The ride from Kyle’s house in Hampstead to Covent Garden took half the time than usual without traffic. I graciously thanked the driver and hurriedly entered the building. I quietly made my way into the apartment, not wanting to wake Lucy out of her sleep. I hunted for my luggage, unzipped it and lugged it onto the bed. I couldn’t even look at the bed without seeing images of Blake and me making love on it.

Shit, this is going to be difficult.

I felt like I was a walking, breathing dead person. There was a heavy-knotted feeling on my chest. Every time I breathed it hurt. It felt like someone had jammed my heart with a knife, pulled it out and left me open and bleeding.

I started taking off my clothes when I heard a knock on my door. I froze. Shit, is that Blake?

“May I come in?” Lucy’s soft voice said against the door.

“Yep, come on in,” I answered.

She walked in the room looking half awake and her eyes widened when she saw the luggage on my bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going back home with Kyle for a couple of weeks. I need some space… away.”

She sighed and sat next to my luggage. “Blake’s been calling my phone every hour checking if you came home. He’s going barmy and acting like a nutter. Haven’t you checked your phone?” I shook my head. I didn’t dare check it.

“Listen, I don’t know why you guys broke up and I feel awful that you guys did; I love you both and I hate that it’s come to this. He didn’t want to talk about the reason why you guys did. Would it be okay if I tell him that you’re home and you’re safe? The man hasn’t slept because he’s been so worried.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” my small voice croaked a response. She got up and hugged me.

“If going back home will help, then go, but if you’re not sure, then best you fix it with him; if there’s a chance for you both. Just think about it, okay? I love you, my dear friend. I’ll let Chad know later on today. Don’t forget to let us know that you’ve arrived safely, all right?” She kissed my cheek and quietly left the room.

My eyes burned, but no tears formed. I guess I had run out of tears from all the excessive crying I had done the night before. I jumped in the shower for ten minutes and got out to change.

Was there anything to contemplate with Blake? He lied. Technically, he hid the truth. He didn’t man up and confess his little dirty secret. Is the engagement his dirty little secret or I am? Now that I think about it, he never once asked me to accompany him to any of the events or galas he attended. Apart from our friends, he never invited me to meet other people he dealt business with.

Fuck, this realization hurts. I had always wondered, but I didn’t dwell on it because I was just happy being with him. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles. I only wanted him and I didn’t care about all the lavish parties he went to. The joke was on me. He only used me for sex. His declaration of love was pure bullshit.

I hastily changed into black, stretchy-skinny jeans and a black, fitted shirt with black, wedge heels. I pulled my wet hair into a bun and rummaged through my closet and my essential toiletries. I jammed them all in the luggage without a care. I didn’t even bother with make-up and settled for sheer lip-gloss instead. Kyle should be here in five minutes. I had better get moving so I can meet him downstairs.

I found Luce in the kitchen, drinking her morning coffee. Poor thing, she looked like hell from lack of sleep. Blake was so inconsiderate to bother Lucy in the middle of the night like a psycho. I knew he was worried, but Luce needed her sleep. Her school was taking up a lot of her time as it was. I hated Blake even more when I got a glimpse of her dark circles. We said our quick goodbyes and I left for downstairs.

Dragging my luggage out of the elevator and straight out of the main door, I didn’t see the person waiting for me. “Sienna, please talk to me. I’ve been out of my wits with worry since last night when you didn’t come home.” His eyes spied my luggage. “Going on a trip?”

“Yes, in fact, Kyle should be here any second. He’s going back home for a while and I invited myself along.”

“Why would you do that? You know how I feel about him. He’s in love with you! He’s going to take this opportunity and turn it in his favor.”

“That would certainly be up to me, don’t you think? Stop wasting your time.”

“No, we can figure it out. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you, Sienna, with everything that I am. I love you.” Liar, if he did… he would’ve ended his engagement before I even found out, but he didn’t.

He raked a hand through his hair. Dammit, he looks beautiful and sexy as hell.

“Stop lying to yourself and to me. Game over, so you should drop the act—” He swiftly captured my lips and I reeled from the impact of his kiss. After a few times of trying to coax my lips into submission, I gave in to my lecherous body. God, kissing him feels perfect… it feels like home.

I love him so much, it hurts. My tears fell freely and we both tasted them, but he didn’t stop. With a deep, heavy, guttural growl, he pulled my lips away and cradled my cheeks with his hands. “Did that feel like a game to you?” I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. “Damn you! That kiss felt more real than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you, too, Sienna. I can’t live without you… will you marry me?”

I gasped and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights as he got on bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly more than fifteen carats. The ring was a princess-cut, canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds and had been designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band; the eternity band.

“The color of the rock reminds me of the color of your eyes when they get caught with the sun, like liquid gold. I commissioned this ring to be made the day after I left for New York. That night, I knew you were it for me. I don’t want anyone else. I know everything’s been unfolding so quickly, but I wanted—needed—you to know how much you mean to me. I love you wholeheartedly. Will you please let me be the happiest man in all of England and say yes?”

I stared wide-eyed at the ring, back to his face and back to the ring again. Shocked didn’t even begin to cover my reaction.

“Blake… I’m sorry… I can’t.”

He abruptly stood up and grabbed my face with a fierce scowl. “What do you mean you can’t? How hard is it to say yes?”

“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I stammered through my tears.

“I see. I guess I imagined that you felt the same way, but I suppose that’s all it was, all in my imagination.”

He heaved and turned to me with a stony face. “You’ll regret this because I’ve only ever loved you and when you see me happy with another woman, you’ll regret it even more. Your thoughts will be haunted by me; the one that got away. Goodbye, Sienna.” He stood there for a few seconds before sliding into the Aston Martin, gunning the engine and rapidly vanishing through the traffic.

I wiped away my tears and exhaled a long sigh. I had done the right thing, I knew I had. He lied. I can’t trust him!

Kyle’s cologne penetrated the air, letting me know that he was close to me. “Did you see all of that?”

“I did. Sienna, you love him. And it hurts for me to say this, but what if you’re making a mistake? Don’t you think you should give it another shot?”

What good would it be without trust? It was worthless without trust.

How can one be happy with a liar? One who keeps secrets such as having a fucking fiancée? Even if I did give him another chance, I would be permanently living in a state of paranoia. I couldn’t do that to myself.

I did the right thing; the best thing. It didn’t feel like it in that moment, but it would be in the long run.

“No, let’s leave it at that. We have to get going. I don’t want to miss the flight.”

S

I didn’t let my thoughts wander to Blake’s proposal until I was seated. I ached while I watched the fluffy, white clouds through the airplane window as I listened to “Lovesong” by Adele from my iPod.

What happened that day was life changing for me. I didn’t know if I would be able to get over it. The hurt and pain was rooted deeply inside of me. I didn’t doubt that I would see him again; we did have common friends. It was simply inevitable.

I may have been broken right then, but the next time I set foot in London, I would be a different woman. A much stronger one, I hoped.

One that men didn’t trample on.