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Hot Mess (Into The Fire Series Book 4) by J.H. Croix (6)

Susannah

The cheery bell jingled above the door as Ward opened it, holding it open and gesturing me through. The familiarity of the space eased the jumble of tension in my thoughts. Firehouse Café had been around as long as I could remember. I glanced around as we walked in, reflexively checking to see if anyone I knew was here. Not that it would be particularly inappropriate for me to be seen with Ward. Spending time with any one of the guys on my crew would be perfectly normal.

Yet, I felt restless inside, anxious my attraction to him would somehow be blatantly obvious to anyone who knew me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw no one other than Janet James, the owner of the café and a close friend of my parents. She was busy waiting on customers at the counter. There were a few passing acquaintances at the tables, but no one close to me. My tension eased slightly.

Ward started to approach the counter, but I nudged him with my elbow. “Someone will come take our order if we grab a table,” I explained.

He nodded and followed me as I aimed straight for a table in the far back corner. Firehouse Café was aptly named as it was housed in the original fire station for Willow Brook. The original garage had been renovated into a warm and inviting café with an open kitchen and dining counter to one side and tables to the other. Janet had stained the old concrete floor a soft blue color and had rugs scattered about amongst the tables. The space was decorated brightly with painted fireweed flowers on the pole from the upper quarters and artwork from local artists on the walls. The space had a cheerful, relaxed feel to it.

I sat down in the corner, shrugging my jacket off my shoulders and glancing over to Ward as he slipped into the chair across from me. A factor I hadn’t considered when I suggested this place was how small the tables were. As I shifted in my chair, my knees bumped into his. That subtle, glancing touch sent a hot jolt through me. I looked over, about to reflexively apologize, and my mouth went dry. He was maybe two feet away across the table, his smoky gaze locked to mine.

Ward was not a man who had a problem with direct eye contact. I had to look away, if only because I was getting hot all over and could feel my cheeks flushing. I almost sighed out loud in relief when Janet approached our table.

“Hey there, Zanna,” she said, using a nickname only she and a few other friends and family members called me.

I glanced up with a smile, meeting her bright brown eyes. She had a warm, motherly air to her, although she wasn’t a soft person. She’d been running this place on her own for years after her husband died. She had nerves of steel and was resourceful as hell. She also had a heart gigantic enough to encompass just about the whole world.

Her eyes flicked from me to Ward. “Well hello there, Ward. Nice to see you again.”

He nodded, a slight smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Janet was rather irresistible. If anyone could nudge Ward out of being his usual reserved self, Janet could. It wasn’t as though that was what she set out to do, it was simply the effect she had on everyone.

“I hope you’re settling in nicely here,” she added.

Ward’s smile stretched to the other corner of his mouth, sending my belly into a tailspin of flutters.

“So far, so good,” he commented. His eyes bounced to me. “So Zanna?” he asked, a gleam in his eyes.

Janet chuckled, and I threw an eye roll in her direction. “That’s Janet’s nickname for me. Not many people use it,” I offered.

Ward’s eyes didn’t lose their glint, and I sensed he would be using that nickname. A little flash of heat scored through me. Only people close to me used that name. I didn’t know what to think.

I’d tucked Ward away in a compartment in my mind. Even though I’d been quite intimate with him, I never thought I’d see him again. Even though I could never forget that one night. To have him here, colliding with my world on levels I’d never considered… Well, it was disconcerting to say the least.

I was relieved to have Janet carry on asking Ward a few questions about settling into Willow Brook. I knew how perceptive she was, so it was unlikely she missed the tension between Ward and me. After checking in, she got right to business. “What’ll it be tonight?”

“I’ll take a salmon burger and sweet potato fries. Do you want to see a menu?” I asked, catching Ward’s eyes.

“No need. I’ll take the same. Sounds good to me.”

“Anything to drink?” Janet asked.

For a second, I was about to order a glass of wine and then remembered I was pregnant. Oh my God. I didn’t mind not having a glass of wine, but I was so out of my realm. “No thanks. Just water for me.”

Ward eyed me. “You sure?”

“Oh yeah. Long day, and I’m thirsty.”

He ordered a beer, and Janet moved along when someone called her name. He leaned back in his chair, resting one hand on his thigh and an elbow hooked over the back of his chair.

My eyes were drawn to his hand dangling off the chair. Even relaxed, he exuded strength. His hands carried a few scars. As my eyes tracked their way up across the muscled planes of his chest and his shoulders, I couldn’t help but notice his clothes did practically nothing to hide his form. My memory of his body was fresh—of how he felt, every inch of him honed by the hard life and rugged strength required of him as a hotshot firefighter.

My eyes landed on his, at which point I blushed from head to toe. He had that heated look in his gaze again, his eyes considering. What he said next startled me.

“I lied.”

“Huh?” was my brilliant response.

His lips quirked, his eyes glinting again and sending my belly into another little tizzy.

I scrambled and forced myself to be somewhat coherent. “About what?”

Wow. I managed two complete words this time.

“Saying I’d forget that first night ever happened and then the next one. I can’t and I won’t,” he said bluntly, his gaze sliding down from my face over my breasts and back up.

He might as well have touched me. My nipples puckered tight to an ache almost instantly at the burn from his gaze. A waiter conveniently stopped by to deliver my water and Ward’s beer at that moment. I grabbed it and gulped the water down immediately before handing it back. “I could use a refill.”

The waiter, a high school kid, gave me a wide-eyed look, but he was quick to recover. He lifted the pitcher of water on his tray and refilled my glass quickly. “Anything else?” he asked.

At the shake of my head, he left, promising to bring our food as soon as it was ready. Ward’s gaze had never left me, and I felt hot all over. I took another sip of my water, this time somewhat controlled, and set it down. “Well, you’re going to have to forget about it,” I finally said.

The intensity of Ward’s gaze deepened as he shook his head slowly. “I don’t have to do anything.” He took a drag of his beer as he considered me. “Why are you lying?”

“I’m not lying.”

“You’re acting like you can forget about it. I don’t believe you,” he said flatly.

Okay, I didn’t really know where Ward was going with this, but if we were going to have a face the truth moment, I figured I might as well get with the program fast. I took a deep breath and blurted out the truth.

“I’m pregnant.”

I couldn’t say I was pleased, but at least for once, I had actually shaken Ward’s composure. His eyes widened and his head actually went back a little, almost as if I’d punched him verbally.

He gave his head a little shake, his eyes narrowing. “What?” he asked, that single word crisp and clear.

My cheeks were hot, but I doubled down. I didn’t back down once I was halfway through something. I was a rip-the-band-aid-off kind of girl. “Just what I said. I’m pregnant.”

He took a drag on his beer, guzzling almost half of it. Setting it down with careful deliberation, his hand still curled around it, he cocked his head to the side. “I’m guessing you’re going to tell me I’m the only man you’ve been with in the last month or so.”

Anger flashed inside. “Look, I don’t know what the hell you think of me, but I don’t usually do what I did with you. In fact, you’re the only man I’ve ever just...” My words sputtered.

“Fucked so hard we almost set each other on fire,” he offered grimly.

His words sent another flash of heat through me, this one desire. It collided with my anger like gas to a flame. I took a deep breath, trying to gather myself inside.

“I’m not seeing anyone, and you’re the only man I’ve had sex with in the last year.” I paused, annoyed I’d let it slip how little sex there was in my life. But hell, this was already a hot mess, so I’d have to get over it. “There’s only one man who could be the father, and it’s you. Don’t go blaming this on me. We used protection.”

“Damn straight. I know we did,” he said flatly. “What the fuck happened?”

I was relieved he didn’t cling to the idea I might’ve been with someone else. He seemed to have moved past it quickly, but then Ward was a no bullshit kind of guy.

I leaned my elbows on the table, running my hands through my hair and then resting my chin on one hand and twirling a loose lock of hair around my finger.

“Well, nothing is one-hundred percent, except not having sex,” I offered.

Ward took another drag of his beer, his gaze somber as he nodded slowly. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but I’d been prepared for him to tell me to fuck off. Not that I had any basis for that expectation. He seemed shocked, but he didn’t seem angry, and for that, I was relieved.

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