“Why are you looking so shocked with Elijah’s invitation to his house, Harlow? You look like you’ve been electrocuted or something,” said Monica as we kept walking, trying her best to contain her laughter.
That made the group roar with laughter. Even Harlow himself chuckled a little bit, before shrugging and mumbling that he wasn’t shocked.
I didn’t laugh at all, though. I had a pretty good idea of why he was so fucking shocked. He was just pretending not to be because he was embarrassed or didn’t want to be mean.
For as long as I could remember, I had always been kind of a loner. Even when we were in the SEALs, I would often pass on the group outings. And if by some rare chance I did go, I would sit there silently, nursing some beers until the night ended.
Since I’d always been more of an introvert, I was sure that Harlow remembered vividly how much I preferred to stick to myself. But he would have particularly remembered an incident that happened some years ago.
One night all the guys were headed to a local bar for another night of debauchery. Harlow came into the barracks and saw me laying on my bunk, sleeping. He came over and playfully started slapping me, trying to wake me up.
I reacted before I realized what was going on. I sprang out of bed, slammed my body on him, pinning him down and almost breaking his neck.
Thankfully, I woke up in time to realize that I was not in combat but was having an encounter with some poor schmuck who thought that it was a good idea to wake me up while I was sleeping. He jumped up from the ground and raised his arms like he wanted to fight me, but the wind had been knocked out of him so he had little strength. He bent over and put his hands on his knees.
“What’s your problem, man?” asked Harlow, gasping for breath in between each word.
I was pissed that I’d almost seriously hurt him and probably equally as pissed that I had been awakened from my sleep.
“What are you waking me up for?” I’d asked, angrily.
“Man, chill,” said Harlow. “The rest of us are heading out to the bar to grab some drinks. I didn’t want you to get left behind if you wanted to join us.”
“Let me clue you in,” I said, icily. “I don’t like people, and I really love my sleep. If you ever attempt to disrupt my sleep for any reason ever again, I will rip off your fucking fingers and feed them to you one by one. Instead of going out drinking, if any of you had half a brain, you would be doing like I’m doing and getting as much rest as possible before we have to break camp in the morning. But I digress from my main point that I want you to come away with. Come close.”
Harlow leaned in, with me beckoning for him to come closer.
“Don’t ever wake me up when I’m sleeping!”
Harlow jumped back, cupping his hands over his ears, which were ringing from my unexpected yelling.
There was another night when someone else in our unit had somehow snuck a girl from the bar back to the barracks. Everyone else had been out or asleep, but the way that this guy—Keith— had stumbled in with her, knocking things over and acting like a complete lunatic, was so loud that I had no clue how more people didn’t know that she was there.
I heard her first, the high-pitched laughter echoing all around us. All I could do was shake my head and hope that the idiot didn’t get caught.
His bunk was just steps away from mine, and also close to Harlow’s. Keith and the girl threw themselves on the bed like they needed to rest or get their bearings. They looked like they were dizzy or going to be sick at any moment.
Then they turned toward each other and started making out like two horny teenagers. They undressed each other with wild passion, throwing loose articles of clothing all over, not caring where they landed.
Once they were both completely naked, the SEAL turned the dark-haired, petite girl around and entered her. She moaned loudly, holding her breath as he pushed deeper and deeper into her. He moaned right along with her.
I turned my back to them and towards the brick wall of the barracks, uncomfortable to just be there watching them. I cleared my throat after a few minutes, hoping it would clue Keith in to the fact that they were not alone, and they were being incredibly loud. Keith turned his attention to face me, but he didn’t slow or stop his stroke.
“I hope that you’re enjoying the show,” Keith said, laughing. “You may not remember it, but this is what fucking looks like. The way that you hate people, you probably have never even seen this except maybe in a porno. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
He continued pounding her pussy, covering her mouth every time she attempted to let out a scream. It was like he started to put on a real show because he knew that I was there.
“I know better than to bring a girl here, that’s for sure,” I told Keith. I saw Harlow stir in his cot, nodding at me as if he agreed.
The next day, when it seemed that he’d had a chance to sober up, Keith waited until we were out in the field running drills. He cornered me and hemmed me up.
“I know that you were watching me last night, creep,” he scowled, menacingly.
“No, I wasn’t,” I said, not too interested in defending myself from the accusations of this idiot. “And even if I was, whose fault would that fucking be?”
“Yes, you were, weirdo. And honestly, I don’t even care about any of that. The only thing that I care about is keeping my place in the SEALs. See, you and I are very different. You’re probably here because you come from a shitty home and were drawn in by some steroid-driven recruiter who made promises to you about seeing the world and having your education paid for.”
He was wrong about me, but I didn’t give a shit about his opinion. I didn’t even want to be listening to him. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone.
But he just kept talking. “Me, I was made for the SEALs. I bleed SEALs. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that I have earned my place here.”
“Okay,” I said, confused. “But what does any of this have to do with me?”
“I just want to make sure that we have an understanding of things before you get the bright idea that you want to get me out of here by ratting me out.”
He was trying his best to be threatening, but I knew that more than anything, he was afraid of me. I had something on him. I told him what he wanted to hear: that I wouldn’t tell on him for having the girl in the barracks. My exact lines were something like “I don’t give a fucking shit what you do.”
Harlow had heard it all, and later came up to me and said he thought it was cool that I didn’t rat out the SEAL even though he was an ass to me and had subjected all of us to having to watch him and the girl be skanky the night before. I just shrugged, which cemented a sort of “friendship”— the closest I got to being friends, anyway— between us.
The truth was that I didn’t care enough about asshole Keith or most any of the rest of them, anyway. Why would I invest time and energy into finding someone who would escalate things to have him kicked out?
True, he was a fucking pain in the ass, but to me he was no different from anyone else. Everyone could be a pain in my eyes. I didn’t exactly hate the other SEALs. We were brothers in arms, after all. But they simply had no bearing on my life and didn’t get much more thought than was necessary.
After that, it was as if Keith took every moment that he could to throw in my face the fact that I didn’t like people. And he’d also tell me that I was probably going to die alone.
I didn’t know what it was about me that seemed to rub him the wrong way, but from that moment on, it seemed like he had it in for me. He would call me names and hit me whenever he saw me, taking pleasure in leading the rest of the guys in teasing sessions against me.
It was annoying, but kind of like a fly— not enough of a bother to do anything about. Until one day I finally socked him back good and hard when I’d had enough of him, and he started leaving me the fuck alone.
“I was wondering what had taken you so long to do that,” Harlow had remarked, while giving me a high five. “But I’m glad you finally did.”
“He was an annoying little bee I finally needed to swat away,” I’d responded, causing Harlow to laugh. “If he doesn’t watch it, I’ll have to squish him with my boot.”
So now, I was sure that the look of confusion on Harlow’s face must have brought those memories back, especially when he heard me invite everyone back to my cabin. He knew I didn’t like to be around people and was probably wondering why I’d do that.
The real truth was that I really didn’t want to spend any time with any of them. Except Michelle. In fact, she was the only reason I had invited any of them at all. I hadn’t really wanted to go to Darren’s cabin since I didn’t know them well anymore, and it was a strange place to me. I felt more comfortable in my own cabin.
I had wanted to only invite Michelle over. But, considering that I didn’t know her, and she had been traveling with their group, it would have seemed a bit odd for me to give her— a near complete stranger to me— an exclusive invitation to my house.
So, I took what I thought would be my best chance at spending time with her without having to go all the way to their house and feel strange as an outsider, by inviting all of them to my cabin. It was a big step for me, a reclusive loner, to take but, one that was necessary to be near Michelle more.
“We should definitely go to his cabin and not mine, right?” asked Darren, looking around at the group that he had come with.
“I really don’t think that we should,” Harlow said. “We’ve got some from our group still at the house waiting for us and it will be getting dark soon. Why don’t we just make our way back down through the woods to Darren’s cabin?” He had a worried look etched on his face as he looked around for the fastest path back to Darren’s and Hope’s place.
“It’ll be fine,” Monica weighed in. “Don’t be such a spoilsport.”
She threw arched eyebrows to Michelle, as if she was helping me out. Thanks, Monica, I thought, silently.
I really didn’t understand what all the debate was about. It seemed fine when the plan had been to hike all the way back to Darren’s cabin. Why did it seem like they were hesitant to come back to my cabin? It was a lot closer than the one that they were trying to go to.
I looked over at Michelle, the only one who mattered, to so see what she might have been thinking. I couldn’t tell from her face, but we did lock eyes a couple of times, only for her to look away shyly. I would have given anything to find out what she was thinking in that moment.
“I think we should go,” she said, her eyes traveling over to lock onto mine.
“See?” Monica said. “That’s two votes for yes.”
“Fine,” Harlow agreed.
I was smiling because my plan had worked. They were going to hang out at my cabin, which would give me more time with Michelle. Maybe I could even find a way to sneak her off for a private quickie.
I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was incredibly beautiful. Her lovely eyes, stunning smile, and curvy body seemed to pale in comparison to the kind but strong person she was on the inside. I was determined to make her mine, even if I only had a few hours with her.