Jill was taking inventory of her body at the moment. It had been used and abused in a delicious way she hadn’t felt in way too long.
Maybe never quite like this.
She didn’t even think she had it in her to let go that much. Or to even voice what she wanted. She’d never done that before, especially with Darren. He’d been sensitive and always had to take control when they were in the bedroom.
But she was sick and tired of keeping everything locked away, and starting fresh meant being someone she always wanted to be.
It seemed Owen liked that a whole lot.
“Can you move a bit? You’re kind of heavy,” she asked.
He grunted and flopped over, so she took that moment to suck in some much-needed air. She was pretty sure she was holding her breath there for a few minutes while the pressure built so high and tight. Enough that she might have come close to passing out, unless that was from the orgasm because it’d been stronger than ever before too.
“Where are you going?” she asked when he sat up in bed.
“To the bathroom,” he said.
“I’ll join you,” she said. He frowned and she reminded him, “Shower. You said we were going to shower together.”
“I said in the morning.” He reached his hand down and pulled her up to stand next to him though.
“We can do that too,” she said.
He laughed and they walked to her bathroom. He took care of the condom while she turned the water on. “Shower or bath?” she said.
He looked at her small tub. “Shower. I won’t fit in that.”
“True. Do you have a bigger one at your house?” He hesitated and she said, “Don’t take it any way other than curiosity for another time. If we get to that.” She hoped she kept the hurt out of her voice.
“I do have a bigger one.” That was something, that he answered her.
“Then sometime in the future, maybe if you’re ready then, we can try it out. But until then, we can handle the shower.”
They climbed in together and he showed her exactly what it meant to have the best sex of her life because sex came in all forms and Owen showed her how good his hands and mouth really worked.
She was right. Best. Night. Of. Her. Life.
***
The next morning, Jill rolled out of bed earlier than she wanted to, but she knew darn well Owen would have to get up and leave so he could change before he picked up Luke. She figured he wouldn’t be showing up in a wrinkled suit at his parents’ house.
They hadn’t talked all that much after they made their way out of the shower and fell into an exhausted slumber. Nor did they say any words when his hands were roaming all over her body waking her up again in the middle of the night.
But the unspoken thoughts were there that he still had to get home to his son and he was trying to juggle both of them. She was thankful he was trying to at least fit her in there.
“You don’t need to get up,” he said when she was standing.
“I’ll go put the coffee on and make us some breakfast. I know you’ll have to go soon.”
“Kicking me out?” he asked.
“No, but it’s seven already. By the time you eat and drive home, change...”
He sat up. “True.”
“How hungry are you?” she asked.
“Starving. Maybe not for food though,” he said, reaching for her.
“Too bad,” she said. “I’m starving for food. You’ll have to think of another way to wear me out next time,” she said, giggling and walking out of the room.
It wasn’t meant to put any pressure on him. She wouldn’t regret the night they just had together at all, but she was going to let him know she wouldn’t jump every time he reached for her.
“I guess,” he said, sighing, but he was smiling at the same time, so she ran into the bathroom fast, brushed her teeth and then made her way to the kitchen.
She was just pouring coffee into a mug for him when he walked in dressed in his pants and shirt. If he looked extremely sexy all rumpled, she was fighting from saying that, because she knew darn well he’d reach for her again and she was terrified of falling into any weak ways.
“Do you like pancakes?” she asked.
“Doesn’t everyone?” he said back, leaning down and kissing her softly, then deepening it until she found herself clinging to him tightly. He sure could make her mind get sidetracked in a hurry with just a kiss.
“Have a seat and it will just be a few minutes,” she said.
Once breakfast was done, she put the plate on the table and sat next to him. Her apartment was pretty tiny. Just a small kitchen with a table between that and the living room. She had a tiny patio, then her bedroom and bath.
“How long have you lived here?” he asked.
“Four years.”
“So, after your divorce?” he asked.
“Yes. Since it was just me, I didn’t need a lot of space. We’d had a bigger apartment with two bedrooms, one that Darren used as an office for schoolwork before. He kept it and I moved here.”
“Is he still there?” he asked.
“No. He bought a house.”
“Here in Clifton Park?” he asked. She wasn’t sure what all the questions were about.
“Yes. We grew up here. He’s got a nice new house in one of the developments that just went up.”
Owen just nodded and if he detected any bitterness in her voice, he didn’t comment on it. She was trying to hide it, but it seemed that Darren had or was getting all those things they talked about having together for years when they were married and planning their future.
“I never thought I’d end up back in Saratoga again. Least of all on the same street as my parents.”
“I’m sure it’s convenient for Luke, though.”
“It is. Not my first choice, but it’s a nice area. My parents’ house is really too big for them now, but I’ve got two younger sisters, and it didn’t seem like a lot of house back then. Now they’d never move.”
“How big is your house?” she asked. She was thinking if it’s in the area he grew up in, then it couldn’t be new.
“Three bedrooms, three bathrooms, living room, dining room, office, big kitchen. Basic and enough for us for now.”
“Do you plan on staying there?”
“No clue. For the foreseeable future, it’s where I’ll be. The house is in good shape and had been renovated for the most part before I bought it. It didn’t need a lot of work other than some paint when I moved in, which is good since I don’t have all that much time. There’s more yard than I’m used to, and though Luke loves it, I wasn’t so fond of the maintenance of it this summer. I’m glad there’s no need to mow now.”
“You could just hire someone to do it,” she said, surprised he did it himself.
“I could, but it was quiet time for me. And Luke likes it, so we did it together. Or did some things together. It’s worth it for that alone, even if it did eat up several hours on the weekend.”
“That’s sweet,” she said.
He finished up his pancakes pretty fast and she was trying not to be hurt that he seemed to be rushing to leave now. He’d started this conversation, but maybe she shouldn’t have pried as much.
“That I do my own lawn work?”
“No, that as much as you don’t want to do it, you do anyway so you can have that bonding time with your son.”
“Like I said, Luke is my world. He has to come first.”
“I get it, Owen. You don’t need to remind me.”
He pushed back from his chair and grabbed his keys, but pulled her forward and kissed her hard. “The thing is, I don’t know what I want anymore. What needs to come first, second, last or if it can all be equal. I just know that last night was something I’d been waiting for and as much as I want to go get my son, I don’t want to leave you either.”
Her heart was racing. She’d love to say “Stay and be with me today” but she’d never put that kind of pressure or guilt on him.
She wouldn’t make him choose.
She’d done that with Darren and he didn’t choose her. She couldn’t handle that happening again, so she wouldn’t even voice that option.
“Then go home and be with your son and if you get a minute later today, you can send me a text or give me a call. If you don’t, then know I’m thinking of you and can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
He nodded his head, kissed her quickly and left. When he didn’t call or text her at all during the day or that night, she told herself not to cry and not to let it bother her. She’d see how he was at work before she let her emotions get the best of her.