KATE
The bus finally pulls up and I can see Weston leaning against his truck looking deliciously scrumptious. His hair is thrown into his signature messy man bun and he’s wearing the jeans I bought him- because I insisted it made his butt look good. What he doesn’t know is that I’m still beyond pissed at him for telling my news.
It wasn’t his to tell.
I’ve been screening his calls since I found out this was the last week I’d be dancing professionally with En Pointe Dance Company. And, while I wanted to hear his voice more than just about anything, I am not about to forgive him that easily.
The peacefulness also gave me clarity and time to think about my options. What did I really want to do with my life since touring and dancing professionally were going to soon be out of the question?
The bus doors open and I let all the other members climb from their seats and exit first. I take my sweet time, letting him squirm with impatience.
It takes me a long time before I finally step off the bus and into the shining, warm Boston sun. Weston’s infectious smile falters when he sees the look in my eyes. For good reason; I intend to make him work for my forgiveness.
“Kate...” He clears his throat. “Is everything--”
But I don’t let him finish his question. I walk past him waving off his words as I climb into the front seat. “I’m fine. The baby’s fine. Can we go home now?”
He stands, frozen in place, obviously not expecting my brush-off. In our eight years of being together, never once have I brushed him off like he didn’t matter and, while it hurts me to do it- because he does matter, more than anything- I need a little time to get over how he basically single-handedly ruined my career by opening his big, fat, delicious mouth.
He climbs into the driver side and looks me up and down, not speaking a word. In fact, the entire ride home, neither of us say anything.
WESTON
Kate slams the front door behind her and I cringe. This wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined her homecoming to be. She’s pissed, that much I can tell, but she hasn’t let me in on why.
“Kate--”
“Not now, Weston.” She stomps up the stairs and very loudly closes our bedroom door behind her. Her dance bag is still laying at the bottom of the last step and I pick it up, carrying it upstairs for her. It is a lot heavier than she originally had let on.
I gently ease the master bedroom door open before peeking my head in and hearing the water in the bathroom running. Seeing that she’s not in sight gives me enough time to begin putting away her belongings and start a load of laundry with her dirty clothes.
Once that’s done, I can’t take it any longer. I can’t stand the silent treatment; it’s fucking killing me.
“Kate?” I tap lightly on the bathroom door.
“What do you want, Wes?” Her voice sounds defeated and my heart lurches, slowly chipping away at the tough exterior I prefer to exude. I gently push the door open and it takes my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the lighting of the candles strewn around her bubble bath.
I walk to her and sit on the edge of the tub, not caring that I will undoubtedly get a little wet. I bring her hand to mine and I look into her eyes, imploring her to hear every word.
“Katie, please talk to me. I love—”
“How could you, Wes?” Her voice is weak, yet in those few words, still manages to carry so much anger.
What did I do now? My mouth falls open, but no words come out. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to be answering for.
“How could you just blurt out that I was pregnant, knowing that I most likely wouldn’t be alone?”
Oh. That’s what I did.
Shit.
“I-I didn’t think about it.” I stutter, and I know how pathetic that sounds. All the pieces of the puzzle are beginning to fall into place as I mentally go over the timeline of events and the last time I’d spoken to her. It suddenly clicks. Something isn’t right. “What happened, babe?”
Her face softens and I see a look of pure sadness overwhelm her features. Tears well in her eyes and I want to comfort, her but she isn’t having it. “The company dropped me. My contract has been dissolved.”
“Fuck.” I let go of her hand and stand up, complete frustration skyrocketing through me. I run my fingers throughout my hair, muttering expletives under my breath.
What the fuck did I do?
KATE
I can see the anger in his body language as he paces back and forth beside the bathtub. It’s easy to see that he feels like shit. But would I be a terrible person to be happy that I wasn’t feeling it alone?
Having the rug pulled out from beneath you and having your dreams being taken away, well, it’s a terrible feeling. I’ve worked so hard for this- countless hours since high school- training and pushing myself to become the best fucking ballerina I can be. Now that that’s off the table, I don’t have a clue what to do with my damn life. Dancing kept me sane, calm even. Well, more calm than I am without.
Since Mr. Pernaud dropped that bomb, I almost feel as if I’ve been in a trance and it was only when I was back within breathing distance of Weston that the fog slowly began to lift.
“He said he refused to risk my life or the baby’s by allowing me to continue the rigorous training schedule of a principle.” I see Wes’ eyes darken as he stops his pacing and looks at me. “He recommended I retire.”
“Fuck.”
That’s the only thing Wes has really been able to say since we began this conversation. I almost feel as if I can see his brain working a mile a minute.
I close my eyes, focusing on the lavender scented bubbles surrounding me, easing the aching of my muscles. It feels incredible and I can already feel some of the tension in my shoulders dissipate. I hear mild shuffling in the background, but I choose to block it out.
When the water ripples, my eyes snap open to meet his beautiful green orbs. I make space for him as he climbs into the bathtub with me, his rock hard abs glistening as he gradually slips into the water. Desire wells in the base of my stomach and I get this overwhelming urge to fuck him, even though my anger is still there.
He pulls me into his arms, my breasts resting against his chest. No barriers, just us, skin on skin.
God, I missed this.
“I’m sorry I was the cause of this change. I wasn’t aware others were around and I never thought about the repercussions that would come once the company found out about our baby.” His eyes are filled with sadness and I instantly feel bad about being so upset with him. I know he wouldn’t do anything to purposely hurt me and I also know that he’s the biggest supporter of my dance career. He wouldn’t have said anything had he known it would be a detriment to me in any way. “But either way, Kate, it was coming.”
I close the distance between our lips, knowing that, once again, he’s right. He teases my bottom lip and I giggle as our tongues meet in a dance of passion, love, and need. I can’t help the moan that escapes me when I feel his length hardening beneath me.
I reach down, gently caressing his shaft as I ease him to my entrance. “I need you.” I purr and he grips my hips as I slide inch by inch over his length. My breathing is becoming erratic and when I look deep into his eyes, I can tell that even with that small movement, we’re both close. It’s been too long for either of us and now that he’s finally inside me, the sensations are too much for either of us to bear.
I can’t move, so instead he takes the lead and sucks one of my pert nipples into his mouth. I moan, arching my back to give him easier access as he sucks, licks, and kneads my sensitive breasts.
It’s too much. I put my hand on his chest and gently push him back, halting him in his process.
“Keep that up and I’ll be done before we start.” I pant, and he chuckles deeply. His hands rest on my butt cheeks and he brings his forehead to mine, neither of us needing or wanting to move.
WESTON
I pull out from within her and stand. I reach my hand out to her, grasping her small, delicate hand in mine before pulling her to her feet.
“Let’s go somewhere a little more comfortable, love.”
She smiles as I step out of the tub, water dripping from both of our bodies. I lift her into my arms, her legs wrapping firmly around my waist and her arms around my neck. I hold her by her perfectly toned ass as I walk her into our room and place her on the bed, amidst various pillows and blankets.
“Wes, we’re dripping wet.”
“And your point?” I climb on top of her, resting between her spread legs, my forearms holding me securely above her.
Her eyes slightly widen before her beautiful smile makes an appearance and her words fizzle out into midair. “I-uh-nevermind.”
“That’s a first.” I laugh, reaching my fingers into her slick folds and teasing her lightly, a satisfied sigh leaving her lips. The pad of my thumb rubs her clit and she begins to make a breathy purr, the very one that has the ability to undo me altogether.
I smash our lips together briefly before kissing my way down her body, stopping to lay some soft butterfly kisses on her growing stomach where my child resides. Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking nervous to be a dad, but I can’t wait to finally hold our baby in my arms for the first time.
I push those excited thoughts away as Kate begins to squirm with restlessness beneath me. I reach her spread thighs and remove my fingers completely before replacing them with my mouth.
I slide my tongue up her center, lapping up the remainder of her desire. I suck her clit between my teeth and I have to hold her waist still to keep her from bucking with need. Her breathing comes in short gasps and I know she is close to her release. I can feel it and I know that feeling like the back of my hand.
I suck harder, faster.
“Come for me, Katie.” I growl, hearing her moaning get louder and louder with each passing second. Her body abruptly stills as her walls spasm around my tongue, releasing her sweet, succulent juices.
Spent and tired, her eyelids flutter while I climb up beside her, pulling her into my arms. After the week she had, it’s not a surprise that she’s exhausted both physically and mentally.
“What about you?” she asks, struggling to keep her eyes from closing.
“This isn’t about me, my love.” I kiss her forehead. “Get some sleep.”
“Mmm..” she mumbles in response before drifting off into a peaceful slumber.
~*~
KATE
“You’re where?” Jazzy asks, her voice loud enough that any random passerby would think I had my phone on speaker.
“You heard me.”
“I always wanted to get one of those 3D ultrasounds done with the twins, but we decided to wait for our regular appointment since it was covered by our insurance. You know how much it costs to put twin boys through college?”
“They are only five, Jazz. You have more than enough time to save.” She continues as if I hadn’t said anything and I roll my eyes, listening to her rant continue.
“We’re talking at least 90K and that’s if they go to random community colleges. Universities or private colleges, don’t even get me started. We’re looking in the 440k range for the both of them.” She breathes deeply. “I was telling John that we need to take out life insurance for ourselves, in case we end up dying homeless on the street. At least the boys would gain something from our deaths. You—”
“Dear God, Jazzy. You are too much. Calm your ass down.” I laugh, listening to her panting because of how quickly she was speaking.
“You’re right. Now’s not the time. We can have this conversation when we’re planning your child’s college career.”
“I look forward to it.” I say sarcastically.
“Kate Benson.” A lady in normal business-casual attire says through a cracked door.
“Sorry Jazz, I have to go.”
“Good luck, bitch.” She giggles. I smile before hanging up.
I walk into a very relaxed room that looks nothing like the typical medical room where my first ultrasound was done. This one looks very similar to a photo studio, with happy family photos hanging on the wall and very upscale furniture. Off to the side sits a black leather reclining table with a beige throw pillow sitting on top. Beside it is a gray desk with various screens and medical equipment set up neatly attached to a projector.
The sonographer instructs me to sit on the table and goes over a brief explanation of what’s going to happen. I can feel so much excitement and so much fear at the same time and it kind of makes me regret not telling Weston about it. I could have used his support, but I also know it’s going to be so much more special if I surprise him with it.
“Wanna place your bets now?” The technician smiles as she pulls my shirt above my midsection and preps my stomach, squirting it with a warm, clear gel.
“Nah, I don’t think so. I just want him or her to be healthy.” I say, feeling more emotional than I had just seconds ago. I’ve come to terms with the fact that, despite my past choice, I’m going to be a mother. I was given a second chance and everything in me is screaming to just enjoy it- to stop being fearful of every part.
Today isn’t just about finding out the gender of my child. For me it’s also about moving forward and bonding with him or her. That’s something I’ve been terrified to do, because I was just so sure something was going to go wrong.
“Okay then, here we go.” she says, hitting a switch, the lights going out. The only glow we see is from her screen, projecting the images on the wall in front of me.
The baby becomes much clearer and the lady begins baby talking to my stomach as she moves the cursor around snapping images of everything- its adorably long legs that must come from Wes because, let’s face it, I’m tiny and he’s a giant; its profile and cute button nose as it sucks its little thumb into its mouth, and its beautiful little face. My gosh, how overwhelming is this?
She plays the heartbeat for me twice and it all hits me like a freight train. I feel it. The connection between me and the child that’s growing within me, is there. I tried to be strong and keep my heart out of the mix, but this little one wouldn’t let me.
This baby is part of me and Weston; a perfect combination of the both of us. We made this.
No. Our love made this baby and, as silly as it sounds, maybe it was that love that made this even a remote possibility.
I’m not as religious as my parents tried to make me growing up, but maybe God saw how much we loved each other and how much love we had to give and decided to forgive me for what I’d done. It can be the only explanation.
“And...” The sonographer smiles wide for a moment before she rotates the camera and her face falls. My heart and stomach plummets and a whirlwind of fears come crashing back into me like a wrecking ball. I already had tears in my eyes from happiness but now they’re being replaced with those of desperation. I close my eyes and silently pray that my child is okay. I can handle anything but the alternative.
Dear God, please don’t hurt my baby. It’s all I can repeat in my head over and over.
When I open my eyes again, there’s a man in the room assisting the woman with the imaging. They don’t say anything to me, just whisper back and forth, their glances being cast furtively in my direction off and on again.
“What’s happening? What’s going on?” I can feel my heart rate rising and my breathing coming out in short rasps, but they still don’t say anything.
Why didn’t I let Weston come with me?
“Calm down, Miss Benson.” The woman rests her hand on top of mine and it’s doing nothing to help me calm down, but I applaud her for her minimal effort. “This stress isn’t good for you or your daughter.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
She bites her lip, realizing she’d ruined the surprise for me, but I don’t care. I’m not mad and I’m not furious. I’m terrified. I just want her to be okay.
“How is she? How is my baby girl?”
She looks back at the man still studying the sonogram before her gray eyes meet mine. “Your child is perfectly fine. I know that for certain.”
I breathe a sigh of relief that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in. “Then, what’s wrong?” I ask, quirking my eyebrow. I can feel my heart rate and breathing slowly return to normal, but it doesn’t lower the amount of questions that my mind seems to be formulating.
The man clears his throat before speaking up. “Miss Benson, we can’t be certain until tests are run, but it looks as if you have a mass growing on the surface of your cervix.” He begins showing me the blur on the ultrasound screen, but for the life of me, I can’t understand what he’s saying. “I would be more than happy to refer you to our sister doctor who can run more tests and clear up some of the questions you may have.”
“Okay. Can you tell me one thing? Is my daughter healthy?”
“Everything is looking spot on, Miss Benson. I can assure you that.”
I smile and blink away my tears of relief. Frankly, at this time, that’s really all I needed to know. The rest I will deal with later. Right now, nothing else is important.
~*~
Weston is due home any minute now and I’m scared and so excited to tell him about our little girl. After I left the ultrasound studio, I drove to one of the small baby boutiques deep in the heart of Boston. I’d gone there when Jazzy was pregnant with her boys and fell completely in love with everything the store carried.
I browsed for about an hour, but when I stumbled across the perfect items, I knew I’d found all I had needed. I rushed home and blew up some pink and blue balloons, then sprinkled them all the way from the entryway to our back patio.
The sun was beginning to set and the tea light candles floating in the pool cast a soft and enchanting glow. The anticipation of telling him has my stomach uneasy, but deep in my gut, I know he’ll be happy. The way he’s babied me and loved on my stomach, that man loves this child regardless of the gender and I know that.
The presents are wrapped in a mint green box with a white satin bow and sit resting on top of our backyard tiki bar that we haven’t used in ages.
“Honey, I’m home.” I bite my lip and count to 10 as he makes his way into the backyard, following the path of balloons. His eyes read nothing but confusion and I want to giggle at him. He strides over to me and plants a big sloppy kiss on my cheek. “Hey beautiful.”
I pull two chairs out and place them directly across from each other. I ask him to sit in one, while I sit in the opposite, my knees resting between his. He still looks confused, but he does what I ask anyways. Weston never questions me, which is comical because all I ever tend to do is question him.
“I have something for you.” I hand the beautifully wrapped box to him. He grips my neck lightly and pulls me to him briefly, kissing me and distracting me momentarily. “Nu-uh. Open the present first. We can do that later, mister.” I growl at his chuckle.
Weston unties the bow and gently peels back the wrapping paper as if he was planning to reuse it in the future and didn’t want to ruin it. He pulls the lid off the box and peeks inside, his body freezing in place. His eyes flicker to mine and then return to the box.
He balances the box on his lap while he reaches in and pulls out a white frame. In the center is my 3D ultrasound picture from today and sprinkled around the border is a saying that, when I read it, put me into tears.
Daddy’s Little Girl
His big hands hold her gently,
His big heart loves her immensely,
His big voice softens in a purr,
His big smile shines brightly for her.
Her little kisses brush his cheek,
Her little eyes show a love so sweet,
Her little hands hold him tight,
Her little smile fills his life.
Weston’s eyes are glazed over when he looks up at me and, with my hormones raging, I have to tell myself not to cry, but I’m really struggling to hold myself together.
“We’re having a daughter?”
“Yes.” I giggle. He sets the box on the bar and pulls me into his lap, snuggling me into his chest. His large arms make me feel small and it’s nice after feeling like I’ve gained a ton of weight. “Wait!” I grab the box and pull it into our lap. “There’s one more thing. When I saw it, it just felt right.”
Weston reaches into the box and pulls out the cutest pair of baby ballet slippers I’ve literally ever laid eyes on. They are tiny and pale pink, with long satin ribbon strands.
His pearly white smile appears at the same time a few tears slip down his cheeks. My strong man never cries. He rarely gets emotional and always picks on me when I do. It’s nice for a change to see that soft, emotional side of him. Our daughter is going to have him wrapped around her tiny little fingers, I have no doubt.
I kiss him and wipe the tears from his cheeks. My fingers toy with his scruffy beard and I can’t help but feel how surreal this moment is with his hands resting on top of my growing stomach.
“Are you happy?”
“Do you even need to ask?” He chuckles. “I’m going to have two gorgeous girls. What more can a man ask for?”
“Sex.”
“Katie Kat, are you propositioning me?”
“Only time will tell, my love.” I wink before standing up and strutting inside.