A few days before Christmas, Owen was in his room wrapping gifts when Luke knocked on his door. He’d thought Luke was sleeping since he’d gone to bed over an hour ago.
“Hang on, buddy.” He shoved everything under the bed fast and unlocked the door. “What’s wrong? Don’t you feel good?”
“I’m fine.” Luke looked around the room like he was trying to figure out what was going on and unfortunately Owen had no choice but to let Luke in since it seemed he wanted to talk.
Once in a while this would happen. Luke would come in and say he couldn’t sleep and want to spend the night in Owen’s bed. Since it didn’t happen often, he didn’t say no.
Luke climbed on Owen’s bed and then said, “Are you mad at me?”
“Not at all. Why would you even think that?”
“Because you’re quiet and you’re never quiet with me. And you seem sad.”
It was amazing his five-year-old son picked up on Owen’s change in behavior when he’d been trying so hard to hide it. He guessed he wasn’t doing that great of a job hiding anything lately.
“Sometimes people just have bad days. It’s nothing more than that, Luke. I’m fine.”
“Do you miss Jill?”
Luke had only met Jill twice. The first time was dinner at his parents and video games after and then the following weekend the three of them took in a movie and went to dinner. By the time they’d returned home, it was late and they played a board game with Luke going straight off to bed the minute the game was done.
“I do.”
“Are you mad at her?” He’d forgotten Luke could ask a million questions.
“I’m not going to talk to you about my relationship with Jill,” he said. That would be pushing things too much, even if Luke was more perceptive than he’d thought.
“Then it has to be me,” Luke said, his bottom lip trembling and tears starting to build.
“No. I told you I’m not mad or upset with you at all. Why are you thinking that?” He reached his hand out and laid it on Luke’s. Luke didn’t always like to be pulled in for a hug.
Luke blinked a few times, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and Owen felt like he kicked a puppy.
“Because you weren’t sad like this before, and then I met Jill and now you are. It’s something I did or said to her, isn’t it?”
“Not at all,” Owen said, pulling Luke in and hugging his little body next to his, not caring if Luke didn’t want it. Owen needed the hug, so he was giving it.
He should have thought of all of this before he introduced Jill and Luke to each other.
Then again, he didn’t expect this to happen weeks ago. He thought he had something in the making with Jill. Something special.
He was wrong. She was wrong. They’d both made mistakes, but the problem was they couldn’t fix them. She was pretty much avoiding him at all costs.
“I want you to be happy again, Daddy,” Luke said sniffling against his shirt.
“I will be, bud. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little quiet or sad. It has absolutely nothing to do with you at all. Everything I do, I do for you. I want you happy and I want you to know I’ll do everything I can to make that happen.”
“If you do everything for me, then I’m making you sad,” Luke all but wailed.
Owen frowned wondering what Luke was talking about. “I don’t understand.”
“You just said you do everything for me, but whatever you’re doing it’s making you sad, so it is me. Do something for you. Do something so you’re happy like you used to be.”
Sometimes a kid’s logic was the best logic of all.
“I’ll try, bud. Don’t worry about me though. But you know what? You’re pretty smart because that is great advice.”
The next morning, Owen got up, showered, and dressed, leaving Luke sound asleep in his bed. He was drinking his coffee when his mother walked in the front door.
“He’s in my bed when you go wake him.”
“Did he have a rough night?” his mother asked, sympathy spreading across her face.
“Not really. Or not like you’d think. He’s worried about me.”
He hadn’t wanted to say that to his mother knowing that it would be like taking a stick to the beehive again.
“You have been a touch crabby lately. I’m sure he’s sensed it. Kids are smarter than we think. Is there trouble in paradise with you and Jill?”
He snorted. “It’s hardly been paradise.” Not most of the time.
Only when they were alone. When he was thinking of her. When she made him smile. Then it felt like paradise.
“You shouldn’t compare all your relationships to the one you had with Ashley.”
“I’m not.” That thought never crossed his mind.
“Then what is it?”
“I’m putting Luke first. I didn’t want anyone at work to know Jill and I were dating. She was fine with it. She said she was. I brought her home to meet you guys. I introduced her to Luke. I’m not making a secret out of it.”
“No, I would think not. If she knows you well, then she’d know it had to take a lot for you to bring her around Luke.”
“I think she knows that.” She admitted as much, but was it just lip service? Was it just her putting a good front on like she always did?
“So then what is it? What do her parents think?” his mother asked.
“She hasn’t told them yet. She said if she did, they’d want to know who I was and it’d get around to people and then back to work.”
“So her parents are gossips?”
“I have no clue. I didn’t get that feeling.”
Now that he thought about it, it was more likely that Darren might find out, her friends, and then it’d get around to her job. But if she wasn’t talking to Darren anymore like she said...
“Maybe you should ask her?”
“She won’t talk to me.”
“Then something more had to have happened,” his mother said, lifting her eyebrow.
“She found out about my promotion before it was announced. She accused me of not saying anything to her, of hiding our relationship so it didn’t hinder my promotion.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Yes and no.”
His mother put her hands on her hips. “Well, what is it? Is that why you didn’t want anyone to know?”
“At first, yes. But that was over a month ago. Then Jill and I got close and I knew the announcement was coming and I just figured what was another week or so. We’ve only been together a few months. I still have to put my job and Luke first.”
His mother shook her head. “You’re smart, Owen. Think about how stupid that sounds.”
There was nothing he could say back because his mother walked out of the room and turned the TV on and shut him out.
With nothing else left to do, he finished getting ready and drove to work hoping to see Jill’s car in the parking lot.
It wasn’t. But he was earlier than normal too.
By the time he saw her walking down the hall, she was already ushering patients to the room for their tests and he’d lost his chance.
For hours she walked back and forth past his office, ignoring him in the hall when he tried to get her attention, and he was giving up hope. The fact that she didn’t respond to his text when he asked if they could talk at lunchtime just pushed him over the edge.
When he knew she was done with patients, he went in search of her, finding her sitting in the break room with a few other staff eating and talking.
Without thinking. Without talking. Without missing a beat. He walked over to her, pulled her up and kissed her hard in front of everyone. There were some gasps, one of them being Jill’s, as she melted against him.
He pushed her back, saw the glazed look in her eyes and said, “Maybe now you’ll talk to me.” Then he walked out of the room and went back to his office.