Garrett was gone. He gave me his heart to keep safe, and I willingly sacrificed my own heart. It was with him on a bus headed to places unknown.

“Where are they going?” I asked Palmer through my tears.

“To the airfield. They’ll all board a plane and head to their destination.” He stated all of this matter-of-factly but in a soft voice.

The entire act of deployment was new to me. It was like organized chaos. There was so much happening all at once, but there was also a lot of waiting. When the ten-minute warning arrived, my heart had thundered in my chest. I’d felt like I’d been well on my way to having a panic attack. I’d done my best to say a lifetime of words in ten minutes, and then he capped it with a kiss that I could still feel on my lips. Absently, my fingers traced where his lips had been.

“Come on,” Palmer said, grabbing my hand and shaking me out of my thoughts. “I think you need a little cheering up.” I followed him back to the car

“Palmer, I really don’t want to be cheered up,” I mumbled as I slid into the passenger seat of his car.

“Not even if I take you to Top Pot?”

“Okay, you can attempt to cheer me up with doughnuts.” Misery loved company, and I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by a dozen chocolate sprinkle doughnuts.

“You know, there’s a Top Pot in Tacoma now,” I informed him as he searched for a parking spot in downtown Seattle.

“Now you tell me!” He smiled, and it was then I realized just how handsome he was. Palmer’s jet black hair was neatly combed and closely shaved on the sides, and his dark eyes sparkled in the sunlight. He had filled out during his time in the Army. No longer the tall, scrawny, awkward boy I went kayaking with every summer; now he was long and lean with defined muscles. In another lifetime, I might have given him the chance he desired, but my heart was claimed.

“I actually knew that,” he admitted as he finally found a space and parked the car. “I just thought that you might not want to go back home either.”

“Well, you’re right about that too. I’m not exactly thrilled about my mom being back.”

Our conversation was put on hold as we entered Top Pot. The fragrant smell of sugar and fried dough hit my nose, and my mouth started to water. I showed great restraint in ordering, which Palmer said surprised him. We took our doughnuts and walked over to a sunny part of the café and continued the uncomfortable conversation about my mother’s return.

“I apologize for her showing up last night,” he told me.

“You don’t have to apologize. She seems all gung ho on getting me to forgive her.”

I took a bite of my doughnut, and it was deliciously sweet. My eyes rolled back in my head with delight, and I knew that without a doubt, I’d be leaving with a dozen. I groaned with pleasure after my second bite, which made Palmer laugh. The way his smile filled his entire face and his eyes crinkled at the corners had me wondering why no one had bothered to claim him.

“You’ll find someone, Palmer,” I told him. I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry it’s not me, but you’ll find the right girl who will make you deliriously happy. I mean, you’re not bad looking.”

“Gee, thanks.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked away.

“I mean it, Palmer. You’re smart and handsome, and you’re about to take over my father’s position in the company, so you have a good job. What girl wouldn’t want all that in a man?”

Palmer turned back to face me when I mentioned he would be taking over my father’s position. “What do you mean I’m going to take over for your father?”

I fiddled with my coffee cup. My father and Tim Grayson had started talking about the future of S&G Home Builders when he was first diagnosed. Valerie still worked for the company and was content to just manage projects. She was destined to be the senior project manager but running the company didn’t interest her. Palmer would now inherit my father’s role.

“Valerie wants to be a project manager. She likes the control too much.”

“Cami, I don’t want to take anything away from your family.”

“You’re not. This is just one less thing for my dad to worry about. He hasn’t worked since he got sick.” I didn’t want to add that soon, Palmer’s dad would buy out my dad’s half of the company. Who knew there was so much to take care of when your life was ending?

“Come on,” Palmer said, rising from his seat. “Let’s enjoy this gorgeous day.”

We wandered around downtown Seattle, and I started to think more about selling my condo. It was beyond time for me to let it go because I wouldn’t be returning to Seattle. It was time for me to start thinking about a life without my father and a life with Garrett.

“Will you help me sell my condo? I don’t want to burden Dad,” I asked as we drove back to Gig Harbor.

“Are you sure you want to sell? Your condo is in an amazing location. It might be good just to hang onto it.”

“Yes, I’m sure. I might not know exactly what my future looks like, but Seattle isn’t a part of it.”

“Okay. Let’s plan on meeting in a few days. I’ll ask my dad if he can recommend anyone.”

“Thank you, Palmer.” Absently, I placed my hand on his thigh. When he covered it with his, I realized the message I was sending and carefully slid my hand away. There was no reason for me to unintentionally send him mixed messages.

Palmer reached over and picked up my left hand. “This is new,” he commented as he slid his thumb across the stones in my new ring. “It’s nice.”

“Palmer, if this makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to talk about it,” I said cautiously.

“I’m happy for you, Cami. If Garrett is the one for you, then I’ll proudly stand by both of your sides.”

“Thank you.” But in the pit of my stomach, I felt a little uneasy. His tight smile and the way he quickly dropped my hand indicated that maybe he wasn’t being completely truthful.

He dropped me back home, and I avoided the main house where I knew my mother was staying. Instead, I headed into the guest house where the scent of Garrett still lingered. I headed for the bedroom and fell against the unmade bed where the familiar smell was strongest. Tears quietly slipped down my cheeks. It had only been a few hours since we shared our last kiss, but it felt like days.

I sat up and grabbed my laptop off the bedside table. Garrett and I had discussed emailing, and he made sure to give me every number and every email that could possibly reach him.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Miss You Already

You just left. I just hugged you for the last time. My lips were pressed against yours for the last time for the next nine months. Until you come home to me. I miss you already even though you’ve only been gone a few hours. My body already aches without your touch. My heart is heavy without yours near. One hour without you feels like a lifetime. What will the next nine months feel like?

Let me know that you’re safe as soon as you can.

Your Cami

I clicked send on my email and closed my laptop. Today had been exhausting, and my eyes grew heavier and heavier. I leaned against the pillows and closed my eyes to sleep, where endless memories of Garrett replayed in my dreams.

My phone buzzing next to me woke me up. When I opened my eyes, it was still dark, and I had no idea how long I had been asleep. Without looking at the caller ID, I answered.

“Hello?” My voice was thick with sleep.

“Cami?” The sound of Garrett’s voice was surprising.

“Garrett?”

“Hey, baby. I just wanted to call you while I still can.” I could hear the smile in his warm voice. I pulled my knees up to my chest and cradled the phone against my ear.

“Where are you?”

“Well, I can’t really tell you that. But we’re on a bit of a layover, waiting for the plane to get cleaned up and refueled.”

“Oh, okay.” Garrett had warned me that he wouldn’t be able to tell me much about his location. “How are you doing?”

“I’m tired as hell but happy I get to hear your voice. How are you?”

“Better.” I sighed. “Palmer took me to Top Pot for doughnuts after you left. But this is way better.”

He laughed. “I’m so happy to hear that.”

In the background, I could hear an announcement being made.

“I have to go, Cami,” he said way too soon. “They’re ready for us.”

“Already?” My voice was a whine, but I knew there wasn’t a choice.

“I’m sorry, baby. I love you, Cami.”

“I love you too, Garrett. Stay safe,” I said quietly.

“Stay strong,” he said before our call ended.

I fell asleep with my phone clutched against my chest, hoping he’d call back. In the morning, I eagerly opened my laptop, hoping for a reply to my first email, but there wasn’t anything. Frustrated, I typed out a second email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: How Long Does This Take?

I’m impatient. I don’t know how long it takes for you to return to base and to get yourself situated again. I’ll try to not flood your inbox, but at least when you open it, you’ll be greeted with my messages. It’s been a day, but it already feels like a year. I miss you more today than yesterday. Come back to me.

Stay safe.

Your Cami