It’s been hours since I dropped Zara off at the airport and the ache I feel in my heart isn’t even close to subsiding. When I returned home, the laughter that I had grown accustomed to has all but dissipated. The girls were moping, they had the television on, but the sound muted. Stormy wasn’t on her phone like usual, and Willow was just staring out the window, almost as if she expected Zara to show up.

I’m not faring much better, sitting between my girls with each one resting their head on one of my legs. If I couldn’t hear them breathing or feel the slow inhale and exhale I’m emitting, I would probably think we’re dead or living in some alternate vortex because nothing seems right at the moment.

I’m trying not to be a selfish person here. I know she has friends and family in California, but dammit if I’m not pissed off that something has busted the happy bubble we’ve been living in. Deep down, I knew it was bound to happen. We both have work that we’ve been neglecting, but I was hoping that she’d find a way to stay here, to record her music in my studio and not have to run back to Los Angeles.

Of course, she didn’t leave because of work, but because of her friends being in an accident, and that is something I can’t contend with. I would’ve done the same, although, after the other night at Chet’s, I’m very selective with who gets my time now.

As I look out the window, I decide that is where I need to be. Working with my hands, manual labor, anything to get my mind off Zara not being here.

“I’m fixin' to go work in the barn,” I tell the girls. They both pick up their heads and offer me a sad smile. I have no doubt mine matches theirs. “Zara will be back. Her friends were in an accident, and it’s no different if your Uncle Chet was in one. We’d do the same thing.”

“We could always go see her. Maybe she’ll need us if…” Stormy trails off with her mother’s death still fresh in her mind. Hearing her now reminds me that I promised myself the girls would get therapy. I’ve been so caught up with Zara and getting the girls back here that I’ve let them down in that way.

“Do you want to talk to someone about your mom?” I ask them both. Stormy shakes her head while Willow shrugs. “Tell me what you’re thinkin,” I plead.

“It’s just… she really wasn’t much of a mother,” Stormy says.

“We couldn’t call her mommy,” Willow adds. Both statements stab me straight into the heart because I could’ve prevented this. I was stupid enough to believe that they’d be okay living with Iris.

“How come you never told me?”

“I thought you would take away my dancing, so I asked Willow not to say anything.” Stormy looks ashamed. Part of her should be, but I’m certain that her mother fed her a great amount of bullshit.

“I would never take away something that makes you happy, Stormy. Ever.” I make sure to look at both girls, so they know that I’m telling them the truth. I may not like the dancing, but Stormy does, and because of that I will support her. “You girls are the most important… well, everything in my life. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. That is why I let Willow go to California, so you’d have your sister, Stormy. Hell, even lettin' you go was hard, but I did it because it’s what you wanted.”

Stormy leans into me and gives me a hug. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you girls.”

“Anything?” Willow asks. Her eyes go wide with excitement.

“Well almost anything,” I say, only to watch her face fall. “What do you want, Willow?”

“A puppy!” she bats her eyelashes.

“Yes, oh my God, Daddy, can we please get one?” Stormy begs.

I act as if I’m standoffish, making faces at them to lead them astray. They clasp their hands together, jut out their lower lips, and continue to flutter their long eyelashes at me. I’m a sucker, and they know it.

“Okay, fine. We can get a puppy, but…”

“Anything,” Stormy says enthusiastically.

“No, not anything,” Willow adds. “I won’t pick up poop!” She rolls her eyes in the most dramatic way, causing me to laugh.

“First, we find one that has been left at a shelter. Second, he or she goes to training. Third, all of us care for the puppy. Fourth, said puppy is not allowed on the furniture. If you want to hold or cuddle, you’ll have to sit on the floor.”

The girls look at each other as if they’re contemplating my ground rules. They’re non-negotiable. I refuse to be kicked off my couch by a dog.

“Okay,” they both say in unison.

“Okay. Stormy, you get online and look at the shelters. Decide together. I’m going to go work in the barn for a bit.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” Stormy stands and hugs me, with Willow following suit.

I’ve always wanted a dog, but it didn’t seem right with all the traveling I have to do. Now that the girls are home for good, my tour will be less and less and will have to be scheduled around their schooling. I won’t be like Iris and put myself before them. If anything, her death has taught me how to be a better dad.

Outside, the sun is still blazing, and for some odd reason, I look up to the sky as a plane flies overhead. It’s not like it’s the plane Zara is on, but something told me I needed to look. Which in hindsight is a good thing because Chet just pulled into my driveway.

Thankfully, he’s alone. Not that I mind if Lori comes over, but usually Sarah is with Lori and I don’t have anything kind to say to her right now.

“’Sup, shit stain?” he says as he walks toward me.

“Not much, just about to head to the barn.”

He looks back toward the house and sighs. “Something on your mind?” I head toward the barn, knowing he’ll follow me. When I get in, I go right to the small frig that I keep out here and offer him a beer.

“Saw some headlines today, thought I’d stop by and see how things are.”

Instead of answering, I take a long pull off my bottle of beer. “You or Lori?”

“Lori,” he admits.

“Right, well if you have a question, ask it.” There was a time when I considered Chet my best friend, but after the other night, I’m not so sure we’re on the same page where our friendship is concerned.

Chet shrugs. “Lori’s concerned that you have yourself in a pickle.”

“Would Lori feel this way if it were Holly that was pregnant?”

He runs his hand through his hair and grimaces.

“That’s what I thought.” I walk further into the barn and pick up my tools to muck the stalls. “I don’t know why y’all have an issue with Zara.”

“I dunno. I mean, she’s not one of us. I mean, she doesn’t even listen to our music.”

“And that makes her some sort of alien?” I can’t even look at Chet right now because I’m fuming. Friends aren’t supposed to be like this.

“No, but come on, Levi. She’s different. She doesn’t fit in.”

“She fits in just fine,” I tell him.

“How much do you even know about her? I mean, Lori’s going on and on about her being hitched up and how there’s a scandal brewing because you got her pregnant. She ain’t good for your career, and the girls just lost their mother. Don’t you think you’re moving too fast?”

“I know plenty about her,” I tell him, purposely avoiding the pregnancy rumor and anything that has to do with her divorce.

“Oh yeah, what’s her favorite movie? Color? Song?”

Unfortunately, I pause long enough to let him know that I don’t know those things. “That’s all trivial.”

“It’s all first date questions that you ask, man.”

I put down my shovel and sigh. “Except I don’t get first dates, Chet. Hell, it’s hard enough to find a woman that wants to be with me, for me, and my fame and fortune. Holly, she wants the fame that comes with datin' someone like me. It oozes off her. I could tell from the moment I met her. But with Zara, she doesn’t care about any of that because she has her own.”

“But she’s nothing like you!”

“Exactly, and that’s why I love her.”

Chet takes a step back, almost as if I’ve stung him. It’s true, and she knows it. I’m in love with her despite the differences we share.

“Hey, Uncle Chet,” Stormy’s voice breaks through the tension. He turns toward her as she walks into the barn. She eyes me warily, making me wonder how much she’s heard. I know she had trouble accepting that Zara was going to a part of my life in the beginning, but they’ve grown close and over the past few weeks have been inseparable. I’m not trying to replace Iris, but I wouldn’t mind Zara stepping into the role.

I also wouldn’t mind finding out that the pregnancy rumors are true, even though I know they’re not. I’m not opposed to expanding my family, especially if that includes her.

“Hey, Stormy. Glad to have you back home.” He gives her a hug, but I can tell she’s not really into it.

She pulls away and looks at me. “I found some dogs. There are a few older ones and puppies down at the shelter in Franklin. Willow and I thought maybe we could get an older one too, give him a home since he was abandoned by his family.

“Y’all gettin’ a dog?” Chet asks.

I shrug. “Looks like we’re fixin’ to pick up two.” I smile at Stormy, who clasps her hands together. Seeing the excitement on her face is worth it, although I’m not excited about having two dogs running around. “Go get your sister ready, and we’ll scoot on down there.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” She hugs me, which sends my heart racing toward the moon.

“You’re never home,” Chet points how. “How you gonna care for two dogs?”

“See, Chet,” I say as I scoop up my tools and take them back over to the rack. “If y’all would quit meddlin’ and start talkin’ to me like a friend, you’d find out that I won’t be touring like a madman with the girls home, and when I do go on a tour, my mama will be here.”

“Or Zara?” he asks.

I know the smile that spreads across my face is pissing him off, but I don’t give a shit. I love that woman. “Nah,” I say. “The more I think about it, the more I’m certain. When I go back on tour, my family is comin' with me. Two dogs included. It’ll be one hell of a cramped bus, but man it’ll be worth it.”

I slap him on the shoulder and leave him in my barn, trying not to get royally pissed off at the audacity he has by coming here and second-guessing my life. The last time I checked, I’m an adult and capable of making my own decisions. He should respect that.

Now if he had come to me with concerns that Zara was cheating or not being honest, I may have listened, but he didn’t because he and his wife are too busy making a molehill into a mountain over the fact that Zara is a rocker. Believe me; there are worse things in the world.