“This apartment has its own private balcony,” Hunter was telling Trina and me. He waved his arms excitedly toward the unattractive sliding door. “That’s pretty rare at your price point.”

I tried to look interested in the apartment and its itty-bitty balcony, but I had to stifle a giggle whenever I looked at the man showing it to me. The fact that our apartment hunter’s name was Hunter hadn’t quite stopped being funny yet. He was even wearing a hunter green sweater. I wondered if he did it purposefully or was blissfully oblivious.

Trina and I looked around at the ‘balcony’. It overlooked a big, smelly dumpster. Given that he was trying to argue the dumpster view was a selling point, I suspected he was just oblivious.

“Wow,” Trina said, staring at the alleyway with displeasure. “How scenic.”

Hunter bobbed his head up and down and beamed. Her sarcasm flew right over her head. Hunter wasn’t the apartment locator that we’d wanted to work with, but when the woman we’d called saw our budget, she sent Hunter in her place. Apparently, she was too busy and important to deal with likes of us. Even in the world of student apartment hunters, Trina and I were on the low end of totem pole.

This was the third apartment we’d looked at, and arguably the worst of the bunch. At just under five hundred cramped square feet, this apartment was smaller, uglier, older, and more inconveniently located than our old place. The only thing this place had going for it, aside from being just barely within our extremely modest budget, was the fact that it was not under an illegal marijuana growing operation. It was, after all, a top floor unit. Trina and I had insisted on that this time around.

“I really don’t like this place,” I whispered to Trina as Hunter started waxing poetic about the apartment’s northern exposure. I thought the whole apartment smelled kind of funny, and its distance from campus would double my morning walk to class. Trina didn’t look impressed either.

“Ok good, because I hate it,” she replied. “I think the first place we saw was the best.”

I couldn’t help but agree, although when we’d seen the first place, we’d both assumed the subsequent apartments would be better, rather than worse. Hindsight was twenty-twenty, I guess.

Austin is an unexpectedly expensive place to live. In between a top-tier research university, a bunch of tech companies, the state government, and a booming music scene, there are way more people than housing in this city. The laws of supply and demand were basically demanding that Trina and I lower our already pretty low standards if we wanted to find a place.

“You two will have to share a bathroom,” Hunter said, showing us the tiny bedrooms next. “But the bedrooms themselves aren’t that small. Plus, they’re identically sized. You won’t have to fight over who gets the bigger one.”

The bedroom spaces were unremarkable, which made them just about the best thing about the apartment so far. “At least we don’t have to worry about our furniture fitting,” I quipped. Trina grimaced.

Getting new furniture was the least of my worries at the moment. I’d probably be sleeping on the ground for a while. Unless I could just continue sleeping with Ryan instead…

No. I shook my head to physically dislodge the thought. Although I definitely wanted to keep seeing him, and although being in his bed was extremely comfortable (to say the least), I was moving out of Ryan’s house as soon as possible. I’d abused his generosity already, and although he swore that I was not an imposition, whatever it was that we were doing relationship-wise would be quickly poisoned if I overstayed my welcome. Besides, I needed my own place to live for my own peace of mind. I looked around myself. It just wouldn’t be this apartment.

When Hunter pushed open the bathroom door to reveal that the smell I’d been worrying about was a massive amount slimy green shit growing on the ceiling in thick, furry sheets, I’d had about enough.

“You know, Hunter, I think we liked the first place better than this,” I interjected as gently as I could. I was ready to go back to the first apartment and sign paperwork. I mean, at least that place didn’t have a mildew mural on the bedroom ceiling. “Do you have any other places for us to see that are more like that?”

Hunter frowned. “Not really. These are the only three apartments that I have right now in your budget, period.”

Trina and I exchanged a glance. “Well I guess we should just start the process of signing the lease then,” she said after a moment. “We really need a place to live. We want to move in right away.”

Hunter’s expression fell. “Ok. Well we can try for that.”

“What do you mean, try for it?” I asked. “It’s in our budget. They need a tenant, and we need a place to live. We can do this today, right?”

Hunter looked apologetic. “Honestly? Probably not. There are probably at least three other applications on that unit, and the building might just decide they want to go with them.” He paused. “It’s because the unit is so nice”

It wasn’t really that nice. It was nicer than this apartment, but that wasn’t saying all that much. It was in a good location though, and it seemed neat, clean, and safe. At my price point, I knew that I couldn’t really ask for more.

“You mean you don’t think we’ll get it at all?” Trina asked. Her eyes were wide. She’d confided to me that she was already tired of staying with Chris. Apparently, he snored and left the seat up.

Hunter shook his head. I could tell he was trying to be delicate, and it worried me. “No, I don’t mean that. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. Usually I recommend that people put in multiple applications. But if you’re really interested in that place, and only that place, we should put in your application right away.” He pulled out his phone and poked at it while he talked. “The application fee is seventy-five dollars,” he told us. “I’ll also need some forms for your credit checks, copies of your bank statements, and I’ll need to get your utilities bills verified, too. Oh, and you can get a reference from your last apartment, right?”

Trina and I exchanged a worried glance. Would they take one from the police instead? I was pretty sure our landlord was now a wanted man. “Don’t we just need a security deposit?” I asked. That’s all we needed the last time we got a lease.

Hunter shook his head. “No. Sorry. That building is pretty selective.” He shrugged. “You know how it is. They can afford to be really picky. The nicer a place is, the pickier they can be about who they rent to.”

They could afford to be picky, but Trina and I couldn’t. We needed a place to live right away. I bit my lip. I had an idea. I didn’t like it, but it came into my brain without my permission and now it wouldn’t go away.

I took a deep breath and plunged forward. “What if we just put down all the rent for the next six months right now,” I suggested, knowing that it would mean a call to my dad and another chip out of my pride. “Would that help move the process along? Maybe move us to the front of the line?” I arched an eyebrow at Hunter and tried to project the sort of confidence and privilege that always seemed to get my dad exactly what he wanted.

If I did this, I’d be solving a short-term problem by creating a long-term one. Still, the worst-case scenario was that I could pay my dad back out of my student loans next semester. It would feel like shit, and it would give him some heavy-duty guilt ammunition to use against me if I stepped out of line, but at least I’d have a place to live.

Hunter blinked in shock. “Do you have that much cash?”

“Let me worry about that.” I frowned at him and drew myself up to my full height. I put on my most imperious face. “But I want to move in today. For this amount of money, I expect no long-winded paperwork, no reference checks, and no competing against anyone else.”

Hunter nodded at me, seemingly dumbfounded. I could see him reevaluating me and sliding me up a few levels in his mental rankings. It was funny how money and attitude always seemed to do that. “Let me call them and see what we can work out.”