CHAPTER NINE
MILLIE
Knowing your heart wanted something that you couldn’t have only made you want it more. I was sure Drew knew that when he repeated that he wouldn’t cross that line because the longing in his eyes didn't dissipate no matter what.
“All right, tell me all the details,” Rae pleaded from the driver’s seat. I didn't want to talk about Drew any more than I had to since the thought of him reminded me of how much he rejected my advances.
“I don't know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” I pretended to have no idea what she was asking, and instead directed my attention to the passing scenery.
“Play dumb all you want, but everyone done heard about you two.” I blinked, trying to digest what it was she had said.
“What? What do you mean everyone’s heard?” My stomach twisted into a painful knot. There was no us when it came to Drew and me.
Rae snickered, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I mean, Matt told everyone that you slept with Drew.” My head was spinning. The rumor mill apparently didn’t stop just because you graduated from high school.
“And not that I care or anything, but everyone knows he’s just using you and your daddy. He ain’t even got a place to stay when he’s done with work at your place.” My heart sunk into my belly at the thought of what Rae said.
Could it be true?
“What ya mean he ain’t gotta place to stay?” I turned in my seat, directing my question to Rae. She looked between me and the road.
“I mean, his grandparents are dead and the farm they had back in high school was sold a few weeks ago. Supposedly, it was torn down. Rumor has it, he’s been sleeping anywhere he can.” I gripped the hem of my dress, worry and guilt eating away at my insides.
“He’s been sleeping wherever he could?” I whispered the words more to myself than to Rae, though she still answered the question.
“Yup. Matt told everyone that his uncle found him asleep in his barn three weeks ago.” Rae wasn’t aware of the things that Matt had tried to do to me, or the fact that he was such a shitty boyfriend to me. All she saw was what I wanted her to see.
“Ya know, not everything Matt says is true,” I confided, knowing all too well that she would jump on the protect Matt bandwagon. Everyone did and they always would. His daddy was the county judge. He could get out of anything with the simple bat of his eyelashes.
Rae pulled into the Blackhawk campus parking lot a second later, snagging a parking spot in the back. She killed the engine and twisted in her seat, her face hidden in the shadows.
“Whatever hate you have for Matt, I totally understand it. Being that he broke your heart and all.” And all? I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I felt like complete shit for pushing Drew for more, for pushing the boundaries with him, not realizing how badly he needed this job.
“But he asked me out the other night after the bonfire, and I wanted you to know that I’m considering takin’ him up on his offer.” I shook my head as if trying to wake myself up from a never ending nightmare. Drew was homeless at one point in time, and Matt was trying to get with Rae, my best friend.
I gripped the door handle, shoving the heavy door open and escaping the confines of the Jeep. I needed space and air. God did I need air.
“Hey!” Rae hollered at me, but I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything. I just wanted to be left alone. My boots slammed against the concrete parking lot as I hurried to the entrance. The truth had been there the whole time. Drew wasn’t lying. He had too much at risk to be with me, and yet I pushed him and pushed him. I shoved a hand through my hair, trying to calm my breathing.
In. Out.
In. Out.
It was no surprise that as I focused on my breathing and escaping Rae and her confession that I wouldn’t notice Fuckface blocking the sidewalk.
“Hey, darlin’,” He purred, and I felt my skin crawl. His eyes raked over my body in a possessive manner, as if he was ready to take me right here right now.
“Uh, excuse me.” I tried to push past him but was met with a hard stare. The reality of what Drew had said finally hit me: he wouldn’t always be here to protect me from assholes like Fuckface.
“You’re excused, darlin’.” He paused. “To my room.” He busted out in laughter, his nose still yellow and purple from where Drew had punched him. I stared hard at him, willin’ the good ol’ Lord to strike him dead. What had I found appealing about this asshole?
Yeah, he had money and a decent body, but when I compared him to Drew, he looked like a cowpie in the pasture. He was lean and handsome with an athletic build, and once upon a time his dark eyes had put me in a trance, but now they just made me want to barf.
“You keep talkin’ to me like that and I’ll make sure you get two matchin’ black eyes to go with your busted up nose,” I snarled, finding my voice somehow. The fear I had for this prick was gone, and in its place anger flourished.
“Whoa, Lassie.” Matt’s nostrils flared and I knew what I had said to him ticked him off, but then again, I didn’t really care.
“I was tryin’ to talk to ya, Millie, and ya—” Rae’s voice cut off abruptly as she noticed who it was that was blocking my way. Matt had stepped out of my way and instead crossed the small space that separated him and Rae, his muscled arm wrapping around her small frame, his fingers sinking into her shoulder as he pulled her into his side.
My stomach rolled, and acid burned in my throat.
This couldn’t be happening.
“Didn’t you hear the good news, Mill? Rae’s finally done playing hard to get.” Matt smiled, his eyes seeking mine out. I could feel them on my body, and I wanted to puke. I couldn’t do this, not after discovering the truth about Drew. If Rae wanted to head down this road with Matt, then that was her choice, but I wasn’t going to stand there and watch her hurt herself.
Without saying a word to either of them, I turned on my heels and walked down the sidewalk and back in the direction of the parking lot. I wasn’t going to classes this afternoon, not with all of them there. I would find a way to make up the test.
“Wait, Millie!” Rae shouted behind me, her boot covered feet smacking against the sidewalk. I gritted my teeth and sped up, hoping she would just turn around and let things be. There wasn’t anything she needed to say.
“Millie, seriously, you can’t be walkin’ around. Let me at least give ya a ride back to the farm.” I clenched my fists together and turned on her, my eyes blazing with anger and hurt.
“I’ve got a ride, Rae. No need to go worryin’ about me,” I barked. I was being bitter as hell, but I wasn’t dealing with this tonight.
Rae’s eyes met mine, and I could tell she was conflicted on what to do. What she didn't know was that I didn't need her to make a choice.
“You're my best friend.” Fear swam in her eyes. Was she afraid of losing me?
“That's just it, you're my best friend, too, and yet you're considering sleeping with my ex.” I exhaled a ragged breath, frustration filling my features.
Rae threw her hands up in the air as if she was fed up, and I didn't have it in me to fight with her, not over someone as insignificant as Matt.
Instead, I turned around and started heading back in the direction I had been going before she tried to stop me, but this time she let me walk away.
The cool summer wind whipped at my face, causing a shiver to move through my body. I pulled my cell out of my purse and clicked through to the messages, a smile pulling at my lips as I hovered a finger over Nora’s message.
NORA: Don’t be doin’ nothin’ that would cause the law to be called. I ain’t there to bail ya out.
I typed out my response, telling her I wouldn’t even dare, and then hit send. I pressed the new message button and tried to decide if it was worth it to message him. I could walk home, though it would be long after midnight before I reached the farm. I ran a hand through my locks, my fingers threading through my silky trusses.
I didn’t have an option. I had to message Drew. If I didn’t and he found out that I walked home, he would tan my hide, and as much as the thought of him taking me across his knee turned me on, it wasn’t something I wanted to deal with right now.
I exhaled and typed out the message, clicking on his name as the recipient before hitting send. If he lectured me, I was turning my cell phone off and hoofing it.
Beep. Beep.
I glanced down at the screen, reading over the words he had typed.
DREW: Don’t move a muscle, I’ll be there in ten…
I smirked like a lovesick fool, settling my ass against the curb. My thoughts drifted away from things that I couldn’t control and instead to my daddy. I could call him and order him to tell me the truth about what it was he was doing, but would it make it better? Yeah, I would be happier knowing the truth, but Daddy was protecting me by keeping this information from me. I sighed. A choice had to be made. I couldn’t lose Daddy, not when I had just lost Momma not all that long ago.
It would kill me. It would kill the farm. Our lives.
I heard the sound of tires squealing across pavement as a truck barreled down the road, the headlights blinding me as I stood from the curb, hoping like hell that it was Drew and not Matt or Rae.
The vehicle slowed, and relief filled me as Drew’s handsome face came into view. How could a man as good looking and heartfelt as him be homeless?
“Get in, darlin’!” Drew hollered over the roar of the engine, and I listened, smiling as I gripped the door handle, pulling the squeaky door open and closing it behind me. The cab felt smaller than it usually did with Drew inside it, and I looked for a distraction, anything to keep me from reaching out and taking his hand in mine to remind him that no matter how much he frustrated me, I now understood.
“So, why didn’t you tell me the real reason you’re workin’ for my daddy?” The question left my lips before I could stop the words from falling out, and fear filled my belly.
Would he answer me?