LOGAN

It amazes me at how well Skylar swims for her age. You can really tell she loves the water by the way she never wants to get out.

“C’mon, honey. We have to get going.” I hold the towel open for her, but she ignores me. There are other parents standing near me, all trying to get their children out of the kiddie pool they’re allowed to swim in once lessons are over.

“Once Mary is in the water, it’s nearly impossible to get her out too,” a woman standing near me says. It takes me a moment to realize she’s speaking to me.

I turn my face and look at her. She’s smiling wide at me, and she takes another step closer.

“The trick is to pretend you’re leaving without them. Mary gets out as soon as she sees me walking out.”

I raise my brows, wondering if that’s some kind of parenting tip I missed.

“Somehow, I doubt that’s going to work on Skylar,” I say, looking back at her in the water. “She’s obsessed.”

“Oh, Skylar’s yours?” The rise in her voice pulls me back to her face. “I’ve never seen you here before. I know your wife, Maggie.” She reaches her hand out for me to take. “I’m Heather. I met Maggie a few weeks ago.”

I take her hand and shake it. “I’m Logan. Maggie and I share joint custody,” I tell her. “Maggie had to go into work early today, and I was off work.”

“Ooh.” Her eyes widen at the realization that Maggie and I aren’t together. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She flashes what I assume is a smile that’s meant to be flirty and seductive, but comes across creepy and weird. “Perhaps I’ll see you here again sometime.”

“Maybe.” I look back out at Skylar and am ready to beg her to get out so we can leave.

I watch as she fakes leaving and tells Mary she’ll go back home without her. Just like she said, Mary takes the bait and starts crying as she runs after her mom.

I’m not sure I want to use a scare tactic on my six-year-old.

“Skylar, c’mon. Let’s get changed so we can go do something else,” I try and entice her, but she ignores me. She’s splashing around and keeps putting her head into the water. I raise my voice a little louder this time. “Skylar! It’s time to get out!”

“No!” she screams back.

I feel other parents’ eyes on me, secretly judging me and wondering why I’m here and not her mother. Maggie makes it all look so easy, but she’s had years of experience whereas I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.

I’m two seconds away from trying Heather’s method, but instead, I decide to try something else. I kick my shoes and socks off, roll up the bottom of my jeans, and march into the two feet of water.

“You can’t be in here!” Skylar shouts as soon as she sees me.

“I warned you, kiddo. Let’s go.” I don’t give her time to disagree and wrap my arms around her and swing her over my shoulder.

“Dad!” she screeches as I walk us out of the kiddie pool. All the moms standing around watch with wide eyes as I bend down to grab my shoes and her towel.

I nod in their direction as their eyes follow me. “Good day, ladies.”

The cold breeze hits me as soon as I open the locker room door. I set Skylar down and can tell how cold she is by the way she’s shivering and wrapping her arms around her little body.

“Skylar...” is all I say when she narrows her eyes at me as if she’s thinking about throwing a fit. “Lift your arms,” I tell her and wrap the towel around her. “Let’s go.”

Once Skylar is dried off and ready to leave, we head out. Heather stops me just before we exit.

“You know, you could’ve slipped and broken both of your necks,” she scolds me as if she’s scolding a young kid.

“Thanks for the memo,” I mutter, ignoring the way she stares at me. I grab Skylar’s hand and lead us out.

“I don’t think she likes you, Daddy,” Skylar tells me.

“Yeah, well I’m sure there’s a club she can join,” I mutter.

––––––––

Once we’re back at the house and Skylar has showered and dressed, she and Herman play in the backyard together. I text Maggie to let her know what happened just in case she’s friends with any of the other moms and they don’t give her the real story. Not that I really care or need to explain myself, but Maggie and I are on good terms for the first time in years, and for Skylar’s sake, I don’t want to jeopardize that.

I laugh, relieved that she isn’t upset. She knows Skylar can be stubborn, which she probably got from me in the first place.

M: No that’d be great. That means I can sleep in at least.

L: Okay perfect. We’ll be back around four then.

Just as I set my phone down and was about to grab Skylar so we could walk to the park, my phone beeps with another message. I assume it’s Maggie, but my eyes widen in shock when I see Kayla’s name on my screen. I sit back down and open the text.

I read her message twice because although she’s talking to me as Kayla—the girl who doesn’t remember anything about me—she also sounds just like my Kayla. The girl who rambles when she’s nervous, is overly sweet and kind, and yet is a little nervous around me.

Even though I know those memories of us are gone, it doesn’t make it sting any less when she calls me Detective Knight.

I want to give her space, without crowding her, but I also want to see her. I’m sure having my belongings there is as conflicting to her as it is to me. Taking it all back feels like the end of us is official. We can’t be together.

Her words make me smile like a fool. Feeling so relieved she’s not pushing me away like I was expecting, I text her back and gladly accept her invitation to come and grab my things. Even if it’s for a couple minutes, seeing her face-to-face will be worth it.

L: I’m busy tonight, but I can swing by tomorrow afternoon. 4ish, okay?

K: Works for me. See you then, Detective Knight.

L: Call me Logan. Please.

I can’t stop thinking about her. Skylar and I took Herman to the dog park and played for hours. Although they were both worn out, afterward we settled on the couch and watched a movie. No matter how busy I kept myself, Kayla was always front and center in my head.

I know the doctor said there was a good chance she could get her memory back, but to prepare for her to still have confusion even if it comes back. Still, the “what ifs” linger in my mind about if she doesn’t get it back and what that’ll mean for us. Would she give me a chance to show her what we had? Or could we be friends and start again?

Would we ever get that second chance or would she want to move on instead?

The only thing that calms me is having Skylar next to me. She fell asleep an hour ago, but here I sit, watching Frozen all alone while letting my mind wander.

I want to text Kayla and remind her how much I love her. I want her to know how she’s the first girl I’ve allowed myself to be with in years and how much losing her will break me, but I can’t put that pressure on her.

Fuck that. More like destroy me.

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The following morning, Skylar and I are up early taking Herman for a walk. She’s in a great mood, smiling and skipping as we head back inside the house. After breakfast, we get ready and then head to the skating rink.

“Are you excited?” I ask as I tie up her laces.

“Yeah! Are you going to skate, too, Daddy?”

She looks up at me with a hopeful expression that makes it impossible to deny. I haven’t skated in years, but for her I’m willing to try.

Two hours, four falls, and a meltdown later, we finally leave the skating rink. Skylar used a skate-gate to keep her from falling, but once she saw the other kids skating without one, she wanted to try without it.

Let’s just say it didn’t go so well.

“You’re a brave girl,” I tell her with a grin. “No more tears.”

She squints her eyes and furrows her brows with a pouty frown. “I don’t want to go.”

“Well, baby, we have to. Both of your knees are bruised and the rink is closing soon. Your mom will start to worry if I return you covered in bandages.”

She groans as I undo her skates and drop them off at the counter.

“C’mon. We’ll stop for ice cream on the way.”

That makes her smile, and once again, she’s skipping back to the car.

After a giant ice cream cone, we head back to Maggie’s. Once I’m in the driveway and parked, Skylar bolts out of the car and heads right inside the house.

“Hey, Maggie,” I greet her while she stands at the door as Skylar runs inside without even a goodbye.

“Hey,” she responds, her eyes following Skylar before returning to mine.

“Sorry.” I bite my lip and hold back laughter. “She fell skating and ice cream was to cheer her up.”

She tilts her head at me and purses her lips. “Thanks.” She chuckles lightly, knowing I was only trying to make Skylar happy.

“Mom! Mom!” Skylar shouts.

“Hold on, baby!”

“Skylar, come say goodbye,” I shout.

She runs back toward me and I kneel and kiss her. “You be good, okay?”

“If you’re not in a rush, you should stay for dinner,” Maggie says, taking me completely off guard. I stand back up and wait. “I followed a recipe online and I made way too much. So, if you’re hungry...”

“Um...” I hesitate because I told Kayla I’d be at her place around four and I’m anxious as hell to see her. Before I can explain I have to be somewhere, Skylar starts yanking on my shirt.

“Yeah, Daddy! Eat with us!”

I look down and see her precious face. Her pleading eyes pull at my heartstrings, making it impossible to say no to her.

“Sure, baby. I’d love to.”

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KAYLA

Oh my God.

Why am I so nervous? Should I be this nervous?

I don’t remember ever feeling like this with any other guy, so that must mean we really were a thing. According to Courtney, in love.

Before Logan arrives, I decide to read through my messages with Lucy. Our conversations are hilarious, and I find myself laughing as I sit on the bed. She’s been at the firm since before I started and she quickly became my work bestie. I know she’ll want to hear from me.

Instead of texting, I decide to call her.

“Oh my God! Kayla?” she answers immediately.

“Hey!” I say with a smile. Her voice instantly cheers me up.

“I’m so happy to hear from you! I’ve been worried sick. Boss gave me an update this morning actually.”

Listening to her chat makes me feel like no time has passed at all.

“It’s been an insane week. I would’ve called sooner, but I was still processing everything.” I pause. “Well, I still am.”

“So, you really don’t remember anything?”

“Nothing from the last two years,” I confirm. “It’s weird. It’s like I woke up one day and I was sent back in time.”

“Jesus, Kay. I’m so sorry. Do you think you’ll be coming back to work?”

“Yeah, I figure I will next Monday. I mean, I have to try anyway. Work will keep me busy, and I have two years of files to read through.”

“Don’t worry about your current clients. We’ve all split them and took them over so you wouldn’t have much to worry about when you came back. We’ll help you.”

“That means so much to me, Luce. Thank you.”

“You’re my girl, Kay. I’ll help any way I can, okay? Don’t worry ‘bout a thing.”

Before we hang up, she tells me to call anytime. I might take her up on it because just the thought of going back to work is already causing me anxiety.

I wanted to ask her about the day the incident happened and if she remembers anything that could give me some insight about where I was and why, but the doctor cautioned I be careful about how much information I’m told. However, I’d rather hear it from someone close to me than not know at all.

Lying back on my bed and staring up at the ceiling, I squeeze my eyes closed and try to think of the last thing I remember. Viola just had James. I held him in the hospital. Travis and Viola brought Ginny in and we all watched as she met her baby brother for the first time. He was born in early 2015, but I remember glimpses from Easter and the Fourth of July, but nothing solid. Travis and Viola weren’t married yet, but we’d been helping her plan the wedding for months.

Frustrated, I give up and peel my eyes back open. My room is familiar, but some aspects feel foreign.

My phone beeps and I see it’s a text from Logan.

Have plans? Right. The only plans I have are to stalk my social media profiles to try and figure out the last two years of my life.

K: I’ll be home all night. Come anytime.

L: Okay. I won’t be too long.

Those butterflies resurface inside my belly when I read his messages. It doesn’t make any sense to me now, considering I’ve only spoken to him a handful of times and hardly know anything about him. Yet, my heart seems to remember.

If that’s even possible.

––––––––

Logan texts me less than two hours later and lets me know he’s on his way over. I’ve tried to prepare myself for seeing him again, telling myself it’s no big deal, and that he’s only here to pick up his things—but my brain isn’t believing a word. The only memory I have of Logan Knight is seeing his gorgeous face the first time I woke up in the hospital. I mean, there definitely could’ve been worse views to wake up to, so I’m not complaining. I noticed the way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me, and touched me. When he realized I had no idea who he was, I could see how it destroyed him. It was as if I’d smashed his heart into millions of pieces.

Moments later, he knocks on the door and the dogs go wild. They probably remember him better than I ever will.

“Hi,” I greet him, opening the door for him to come inside. He steps in and awkwardly stands next to me, opening his arm up as if he wants to hug me.

“Sorry, habit.” He takes a step back, and I can see the sadness in his features. I hate that I’m the one making him feel that way. Even knowing nothing about him, I can tell what we had was special.

“It’s fine. I don’t bite,” I tease.

The corner of his lips tilts up in a knowing smirk, and it takes me a moment to figure out what he’s smiling about. Apparently, I do bite.

“So, anyway,” I break the awkward tension and walk toward the table where I have a box of his things. “I found some of your clothes and a Christmas sweater.” I hand him the box and sadness rolls off him. “I found the picture of us wearing matching Christmas sweaters.”

“Yeah, that was a fun night.” He smiles genuinely. “Even if you made me wear that horrible looking thing.”

I chuckle, knowing he’s being sincere. The whole point of those sweaters is the uglier the better. It makes it fun.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you made it look good.” I feel the rush of heat swarm my cheeks as the words blurt out of my mouth. I hadn’t meant to say that aloud.

“I bet you’re glad to be home, huh?” he asks, thankfully changing the subject.

“Yes,” I say with relief. “It feels weird, though. Like I don’t recognize parts of my life, yet it feels familiar enough.” He watches me intently. “That probably makes no sense at all.” I laugh, nervously.

“No, I get it.” He flashes a sincere smile. “Everything must feel so strange for you right now.”

“It does, but I’m just glad to be home so I can try to get back to normal.”

“You know I’ll help any way I can, right?”

“Thank you, Logan.” I say his name aloud and feel those warm flutters again. I hate the empty feeling in my heart. Knowing from the messages and what the girls have already told me, I feel like I broke up with a guy who’s perfect for me.

He smiles again, warming me all over, and just when I think he’s going to walk out, he sets the box down on the floor, takes a step toward me and wraps both arms tightly around me.

“I know you don’t remember me, Angel, but just know I love you deeply and nothing will ever change that.”

Tears begin to fill in my eyes at the softness of his voice and the gentle way he touches me. Never feeling the type of love I craved as a child, I don’t know how I could ever turn a man like this away. It’s no wonder I felt the way I did about him. And me not remembering who he is has to be torture for him.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper into his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Logan.” I nearly choke on my words as tears fall down my cheeks. I hate how confused and how torn I feel. It’s evident this situation is hurting him too. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? This isn’t your fault,” he tells me, holding me tighter. “I should be the one apologizing to you.”

“What? Why?” I pull away slightly to look into his eyes and I see they’re glossed over.

He rubs his thumb along my cheek and wipes away a few stray tears. “I only want what’s best for you, and I know I should keep my distance while you get back in a routine. But I’m selfish. I wanted any reason at all to see or talk to you and imagining not being able to, made me crazy.”

“You’re really sweet, aren’t you?” A weak smile forms on my lips. “I can see why I would’ve fallen for you.”

He chuckles and the tension in the air fades. “The irony in this entire situation is that you chased me for months before we finally got together. Now I’m here like a lovesick puppy.”

My eyes widen and I burst out laughing. “I chased you? I find that really hard to believe.”

“What? I’m serious! It was a whole cat and mouse game. Except you were the cat and I was the scared little mouse.”

I’m laughing so hard, it’s making my stomach cramp. “I don’t believe a word you say. The last guy I chased was Benjamin Bradley in the fourth grade. And the only reason I didn’t catch him was because my shoes were so torn, it hurt to run in them.”

Sadness creeps over his face, and I wonder what I said to change his mood.

“You’ve told me all about your childhood.”

“I did?” My brows shoot up to the ceiling. I’ve never told anyone. Not even my closest friends. “Like everything?”

He purses his lips and nods. “Everything.”

If I trusted him enough to tell him about growing up in foster homes, I must’ve trusted him enough to tell him about the adoption. “Even Abby?” I ask.

He blinks and slides his tongue over his bottom lip as if he’s contemplating his words before he speaks. “Um...” He swallows and takes a step back. I’m starting to notice he does that when he’s nervous. “Actually, no. You’ve never mentioned Abby.”

Guilt radiates through me as I try and think about why I would’ve kept that part of my life a secret from him if I was comfortable to tell him everything else. But perhaps it was one less reason for him to feel sorry for me. I imagine the way he must’ve looked at me when he found out about my childhood. I’m sure it’s the pity look everyone has given me. I don’t know if I could’ve bared the look he would’ve given me when I told him about Abby. It’s a look, I imagine, that would’ve changed everything between us.