Jad’s surprise visit almost fucks up my whole afternoon, but Claudia helps me get back on track. I fuck her until I can’t stand anymore. She comes on my cock a few times, begging me not to stop even though she can barely lift her head. After we catch our breath she gets in the shower and comes back to the great room wearing the red long john one-piece pajamas Sarah got me one year as a gag gift. I never even tried them on, but they look a shitload better on Claudia than they would have on me, especially since she hasn’t buttoned the top all the way and her perfect tits are hanging out.

I ask her where she found them. She casually says she found them in my closet. I want to ask her what she was doing in my closet, but she starts telling me that she’s my guest and it was “super” rude of me to interrupt her in the middle of her streaming television program. She flops back down on the couch and grabs the remote. I give her a minute to get comfortable. I pull on my pants and check Titus’s food and water situation. Then I stroll back over to the couch and sweep Claudia up into my arms.

She screeches but doesn’t try to fight me when I pick her up and fall on top of her on the couch. I tickle her, bite at her neck and tits until she’s wheezing from laughter and then I kiss her until I feel myself hitting that point. I need to pull back. I swing us both upright and pull her into my lap and watch three episodes of this weird ass show with her.

She has the nerve to say she would make the perfect vampire and I tell her she clearly isn’t patient enough for immortality and that launches us into a whole discussion about how she’s pretty sure I’m actually a werewolf and my remote mountain home is all just an elaborate cover. She’s pretty deep into how she thinks Titus is actually my cousin who can’t change back to his human form when I realize how much I like listening to her talk about this kind of nonsensical shit. I can listen to her talk about just about anything.

We call it quits on the paranormal primetime drama when she tells me she needs at least an hour to get ready for a formal dinner. I remind her that it isn’t formal and she tells me to mind my business when it comes to her business. She indirectly shames me into putting on a decent shirt and running a comb through my hair even though I put my hat right back on.

She takes more than an hour to get ready. I give her shit for it when she comes out of my bedroom, but not before I look her up and down. She’s wearing another pair of skin tight jeans and different pair of tan boots that come up to her thighs. She has on a long sleeved sweater that’s dark red and makes her tits look almost obscene. She’s put on makeup. I realize she hasn’t been wearing much or any since she got here. She doesn’t need it, but she looks amazing.

“Took you fucking long enough,” I say as I stand. I want to cancel this stupid dinner and spend the rest of the night worshipping her body on my own dining room table.

She fluffs her hair out and puts a hand on her hip. “Phsst whatever, bitch. You cannot rush perfection and you know I look good.”

I walk over to her and pull her into my arms. “You look amazing.”

“I would be a jerk and say something smart about how you’re not that cute, but you’re sexy as hell and I want you to do all kinds of things to me right now.”

“When we get back. I’ll do things.”

“What kind of things?”

“Kind of fucked up things.”

“I like that.” She lightly kisses me on the lips. I can still smell that pineapple but she’s added something glossy and sticky. “Sorry,” she laughs when she catches me wiping my mouth. “I’ll make sure I take it off when we do the kinda fucked up things later tonight.”

I grab her ass and nudge her toward the door. “If you’re good. Come on, T!” Titus comes sprinting out of the kitchen and joins us as we head out to the truck. I have to wrestle him into the back of the cab, but he’s still happy to be coming along.

“Okay. Is there anything I need to know before I go into this lion’s den?” Claudia asks when we pull back out to the main road.

“It’s not much of a lion’s den. It’s just The Tierneys. Jad and May-Bell will both try to grill you in their own way. Just be upfront. That’s the only advice I can give you. Jad is a walking lie detector. He used to be the county sheriff, and May-Bell is just nosy as hell. Tell them what they want to know in the simplest terms up front and they’ll get off your back and move on to something else.”

“So don’t tell them how I’m an ex-Las Vegas showgirl turned investigative reporter turned treasure hunter who heard there was gold up in these hills?”

“You can certainly try that. They might ask me if there’s something really fucking wrong with you. I think the truth will work.”

“Fine.” She sighs.

When we pull up to May-Bell and Jad’s I’m glad to see that Jad wasn’t bullshitting about needing my chainsaw. One of the pines in their yard went over and luckily missed the roof. It’s in freshly cut pieces up against the side of the house and there’s sawdust and wood chips all over the place.

I pull up behind May-Bell’s SUV and turn to Claudia. “Ready?”

“Is this the closest I’ll ever get to meeting your parents?”

“Yes,” I said. No need to bullshit her. Even if we did something nuts like get married, she’d never meet my real parents.

“Okay.” She lets out a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

* * *

We survive introductions. May-Bell, always the proper hostess, places dinner on the table and Jad offers us our choice of beers from his two favorite kinds of ale. May-Bell seats me across from Claudia. I don't like it, but Claudia seems comfortable when she takes her seat. She smiles and winks at me.

“Claudia, honey, you ever had venison stew? It's Shep’s favorite,” May-Bell says.

“No I haven't, but it smells delicious. Thank you so much.” She passes her bowl and lets May-Bell serve her a healthy portion.

“I made a tart too. Jad’s watching his sugar so you can take the rest of it back over to Shep’s with you tonight.”

“That’s so kind. Thank you,” Claudia says.

“So tell us a little bit about yourself, Claudia. Where ya from?” Jad asks.

“Um, New York. I live in Manhattan.”

“Oh, quite the difference from our small mountain town. How do you like it out here so far?”

“I actually haven’t gotten to see much of the town yet, but the people down at the Light Grass Lodges were great and Connie?”

“Oh yeah, Connie’s a good friend of mine.”

“She’s underselling it. Connie’s her BFF. They text each other all day long,” I say. May-Bell frowns at me.

“My uh—my brother and I didn’t explore the town much last time I was here,” Claudia says. “But I would like to see more of it. I’ve been by the diner a couple times and Connie was very sweet to me.”

“She knows how to do service with a smile. It's how we say welcome around here.” I almost roll my eyes. May-Bell is laying it on a little thick.

“Well we’re glad you’re back, after your brother passed,” Jad says. He realizes his fuck up immediately and looks up, his eyes darting between me and Claudia. “’Pologies. I didn’t mean to bring it up that way.”

“It’s okay. Really. It’s not something that can’t be taken back and it’s kind of the reason I’m here now.”

“Not many people would send a thank-you note, but I saw Jerry—Sheriff Bingham—this morning and he said it was nice to see you again. We’re all glad you made it out alive. We’re glad Shep was there,” Jad says.

“Jad,” May-Bell warns.

“No, it's okay. It was…a bad situation. A thank-you note didn't seem sufficient. I'm just glad I'm alive to say thank you. Especially to Shep,” Claudia says.

“What do you do in New York City?” May-Bell asks.

“Um, I’m actually in between jobs right now. I was a buyer in women's apparel for Kleinman’s, but I resigned about a month ago. I’ll be looking for the next gig soon.”

“Oh what happened? Why’d you resign?” May-Bell asks.

“Just wasn't the right fit anymore, but we’ll see what else is out there.”

“You looking around here?” Jad asks. “I heard they are still looking for a new children's librarian back in town.”

“Oh no, I—I’m just visiting. I have to head back at the end of the week.”

I'm fine with this answer. This answer is in line with my expectations. I know she’s going. This isn’t a shock or a surprise to me, but Jad responds with another one of his meaningful looks. I can feel the cloud passing over my own face as I stare back at him. I know he has more sense than to go there, but he can't help himself.

“Well nice of Shep to give you someplace to stay while you're in town.”

“I invited her to stay with me,” I say. “Didn't make much sense for her to pay to stay at the Lodges when there are perfectly good accommodations right up here.”

“Mhmm. How long are you staying?”

“Just until Friday?”

“Well hopefully you get back to see us. Shep hasn’t had many visitors in a while.”

I sigh and put down my fork. “She knows Jad.”

Jad’s nails me with a look. “Does she know how long it’s been since you’ve had visitors? Does she know why?”

“Yes. She knows. She knows about Sarah and she knows I’m an anti-social prick.”

“Does she know Sarah’s the one who took care of her during the day shift?” He looks at Claudia who has now gone a little pale. “Did he tell you about the trips he takes so he can get over her?”

“Jad. Enough,” May-Bell’s voice is calm, but deadly. It's enough to shut Jad up, but only for a minute. He's been holding this shit in for years, but we can't do this now. Not in front of Claudia. And it’s also none of Jad’s business.

“May, thank you for a lovely dinner,” I say as I start to stand. My chest is pounding and I can hear water rushing in my ears, but I have to keep it together long enough to get Claudia and Titus back to the house. Then I can channel this shit somewhere else.

“Shepard, sit down,” Jad says. The authority in his voice makes me want to punch him clean in his throat. He doesn’t run this mountain anymore.

I keep standing, but I don't leave. I know what I have to say or else I might punch Jad. “You think I'm just as screwed up as Egil. You can say it. You think I'm just as screwed up as my mother. Probably worse, but I will never understand what you want from me, Jad. I’m fine. I’m employed. I’m taking care of my property and my dog. I’m not doing anything wrong.

“Sarah spreads my business all over this mountain, then splits with some other dude and somehow I'm the monster. You know Julia Tompkin’s kid told me there's a rumor going around the high school that I kill women up at my place and Jerry protects me? I shared something about myself with the woman I loved almost three years ago and people were afraid to look at me. All it took was stopping a serial killer and finally people start treating me like a person again. But not quite. Right? I'm sorry if I invited a friend to stay at my place.”

“But she's not your friend, Shep. She doesn’t know you and you barely know her. No offense,” he says to Claudia. I almost tell him not to speak to her but he barrels right through. “You two were thrown together by something terrible and months later she's back so you can shack up for a few days?”

“You’re out of line, Jad. You know nothing about us. And even if you did, I'm allowed to have guests up to my house!”

Jad shoots out of his chair, but knows not to get in my face. “And no one says you're not! But you don't have guests over to your place and you haven't in years and I'm sorry if it raises a little concern when Claudia here is the first in some time. I told Egil it wasn't good for him to keep you up here that way. He used the mountain as an excuse after Letta passed and now—”

“And now what? Just say it, Jad. I turned out just like him, but worse because I'm some sort of danger to the delicate women of Paluma County.”

“No. You deserve something healthy and happy and this is not how it starts. Again no offense, Claudia. But you can’t keep doing this, Shepard and you know it.”

I shake my head. I didn’t come here to get Jad Tierney to understand anything about me or my life. I push my chair in and look over at Claudia. “Let's go.”

Claudia stands and goes to grab our coats.

“Shep, please don't leave,” May says.

“I'm sorry, May-Bell.” I kiss her on the cheek, then snap for Titus. He's made himself comfortable by the fire with Fox, but he comes. He follows Claudia out to my truck and I do my best not to slam the door to their house behind me.

I take a deep breath when I climb behind the wheel.

“That wasn't about you,” I say. “That was all about me and some of it was about my grandfather.”

“It's okay, Shep. Really. Let's just go back to your place and watch a movie or something.”

I don't say anything. I just start my truck and slowly back down the driveway.

* * *

We’re quiet the rest of the way back. I’m too pissed to talk and I can’t wrap my mind around the sheer size of the balls on Jad. I can’t even contemplate what Claudia might be thinking. It’s barely eight o’clock when we walk back in the door and I know Claudia only got to eat five or six bites of her dinner. I need to feed her and I need to get myself together so she doesn’t have to spend the rest of the night worried about how pissed I really am.

I sit on the edge of the couch and scrub my face with both my hands. Claudia sits on the coffee table in front of me. She’s quiet for a long time. I’m not trying to shut her out, but my chest is still tight. I need more time.

“I get it, Shep. Really.” She reaches forward and I let her take my hand. Titus takes that as a sign that he should come over and lick both our knuckles. Claudia smiles and scratches his head. “Thank you for the kisses, T,” she coos. Then she sighs and looks back up at me. “They are just protective of you and my showing up here and staying with you this way looks shady as fuck.”

“It's not that. They think...everything that happened with my mom and my grandfather made me the way I am.”

“So what’s the truth? You tell me. What made you the way you are?”

“I don’t know if you’re born an introvert or not, but I’m an introvert and so was my grandfather. My grandma and Sarah brought us out of our shells.”

“And they think a love lost made you both crazy hermits instead of just sending you back to your introverted ways.”

“Pretty much. I know my grandfather could have tried to remarry, but he didn’t. He focused on me and I won’t lie and say I’m not grateful for that.”

“You’re grandfather sounds like he was a pretty great man. His name was Egil?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a bad ass fucking name.”

“He was pretty bad ass. He was a park ranger and being up here alone suited him just fine. People thought he was all mad and broken, but—”

“He was just minding his own business.”

“Yes.”

She nods and rubs her fingertips over my knuckles. I look at her dark nail polish. “That’s the nice thing about living in the city. Millions of people minding their own damn business. It’s lovely. So where does the other stuff come from? The kinky stuff.”

I sigh and just give her the dull truth. “The internet. Then college. Then people I met when I would go to the city for the weekends. Same way anyone figures out what they’re into.”

“Damn.”

“What?”

“I was hoping for something way crazier.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Ask me some more questions from your list?”

I look at her for a moment. She’s serious. I sit back and I pull out my phone. “What was your favorite movie growing up? What was your least favorite movie? Do you have any pets?”

“No pets. We had a dog named Coco when I was like six, but after she died my dad cried for like two weeks. My mom said no more pets. Favorite movie? I don’t know. Too many to name.” She cocks her head to the side and makes a clicking noise with her tongue. “Have you seen Weekend At Bernie’s?”

That makes me laugh. “Yes. It was one of the classics we checked out from the library.”

“Miles loved that stupid movie and I hated it. The man is decomposing. By the beach! He would have smelled so bad. Ugh. So gross.”

I laugh and turn her hand over in my mine. “It was a pretty stupid movie.”

“I don't think you're screwed up, Shep. Sarah sounds like a dick and if I’d known she was my day nurse I wouldn’t have brought her flowers, but it sounds like she just didn’t get you. Breakups are hard, but you obviously loved her and trusted her. She shouldn’t have told people about your sex life. Especially in a town this small. Did she really think she was in danger with you?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t.”

“I don’t think she was either. You’re rough and cranky as fuck, you do snore, but you’re a sweet, gentle man, Shep.”

“I never hurt her. I think she was pissed at me for not being exactly what she wanted. She was pissed that I wasn’t the full package. She texted me after she left town and told me she was still in love with me. She said that she would come back if I would just change.”

“That’s kind of shitty.”

“It was. But it doesn’t matter now. And Jad needs to get the fuck over it. You hungry?” She nods. “Are you above burgers?”

“Never.”

I make us a simple dinner and we watch more of her vampire show. I had something in mind for after we got back from Jad and May-Bell’s. It involved that bungee cord and some duct tape I found in the shed, but I know I’m too raw and still too pissed to do the scene right. A fuck up in the wrong headspace and I will hurt her. She says she’s going to change for bed and we’ll finish off the first season of Vampire Werewolf Bayou Blood Alliance. That’s what I’m calling it. I tell her to skip the pajamas and we both strip down to nothing.

I lay down on the couch and pull her whole body on top of mine. This is what I wanted the first night, every bit of her against me, skin to skin. I drape the blanket over us and spend the rest of the night running my hands up and down her bare back. My hands take periodic trips to her ass. I’m about to ask her what the fuck is going on with this teen witch girl when she tells me she is wet.

She lifts her head off my chest and looks me in the eyes. “Like really wet,” she says. My cock’s been behaving itself, but the moment she looks at me with those eyes my dick comes to life. I know she can feel it along her stomach. She squirms a little.

“You should see how wet I am,” she says.

“You want me to check?”

She nods.

I slip my hands down and grab her fully by the ass, and pull her body up so we’re face to face. I look down at her mouth and catch a glimpse of her tongue as it runs along the inside of her upper lip. I pull her ass cheeks apart with ease and I barely have to move my fingers an inch before I’m rubbing my hand in all this wetness. I’m a little shocked.

“When did this happen?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Last two hours or so.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. I was thinking about you and how nice it would feel to come just from rubbing my clit all over you.”

I slide the tip of my middle finger just inside her pussy. She’s soaking wet and perfectly hot. “I’m not sure if I know what you mean. You should probably show me.”

“’Kay.” She leans down and licks my bottom lip, then she slips her hands between our bodies and lines the hardness of my shaft up with her wet slit. She starts to move and then she kisses me.