Eighty-Nine
Isobel
The ingenious idea of being on my period gave me a short-term hiatus from Hugo’s sexual persistence. For about a week, he would come home and sleep with me, holding me close without even trying to do anything, not even kissing.
At first, the relief for having his understanding and withdrawal was a blessing. However, as the days went by without him trying anything, it got me a tad worried. Even engaging him in conversations about how his day went or pointless and useless subjects that usually were a laugh between us back in the day didn’t seem to rouse any spark from him. Hugo became detached, yet he didn’t push me away in bed and still sought my warmth, holding me close every night without fail.
After the week ended with me worried instead of the other way around, I thought to myself that I needed to at least make an effort. Maybe if I could give him what he used to get from me, maybe it would help ease his grumpiness. Although I vowed not to initiate anything further with Hugo, I couldn’t help feeling awful since he was more than entitled to take what should’ve been his. Yet, his respectful nature had prevailed, giving me a choice. A decision. If I wanted to have him or not.
With my decision already made, it was noon when I summoned one of his drivers in the villa to take me to see Hugo at The Riviera.
The drive wasn’t a long one, and the moment I got there, I immediately headed straight for his office, deciding I wanted to take him out to eat. However, when I got there, it seemed that he’d just came back from one with Sherry.
I spotted them the second I got out of the elevator. They were strolling about, laughing at something as she held on to his arm while he had his hand almost cupping her pert bottom. The scene before me was so unexpected the emotions that welled out of me truly were a surprise. In a matter of seconds, I felt hot with intense jealousy racking me. The feeling was so acute I had a hard time breathing, and it felt as if my body was shaking, or maybe it truly was shaking. I wasn’t sure. Everything seemed to be happening at an alarming rate, and I couldn’t comprehend how to function.
I wasn’t his anything, so I wasn’t sure how to approach them, or maybe I should just let them be. I could go back to the villa and pretend that I hadn’t gone out of my way to see him, and maybe pick up where things had halted before I left for Athens.
My back and forth of weighing things went on a screeching halt when I saw Sherry’s hand disappear somewhere in his nether region, quite possibly on his dick. What enraged me most was Hugo’s look of pure delight. They were going to fuck… in his office. The sudden realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and without thought, I paced towards them, needing to put an end to their sordid display of wretchedness where any of his employees could easily witness if they pried hard enough.
“Hugo,” I uttered his name in such a painful fashion I almost felt faint with it.
He heard me call out to him, and the moment our eyes connected, he pulled Sherry to whisper into her ear while I stopped in my tracks, staring at them both.
In my stillness, I caught a different side of Hugo. There was tenderness even in the way he was speaking to her or how he was holding her close to him. I hadn’t witnessed the kind of bond he had with her and Chantel.
The curling feeling in my gut worsened when I saw him give her a chaste kiss on the lips before she bestowed him one of her flirty smiles then moved away, sashaying her bountiful assets as she headed my way. While she passed me, she granted me a small, mischievous smile before entering the elevator.
I stared after her as jealousy doubled when I realized that I would probably never be as confident as her and couldn’t entice a man by merely blinking. How long has he been seeing her again? I thought sadly.
“Isobel,” he called out to me, his face giving nothing away.
Swallowing whatever I could muster to moisten the dryness of my throat, I forced myself to shake out of my trance and move towards where he was patiently waiting, holding the door open to his office. I knew without even speaking to him that something had shifted between us. Even with this realization, the second I passed him and smelled his scent, there was something inside me that snapped.
“Are you fucking her?” I shot him the question even before he had the chance to shut the door properly. Once it was secured, he took his jolly time to stroll about the room, making himself a drink, while I stood there, simmering slowly in my own twisted and unexpected sprout of jealousy—the jealousy that had taken me aback because, before today, I hadn’t been aware I felt anything for him other than sexually. Maybe there was more to it than I had let on, but I wasn’t going to ponder it this instant. Maybe later on when I had the chance to truly see the reason behind it all.
Hugo made an effort to clear his throat, biding his time to finish the contents of his glass before he slammed it hard against the black granite counterpane. “Would it matter if I did or didn’t?” The lack of emotion in his voice gave me a clue of what kind of mood he was in, and I certainly didn’t have to guess. He wasn’t at all happy about my interference.
I gave him a hard look, seriously displeased by his lack of caring about the subject. “Are you?” I pressed on, incredulous. “You are, aren’t you? It’s because I’ve been less engaging lately, and you just couldn’t help yourself.”
He made a dry laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re one to talk. You’re the one who broke one of the rules. The first rule, in fact.”
Horror, shame, and embarrassment at my naiveté for being so stupid all along washed over me.
“You read the letter,” I gasped in shock, wondering why he’d never said anything to me. “You’ve known all along.”
Hugo looked away, but before he did so, I caught a glimpse of him wincing. After all the shame and humiliation, another emotion sprouted…
Fear.
My actions had repercussions, and since I was already caught in my own web of lies, Hugo had every right to revoke everything.
“Hugo…” I pleaded as I slowly moved towards him, but he stepped back, not wanting me to come near him. His blatant rejection heightened the fear in me. “If you’re thinking of voiding the contract—”
“I’m not,” he interrupted, giving a halt to my doubts and worries.
“God, thank you so much,” I rushed out as I thoughtlessly ran up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck for a hug before something possessed me to try to kiss him.
Hugo immediately stilled, getting ahold of my arms to stop me from doing anything with a death grip on my limbs. “Please, don’t insult me, Isobel,” he grunted out the words laced with hate.
Ever since I had come back from Athens, I had truly avoided seeing anything that pertained to him. However, at this moment, the blinds were down, the cast was off, and for the first time since I’d betrayed his loyalty, I saw the anger he had hidden away from me.
Seeing it with my own eyes merely heightened the fear and fright inside me, even though he’d given me his word that he wouldn’t void the contract because of my indiscretion.
He couldn’t even look at me, really look at me like he used to.
“Hugo, you should’ve said something…” I made a choking sound, feeling wretched all over again. “All this time—every night you held me—yet you never uttered a word about it.”
“What was there to say, Isobel?” There was bleakness in his voice, as if he was shutting me off already. “You made your decision, and I just had to regard that.”
“I’m sorry,” I uttered with sincerity. “You’ve been so kind to me, even though you have every right to do as you pleased, but you were generous enough to give me freedom to choose and make decisions.”
I gazed at him, waiting for him to say something. Instead of speaking, he moved towards his large, luxurious desk. Reaching it, he then decided to open a drawer, pulling out something from it. The manila envelope looked daunting as he held it before him. He seemed deep in thought as he pressed his lips together.
“I meant to give this to you at a later time, but now that you’re here, I think this is as good as any.”
A sheen of perspiration coated my skin as I froze in momentary dread of what that envelope contained. My heart galloped at an alarming rate when I saw him move towards me, stopping before me with a great amount of space still between us before handing me the damning thing.
“This is for you.”
“What’s in it?” I asked in a small, frightened voice.
He gestured towards the envelope that was now in my possession. “Open it and you’ll see.”
Licking my chafed lips, the whisper of doubts in my head ceased to exist the moment I found what was inside the ominous envelope. It had a bank account under my name with the same amount that my father owed, with a seal from The Royal Bank of Scotland. In it, I also located a bill that stated that the rest of my school tuition was already paid for.
Gripping the paper in my hand, aghast at his generosity, even after all I had done or not done to him, made me feel like a bloody heel. “You paid my tuition? What’s with this bank account with all this money in it?” I shook my head in confusion. “I’m confused.” But that was before I found the last item, a piece of heavy weight paper on the very bottom of the pile, a deed to a flat in London, fully paid and with my name attached to it. “What the bloody Hell is all this, Hugo?” My eyes watered as I stared at him in horror. His kindness was killing me inside.
“You’ve fulfilled the contract, Isobel.”
“But it’s only been about two months… I don’t understand, Hugo.” How had I fulfilled it when we hadn’t done anything? Besides, he was handing me all these things in the envelope that were so much more than what my father owed him.
He strode over to the glass wall that overlooked the scenic Monaco and its heart-warming beauty, biding time until he finally said, “You’re free to leave.” He let the words hang in the air as I fought for my brain to comprehend what he’d just said. “Let’s put this behind us. It’s time to stop the games and get on with our lives. If you have any problems, contact my secretary for anything you need—food, money, school. There should be a card in the envelope with her contact number. You can reach her anytime for whatever you need.”
Money? His secretary? What was I, a charity case?
“B-b-but…” I stuttered, thoughts disarray from his immediate decision of cutting ties with me. “After all this—what we shared—you don’t even want to stay in touch, do you?” The realization hit me to the core. That’s why his secretary’s number was attached to begin with. He had thought this out while he held me every night. He had been slowly letting me go without me knowing it. It was cruel. He should’ve said something at least. “Why?” I asked, not sure what I was truly asking him.
“You were forced into this. Now, you’re free.” He shrugged, still not willing to spin around and face me. He seemed content in staring at the world below his feet while I simply gazed at his back and his beautiful, handsome reflection in the glass. “Why question any of this? You’re free to go, Isobel. Why are you even here, spouting off questions when you should’ve run out of here, packed the rest of your things in the villa, and caught the first flight out of here?”
He was right; I should’ve done those things. And maybe I would’ve had I known he was setting me free so soon. However, since I’d had no clue when I woke up today, thinking that maybe we could compromise on his needs once more, I was, of course, left reeling, left with a lot of questions I wasn’t ready to face yet.
“You said you wanted me,” I wondered out loud as I tried to patch everything together in my slowly registering brain.
“Everything’s changed.”
Naïve I might be, but I definitely wasn’t daft. Of course everything had changed. But there was a part of me that wanted to hope that maybe he’d forgive me for my indiscretion and for maybe hurting his pride and male ego.
“How about if we stay in touch?” My light suggestion went unanswered; as a result, I pressed on with the caveat, “As friends?”
He snorted, finding my idea a bit absurd for his standards. “I don’t think that’s possible. I choose my friends wisely, and since trust and loyalty isn’t really your strongest suit, I’ll pass.”
His words stung. They went straight to my heart. I hadn’t been aware his opinion about me actually mattered that much, but hearing him say it out loud made me feel unbelievably tiny. I’d let him down badly, and there was no way in hell he would ever consider me for anything, not even as a friend. Ouch.
“Hugo.” Tears started to form in my eyes. “You can’t just let me leave like this. We need to talk… please.”
“You’re wasting precious time, Isobel. Besides, this is a working day for me; I don’t have time to spare.”
He was shutting me down, and I wasn’t ready to go yet. My stubbornness kicked in, needing him to give me a little time.
Wiping my tears away, my soft sobs didn’t do anything for him. Hugo remained distant, still staring at the view below him. “Why do I feel like this is goodbye?”
“Because it is,” he confirmed with ease.
He’d had seven days to come to terms with any of this, yet I’d barely had an hour and he simply wanted me to hop on and pretend as if he and I hadn’t shared anything—no intimacy… nothing. His callousness wasn’t a side I was accustomed to. Being in the forefront of his brashness was quite a painful thing to adhere.
“So that’s it? You got bored with me and now you’re ready to have Sherry and Chantel or whomever you fancy take my place?”
He remained silent.
His detachment shook me mad. “Answer me, damn you!” I screeched at him, wanting him to feel this hollow pain that was eating me alive.
After a full second, he finally spun around to face me, bearing his usual mercurial self. Truly unreadable. “I have to go. My plane’s waiting,” he simply informed me like I hadn’t just screamed at him. He was the epitome of calmness, while I was a raging inferno.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye,” I threw at him, meaning every single word of it. “I feel like there’s more to say. Don’t leave like this. Please.”
“All you’ve ever wanted is your freedom to go back home, to your friends.” His eyes focused on me with a look of indifference, or was that disgust? I wasn’t so sure which one. “You’re free from any contractual obligations,” he pointed out once more, highlighting my freedom. “What more do you want, Isobel?”
“I want more time,” I said without thought. “I know I’ve been distant and temperamental. It’s because of Damen—” I tried to reason with him, maybe show him a little of how much torment I’d been putting myself through to make him understand, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“That’s enough, Isobel.”
Shaking my head, I was adamant to stay. “But I’m not ready to go—”
“Isobel…”
“Please, I’m begging you.”
“No. This is it, Isobel.” He stared into me, making me feel as if he’d reached into my heart with his bare hand and squeezed it until it no longer functioned. “This is goodbye.”
With my tears, pleas, and heartache, I put a piece of myself out on display. “If I wasn’t in love with him, I could’ve given you what you wanted the most, but I can’t betray my heart. I hope you can see that. I’ve already caused enough damage that I’m not sure I can repair,” I sobbed. “Please forgive me. I wish I had given you a chance.”
He simply remained still, eyes flickering over my face, gazing, memorizing as I stared at him with tears slowly steaming down my face.
“Am I ever going to see you again?” Maybe in a year, maybe in two… ten years… I wasn’t sure when, but I would love to see him again.
“We end here, Isobel. We won’t be seeing each other again. I’ll make sure of it.” When he unexpectedly reached out with his thumb, not to wipe my tears, but to press it on my bottom lip, it felt as though he was searing it with something. Maybe he was saying his goodbye. He did once like to kiss me.
“Hugo,” I cried out, needing him to reconsider.
And when I saw something pass his eyes, I thought he’d change his mind. Instead, he merely left a kiss on my forehead, sealing his goodbye.
“Never let your father, or anyone for that matter, dictate your fate again.” He made a smile that broke my heart. “Go on, ma belle, follow your heart.”
It was his words that made me choke on the ones I wanted to tell him, the truth in his eyes clearly evident. However, what gutted me most was the fact that he’d made sure I was taken care of before leaving me. It was his kindness—even after all I had done to him—that ate me alive. How could he still be so generous when all I’d ever done was be a total bitch to him?
As I stared after the closed door where I’d seen him give me the last glimpse of farewell, I knew there was no way I would ever forget him. He’d dismissed me when I was ready to open up to him again, which had only left me hanging with my thoughts, needs, regrets, and unfulfilled longing that he roused within me. It was buried deep within, but I knew it thrived, waiting to be unleashed.
As farewells went, Hugo Xavier did know how to make an impression, making sure I had been taught a lesson.
A lesson that I’d know inside out soon—that being left behind when things felt unfinished between two people would have its own demons to contend with. Haunting dreams would soon make me question everything I had once believed.