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Hold On To Me by Taylor Holloway (37)

Ryan

Rosie was her father’s daughter. She’d inherited his tenacity, strategic thinking, and propensity to bend the rules. It was impressive, and sometimes, a bit terrifying. I was glad she was in my corner.

And she was in my corner, and my bed. We’d quickly fallen into a comfortable rhythm, texting constantly and seeing one another every chance we got. It never felt like enough, though. I was well and truly addicted to her. And just like an addict, I was arranging everything in my life around getting my next fix.

By the Wednesday of the following week, I received the call I’d been expecting from Ross.

“Ryan! Happy hump day!” his voice was joyful.

I bit back a highly inappropriate reply about what I’d been doing to his daughter every night for the past week. This Wednesday, I was positive, would be no different. “Happy hump day, Ross,” I said instead, aiming for a pleasant tone.

“I just wanted to call and commend you on your progress with Rosie,” Ross told me. “She told me, and I quote, that she’s really enjoying spending time at your office.” He paused. “She told me that she feels like she’s really getting an education there.”

I almost spit out the sip of coffee in my mouth. “That’s good,” I replied. A smile fought its way onto my face despite my attempts to keep it down. Rosie definitely used those words on purpose. She had a dirty sense of humor. I loved it. We’d been making good use of my desk, my bed, her new bed, the shower, anywhere we could find. Rosie had the libido of nineteen-year-old, and I had a lot to teach her. We’d been very busy.

“I’ve also noticed that she’s purchased a few books to help with her LSAT prep course,” Ross was saying. “That tells me that she’s going to take it seriously. I can’t tell you what a good sign all this is. I wasn’t expecting her to change her mind overnight, but this is real progress.” He sighed. “I’d begun to think that nothing could discourage Rosie. I’m so glad to be wrong.”

“I’m glad you’re pleased.” The truth was, Rosie picked those books out at random while we were lying in bed after an extremely aerobic session, but whatever. They were LSAT practice books and they did the trick. If Ross was convinced that Rosie was getting excited about the prospect of being a lawyer, that was all that mattered. In truth, the more I knew about Rosie, the more I suspected that she’d make a terrible lawyer. She didn’t like to play by the rules, and she wasn’t particularly patient. It made for a great lover. Not such a great attorney.

“I’m absolutely pleased,” Ross replied. Since not pleasing Ross was the bane of secretaries and associate attorneys everywhere, I took just a moment to revel in it. It was best not to get to comfortable, however, because his next words shook me out of it. “I’m going to be in town next week for a conference. I should be arriving next Wednesday and staying until Saturday morning. The three of us should get together for a nice dinner.”

I’d rather eat dirt. “That would be lovely.”

“Say, are you dating anyone right now?”

My pulse leapt. Had he figured it out? Well, there was no use denying it. If he asked me directly, I wasn’t going to lie to him. I thought far too much of Rosie to ever lie about our relationship. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.” I sat up straight in my chair and tried to brace myself for the onslaught. I had enough in savings. I would survive losing my job.

“You should bring your girlfriend as well. I’m sure Rosie and I would both like to meet her.”

I started coughing. Thank god. He didn’t know. No need to tell him then.

“I’m not sure what her schedule will be, but I’ll certainly try.” If my voice sounded a bit dodgy, it was because I felt ill. Although I wasn’t exactly excited about the prospect of being fired, I did hate the deception. I wanted to tell the world that I was with Rosie. There was a good reason we weren’t telling him immediately, but it still bothered me.

Still, my reply to Ross was not a lie. Technically. I had no idea what Rosie’s schedule would look like in two weeks. She might be extremely busy. She might have a date with someone else. Anything could happen in an infinite universe.

“Good, good,” Ross replied. He was clearly not listening, which was a relief. “I’ll make some reservations for us.”

The conversation led another benign direction before concluding. I hung up the phone, feeling like I’d just survived a fistfight. I’d actually never been in a fistfight before—unless roughhousing with Ian counted. Still, I’d been taller and stronger than Ian since I was fourteen and he was sixteen, so winning had always been inevitable. Mostly I just tried to avoid hurting him.

Talking to Ross, I knew there was no chance of hurting him. He didn’t have feelings to hurt—at least, not in the traditional sense. He had an ego that could be bruised, and a temper that could be enflamed, but I wasn’t sure he felt things like sadness, hurt, or shame the same way normal people did. `

Thinking about Ross’ possible sociopathy was depressing, so I pushed it away. I glanced at my watch. It was five-thirty. Time to leave. I had a date.

“See you tomorrow,” I told Alexandra. She nodded. Alexandra had been quiet since she caught Rosie and I together on Monday. I thought she was still too grossed-out to form complete sentences, but now I was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t something else.

Alexandra and I had been through a lot together over the years. Clients had come and gone, business had been good, and not so good. We’d both worked a number of unconventional assignments. She was great at what she did. However, we’d never crossed the professional boundaries and had a personal conversation. Tonight, I felt compelled to change that.

“Are you ok?” I asked. “You’ve been quiet lately.”

She looked up at me from her desk. “My sister just opened her own business. A bakery.”

I blinked. I hadn’t known Alexandra had a sister. “That’s great.”

Alexandra nodded. “She’s only twenty-two.” She pursed her lips. “I’m so jealous I could just die.”

I remembered the feeling I first had when I saw Ian play with Axial Tilt. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m twenty-eight years old. She’s twenty-two and already more successful than me. I mean, I love her, and I’m so happy for her, but at the same time I hate her. Is that normal.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I think it is.”

I’d always felt that way watching Ian play. He was obscenely good at what he did. It came so easily for him, and even when his addiction was at its peak, he was so talented that he never hurt for money or attention. That’s not to say that he was happy or healthy. He wasn’t. But seeing him appear to be successful when I struggled to earn my way had always driven me up the goddamn wall.

“I thought I’d be in law school by now,” Alexandra said after a moment. “I thought I’d be further along.”

“You want to go to law school?” I asked, surprised. Alexandra, unlike Rosie, would be a phenomenal lawyer.

Alexandra laughed and nodded. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you all this.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my boss.” She shook her head. “I’ll try not to bring my shit to work anymore.”

I blinked at her. “Alexandra, you’re allowed to be a human being.” I hadn’t realized that she was one, but I was glad that she was. The fact that her whole hard-bitten act was, well, an act, was good. “I’m sorry if I ever made you think you couldn’t be yourself at work.”

She shook her head again. “I know you’re busy. I just try to be professional.”

“You can be both.”

She smiled a tiny, cold little smile. “Thanks Ryan. You should check out my sister’s shop when you can. It’s really good. It’s called ‘Natasha’s ’. Actually, I’ll bring in some of her muffins and scones tomorrow if you want.”

“That would be awesome.” I loved muffins and scones. If this new version of Alexandra came with baked goods, then this whole awkward conversation would definitely be worth it. “See you tomorrow.”

I was already considering how I could get Alexandra to Rosie’s LSAT prep class. It was already paid for, and all the supplies had been purchased. It would be a waste for her not to go…

“See you tomorrow Ryan.” Alexandra winked at me. “Have fun with Rosie!”

I got out of there as quickly as I could, afraid that I’d opened a door with Alexandra that I wouldn’t be able to close again.

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