CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

El

SOMETHING WAS WRONG. Chase looked completely wrecked, and Trace was so tense she jumped when I opened the cupboard in search of a cookie and again when I opened the fridge for a bottle of water.

Finally, I slammed the cupboard door and joined Trace at the kitchen table. “What’s going on?”

She swallowed, eyeing the table with interest. “I love him.”

“Nixon?”

Her smile was sad. “Nixon is my soul mate.”

“Okay?”

“Chase,” She licked her lips. “I love Chase. I can’t explain it other than I feel such deep rooted love for the man that I would do anything to keep him safe, even if it means protecting him from himself. He’s one of my best friends. It’s always been that way — maybe that’s why I could never be with him — our friendship got in the way, with Nixon there’s danger, passion, our souls know each other, recognize one another.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “He’s hurting and I can’t do anything about it, I can’t even comfort him without Nixon getting pissed.”

“Why would Nixon get pissed?” I asked.

Trace smirked. “Long story short we thought Nixon was dead, I was driven into Chase’s bulky arms, blah, blah, blah,” She laughed a bit. “But it would have never worked between us, we both recognized that, it was always Nixon it will always be Nixon, but Chase — I was so happy when he found Mil, when he had someone who loved him as much as I did, and now? Now,” Tears filled her eyes. “I get it. I finally get what haunts Nixon at night. It’s not enemies from the outside — it’s being broken from within.” She leaned forward. “It’s trusting someone, loving them so much — only to find out that they don’t feel the same way, or maybe they just love themselves a little bit more and are willing to do anything to make sure that they leave a name for themselves. Mil loves Chase, I know she does, but she loves herself I think, just a little bit more. It’s easy to become blinded when we’re put in positions of power. I think Mil got scared. I think she’s still scared. I think she’s trying to emotionally separate from all of us because she knows what’s coming.” Her eyes locked with mine. “Our enemy was never at the University, El. Our enemy was sleeping in our house.”

Chills ran up and down my arms. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying…” She stood. “…to sleep with a gun. I’m saying that we can’t trust her. I’m saying—”

“I’m taking off.” Mil swept back into the room.

We both watched her leave.

The door slammed.

“And now…” Trace sighed as tears filled her eyes. “…she’s going to die. He said he’d kill her if she left.”

“Wait.” I stood and grabbed the chair in front of me, bracing myself. “Maybe if we just talk to her.”

Trace snorted.

“Look, the car hasn’t even started yet.” I frowned “I’ll be right back.”

I ran outside without my phone, my purse, I walked away from protection, and right into the barrel of a gun.

Tears streamed down Mil’s face. “I’m sorry, El. It’s the only way. I tried…” Her voice caught. “They want you. It’s the only way.”

Memories slammed into me, memories of Dante’s kiss, his laugh, the time at the ranch house.

I swallowed and held up my hands. “Please, Mil. Whatever this is, we can get through it, just let one of the guys help you.”

“They can’t,” she whispered, gritting her teeth. “Don’t you think I want them to? Don’t you think I want help? They’ll get killed, every last one of them, they’ll walk into a trap. I’ve looked at this from every angle, and the only one that makes sense, the only one that will make them happy is your death. Can you do that for me?” The gun shook in her hand. “Can you sacrifice your life so I can have mine back? You’ve known Dante a few weeks, I’ve known Chase for the last two years. He’s my life! I deserve a life with him!”

“You do,” I agreed. “You deserve a life with Chase, just like I deserve a life with Dante.”

“Do you love him?” Her chest rose and fell as she lowered the gun.

“I love him.” I felt my body relax as my eyes filled with tears. “I love him.”

“Well.” She put the gun away. “Shit.”

I started backing toward the door.

She held the gun up again, her eyes darting from left to right before she jerked her head to the Mercedes. “Get in.”

“Mil—”

“Get in before I shoot you.”

I closed my eyes, I held onto the memories, the seconds, the hours I had in his arms, and did the only thing possible.

I whispered, “Goodbye.”

And said thank you to God for giving me at least twenty-four hours of Heaven — after years in Hell.

Once I was in the car, Mil put the gun away and hit reverse then accelerated out of the driveway like we were in a NASCAR race.

Mil started crying again as she trained her gun on my head, El, “Please, just don’t move. I can’t—” Tears streamed down her face; she wiped them away with the gun then pointed it back at me. “Do you think God would forgive me for the sins I’ve committed? Do you think Chase would?” Shaking fingers covered in blood swipe under her eyes, I didn’t even realize she was bleeding. “I just wanted to prove myself, save my family—” She gulped. “And I’ve lost everything.”

“You don’t know that,” I said softly. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“I do.” Mil sobered. “Tonight will end in blood, whether or not it’s mine or someone else’s is the only question. And I’m the reason for it.” She hung her head. “They want you. You’re a loose end.”

“You should have married Chris, this would be over by then, you know that? The plan was simple. I wanted out. They wanted you. I had it all mapped out, the gas station he would go by before leaving town, the flat tire in his car, the freak robbery that would take place killing you both. Clean. Easy. An accident. I didn’t think Dante was capable of doing the right thing.”

Stunned, I stared straight ahead. “You were going to kill me.”

“To save them? To save my family? Myself? Yes. I would kill you. I would kill you and not think twice. How much is a life worth, El? You were supposed to die right along with your parents.”

“But I didn’t.”

“No,” She snorted. “Because Luca Nicolasi put you under someone else’s protection and by the time anyone knew who you were, Xavier was owed a favor. You’re lucky you’re beautiful — it’s what kept you alive.”

“Lucky,” I repeated. “Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now, lucky.”

“I’m going to make it better,” Mil nodded. “I know what needs to happen. I just don’t want to make that phone call, you know the one where you hear the person’s voice one last time knowing that there is no going back?” She put the gun down and grabbed her phone. I couldn’t grab both the gun and the wheel without killing both of us. So I stayed still.

Chase answered on the first ring. “Mil?” I could hear Dante in the background. My heart clenched. “Why are you calling me when you’re in the same house—”

He stopped. Cursed.

“Mil, where are you?”

“I love you,” her voice was quiet, solemn. “I need you to know that. I need you to know that I will love you for the rest of my life. I don’t want this. I never wanted this.”

“Mil!” His voice broke. “Mil what’s wrong? Just tell me so I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix this, Chase.” Another tear ran down her cheek. “I have El. I had no choice. They all have guns, they’re good shots. Make sure Dante enters first, followed by Nixon. you have to promise me you’ll walk in last. Follow my tracker. I’ll lead you right to them.”

“MIL!”

“Promise me, or I’m killing her right now.” Mil mouthed a sorry to me but didn’t reach for her gun. Instead, she looked broken, as if she wanted me to steal it and shoot her.

“I promise.” His voice hitched. “I promise I’ll walk in last.”

“Good.” She exhaled. “That’s good.” The phone line cracked as Chase started yelling at Dante to grab his shit and get Nixon. “Life was perfect with you, Chase. I did this. This is all on me.”

“It’s going to be fine, Mil, we’ll get you out of it. I swear.”

“Blood in,” she whispered. “No out.”

And hung up the phone.