CHAPTER TWENTY
Tatum
“You look like you had a good time over the weekend.”
I can’t hide the blush and smile that light up my face as I see Addie for the first time since Remy dropped me off at work this morning. Thank God I only worked half a day, because avoiding Cash took everything I had. Every time he looked at me, I felt like he could see right through me. I climb into her car, doing my best to keep as much cool as I can before we drive off. As soon as we make it down the street, away from both shops, I let out the girliest scream ever. “It was absolutely amazing!”
She turns to me, her eyes shining with laughter. “I’m excited for you and so happy that the two of you got to spend time together.”
There’s a part of me that knows what she’s getting at. She wants to know if we did the deed, and I also know if I want to tell her, now is the time. We both have appointments with Christine to get our hair done today, and since her husband and brother are members of Heaven Hill, we probably want to get our gossiping done before we go in. I sigh, but instead of being conflicted, it’s happy – happier than I’ve been in a long time. “It was one of the best weekends of my life.”
“So how was it?” she asks slowly, a smirk crossing her face.
There are few times when she looks like Tyler, because she’s adopted, but in this moment, she looks exactly like him with a sly smile. It makes me do a double take. How do I explain how it was? How do I put into words the way he made me feel? It’s hard, but I try.
“Like it should have been the first time.” And that’s really the way I feel. I should have waited for him – waited for someone who truly cared for me. “He was so sweet, patient, hot as fuck, and everything I’ve ever wanted. I knew if we could get it together, it’d be mind-blowing, and it was. The way he kissed me, the way he touched me – just the way he did everything was perfect. It’s everything I had hoped it would be last year,” I admit softly. “And I wish I hadn’t pushed so hard, but I’m so thankful for where we are right now.”
“You live and learn, right?” Addie pulls her car into a parallel spot about a block down from Christine’s shop on the Square. “Nothing’s perfect all the time, and usually if it is, it isn’t real.”
“Our parents seem perfect,” I argue as I pull my jacket closer to my body. The almost-February wind is damn near frigid.
“I’m sure if we asked them, they would be honest. It feels like it’s perfect now, but I bet when their love was brand new, it wasn’t easy. You know my mom is a rape survivor. That couldn’t have been an easy thing for them to overcome.”
“And my mom had twins by another man, who were teenagers. Maybe you’re right.” I push my hands into my jacket pockets as we hurry down the sidewalk.
“See, I don’t think anybody had it perfect from the beginning. It’s how we learn to compromise with one another and accept the faults of our significant other that makes it perfect. They aren’t perfect people, but they’re perfect for us.”
“You’re so much like your dad that it’s scary Addie. You know you’re only eighteen-years-old, right? You aren’t supposed to have this much knowledge about the world and people. You’re supposed to be fucking up like the rest of us.”
I catch a flash of something across her face and in her eyes, but it’s gone before I can comment.
“Don’t worry, Tee. I’m fucking up enough for the both of us.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about, but before I can ask her, we get to Christine’s shop, and she opens the door for me. This time the smile plastered on her face isn’t sly, it’s fake, and I wonder what my best friend has been hiding from me. I make a mental note to corner her later and force it out of her.
“C’mon in ladies,” Christine welcomes us with a smile on her face.
Christine is the wife of Travis Steele, the communications/IT expert for Heaven Hill, and the sister of Jagger. She’s about as deep into Heaven Hill as you can get without being born into the fold. Not only is she an awesome person though and through, but she also does amazing hair, and lately she’s been taking chances with hers. I haven’t seen her in a month or so, and I squeal excitedly when I see the black and purple she’s got in her locks today.
“I love that!”
“Wanna do something like it?” She looks genuinely excited that I’ve asked about it.
“Maybe someday. I’m kind of scared to go with the colors of the rainbow.”
“Completely understandable, it’s not for everybody.” She shows us to two seats next to one another in the back of the salon. “Who wants to go first?”
“Tate can.” Addie points over at me. “She’s going dark.”
“Are you?” Christine puts a cape over me and starts running her fingers through my hair. “It has gotten lighter since the last time you were here.”
From where in my family I have no idea, because everyone has dark hair. I did too, until I messed with it last year and put some highlights in it. Now I want it to be completely dark again, so it looks like I’m going to have to fix the mistake I made. “I know.” I sigh. “I like the dark brown you put in it last time, but instead of all highlights, can we go with some darker lowlights this time, too?”
“Do you trust me?” She flips me around.
“You know I do. Work your magic, Christy.”
Walking over to the radio she has on the checkout counter, Addie starts some music while Christine starts mixing colors. “Can you cut some of this length off, too?”
“Yeah, you want it more like what you did last time?”
“Yup, but I feel like I’m in this horrible cycle where I’m trying to grow my bangs out, and it’s a commitment I can’t keep.”
“It’s definitely a commitment, that’s why I never cut bangs into my own hair. I know myself – I’m wishy washy.” Christine starts sectioning off portions of my hair and putting the color on. “So what are you two ladies doing tonight?”
“I think we’re gonna go hang out at the clubhouse, it’s been a while and Dad’s on my ass about it.” Addie has a seat beside me and crosses her legs. “He can’t stand when I don’t check in.”
“Tyler Blackfoot has to know everything that goes on,” I say as I deepen my voice, making fun of my dad’s best friend.
“Totally true.” Christine laughs at the two of us.
“He was giving me shit the other day, telling me I don’t come around enough since Tate and I moved into the apartment together and he almost forgot what I looked like.” She rolls her eyes. “And that Caelin is being extra douchey because I’m not around to knock him down a peg or two. Basically everything is my fault.” She grins.
“Okay, let’s be honest.” I shoot her a look. “Your little brother is douchey because he’s sixteen and looks like a man. I heard a rumor that him and a teacher got it on, and I don’t doubt that – at all.”
Behind me, Christine agrees. “I don’t either, he’s the spitting image of your dad.”
“My brother is too pretty and too manly for his own good. He got the best of each of our parents. I would kill to look like him.”
“Your gorgeous in your own way, Addison.” Christine’s voice is soft as my friend admits something I’ve never heard her say before.
“Yeah, I guess.” She shrugs. “But I’ll never look like them. Hell, I don’t know who I do look like.”
I’ve known Addie’s adopted since before I even knew what the word meant, but it’s never made a difference to me, the same way I know it’s never made a difference to her parents. “You’re exotic, Ad; you’ve got light eyes, olive skin, and the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen. It looks good literally every color. You’re perfect the way you are, so stop talkin’ trash about my best friend.”
She gives me a smile, but I can see something in her eyes – an uneasiness, an unhappiness. I go back to the words she spoke earlier about fucking up enough for the both of us and wonder if this has anything to do with it.
“Damn, Tate,” Christine gasps as she lifts the hair off my neck. “How hard did Remy suck on that piece of skin? Are those teeth marks?”
My face is flaming, and my best friend is hopping up from her chair and coming over to inspect. “Damn girl.” She gives me a high five.
“Can we please not talk about this?” I cover my face with my hands. “He did things to me I’m not sure I can ever talk about without going to hell.”
“But Tate, those are the best kind, baby.” Christine giggles behind me. “I’ve always wondered about him because he’s so quiet and so cute. Sometimes he gets this look of determination, and you wonder if that’s what he looks like as he’s going to town on a woman.”
“Christine!” I giggle. “I can’t believe you just said that!”
“What? He’s younger, but he’s not that much younger. He’s turned into a hottie. I mean, I’m married, but I can look.”
“He is pretty hot.” I bite my lip, eyes averting from the mirror where they’ve been gazing at the other two ladies, my thoughts going back to how I spent a portion of my weekend.
“Oh my God, look at her.” Addie fans my face. “You got it so bad, Tate, just admit it. You two are finally where you’re supposed to be.”
I’m afraid if I admit it to anyone besides us, we’ll lose it, but I do give her the benefit of nodding and a soft answer. “We are, and I’m happy.”
“That’s all anyone wants for you.” Christine finishes putting the color on my hair, before bringing me over to the dryer. “And maybe some concealer before your daddy sees that hickey and bite mark on your neck.”
The three of us laugh like teenagers at a slumber party, and for the first time I kinda feel like I’m part of a grown-up clique I’ve never been a part of before.
*
“Anybody else want anything?” I ask as Addie takes her spot in the chair.
My hair got done a few minutes ago, and I can’t help but run my fingers through it. It feels so much lighter than it had been, and it moves as I turn my hair. The color? I’m more than excited. I actually look like I belong in my family now. It’s darker with the lowlights and highlights we talked about, there’s dimension, and I can’t wait until I’m able to curl it or braid it, because different pieces will almost look like different colors.
“Hot chocolate.” Christine tries to hand me some money, but I wave her off.
“I got this. Want anything, Addie?”
“Apple tart if she’s still got any in the case.” She smacks her lips together. “Cause those things are divine.”
They are, I’ve had them before. “Be back in a bit.”
I’m nervous walking down to Harper’s shop. I feel as if the weekend I spent with Remy is written all over my face. I know it’s written all over my body. This morning when I’d gotten dressed I found love bites everywhere, even places I hadn’t known he’d worshiped me. Even though I’m basically covered from head to toe, except for what I missed on my neck, no one else besides the two of us knows how thoroughly I was loved. It’s my favorite secret.
“I’ll be right there.” I hear Harper’s voice as the bell over the door rings.
“It’s just me, Tatum,” I yell back, so that she doesn’t have to rush if she’s doing something important.
“Oh good, I’m running to the restroom, if you don’t mind holding down the fort. My afternoon help called in.” She peeks her head around the door leading to the back.
“No problem, take your time.”
“Are you down at Christine’s getting your hair done? I love the color!”
“Yeah.” I grin at the praise. “Addie’s getting hers done right now, but we wanted treats.”
“I got you covered, be right back.”
That wasn’t so bad. Not like we had an actual conversation, but when I think of Harper, I almost think of her as Remy’s mom, and it makes me nervous. I know they’re close. I want her to like me. I want to impress her, the same way he tries to impress my family. I’m sure she heard a shit ton about me after last year – part of the reason why I haven’t come around – but I want her to know I’ve changed.
A few minutes later she’s back behind the counter. “Thank you for watching it for me, some days I have to lock the door for a few minutes.”
“You have a very popular shop because your food is so good.”
“I’m thankful for it, but sometimes I just need it to turn off for an hour or so, ya know?”
I wonder if she and Cash have that talk with each other at night when they go home. Then I decide they probably spend time talking about things rather than work. “Yeah, nobody wants to think about work all the time.”
“What can I get for you ladies?”
“Christine wants a hot chocolate, Addie wants an Apple Tart, and I’ll take a cup of coffee and a piece of that chocolate cake.” I point to something that says Seven Deadly Sins in front of it. This kind of chocolate is right up my alley.
“Want ice cream with it?”
“Nah, too cold.” I glance outside the bakery, noticing most of the snow from the weekend has either melted or been worn away by the cars and foot traffic. They’re calling for more over the next few weeks though, and it’s definitely cold enough.
“I know, we haven’t had a cold snap like this in a while.” She boxes up the treats for me, but holds off on the hot drinks, and that’s when my stomach starts to flip.
I get the feeling she’s working up to something, only I’m in the dark and have no idea what.
“I don’t want you to think I’m speaking out of turn Tatum,” she finally speaks in the soft way she has. “But Remy’s special to me, and I have questions. He swears that what the two of you have is on the up and up now, that you’ve worked through your issues. Here’s the thing, I know Remy – he’s a fixer – and I want to make sure you haven’t let him do the fixing while you take him for a ride.”
Immediately I’m on the defensive, but I tell myself to control my Walker temper and behave like the adult I want this woman to see me as. That starts with taking a few deep breathes and chilling the fuck out.