“I think I’m going to go to Napa,” I announced during dinner at the Graysons. Everyone was there—Palmer, his parents, and Valerie—and their stares were currently making me squirm in my seat. A few weeks had passed since my father’s memorial and the last email that I sent to Garrett; it was time for a change. “I mean, I am going to Napa.”

“You are?” Valerie looked surprised, which was understandable. I hadn’t left Gig Harbor for more than a few days over the past two years, and that was only for short trips to Seattle. It was time to start spreading my wings.

“Yes. I miss Garrett so much and visiting his family’s winery might make me feel a little better.”

“I can go with you,” Palmer offered. He was a frequent guest at our dinner table, but tonight, his parents had invited Valerie and me over, so there were four sets of eyes staring at me.

“Have you met Garrett’s family?” I asked

“Twice. But it has been a while.”

“Okay. It might be good not to go alone,” I said. Truthfully, I was terrified of meeting Garrett’s family without him, so having Palmer offer to go with me was almost a godsend.

“When do you want to go?”

“Soon. I need a change of scenery.” I didn’t want to say that living with Valerie in the house we shared with our father was almost like living in a tomb. While the probate issues had been settled easily enough, we hadn’t actually gotten around to cleaning out all of Dad’s belongings. So, his office was still lined with shelves of records and his closet still held rows of khaki pants and polo shirts. Everything was pretty much how he left it.

“I’ll look at flights tomorrow after I check my schedule. We’re slow right now, so I think I can take a few days.” Palmer looked at his father for confirmation, and Tim nodded his head.

“I don’t see why not, Palmer. Valerie, you can take a few days too if you want to go,” Tim offered.

“Thanks. I might take some time off, but I don’t really want to go to Napa with Cami.” Valerie had started to retreat after Dominic broke her heart, and once our dad passed, she was practically a hermit. I had started to worry about her, so when she agreed to take some time off, I reached out and squeezed her hand.

“Maybe you should go to the beach,” I suggested.

“Maybe,” she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

When Valerie and I left that night, I knew something had to change. We were stuck, just living, and we needed to start moving forward. “I think we need to start clearing out Dad’s things,” I told her. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Not right now, but soon.”

“Okay,” she replied with a shaky voice. “Soon.”

A week later, Palmer and I sat on the airplane waiting for it to leave the airport. My knee bounced nervously, and my hands fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. Palmer placed a hand over mine and gave me a reassuring smile.

“Sorry,” I said weakly. “I’m just nervous.”

“You don’t have to be nervous. They’re going to love you.” He gave me a wink, but somehow, that didn’t actually make me feel better. It made me feel worse. Did I even have the right to barge into their lives and introduce myself without Garrett? As far as I knew, the only person in his family who knew we were in a relationship was his brother Oliver.

Thankfully, the flight was short, so I didn’t have hours to sit and stew over my nerves. Palmer took charge and led me through the small airport in Santa Rosa. We didn’t have any luggage to check, so we headed right to the rental car kiosk.

“It looks like it’ll only take about forty-five minutes,” he said, studying his phone’s GPS.

I exhaled loudly and replied, “Let’s go.”

We drove from the airport up Highway 101 and into Healdsburg. The scenery was breathtaking as it changed from cityscape to landscape; lush green hills and rows upon rows of vineyards replaced the buildings and shopping plazas. As we drove toward Hammond Winery, colored banners lined the edges of other properties, signaling to tourists as they drove unfamiliar roads.

Palmer started to slow down, and I peered out the front window, waiting for my first glimpse of Hammond Winery. Green banners fluttering in the breeze dotted the perimeter of the Hammond property. Palmer turned onto a long tree-lined drive that eventually opened up into a wider area where several cars were parked.

The main house was stunning. It was large and white with a huge wraparound front porch. Beyond that was a smaller building that must have been the tasting room. Palmer stopped the car and turned off the engine.

“Are you ready?” he asked me.

“Sure. I guess,” I answered with a shrug of my shoulders. There weren’t many cars parked in the small lot across from what I assumed was the tasting room, which could easily be a blessing and a curse. I grasped the handle, opened the door, and took my first step toward Garrett’s past.

“I’ll follow your lead,” Palmer said as he walked beside me.

The rustic tasting room was illuminated by natural light pouring in from countless windows. The walls were painted white, and the floors were a beautiful golden hardwood. There weren’t many people seated at the bar, which was where I headed. Immediately, I recognized Oliver because he had the same dark chestnut hair as Garrett and similar angular features. When he looked up and saw me, his eyes were the same molten brown. I stopped dead in my tracks, overcome by emotion. Oliver looked past me, and recognition flashed in his eyes.

“Palmer?” He rounded the bar and started walking toward Palmer with an easy smile. “Palmer, what are you doing here?”

Palmer seemed to be at a loss for words. He looked at me for help, but I was useless. Oliver faced me and then looked back at Palmer, his smile even wider.

“Hey, Oliver,” Palmer finally managed, taking Oliver’s outstretched hand.

“I can’t believe you’re here. Is this your girlfriend?” Oliver let go of Palmer’s hand and extended his hand toward me. “Hi, I’m Oliver Hammond.”

“Oh, I’m not …” I stumbled over my own words as my hand slipped into Oliver’s. “I’m not Palmer’s girlfriend.”

“Oliver, this is Cami,” Palmer offered.

“Cami?” Oliver whispered my name until his eyes grew wide with recognition. “Cami? Garrett’s girlfriend?”

Garrett and I hadn’t ever placed labels on each other even though he did place a ring on my finger. It was slightly jarring to hear myself referred to as Garrett’s “girlfriend,” but I guess that was what I was.

Unexpectedly, Oliver drew me into his embrace, hugging me tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmured.

A woman cleared her throat, and we broke apart. Oliver turned toward the woman who approached us with an infant snuggled in her arms and smiled wide. He held out his arm, signaling her to join us.

“Tabitha, this is Garrett’s girlfriend, Cami, and his friend, Palmer.” Oliver reached out, gently lifted the tiny bundle from his wife’s arms, and held the baby so that she faced us. “And this little one is Zoe.”

Tabitha greeted us, and we all moved toward the bar. I couldn’t help but glance at the new baby cradled in her father’s arms. Garrett didn’t even know that his family was now slightly bigger.

“Are you two hungry? Do you want some wine?” Tabitha offered, placing menus in front of us. My stomach growled, and I realized that I was hungrier than I realized.

“Lunch sounds great,” I said. “And I’d love a glass of the Burnham Hill Rosé.” I recognized the name immediately because it was the wine Garrett and I shared out on the dock. Oliver smiled appreciatively and handed little Zoe back to Tabitha before setting a glass in front of me.

“So, what brings you out to Healdsburg?” Oliver asked as he filled my glass with the delicious wine. Tabitha handed little baby Zoe back to Oliver who accepted her into his arms with a sweet smile. Tabitha disappeared into a room behind the bar and returned moments later with a plate of antipasto, which she set down between Palmer and me.

“It’s been a rough couple of months for me, and my father recently passed,” I began. “I needed to get away and somehow feel connected with Garrett for a bit.”

Oliver’s eyes shifted nervously toward Tabitha, who met his gaze with her own worried look. “Well, we’re happy to have you. Where are you staying?”

“In downtown Healdsburg,” Palmer informed them.

“You should stay in the guest house,” Tabitha insisted. “It’s starting to pick up, but luckily, there isn’t anyone using it right now. It’s only one bedroom, but there’s plenty of room.”

My heart started to pound wildly in my chest. Garrett talked about his love for his family’s land all of the time; it was the siren song that brought him back willingly to the family business. Oliver’s offer gave me the opportunity to connect with that piece of Garrett, and I wanted it.

“Thank you,” I said eagerly. “We’d love that.”

Palmer shot me a look, and I just smiled and shrugged. I couldn’t explain it to him because it would make me sound like a crazy person.

“There’s a pull-out couch,” Oliver added, which seemed to relieve Palmer. “Finish up your lunch, and then I’ll walk you over.”

I nodded, maybe a little too eagerly, and continued nibbling at the delicious meats and cheeses that filled the plate Tabitha brought out. While we waited for Oliver to finish with customers, I wandered around the tasting room. I picked up a few odds and ends that were for sale before walking over to a wall that had a few large framed photos on it. One was completely black and white and seemed to be from when the winery first opened, before Garrett’s father inherited it. Another photo showed Garrett’s father standing in the doorway of the big white main house, smiling proudly and holding a wine bottle. I moved to the last image, a family photo. I could easily pick out Garrett and Oliver from their similar features and quickly surmised that the young boy was Neil. He was so small compared to his much larger brothers and was fairer. He had sandy brown hair, which must have come from their mother. I lifted my eyes to locate their mother. She stood next to Garrett’s father with her arm around his waist and was beaming. She was proud of him. It was so evident from the way she smiled and the way her attention was completely focused on him.

“Are you ready to go?” Oliver’s voice startled me, and I turned to face him and Palmer. Oliver noticed where I stood and walked over. “That’s my mother, Olivia, and my father, Jacob. I’m sure Garrett already told you this, but she passed away. She had cancer too.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “You must miss her terribly.”

“Every day,” he replied with a nod.

“Does it get any easier?” Oliver knew what I was going through, and he knew what I was asking. I would always miss my father, but the ache in my chest, the gaping hole that opened up the minute he passed, hurt so damn bad.

“No,” Oliver choked out.

Palmer cleared his throat, distracting us from our grief. I swiped at the tears that seemed endless and followed Oliver out toward the guest house. Palmer left me there momentarily to head back for our rental car and bags. I wandered the small space, trying to get a sense of Garrett, but he wasn’t there.

I could see the rows and rows of vines from the many windows and decided to head out, knowing that if I wanted to ease this ache for a moment, I’d find relief there. I started walking slowly, examining the vines that were still full of leaves even if their fruit had already been harvested. My head popped up as I heard a rustling of leaves and crunching of earth. I twirled around to see if someone was approaching and saw a familiar head of chestnut hair.

“Garrett,” I called out. My feet carried me quickly toward the familiar form. “Garrett!”

My heart hammered wildly, and my hands started to shake as I reached out toward him. What was he doing here? Did he come home early?

“Hey, baby,” he greeted me with a half-smile that made my knees weak. He was wearing a plaid button down and a pair of khaki pants. He held his arms out to me, beckoning me. “I missed you so much.”

I rushed toward him, my vision blurred with tears. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I wailed. The moment my arms clasped around his waist, he was gone, and I fell to my knees. Frustrated, I banged my fists on the hard ground until they ached.

“Where are you?” I yelled.

The sound of feet rushing toward me renewed my hope, but it was quickly dashed when I looked up and saw Palmer heading toward me.

“What’s wrong?” he called out. When he was close enough, he slid his hands under my arms and lifted. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” I replied, my voice numb and hollow.

“What happened?” His eyes inspected me, searching for signs of injury, and when he finally met my cold gaze, he seemed to understand. “You miss him?”

“What if something’s wrong? What if he’s hurt?”

“Oliver would have called you,” Palmer reassured me. He was right. We were together minutes before in the tasting room, and if something was wrong, then he would have told me immediately. “Why don’t you take a nap or something? Valerie said you don’t sleep much.”

Sleep? It was almost laughable. Since my father died, it seemed to evade me, and the only time I got any was with the help of medication. But it seemed like a good idea; medicating myself so that my brain shut off for a few hours.

“That sounds like exactly what I need,” I reassured him.

“Great. Oliver told me about this Italian restaurant in town called Scopa. I’ll call and see if they have a table available for tonight.”

I nodded my approval and followed him as we walked back to the guest house. Inside, I located my small carry-on suitcase and searched for the pills that would give me a few hours of peace and quiet.

“Here.” Palmer handed me a bottle of water, and when I gave him a questioning look, he said, “I know you well enough to read your mind, Cami. Just take one, okay? I don’t want to dine alone.”

I smiled weakly as I accepted the water and unscrewed the cap before taking a sip and swallowing down the tiny white pill. “Thank you,” I said, giving him a weak hug. I shuffled slowly through the house until I found the bedroom.

The bed was perfectly made with a downy white comforter and more pillows than should be allowed, but it looked like heaven. I didn’t even bother to undress; I just removed my shoes, before flopping down and curling beneath the covers. It wasn’t long before my mind went blank, and I found peace in a dreamless sleep.

Dinner was a disaster. I felt like a robot, just going through the motions. That was the downside of the pills that helped me sleep. They left me in a fog. When I woke up the next morning, I had a hard time even remembering what I had eaten, but it was easy to remember the apparition of Garrett I imagined in the vineyard.

The smell of coffee motivated me, and I quickly dressed before greeting Palmer. He smiled brightly as he handed me a cup of coffee. “I thought we could go out today and see some of the other wineries in the area,” he said, waving a few brochures.

“That sounds like a great idea.” I glanced out at the property; I couldn’t stay here. No matter how much I missed Garrett, I didn’t want to be haunted by these hallucinations. Coming here was supposed to make me stronger, not weaker.

“Oliver suggested a few, so I thought we’d have breakfast and then head into town and pick up some lunch.” I zoned out listening to the rest of Palmer’s carefully crafted plan. He was so sweet, trying to distract me and take care of me while I grieved the loss of my father and worried over Garrett.

I agreed to his plan and ate the breakfast he prepared. He watched me carefully the entire time, his entire body tense and ready to act the moment I appeared distressed. After we finished eating, I cleaned up the dishes, and Palmer left to meet Oliver in the tasting room.

“I’ll be right behind you,” I said as cheerfully as I could manage. The moment he was out of sight, I scrambled to my backpack and pulled out my laptop. Palmer made me promise before we left not to check my email, and yesterday, I put on a show for him even though my fingers itched to open it up and log on. But today, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I needed to know if there was an email waiting for me.

I fidgeted nervously while I waited first for my computer to boot and then for it to connect to the winery’s Wi-Fi. When my email server’s homepage popped up, I quickly typed in my log-in credentials and waited. My excitement was short-lived once I realized that my inbox was nothing more than a list of junk. There was nothing from Garrett. Disappointed, I logged off and shut down my computer. I slipped my laptop back inside my backpack and then headed out to meet Palmer in the tasting room.