen white roses. As I knock, my heart pounds hard in my chest.

With a big smile on her face, Kayla opens the door. Her hair is down and curled, and she’s wearing the same dress she wore the day we met. I’m sure it’s a coincidence considering she doesn’t remember, but it’s one that gives me hope. I tuck my lips into my mouth because I just want to kiss the fuck out of her, but it’s too soon for all that.

“These are for you,” I say, handing the fresh flowers to her.

“These are my favorite,” she says smelling the petals.

I don’t say a word and offer a smile.

“Of course, you knew that already,” she jokes. When she looks away, her hair falls into her face.

God. She’s beautiful and completely takes my breath away.

Opening the door, I step inside and follow her to the kitchen where she grabs a vase and fills it with water for the flowers. She sets them on the table and breathes in their sweet smell. As Kayla turns around, she’s smiling.

“Well, Detective. What’s the plan tonight?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “That’s a surprise.”

She chuckles and playfully rolls her eyes at me. For a moment, it feels like everything is back to normal, but I know better. Before we leave, Kayla lets the dogs out and places treats around the house for them to find later, but they’re smarter than that and sniff them out immediately. It makes me chuckle.

The drive to San Francisco is long but totally worth it. Her face lights up when she realizes we’re heading out of town. Small talk and chatter about current events fill the drive. We’re both smiling and enjoying each other’s company, something I’ve desperately missed. As I glance over at Kayla, I’m reminded of the first time we went on a date and how excited she was. The same girl’s sitting next to me, smiling, laughing.

Taking a back road around the traffic in San Francisco, we pull into a parking garage that’s close to Fisherman’s Wharf and all the shops. It’s been ages since I’ve been to this part of town because it’s so touristy, but there’s one special place I want to take Kayla. After we park the car and get out, we walk close to each other down the sidewalk. Every once in awhile our arms brush against each other, and I wonder if she can feel the burning fire that’s growing inside me. As tempting as it is to grab her hand or place my arm around her, I don’t want to make it awkward for either of us. In my head, I keep repeating this is our first date and hope my body listens, but pushing those emotions to the side isn’t the easiest thing to control.

As we walk down the sidewalk toward Pier 39, I snap a mental picture of how the wind blows through Kayla’s hair and how big she smiles when she laughs and talks. Tourists are everywhere, which only adds to the excitement when we walk around the corner and she sees the Kristmas Kringle Shoppe, a Christmas store open year-round. No matter what time of year it is, they’re blaring carols and are in the Christmas spirit. Biting her lip, she turns and looks at me like a kid that’s about to go into a candy store.

“I thought you’d like this place.” I smile and give her a wink, and she walks in beaming. There are dozens of Christmas trees decorated with different ornaments and themes. Decorations fill the store everywhere we look. Christmas tunes play softly in the background as she walks down the aisles looking at everything. I never knew this much Christmas stuff even existed. It’s completely overwhelming and beautiful.

“I didn’t know this store even existed,” she squeals, beaming. “It’s magical!”

“I agree,” I say, as we walk under some mistletoe hung over an archway decorated in white blinking Christmas lights. Blush hits Kayla’s cheeks and we stand there for a moment staring into each other’s eyes. I swallow hard, because for a moment, my Angel is right here, staring at me the way she used to. Instead of making it any more awkward, I grab her hand and walk her to the back of the store where Santa Claus is waiting with an elf for photos. Turning my head, I smile back at her. “Picture?”

“I’d love to,” she says, walking past the teenager and sitting on Santa’s lap. He goes through the motions of asking her if she’s been a good girl and what she wants for Christmas. She leans in and whispers her wish in his ear, and he looks straight at me and gives a big “Ho, Ho, Ho” before Kayla waves me over to be in the picture with her. Once I’m standing beside Santa, the elf counts down and snaps the photo. Before Kayla and I walk out, we’re handed the picture of us. Just to see that smile on her face—so carefree and happy—makes it all worth it, regardless of how much I miss the way we used to be.

On the way out of the shop, we stop at the personalized ornaments section. Not being able to pass up the opportunity, I grab one and request for it to be customized. It’s a gingerbread couple holding a wreath where the date will go. After it’s customized with our names and the year, they hand it over to me. Kayla decides to get three dog bone ornaments and has her pups’ names added. Insisting, I pay for the ornaments, and when we step outside, she hands me the gingerbread couple that was stuffed into her bag.

“No, I want you to have this one,” I tell her, handing it back to her. Smiling, she gives me one of those awkward friend side hugs and thanks me for everything. It takes all my strength not to pull her into my arms in the middle of the sidewalk. Though it’s busy and crowds of tourists walk past us, in that moment, it’s just Kayla and me.

I can only see her beautiful face, but unfortunately, she can’t see the me she knew and loved.

I never realized how truly hard going on this date would be, until now.

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KAYLA

I’d give almost anything to remember Logan. Every time he looks at me, I know there’s something deeply rooted there. It’s just buried a little too far for me to find. The fact that he brought me to a Christmas shop means so much to me. He’s so damn thoughtful and it shows. It’s not just the holiday that I love, but it’s what it represented to me as a foster kid. To say my heart was touched is an understatement.

We walk down the sidewalk toward the lookout. The sun is setting and purples and pinks splash across the sky along with long wisps of clouds. In the distance, I can make out the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. I’ve only been to San Francisco a few times and never experienced the Wharf, so being here with Logan is something that will forever be locked away in my heart.

I may not remember much of our past, but I’m willing to make new memories with him. Granted, this may not be anything compared to our past, but I’ve decided I want to try. I can’t deny the attraction I have to him. Each time I look at his lips, I want to taste them. I want to know if maybe kissing him will bring back all the memories, but I know he’s being cautious with me, which I appreciate. Logan Knight is a gentleman through and through.

We lean against the railing looking out over the water at the twinkling lights of the ships on the bay and Logan notices me shiver. Taking off his sports jacket, he places it over my shoulders. His smell surrounds me, and I breathe him in as the cool breeze rolls off the water.

“Are you hungry?” Logan asks, glancing over at me.

I nod. “Getting there.”

“Good. I have reservations for us.” Logan grabs my hand in his and we walk like a couple in love toward The Bay Supper Club. The place is packed and while we wait for our reservation, Logan and I sit outside on a bench enjoying the view.

“I have something to admit,” I say.

Logan lifts an eyebrow at me, intrigued.

“I’ve never visited this part of San Fran before. I’ve always avoided it because of all the tourists. I’m really glad you planned something so thoughtful. It means a lot.”

He lightly chuckles, the cool breeze carrying his laughs away. “I have something to admit, too.”

Now I’m the one who’s curious.

“I’ve only been able to think about how beautiful you are all night.”

My heart melts. I’m half-tempted to grab his hand and interlock my fingers with his, but just as I find the courage to make the smallest of moves, we’re being called for our table. Making our way up the stairs, we’re sat right by the window that overlooks the bay.

“The view is amazing,” I say, looking out at the ships.

“It is,” Logan says, but he’s staring right at me, and only me. His gaze is intense and full of so much emotion. I swallow hard as the waiter takes our wine and food order. As we wait for our food, we make small talk and it feels so nice. When Logan laughs, I can tell he’s genuinely happy. Over dinner, he listens to every word I say and responds and reacts to my stories. Logan’s completely enamored by me, and after this date, I understand why I loved him so much. The man would do anything for me, anything to make me happy. I can’t say anyone has ever treated me so kindly without asking for anything in return.

“Won’t you tell me more about us?” I ask as we finish eating our dinner.

Logan smiles over his glass of wine before finishing it. “I wish I could. I wish I could just transfer all my memories to you so you’d understand everything. There were too many special moments that I really wouldn’t know where to start. And honestly, I don’t think my words could do it justice.”

I search his face as he speaks and find myself watching his lips and mouth. Throughout the night, I’ve found myself noticing things about him, like the cute dimples in his cheeks that only show when he smiles wide or how he randomly tugs on the corner of his lip when he talks. It’s...sexy. The attraction I have toward him is undeniable.

Time is passing by so quickly, and I’m not sure I’m ready for the night to be over, but all good things must come to an end. Taking the long way back to the car, we pass through different shops and even stop to watch the street artists. During the drive home, I can’t stop smiling. The date was perfect, one of the best ones I’ve had, I think.

Once we’re back at my house, Logan walks around the car and opens the car door for me. My heart rate increases because I know what typically happens at the end of dates. As I walk up the steps with my Santa photo and ornaments in my red and green bag, Logan follows close behind me. I turn to tell him goodnight but the words don’t come because when my eyes meet his, heat rushes through my body.

“Tonight was great. I hope we can do it again sometime,” he says in a low raspy voice.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” I lick my lips. Waiting for it.

“Well...” He stalls as if he’s fighting a battle in his head “I’ll call you tomorrow, if that’s okay.” Logan searches my face and then turns to walk away before I can respond. My heart pounds harder in my chest while my nerves get the best of me.

“Logan,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. He stops walking and slowly turns around. “Your jacket,” I remind him, taking it from my shoulders and handing it to him, but time seems to freeze once we’re standing in front of one another again.

“Kiss me,” I whisper, bravely.

He looks at me like I’ve lost my damn mind, and maybe I have, but I can’t let this night end without knowing what it feels like to have his lips against mine.

“Are you sure about this?”

I nod and Logan gives me the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen before he removes the space between us. Gently, he runs his thumb across my jaw before moving even closer, then traces the shell of my ear with his mouth. Taking his time, he drags his lips across my neck causing heat to rush through me. As he threads his fingers through my hair, his mouth traces along my jaw until he softly tugs my bottom lip into his mouth and sucks. Tease. Logan Knight is a fucking tease!

Just as I let out a ragged breath, Logan’s lips crash against mine. His lips are soft and warm and cause my body to react in unimaginable ways. It’s not just a kiss, it’s kisses, passionate ones that steal my breath and thoughts away. My body is on fire and emotions soar through me, ripping everything I thought I believed about Logan Knight to shreds. Is it supposed to feel this way with someone I don’t remember? It’s purely physical in every sense, but I can’t stop. My hands thread through his hair, and I find myself becoming greedier with every passing second. Logan moans against my mouth, and I can feel his hardness against my stomach. Instantly, I feel guilty for losing control because for him this is more than two people kissing; it’s fully emotional and physical. But God, he’s such a good kisser and pours every bit of himself into me. By the time we break away, we’re both gasping for air, for some sort of recovery.

My mouth falls open and he smirks.

With hope is in his eyes, he searches my face. “Anything?”

I shake my head though it pains me. I halfway hoped his kiss would wake me like Sleeping Beauty. His smile slightly falters, and I hate it all didn’t come rushing back as I lost myself in his lips. I give him a hug before we say our goodbyes and whisper in his ear. “My mind may not remember, but my heart does.”