Emmaline
I can’t believe I’m going on my very first date. I don’t really date guys my age. I’ve never had time for any of that. And now to be doing so with the teacher I can’t quit? My professor, who was into my mother…wow, my head is spinning with every possible thought that I shouldn’t be thinking.
And then?
Nothing.
When he shows up, I don’t feel out of place standing outside the restaurant anymore. I didn’t want to be seen getting into his car before, so this is how I agreed to meet for our date. But I see him, sharp-dressed in an incredible suit and looking so damned good I could faint. When I see his hand extending out a rose for me, I'm so touched by the gesture. Ethan has made all my tensions disappear and made this moment so romantic.
A single red rose, with a black ribbon tied on it. I’m not surprised that Ethan has brought me another favorite aesthetic, romantic thing of mine for me. Phantom of the Opera, I realize, must be a story that he sees us, with hopefully a happier ending. He sees me as his beauty, and if he is a beast, then he is mine.
“Thank you,” I say, accepting the rose. I bring it to my nose and inhale the scent deeply, loving that natural mystery that roses have in their scents.
When I open my eyes, Ethan is looking at me. He’s got a wide grin spread over his lips and his eyes are crinkled up at the edges with just how much he’s smiling. His kind eyes are lit with such emotion it could bring me to my knees.
I feel my heart swell up in my chest that this gorgeous, wonderful man is looking at me like this, because of me. He wants me. Ethan wants me like I want him and I need him more than ever.
I lean forward to kiss him and though it's just a closed mouth kiss, I pour all my passion into pressing my lips against his. I need him to feel how much I want him, need him, and appreciate him. How much I desire him.
I pull back and see the adoration still present in his eyes, and I know he feels what I feel.
Ethan extends his arm, which I hook with my own, and we are escorted to a private room in the restaurant he’s taken me to. I have never been anywhere this truly fancy and elegant before. This is much fancier than fancy noodle place, like the difference between a shed and a high-rise tower.
The meal is incredible. I had no idea that food could even taste this good, or look this pretty on the plate before. I can hardly focus on that, though, because I’m watching Ethan. Watching him sip wine, with his elegant lips touching the glass and making my hair stand up on the back of my neck. I watch Ethan watching me, and the way that he smiles at me, and I’m so taken with him I barely have an appetite. I manage to, though, because no way I’m passing up the fanciest food I might ever eat in my life.
“You enjoying your meal, Emmaline?” Ethan asks, taking another sip of his wine.
“Enjoying it almost as much as the company,” I tell him.
He raises an eyebrow and smiles. “I find the taste of the company is much more delicious than the food, yes, though this room is nice. Private.”
“Yes,” I say in a small whisper. “I just realized something,” I tell him, and then I feel foolish and wish I hadn’t said anything.
We’re sitting next to each other, rather than across the table from each other, which is such a nice intimate touch that Ethan can close his hand over mine. He calms me and I don’t feel silly anymore. I feel so close to him right now.
“What is that, Emmaline?” Ethan says, and he pulls my hand to his lips and presses a small kiss there.
“This is the first time we’ve ever been really alone with each other.” I think maybe he won’t understand me, but I can see the light of recognition in Ethan's eyes. “I know that when we first slept together, we were alone in your home. We’ve been in your office.” My face heats with the erotic memories flashing through my thoughts. “But what I mean is, we’re in this room alone and we’re bare before each other. We both know what we want. The rest of the world has to catch up.”
Ethan draws a hand around my waist and holds me there for a second before he pulls in and kisses me on the neck. His lips on my skin are fire and ice battling for dominance, the heat of arousal and the tingle of pleasure coursing through my veins.
Ethan pulls back and squeezes my hand. “I need to tell you the truth about everything.”
“Ethan, I trust you. But I…I do want to know things,” I say, thinking about how now, when all the thoughts rush in my mind, they can’t bombard me. It isn’t me in an impossible situation; it's us facing difficult things. And together, I know we will figure this out. I’m glad Ethan is going to explain things, and I brace myself for whatever he might tell me. His hand holding mine comforts me, and I put my other hand on top of his and hold him, too. “I’m ready.”
“That girl, I was never involved with her. No one would believe it of course, and she came to my house, and she was obsessive. I understood obsessiveness, but I told myself I’d never be interested in any of my students. Until you, that was true.
“So I ruined you,” I say, with a small laugh.
We share a smile. I’m glad that I can bring something light to the heaviness of this conversation.
“Thank you for telling me the truth,” I say, running my thumb over the top of his hand, stroking the warm skin of his hand that makes mine seem so small.
“You saved me,” Ethan says, inhaling sharply. “That girl…she was leaving my house when she crashed her car, and I feel responsible even though I wasn’t involved with her. I thought that was some kind of omen. Like my passion, my obsession, was going to lead me that way. I should've been able to help that girl, but I was just a hopeless fool myself too. I need to tell you the story of how Joelle actually rejected me, because that’s what I flashed back to you after that incident with Aiden. I drug up all those memories, and now I understand how I’m a different person.” His eyes search mine.
If he’s looking for me to be upset, he’s not going to find it. “Thank you, Ethan.”
“Your mother, I saw someone she was dating decide they wanted more from her. I was being a creep and I hit that guy, too. Joelle wanted me to stop. My intensity has always been dialed up way too high for her. And I can understand that now. I know I get too violent, too passionate, and there’s no fucking excuse,” Ethan says, and his breathing goes ragged. “But I can be myself with you…and the person that I am changes, grows, gets better when I’m with you. I must sound insane right now. I understand with these cards on the table, you don’t want to be in a relationship with me-“
“Ethan!” I interrupt him. “I’m not exactly scoring major points in the healthy relationship column…I’ve avoided them all and I got completely obsessed with you. Of course I want you. I mean, I guess your temper and my timidity…they’re part of why we're together in first place.”
Ethan laughs. “Only you would see it that way. And you are not timid. You were just waiting on me. It's perhaps creepy that I thought I wanted to be with your mother, but she wisely rejected me,” Ethan says.
I can tell that he’s bringing this up because he’s worried about my reaction. “I’m glad my mother rejected you. I don’t think I could see anyone else with you but me. We understand each other,” I say. I’m serious, and maybe I sound overly confident, but I feel Ethan wrap his arm around me and his lips are on my ear.
Ethan kisses there and a shiver blooms from there down my body.
“We do,” Ethan says in my ear. “Now let’s have the valet get my car, and we’ll go understand each other in private.”