Chapter 15
Zane was arguing the value of a boat with its owner when he got the call. Happy for a distraction, he stepped away and answered Brady with more enthusiasm than he really felt.
“What’s up?”
“We have a big problem,” Brady said, sounding out of breath. His first thought was that Kenley had bailed. That she hadn’t even given him a chance and had gone back to Hasher Bourne. But he hadn’t thought her loyalitis, as she called it, would allow her to abandon him.
“What’s wrong?”
“I got in late this morning. I parked out back to load up the boat that’s going to Toms River.” So far nothing was out of the ordinary. “I went into the office to take a piss before I left and I heard Kenley. She was upset and yelling. When I looked in through the window on the door, I could see a guy holding a gun on her.”
Zane zoned out for a full minute. When he was back Brady was going over the facts. Kenley had been robbed while on the job. Someone had hurt his Kenley?
He would kill them.
He was just formulating a plan when he caught the word bail and he snapped to attention.
“Wait. What about bail?” he asked.
“I need you to bail me out of jail. I freaked out when I saw her in danger. I guess my training kicked in without me knowing it, and I kind of, I don’t know, lost my shit. The asshole was unconscious and bleeding when the cops got there. Scott was off duty. They took me in.”
“Where’s Kenley now?”
“They took her to the hospital. She was really shook up. The officer said they would probably release me if my story checks out with hers or the other guy, but I need to get out of here so I can get to the hospital to make sure she’s okay.”
“All right. What do I do?”
“Here. Talk to this nice lady,” Brady said before Zane could get any more details. There was a shuffling sound and then a woman’s voice came on the other end.
A few minutes later he had posted bail and Brady was released.
Zane explained the situation to his customer as he booked a flight. He hadn’t unpacked. His bag was still in the rental car. Within ten minutes he was driving back to the airport. He needed to get to Kenley.
Zane checked in with Brady a few times during his delay in Charlotte. Kenley had been given some anti-anxiety meds and discharged. Brady had taken her home so she could sleep. Brady had a busted-up hand and would need to check in with the police again in the morning.
Zane was already planning to give him a large bonus for beating the hell out of the guy and for saving Kenley. Every time he thought about what could have happened he felt sick. Once he even picked up his airsickness bag.
This was all his fault.
He’d left her there by herself. He should have been there with her. He should have been there to protect her. Despite Brady’s reassurance that she was fine, Zane wouldn’t relax until he’d seen her for himself.
Without a second’s hesitation about the time, he knocked on Kenley’s door late that evening. He heard the clanking as Kenley disengaged all the locks, and when she opened the door his heart took over.
* * *
She wasn’t sure how she felt about Zane being there as she unlocked the door and opened it. Without asking, he stepped into her home, closed the door behind him and pulled her into his arms.
He felt so good. So safe.
She cried into his big chest uncontrollably as he apologized and kissed her hair. She wanted to ask him what he was apologizing for, but she couldn’t stop sobbing. She’d held it together all day, but now that he was here, she broke down.
Their misunderstanding seemed so stupid and petty now.
“I should have been here with you. I shouldn’t have left you on your own. I should have security or something.”
“You couldn’t have known this would happen. It’s not your fault.”
“What about the other things I’ve done? The hiding and avoiding you. Am I allowed to apologize for that?”
She let out a sigh. “You didn’t do anything that horrible, Zane. I think I freaked out. I got spooked and I used it as a reason to push you away before you could hurt me. I’m the one who should apologize.”
It was easier to speak her mind in light of what had happened. Having a gun pointed at you put things in perspective.
“I acted like a dick.”
Somehow she was laughing at the same time tears leaked from her eyes. She looked up at him and watched as the smile on his face faded into something more serious. More intense.
Then he leaned down and kissed her. It was a soft touch of lips. At least for the first time. When he bent down the second time, he pulled her closer and kissed her more urgently. His arms encircled her body, holding her against him, and she remembered a flash from earlier in the day when someone else had grabbed her arm and shook her. Threatening to shoot her if she didn’t turn over all the money they had. The man’s breath had been foul—beer and stale cigarette smoke. She didn’t want those memories to intrude on this happy moment with Zane, but she couldn’t fight it off.
He pulled away slightly when she froze.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking up at him. His eyes got wide.
He muttered a curse. “I’m such a jackass. I’m sorry, Kenley. I can’t believe I was so—” He shook his head and took a step back. “After what nearly happened to you today, now I’m here pawing all over you and forcing my way into your home.” More curses she couldn’t quite make out.
“No. It’s not like that,” she assured him. “Not exactly.” She sat on the edge of the sofa and he sat next to her, his hand resting on her shoulder to offer comfort, but nothing more.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. His words were soft and kind, but she noticed his other hand was clenched so hard the knuckles were white.
“It seems like a bad dream. Like it didn’t really happen.” His hand clenched even harder. She didn’t want to think about it anymore.
It could have ended differently for her. Brady could have been delayed somewhere along the way or not even come in to the office.
But that hadn’t happened. He’d walked in and stopped the man with the gun.
Though stopped was not really the word. She’d always seen something scary lurking in Brady’s eyes. That thing was unleashed on the scrawny man, who hadn’t known what hit him.
She knew that man couldn’t hurt her anymore. Brady said he was in the hospital. What she was afraid of was being haunted by the memories for the rest of her life. Up until that morning she’d been fine to be alone at the office and in her home. Now she didn’t know if she’d ever feel safe to be alone again. She didn’t want to think about the gun or the man or the fear anymore. She wanted to think about something else. Something good.
“I need you.”
“I’m sorry?”
He obviously didn’t understand, and why would he? It was an unusual request. “I need you to help block out what happened.”
“Oh.” His brows rose in surprise. “I’m not sure if that’s a good—”
She didn’t wait for him to argue whatever point he may have had, valid or not. She kissed him. This made sense to her. She wanted Zane to push the bad memories away. She wanted someone to touch her, whom she trusted and… loved. Yes, she did love him.
“Please,” she begged, hoping she could convince him by pressing closer. “Just for tonight. I don’t need any promises. Touch me. I don’t want to think about that man anymore. Take it away.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “It would kill me if I did something else that caused you pain.”
“Then don’t say no. Help me. Please. I want you to be the last person who has touched me.”
She looked into his eyes, testing his resolve. He glanced away from her with a look of pure torture, then with a groan he pulled her against him and kissed her hard.
* * *
Zane couldn’t believe he was going along with this. He knew better, but she was convincing. He’d flown home to do whatever he could to help her. He surely wasn’t expecting this.
But as she tugged up his shirt and ran her hands along his bare chest, he wasn’t going to stop her. He would go along with her plan and hope she didn’t regret it afterward.
She pulled her clothes off as if she was in some kind of race and then lay back on the bed, waiting for him to catch up. As he climbed on top of her he noticed a slight flinch and he pulled away. She was still frightened.
“I’m not so sure this is a good idea,” he said, though his body urged him—no begged him—to move on. But this wasn’t about his body or about him at all. This was about Kenley and what she needed.
“I’m fine.”
“You f linched.”
“It was because I felt kind of trapped for a second, but I’ll get over it. I want to power through.”
“It’s not even been a day. Maybe you should give yourself some time to—”
“No. Please just try again. It will be okay. I want this. It’s important. I want something good.”
Instead of moving over her again, he came up with a different plan. One where she could be in complete control of the situation.
He flopped down onto his back next to her and pulled her on top of him.
“I’m here. Do whatever you want,” he said, pleased with himself for coming up with such a great alternative.
She sat up, her thighs straddling his waist and then looked down at him nervously.
“I—I don’t quite know how to do this,” she confessed. She winced again, but this time it wasn’t with fear as much as embarrassment. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. She was so sexy, even in her inexperience.
“Just do whatever feels good to you, and I guarantee I’ll like it,” he said with a grin. “There’s no wrong way.”
She might not have much skill, but her instincts were sound. She moved on him like a professional. He put his hands on her hips to help guide her, not that she needed his guidance. He was actually trying to slow her movements as she fought to quicken the pace.
“Kenley…” He groaned out her name and clenched his fingers into her flesh. “Slow,” he begged. “It’s too much.”
Her hair fell like a curtain around them, and there was a very naughty smile on her face.
“I kind of like being the one in control. I feel so powerful,” she said wickedly.
“I might not have the power, but I can do this.” He pushed up off the bed to meet her thrust. The smirky little grin left her face, replaced by lust and pleasure.
She was getting closer. He could feel it with each thrust.
He raised his hips higher from the bed to enter her deeper. That was all it took and she collapsed on him. He could feel the tremors in her body as they matched his own pulses.
This was where he belonged. He would never be so stupid again as to think he could live without her.
She slid to the side and he turned so they were facing one another.
He trailed his fingers along the side of her face, down her cheek to her lips, which pulled up into a smile under his touch.
“Are you okay?” he asked as worry intruded on the moment. This seemed like a very unorthodox method to get over being robbed at gunpoint, but he was confident she knew what she wanted.
“I’m fine. A little tired. Thanks for making me do all the work.” Her grin told him she was joking. “I’m lucky. Things could have ended up differently for me today, but they didn’t. I want to move on and put it behind me.”
This sounded like a good plan, but now that he was thinking clearly again, he worried it wouldn’t be as easy as she made it sound.
He saw the bruises on her arm now. Where that man had touched her. Brady had mentioned the guy having the gun to her head. She must have been so scared, waiting for the last sound she would ever hear.
She had been attacked. Maybe it had been stopped before it became a higher offense, but the man—whenever he woke up in the ICU—would be charged with armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. Deadly.
He shuddered while trying to push the thought away.
He remembered his sister telling him once that people handled things differently. It wasn’t his place to tell someone they weren’t coping with something correctly just because it was different than how he would have dealt with it.
“Get some rest,” he suggested, hoping her wish to move on was as easily said as done, but he still had his doubts. He’d seen what Brady had gone through while wrestling the demons from his past. He squeezed her closer, wanting to protect her from her own demons.
“Will you stay?” she asked. He sniffed. As if there was any question as to where he would be spending the night.
“Of course. I would sit outside your door if you didn’t want me in your home, but I’m not leaving you.”
“I want you here. I feel safer with you here.”
“I want to be here.” It seemed like it was the easiest thing to say now. Ever since that morning in the hospital he’d been trying to avoid wanting her. He didn’t want her to hold any power over him or make him feel small. Now he realized it was him who had made him feel small and powerless.
Kenley wasn’t to blame for that.
She nodded and snuggled in closer before falling right asleep. He wasn’t quite ready for sleep yet. Instead he lay there with her in his arms, listening to her even breathing and feeling the steady rhythm of her heart beating against his ribs.
He’d felt trapped by his feelings for her before, but as he held her something changed. There was no more one-sided obsession, and he didn’t feel like he needed to keep her at a distance to prove to himself he was stronger than her charms. He kissed her hair, finally feeling free of all of that stupid, juvenile crap, and fell asleep more content than ever before.
He woke in the dead of night to a horrible sound. Retching. Light peeked out from under the bathroom door. He tested the knob and found the door unlocked.
Kenley was a mess. Tears streaked down her red cheeks. Her hair clung to her face and neck in sweaty clumps. Her skin was pale and seemed too tight for her body. As she moved her hand up to block the light he noticed how badly she shook.
“Oh, baby.” He felt his heart break for her as he ran a washcloth in cool water and went to her. He pulled her into his lap as he cleaned her up and held her close. “Are you okay?” It was probably a stupid question, but he didn’t know what else to say to get her to start talking.
“I’m f-f-fine,” she sobbed. Obviously that wasn’t true. He wondered if she would ever be fine again.
He held her while she cried for what felt like hours. It was a small blessing he sat next to the box of tissues.
When the last of her tears fell, he turned on the shower and helped wash her hair and body. He didn’t linger, or try to make it sexual, but he didn’t shy away from touching her either.
He understood her desire to feel something other than the harsh touch of that man’s fingers or the chill of the gun against her temple. He would do whatever he could to take her fear away. To anyone else it might have looked like a washing of bodies, but in reality it was an inner cleansing.
He whispered things to her. He told her she was strong and safe and wonderful. He kissed her softly when she looked at him in need. She didn’t have to speak to tell him what she wanted.
After drying her off, he carried her back to bed and held her until she fell asleep. But in the morning, she was gone.
There was a split second of panic before he heard the roar of the shower running and he relaxed again. Until the knock at her door.
“Kenley? It’s Brady. You okay?” Brady’s voice filtered through the door while he tapped again.
Zane pulled on his boxers and ran a hand through his messy hair as he went to the door to open it. Brady jumped back in surprise and then a slow, knowing smile came over his face.
“Morning, boss.”
“Morning.” Zane frowned at the other man’s grin. “Don’t start. I swear if you say I’m diddling my secretary, I will fire you.” Brady held up his hands.
“I would never say that. Mostly because I would never use the word diddling. No, I would probably say you’re—Oh, hey!” he said as Kenley came out of the bathroom.
Zane turned to make sure she was dressed. She was. She pulled the fuzzy robe closer around her. “How are you feeling today?” he asked with the smile still on his face.
“Pretty good. Thanks again for yesterday.” She didn’t look at their guest, just stared at her bare feet.
“No problem. Although I couldn’t help but notice how I was your hero and did jail time for you, but yet you sleep with this guy.” Brady thumbed over to Zane. He was joking, but Zane still felt like throttling him.
Kenley smiled at Brady’s joke with pink cheeks, her eyes still fixed on her toes. Maybe she was embarrassed that Brady was here while she was only wearing a robe? Or maybe she’d seen him in action and was now afraid of him too. As far as Zane could tell, Brady had handled himself very professionally. Well, except for beating the piss out of the suspect. But Zane didn’t fault him for that.
“Thank you.” She nodded in Brady’s direction.
“Well, speaking of the jail time, I need to head over to the precinct. Scott called and said they would most likely be dropping the charges this morning. There was a witness from the bar who heard him planning something. They thought he was just drunk and high. It looks like the guy is going to make it. Though he has a broken jaw and ruptured spleen. I don’t really remember anything after I stepped into the lobby. When I saw Kenley and the gun… I just reacted.” Brady shrugged as if what he’d done was no big deal.
It had been a very big deal. He knew Brady struggled with issues from his past service. Zane hoped this event hadn’t brought up bad memories.
“I appreciate what you did, Brady. You will be compensated for the inconvenience of being held in jail, but there’s really no way to thank you enough.”
“She’s okay and that asshole will think twice before trying something stupid like that again. That’s all I need. I guess you got this from here.” He nodded to Kenley who was tucked under his arm. “I’ll go take care of my legal issues and get on the road as long as I’m allowed to leave the state.”
“You can put it off until tomorrow or Thursday.”
“Can’t.” Brady smiled. “I have a date on Friday night. I need to be back.”
Zane had never heard Brady refer to one of his hookups as a date before, nor had he ever seen that sparkle in his eye. That look of anticipation was new. Before he could question him, Brady was gone.
“I should get dressed. I’m late for work.”
It was the second shock in five minutes. Was she crazy?
“You’re not working today.” He could tell by the way her spine stiffened that he’d made a mistake.
“Really, I’m fine,” Kenley said sternly with her arms crossed over her chest. “I have work to do.”
“What if I asked you to take an extra day as a favor to me?” He tried a different tactic.
“Hmm. Maybe.” She walked closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry Brady found out about us.”
“I’m not. I’m glad there is an us to find out about.” He brushed a strand of wet hair from her cheek.
“But he could tell everyone. I said I didn’t need any promises last night. I meant it. What happened doesn’t change things.”
“It doesn’t change how I feel about you at all. But I wanted to be with you since you left me at the hospital with the worst parents in all the world. I want to be with you, Ken.”
“I don’t expect anything from you.”
“You should.” Zane smiled down at her. “I don’t care who knows about us. You can’t back out now. Please don’t quit. And please, please say you’ll stay with me.”
“I will.”
He kissed her, feeling like his life might finally be on track.