CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

El

SINCE CHRIS SURPRISED me, it seemed only natural, normal even to have a giant family dinner.

On a Wednesday night.

Wine was poured.

And I was seated directly across from Dante. It would have been easier if he ignored me. Instead, his eyes had been locked on my face since we all sat down. His blue eyes so intense that I had trouble not squirming in my seat. And I was reminded about our conversation.

About his tell.

About him looking at my soul.

I grabbed my water glass with a shaky hand and took a sip.

Frank stood. Everyone closed their eyes and bowed their heads.

Everyone but Dante.

No, he kept his eyes glued to mine.

“Amen.” Frank made the motion of the cross.

“So…” Chris passed me a plate of something I wouldn’t be able to stomach if Dante didn’t stop staring at me. “Business as usual?”

The sound of forks scraping across glass plates had my nerves on high alert because they suddenly all. Stopped.

“We try not to talk business during meals,” Nixon reminded him in a lethal tone that had Chris paling a bit next to me.

“I see.” Chris cleared his throat and suddenly didn’t seem fazed. He grabbed another piece of chicken, while I tried not to pass out.

“So,” Chase smirked in my direction. His face promised trouble. My stomach clenched. “Chris.” And here we go. “Once you take El back to Seattle with you, what’s the end game? You gonna start trying for kids right away? Maybe buy a nice mini-van? A small dog? I say dream big, am I right?”

Dante reached for Chase’s wine and started chugging.

I didn’t blame him.

Nor did anyone stop him.

“Actually,” Chris beamed, the guy beamed as if he was so damn proud of whatever idea was about to float out of his perfect little model head. “I was thinking we’d move out of the parents’ house and—”

“Parents?” Chase, Dante, and I said in unison while Tex and Nixon shared a look across the table. Even Phoenix was smiling down at his chicken. What the hell?

Chris laughed. “Yeah well why move out when we live in a ten thousand square foot house? It’s not like I live in their basement and play Warcraft all day.”

“Damn it, and here I thought you could help me beat the next level,” Chase teased.

Chris joined in with some fake laughter that had me praying for lightning to strike the table so I could either die or leave. Those were my only two options at this point. Death or survival by hiding in my room.

“As I was saying, I was thinking I’d move out and we could go pick out a nice house together, nothing too big—”

“Oh, of course.” Chase nodded like he totally understood everything Chris was saying and agreed, you know because his house wasn’t going to be twice the size of Chris’s parents. They were building a moat. He was about to live in a castle with one other individual, they were going to need one of those airport sidewalks to get from point A to point B.

“Yeah,” Chris shoveled a bite of chicken in his mouth, chewed twice, and then started talking again. A piece of chicken fell out of his mouth onto his plate. It was a small piece. I side-eyed it, then glanced up to see Dante giving me a knowing smirk. Like he knew how completely turned off I was from this guy’s chewing — from the conversation. From everything.

Chris kissed like he chewed — with the sole purpose to get to the next step, digestion, more food, sex. It was a means to an end.

Kissing Dante was a feast in and of itself.

I drank more water.

“And as far as kids…”

Stop talking, Chris, just stop talking.

“I think we should get started right away. I mean neither of us are getting any younger, so why not?”

Sure, why not? Having children was totally the same as picking out a house or a paint color or moving.

I pressed a hand to my chest to keep from choking up the water I’d just drank.

“Hmm, have you asked El about any of this?” Dante finally joined the conversation. “What if she hates kids? Hell, what if she hates houses and wants to live in an RV. You gonna buy her an RV?”

“Um…” Chris looked between us. “Yeah, I guess I would.”

“That’s nice.” Dante tipped back the rest of Chase’s wine. “Isn’t that nice everyone? What a fucking gentleman this guy, buying her whatever her heart desires… because… you love her right?”

Chris’s eyes narrowed. “I think I could, yeah, what’s not to love?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Dante’s eyes met mine, the intensity was back, the soul-searching gripping flicker grew behind the icy blue gaze.

“What about you, Dante?” Chris asked leaning his elbows on the table, like an animal. “Anyone special in your life.”

“Yup.” He said it so quickly I almost got whiplash from the small time it took for me to look from Chris’s elbows to Dante’s smug face. “Or I guess you could say, I had her…” He didn’t once look at me. The table fell silent. “She’s got legs for days, though that’s not the first thing I noticed about her.”

Chris grinned seemingly excited the spotlight was off of him. “Oh yeah, what’s the first thing you noticed?”

Dante was quiet and then he spoke slowly, confidently. “Her pain.”

Chris frowned and looked around the table, his eyes finally landing on me. I was too stunned to speak.

“And the sexy as hell way that she rose above it, continues to rise above it, every day of her life.” He stood. “I loved that girl.”

“What happened to her?” Chris asked his eyes ping ponging between me and Dante.

“Beauty was never supposed to end up with the beast, Chris, she marries the prince. That’s what happened.” He grabbed the wine bottle, scooted his chair back, and walked out.

I was breathing so hard I was afraid I was going to pass out.

I made eye contact with Chase.

His face was indifferent except for the small smile that curved his lips and the quick wink he sent me all before he spoke. “Hey, Chris, have I ever told you the story about the white horse?”

“I uh,” I cleared my throat. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”

I was calm until I reached the hallway.

Calm until I reached my room.

And then I became a hot mess when I walked through the bathroom and found Dante in his. Barefoot with jeans and a T-shirt on, drinking wine straight from the bottle.

“Underage drinking.” I nodded. “Rough day?”

He shrugged. “Rough existence, and I think if I’m old enough to kill in cold blood, I’m allowed alcohol whenever the hell I want it.”

“Good point.”

The minute our eyes met.

A buzzing awareness filled the space between my ears. My head was full of it full of the way just being in the same room with him made me feel.

“Tell me the truth,” I pleaded. “Did you mean it? Any of it?”

“El,” He groaned and placed the bottle on his desk, before turning back around and holding my face roughly between his two hands. “Every. Word.”

Tears welled in my eyes. “Then I guess that’s that.”

His nostrils flared as he dropped his hands from my face and ran them through his dark hair. I expected him to give up. To do the noble thing. To be the guy I didn’t want him to be anymore.

Instead, when he turned back around his eyes were wild, the monster was back — and I was relieved.

“Fuck this.” Our mouths slammed together in a painful kiss as he lifted me into his arms, my legs tangled around his as we stumbled backward hitting his desk, sending the wine bottle flying along with everything else on top of it. And the whole time his mouth never left mine.

This side of him, this wild side, I would never get enough of it, enough of the way he angled his mouth over mine or pulled my hair to get better access just painful enough to be erotic. His fingers dug into my scalp only to leave as he pulled my shirt over my head. A ripple of tension pulled and snapped again when his teeth met my shoulder like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to bite me or kiss me again.

He chose both.

I swayed into his strong arms, trying to gain a footing, or some sort of control, but he only kissed me again, the taste of wine invaded my mouth, it was rich, intoxicating — heady just like Dante.

Words weren’t spoken.

Maybe they just weren’t needed.

Not when the line had already been crossed.

Dante’s expression was full of pain when he finally broke free enough to pace in front of me. “He can’t have you.”

I nodded, tears filled my eyes. “Not when someone else already does.”

Dante stilled. “I won’t stop. I’m seriously lacking in self-control in every area in my life, El. When it comes to you it’s a miracle I have any.” His lips were wet from my kiss, his shirt looked like I’d been twisting it in an effort to keep him closer and somehow there was a scratch down the side of his neck.

I think I made it.

I bit down on my lip then jumped into his arms. He caught me, like he knew I was going to jump.

He kissed me without reservation, this time, pawing at my bra before saying. “Next time.”

Next time?

He pulled my skirt up over my hips. “Damn,” He groaned, pulling my underwear aside as I fumbled to unbutton his pants.

They slid, and hung on his hips.

No boxers.

No briefs.

Heaven.

I reached for him.

He gritted his teeth. “Any other time I would die happy to let you touch me, any other time I’d think I wasn’t doing my job if you weren’t screaming out my name, but your guy, the one you’re about to dump, the one I’ve been itching to punch, is two rooms down.”

“Meaning?” I stole more words from his mouth with my kisses. He let me. His tongue plunged inside making me see stars, the way he kissed wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced. Every flick of his tongue sent me further and further into darkness I never wanted to wake up from.

“Fuck, you’re killing me, El.” His lips found mine again, two more times, and then he was sitting me on the freezing desk. “Just… you know what? I don’t even care, scream all you want, yell my name, make sure he knows you’re mine and that nobody deserves you.”

“I don’t want to be deserved,” I confessed. “I just want to be yours.”

We locked eyes, and then he was lifting me to the edge of the desk and I was trying to figure out how I didn’t realize how much the guy had been packing.

He surged forward invading me so hard and fast that I shrieked and then sucked in a much needed breath.

“Okay?” He stilled. “Because I’m trying not to split you in half, I swear—”

“More.” I gripped his elbows and slid onto him more forcefully as he lifted one of my legs and angled inside. I gripped his shirt like a lifeline, pulling him harder and harder against me until I couldn’t breathe, until all I felt were his thrusts and my own body pulsing around his length.

“Shit, El.” Dante braced his left hand against the table and kissed me again, lips slid, tongues tangled in an effort to feel more, to go deeper, to get more out of this small moment.

A blast of heat hit me, my thighs clenched around him.

“El,” he said my name reverently. “I’m here, just let go.”

I’d never let go.

Had no idea what it felt like.

And had no idea it could be like this.

“Then it’s over,” I said with an anguished voice. “This can’t be over.”

“Look at me,” Dante demanded.

Our eyes met.

“It’s not over — because it’s just beginning.”

“Promise me.” I clenched harder.

He cupped my chin, and kissed me softly on the lips before whispering in my ear. “I swear.”

It was all I needed to hear, to find my release to give my body completely over to both monster and man.

He surged forward as the desk slammed against the wall behind us, his kiss was rough, possessive as he climaxed, his breathing still ragged.

“I have an idea.” Voice rough, he pushed the hair out of my face. “We should stay here forever. On this desk, have people send food. That sort of thing.”

I laughed a real laugh and kissed him again, just because I could. “If only, huh?”

“If only,” he repeated with one last brush of his lips against my cheek.