Not signing up for Monday classes was a real stroke of genius on my part. As always, I woke up at seven a.m. the next morning. Yet when I woke up in Ryan’s bed the next morning with him next to me all sleepy, deliciously undressed, and warm, I had no trouble whatsoever in closing my eyes again and drifting back off into happy dreams.

My body felt different after spending the night in Ryan’s bed. If anything, the feeling reminded me of the body high that I got after a particularly good yoga session. It felt like I’d pushed my body beyond the understood limits of itself and found a new normal.

There had been several opportunities to lose my virginity in my past. I dated a couple of ok guys in high school that got relatively serious. Those guys certainly thought they were close to getting me to put out. I’d thought so too, even though I hadn’t been that into them. In hindsight, I was very glad I waited until I was a bit older and wiser. I waited until I could pick someone that would make losing my virginity a very happy, very pleasurable thing, instead of an awkward, fumbling mess.

I’m not overly sentimental as a general rule. I don’t go around viewing the world through rose colored glasses and thinking that my life is going to turn out like a Disney movie. It wasn’t like I thought that Ryan was in love with me or anything crazy like that. But I believed that Ryan was kind, smart, and good. He’d been absolutely wonderful. Sweet, giving, just perfect. The night before, when he made love to me, I felt like he listened to my body and my words. Because he knew I wasn’t as experienced, he put my needs first before his own, and that was what made me comfortable enough to enjoy myself. I couldn’t wait for round two.

When Ryan’s bedside alarm went off at eight-thirty, he smacked the snooze button in a sleepy haze. He wrapped himself around me like a tired, grumpy dragon guarding his treasure. I reveled in the feeling, even if he was a bit too warm and his arms a bit too tight. I liked being his treasure too much to complain.

But all good things, even sweet morning cuddles, eventually come to an end. When Ryan’s alarm went off again fifteen minutes later, he reluctantly turned it off and sat up. He looked happy to see me.

“Good morning,” I said cheerily.

He blinked sleepily and smiled at me. “Good morning Rosie.”

“You have to work today, don’t you?” I asked. It sucked, but I already knew that he did. It was Monday morning.

He nodded. “Yeah.” He looked over at the clock. “Ugh. I have a nine a.m. conference call I can’t reschedule. Otherwise I’d call in sick.”

“Do you want to take a shower with me first?” I asked hopefully. One good night in his bed and I was already addicted to him. I’d obviously never had sex in a shower before, but I was game to give it a try. Ryan’s blue eyes lit up.

“Yes.” He sounded almost as excited as I felt.

The sudden ringing of my phone ruined the moment. Who on earth would call at eight-fifteen a.m. on a Monday? I reached for it and nearly dropped it again when I saw who was calling.

“I have to take this. Sorry,” I mumbled, scrambling out of bed and out of the room like lightning.

My brain had gone from turned-on to turned inside out. It was my mom.

I answered on the third ring. My hands were shaking. “Hello?” I took a deep breath. “Mom?”

“Rosalind?” The familiar voice—and familiar tone of disappointment—made my eyes tear up.

Yeah. It’s me. Mom, you called me… finally.

“Yes?” I managed.

“Rosalind, I’m calling because your great-great-aunt has died.”

My mouth fell open.

My great-great aunt, Soon Yi, lived in Seoul. She had to be north of a hundred years old, and I’d never met her. I’d never even spoken to her on the phone. We’d literally never had any contact whatsoever. I wasn’t even sure if my mom had ever met her great aunt. Although I was aware of Soon Yi’s existence, and she was—perhaps—aware of mine, like a lot of the Asian diaspora, our family had been steadily falling out of contact with the motherland since stepping off the boat.

“Rosalind?” My mom repeated.

“Yes, I’m here. I’m sorry to hear about Auntie Soon Yi.” I paused. “What happened to her?”

“She was old.” My mom was never one to mince words. “I think she had a stroke,” she added after a moment. “My grandfather didn’t say exactly but that’s what it sounded like to me. She fell down shaking and then she went to sleep and didn’t wake up.”

I bit my lip. This was the most I’d spoken to my mom in an entire year, and I was desperate for contact. “Are you alright? Are you going to Korea for the funeral?”

“I’m ok. And no, I’m not going to Seoul. It’s much too expensive.”

“Oh.” My mind scrambled for something to say. There was so much I wanted to say to my mom, but all of a sudden, I couldn’t find the words.

“Ok, well I just thought that you should know.” My mom sounded distracted and far away. I could tell she couldn’t wait to get off the phone with me, her disappointing daughter who disobeyed her continuously and betrayed her by speaking to my dad. “Good bye Rosalind.”

“Wait!” I pleaded. “Mom, please don’t hang up.”

It was too late. The line had already gone dead. I tried calling her back, but it just rang and rang and eventually went to voicemail. I listened to the recording. It was sad but listening to her voicemail message was practically the only way I got to hear her voice anymore.

You have reached the voice mailbox of Cecelia Young, the recording told me. I’m sorry I’m not available to take your call right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, I will call you back.

I’d left my name, number, and a number of brief messages over the past year and half. Aside from today’s call, my mom had never once called me back. She’d promised me that she would cut off all contact with me if I accepted my dad’s offer to pay for my education. She said as soon as I stepped on the plane to LA, we couldn’t have a relationship anymore. I hadn’t believed her. I should have.

My mom wasn’t the sort of parent who ever made empty threats. She never had been. She said what she meant, and she did what she said. The moment I flew out to LA to talk to my dad, my mom began treating me like a stranger. It was like I’d died. Hell, Soon Yi—who was actually dead—got more of her attention than me.

I was her only child. Since my aunt Irene died, I was her only living relative in this entire hemisphere. Yet my mother had no problem cutting me out of her life with surgical precision when I made her angry.

Feeling helpless, confused, motherless, I sat on the bed of Ryan’s guest room and cried.