Chapter 36 - Dave

Where is she? I let the phone ring through to voicemail and then hang up before leaving a message. She said she’d be here! She said she’d come to the hospital right away. And now, I’m still here on my own, watching my grandfather die right in front of me.

I should have known she’d let me down. She’s a Daniels, after all.

“Fuck her!” I say under my breath as I slip my phone back into my pocket. The anger washes through me and I relish the feeling. It’s better than being sad. Not even a text! Or a phone call! So much for keeping your word.

The very time that I needed her by my side, that I needed to know she’s here for me, she goes completely silent. I should never have relied on her! I got too comfortable and now, I’m going to watch Pop pass away and I’ll be alone. Completely, utterly fucking alone.

Pop’s words come back to me and I snort. She doesn’t fucking love me. If she loved me she’d be here. I look at the closed door to Pop’s room and exhale loudly. I can’t go in there, not right now. I stalk down the hallway to the elevator, not knowing where my feet will take me.

I end up in the lobby staring at a vending machine. Nothing looks good, but I choose a chocolate bar anyways. I wander through the quiet hallways. Visiting hours are over, but in the hospice wing they let family members stay all night.

I’m a doctor who hates hospitals. When I perform a surgery it’s at our facility and the place is buzzing with activity. People are getting surgeries to make themselves feel better, or to improve their quality of life. Here, it’s different. The entire wing of the hospital is reserved for people breathing their last breaths, and the whole place has a sombre feeling to it. The sterile smells, the white hallways, the beeping machines and nurses shuffling from room to room. It gives me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s oppressive and impossible to hide from the swirling vortex of anger and pain and sadness inside me.

Walking slowly, I nod to a passing nurse. I haven’t said a word to anyone in hours. Pop has been sleeping, drifting in and out of consciousness. I turn down the hallway towards his room and once more pull out my phone. It’s completely blank. The anger bubbles up inside me once again and I try to swallow it down.

Why hasn’t she called? Even a simple explanation as to where she is?

A small voice in my head wonders if something has happened. Maybe she’s hurt? Maybe she needs help? Surely she would have called? These past weeks have been so special, I know that this isn’t like her.

The anger inside me quickly overwhelms my mind and I push the thought away. What could possibly have happened? And surely she would have called me by now either way.

No, this is simple. I’ve been played for a fool once again. For the second time in my life, Izzy Daniels is at the centre of one of the most painful times in my life.

I curse myself. I can’t believe I let her in. I introduced her to my friends. I fucking married her!!! What the fuck was I thinking! How could that possibly be a good idea?!

My mistakes are plain to me now. I shouldn’t have listened to Pop when he said he wanted her to stay. I should have fired her immediately. Instead, I let her weasel her way into my grandfather’s life and into my own, and now I’ve paid her a hundred thousand dollars to abandon me in my time of need.

Fair enough, this wasn’t part of the contract, but if the past couple weeks are anything to go by I thought we had something. I thought she cared! Even the way she looked at me when I told her Pop was in the hospital. She was so insistent she’d be here as soon as she could! To look at me in the fucking face and lie like that is unforgivable.

The voice in my head says it again: maybe she’s in trouble.

I shake my head and turn towards Pop’s door. She’s not in trouble, she’s just Izzy Daniels. She can’t be trusted and I’ve been a fool to let her into my life. The best thing to do now is to forget she ever existed, get my inheritance sorted and send her on her way. If I do things properly I can finish out our contract without even seeing her again. I look at my phone and smash the keyboard with my fingers as I text her.

Thanks for not showing up. Got your message loud and clear. Don’t bother coming back to the house. We’re done.

I know it’s petty and unnecessary but I can’t help pressing send. As soon as the message leaves I feel validated. My resolve strengthened, I square my shoulders and re-enter Pop’s room. I take a seat next to him on the chair and grab his hand again. My heart is thumping and it sounds deafening in the quiet room. Pop wheezes gently and I feel my heart cleave in half. I squeeze his hand and try to make the lump in my throat go away. My whole body feels like it’s cracked and broken, like it’s just barely glued together and it’ll explode into a thousand pieces any second.

Pop’s eyes flutter open and he turns his head slowly to look at me. I think I see him smile, but his face barely moves.

“I’m here, Pop, I’m here.”

I’m whispering and crying and trying to keep myself together. I just keep telling him I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.

The tears are streaming down my face as I watch him take another laboured breath. He exhales slowly and I see his head fall ever so slightly to the side. His eyes are still open but the light in them dims. I frown, not believing it. It’s not supposed to happen like this. My heart starts beating faster until I lean forward and look at him again.

“No, no, Pop, not yet,” I whisper. I squeeze his hand harder. “Not yet, Pop, not now. Please.”

My cheeks are wet and the tears fall down onto my arms, my chest. I put my forehead down on his hand and let the sobs shake my whole body. I can’t do anything except sit there and cry. I haven’t cried since my parents and sister died, and then a part of me died with them. Now, here, alone in this hospital room with my grandfather I feel the same searing pain pass through me.

I drag my head up and slowly reach up to close my grandfather’s eyes.

“Goodbye, Pop,” I say softly. The tears are still soaking my cheeks and the pain in my chest is immense. I lean back in my chair and look at my grandfather. He’s gone.

I’m alone now, truly alone.

My breath catches in my throat and I feel another sob shake my body. I’m not ready for this.