Chapter Nineteen
I couldn’t have heard him right.
“T-the man you killed?” When he nodded, I said, “Seth, Bishop’s dead. You said so yourself. Why in the hell would you think this has anything to do with him of all people?”
He held up the large dagger. “Because this is the knife I shoved into his chest before he fell into the river.”
I blinked rapidly. “How do you know it’s the same one?”
“It’s one-of-a-kind. Junior made it for me and engraved my initials into it.”
“Show me.”
He pointed out the little S and L at the base of the blade. “There’s other things, too. My old commander at The Resistance called last week. He told me that someone with strong connections was inquiring about me. He didn’t know the specifics, so we just assumed they had heard about me and wanted to hire me for job. And there’s the fact that lately, I’ve been getting the feeling someone was watching me. I thought it was just your friends checking up on me, but now I have no doubt who it is.”
“There has to be some explanation. It can’t be what you’re thinking.”
He shook his head. “No. I’m right. I know I am. I can feel it. If the knife is here, so is Bishop. I don’t know how, but he somehow made it out of that crocodile-infested river alive.”
My heart jolted in my chest. Panicking, I turned and ran as hard as I could toward the fairgrounds with Seth on my heels.
I would’ve never thought I could outrun him, even if I had been on the track team in high school. But my son needed me, and I couldn’t get there fast enough. I yelled out his name as I ran through the crowd, scanning the distance for him.
“Over there,” Seth yelled, pointing across the way.
I stood on my tiptoes and peered in that direction and spotted Jeremy talking to one of his buddies. I took off toward him at a dead run, and made it to him about the same time Seth did. I grabbed Jeremy’s arm to get his attention as my head spun back and forth looking for my son. “Where’s Austin?”
Jeremy jerked his arm away from me. “Chill out. What the hell’s the problem?”
“Where’s my son?” I spun circles looking for him, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Damn it, Jeremy. It’s important. Where’s my baby?”
“I don’t know. Hell, he was right here a few minutes ago. I think.”
“You think? You weren’t watching him?” I yelled, my hands clenching at my sides.
Seth put his hands on my shoulders. “Calm down. It’s okay. We’ll find him.”
Hard breaths panted out of me as I glared at Jeremy. “If anything happens to my little boy, I’m holding you personally responsible.”
He rolled his eyes. “Figures. The kid goes wandering off, and of course, I get the blame. If you’d beat the hell out of that kid one good time, he’d mind better.”
“You sonofabitch,” I said, launching myself at him.
Seth wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back. I struggled against his tight grip. As mad and scared as I was, if I could’ve gotten to Jeremy, I would’ve ripped his head off and shoved it up his ass.
Jake, Emily, Cowboy, and Anna must’ve spotted the commotion and came over to investigate. The moment they walked up, I said, “Austin’s missing. Possibly abducted. I need everyone to help look for him. Right now.”
Jake put on his game face. “Abducted? What the hell are you talking about? What’s going on?”
We quickly filled them in on Bishop and the knife we found sticking out of Austin’s favorite stuffed animal, the look of sheer terror on Emily and Anna’s faces probably resembled my own. “Are you sure,” Anna asked. “Maybe he just went to get a balloon or something.”
God, I hoped she was right. But I had a horrible feeling that she wasn’t. “Please, just everyone spread out and help us find him.”
As everyone fanned out, the overwhelming sense of helplessness took over, and my stomach knotted with dread. What if we didn’t find him in time? What if Bishop… Oh God.
Perceptive as ever, Seth held me against him. “It’s okay. We’re going to get him back.”
I took several slow breaths. Emily and Anna had separated and were heading different directions while calling Austin’s name. Cowboy was on his radio, dispatching out to his firemen a description of my little boy. And Jake was on the phone getting police and FBI backup. Everyone was doing something.
Everyone, except Jeremy.
He had gone back to talking to his friend as if he didn’t give a damn whether Austin was found or not. The bastard. But I didn’t have time to deal with him right now. I needed to find my son. The sun was almost gone, and Austin was scared of the dark.
I took off in the opposite direction of Seth. I checked the bathrooms, the jump castle, and then jogged around the entire fair grounds twice. But I didn’t see him. Damn it. Where the hell was my child? I felt myself starting to crumble inside, but I didn’t have time for that right now. I wouldn’t be of any help to Austin if I fell apart instead of looking for him.
I made it back to the area where we had found Jeremy, and spied Seth talking to Jake. I sprinted over to them. “Did either of you find him?”
Seth grabbed my arms to steady me. “A woman said they saw a little boy matching his description heading toward the forest trail. Since there were other people near the entrance, she just assumed that he was with one of them. But he was walking alone.”
Jake nodded. “It’s a good lead. I’m organizing a search party right now to scour the woods. We have about fifty people already who are going to be out looking for him. I’m just trying to get enough flashlights for everyone before I send them out.”
“We can go now,” I told him. “I have a flashlight in my truck.”
He shook his head. “No, you should stay here in case someone finds him. He’s going to want to see his mother.”
“No, Jake. He might not come to a stranger calling his name. I need to be out there. If he hears my voice, he’ll come to me.”
“Bobbie, damn it. You can’t go out there in flip-flops. It’s dangerous. Especially after dark. Just stay here and let us find Austin for you.”
I wasn’t going to stand there and argue with him. I was going to find my son, whether he liked it or not. I took off running for my truck. Seth caught up to me just as I made it to the truck. I pulled open the passenger door and rummaged through the glove box, looking for my flashlight. It wasn’t a large one, but it was bright as hell. That was all that mattered.
Seth grabbed it out of my hand. “You stay here. I’ll go.”
I whirled on him. “Like hell I will. That’s my son we’re talking about.”
He grabbed me by both of my arms. “I can find him much faster on my own. You’ll only slow me down.”
“Seth,” I said, my voice cracking.
“I know. I’m going to go get him and bring him back to you, I promise. You need to trust me. I won’t let anything happen to Austin.”
Our eyes met and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. The last boy he tried to rescue never saw his parents again. But I needed to believe that the same wouldn’t happen to my son. Maybe we both did.
I closed my eyes. “Hurry back.”
The moment he disappeared into the trees, I said a quick prayer and then headed back to where Emily and Anna were waiting, hoping for good news. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any. So I did the only thing I could. I pulled up recent pictures of Austin on my phone to share with the volunteers, helped pass out flashlights as they headed out in groups, and tried to stay as busy as possible while waiting impatiently for my child to be found.
Though I wanted to be out there looking for him, I knew it made more sense for me to stay put. Everyone was trying to find my baby. But as minutes crept into hours, I began to lose all hope of finding my son safe and sound.
It was close to midnight when Anna gasped so loud that it shook my bones. My head lifted automatically, and my eyes landed on Seth emerging from the woods carrying my son on his shoulders while they sang one of Austin’s favorite songs. I inhaled a breath, the deepest one I’d taken since I realized he had been in danger.
Relief swept through so fast and furiously that, when I stood, my knees almost buckled out from under me. But the last thing I wanted to do was worry my little boy. So I forced the tears of joy back and tried to make light of the scary situation, as Seth was clearly doing.
Seth swept Austin off his shoulders and placed him in my arms, I rained kisses all over his face and hugged him so tight that I thought I’d never let him go. He was covered in dirt from head to toe, and he was missing one shoe. But I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to me was that my little boy was alive and safe and back in my arms where he belonged.
Thank God.
…
At the hospital, Austin sat on the gurney in a child’s hospital gown while I cleaned most of the dirt from his face, arms, and legs with paper towels I’d wet down using the tiny handwashing sink.
Seth leaned against the far wall in silence. Though I appreciated him rescuing my son and bringing Austin back to me, I couldn’t help but feel a disconnection between us at the moment. And he must’ve interpreted my chilly remoteness toward him for what it was, since he was keeping a slight distance.
Not that we’d had much of a chance to talk since he’d returned from the woods. The EMTs had checked Austin over and then we had taken a short ambulance ride to the hospital, while Seth followed behind the ambulance in my truck. Even now, the waiting room was filled with my family and friends, all who were patiently taking turns visiting my son to make sure he was okay.
And he was. Beyond some scratches, a skinned knee, and a suspected poison ivy rash on his arm, Austin was doing remarkably well. But the doctor still wanted to observe him a while longer and said he would be sending a nurse in to give my child a dose of antihistamine to keep him from itching.
After the doctor exited the room, Austin continued telling me his stories about his ordeal in the woods, although I was pretty sure some of them were a little embellished. “And I saw a wolf, Momma. A big, scary one. He was on his way to Grandma’s house.”
I smiled. “Well, Grandma’s out of town at the moment, so he won’t find her there. But when I talked to her on the phone before the doctor came in, she told me to tell you that she loves you and to give you a big hug from her.”
Without hesitation, Austin leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my neck. It was the best feeling in the world.
“I’ll take one of those,” Jake said, coming through the door with Emily right behind him.
“Uncle Jake!” Austin released me and launched himself into his arms.
Jake gave him a big hug. “Hey, buddy. Don’t you ever go out in the woods by yourself again, okay? You scared the hell…I mean, heck out of us.”
Austin giggled as Jake passed him to Emily for another hug. He smiled at her. “Uncle Jake said a bad word.”
Emily grinned back at my son. “I know. He needs his mouth washed out with soap.”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Look who’s talking.”
Unfazed by their banter, Austin squirmed out of Emily’s arms and crawled back to his spot on the bed. “Where’s Lily?”
Emily pulled up a chair next to Austin’s bed. “Lily is in the waiting room with Floss. Unfortunately, kids aren’t allowed in here.”
Austin thought about that for a minute and then glanced up at me. “Do I have to go to the waiting room, too?”
Everyone laughed as I shook my head. “No, baby. You’re a patient, so it’s okay for you to be in here.”
A young nurse finally came in to give Austin the oral liquid dose of antihistamine the doctor had ordered, but the moment Austin tasted the bad-tasting medicine, he refused to drink the rest of it by pursuing his lips together and shaking his head.
The nurse huffed, clearly irritated by his behavior. “You have to take this. The doctor said so.”
Austin covered his mouth. “I don’t wanna.”
“Here, let me help,” I offered, rising to my feet.
But the nurse declined by shaking her head. “No, it’s okay. I can get him to take it. I’ve dealt with children like him before.”
I wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but I didn’t like her tone. “Excuse me?”
“Ma’am, can you just let me do my job?” Before I could respond, she pushed Austin’s hand away from his mouth, grasped both sides of his cheeks to force his mouth open, and poured the medicine down his throat as he gasped and choked on it. It happened so fast that I hadn’t expected it. “There. All done.”
Maybe it was the momma bear in me protecting her cub, but I lunged for the nurse. She was lucky that Jake had been standing nearby because he managed to grab me before I got a hold of her. “Don’t you ever touch my child like that again!”
The nurse put a hand to her chest as if she was shocked by my reaction. “I only did what I was supposed to. He needed to take the medicine, and he was being uncooperative.”
I couldn’t believe the nerve of this woman. “He’s only five, you idiot. If you don’t have the patience to deal with children, then you’re in the wrong damn line of work.”
“Oooh, my momma said a bad word,” Austin told Emily.
“Uh, yeah, and she might say another one. Close your ears, Austin.”
I glanced at my son who immediately clasped his hands over his ears and was staring at me with wide eyes. He’d never seen me talk to someone like that before, and I felt bad that he had to witness it now. Even if the nurse had deserved it.
The nurse gave me a disapproving look. “Ms. Weston, would you like me to call security and have you removed?”
The challenging look I gave her right back dared her to try it.
“Don’t bother,” Jake said, releasing me so he could flash his FBI badge in her face. “I’m Special Agent Jake Ward.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re here. You witnessed her trying to attack me and then threaten to assault me.”
Jake shook his head. “No. What I saw was you physically assault a minor patient and his mother coming to his defense. You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t press charges and have you arrested. Now, I suggest that you go get a different nurse to take your place before Ms. Weston does just that. And rest assured, I will be speaking to your superiors about this incident as well.”
Without another word, the young nurse quickly left the room. Once she was gone, I inspected my son’s face up close for so much as a scratch but found nothing. “Austin, that nurse didn’t hurt you, did she?”
“No,” he said and then pretended to be driving his gurney as if it were a race car.
Jake put his hand on my shoulder. “Bobbie, you’ve had a rough day. Why don’t you go step outside for a few minutes and get some fresh air?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I told him.
“Come on, Bobbie,” Emily said. “Jake’s right. Go take a breather. We won’t let anyone that works here touch Austin until you get back. Just take a moment to calm your nerves and catch your breath. You seem a little wound up. He’ll be fine with us.”
Reluctant to leave, I stood my ground. I had no doubt that Jake and Emily would keep Austin safe, but after the earlier events, the last thing I wanted to do was let my son out of my sight again. That only made me realize how traumatic today had truly been for me.
But maybe they were right. The blind terror and devastation that had coursed through me when I realized my son was in danger and missing had definitely taken a toll on me. The knowledge that the evening very easily could’ve been marred by tragedy had crippled me in the worst way possible. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and some fresh night air would probably do me some good.
“All right,” I said, caving to their whim. I leaned over and kissed my son on the head. “Austin, I’m going to step out for just a minute, but I’ll be right back. Okay?”
“Okay, Momma.”
Jake nodded to Seth in order to make sure I didn’t go outside alone. Not that he would’ve let me, anyway. Not with a psychopath on the loose. But I felt safe at the moment, since Jake had brought in the FBI to help locate Bishop and had Junior patrolling the hospital grounds. If anyone could get by him and live to tell about it, then nothing was going to stop them.
Seth followed me out of the room and down the hall toward the elevators. We rode to the first floor in complete silence and then exited through a side door to avoid the crowd in the waiting room. Once we got outside into the parking lot, he finally spoke. “You okay?”
I waved my hand through the air. “I’m fine. But if that nurse touches my son again, I’m going to shove an IV pole up her ass…sideways.”
He grinned. “That’s not quite what I meant. I was talking about the scare with Austin tonight.”
“Oh.” My initial reaction toward Seth when he’d carried Austin out of those woods and placed him into my arms had been sheer gratitude. But now that some time had passed, I’d had time to think long and hard about it. And I’d realized that there was a much bigger picture to the story. “Why didn’t you tell me that someone from your past was looking for you?”
“Because I didn’t know who it was at the time.”
“What does that matter? Given your line of work, surely you must’ve considered the possibility that whoever it was asking about you might not have the best intentions toward you. It’s almost like you chose to turn a blind eye on it.”
He shook his head adamantly. “You’re wrong. I didn’t just ignore it. In fact, I took it very seriously. That phone call from my old commander was why I broke things off with you. It reminded me that the life I’ve led up to this point was way too dangerous to involve a woman and her child in it. So I pushed you away in order to protect you and Austin.”
I understood that. I really did. But knowing that I could’ve lost my son tonight all because Seth hadn’t mentioned one little important detail was not sitting well with me. “Well, seeing how your past is currently affecting our future, it appears you didn’t push hard enough.”
“I tried to stay away from you. But when I saw you with that other guy I couldn’t do it anymore. I hated myself for hurting you like that.”
“But even after you confessed everything to me about your past, you still didn’t mention that someone was looking for you. And you were staying in my home. Don’t you think I deserved to know that you were putting both me and my son at risk?”
“Like you just said, I was there. I wouldn’t have let anything happen to either of you.”
“You were around Austin most of the time, since my babysitter comes to the house, but you weren’t around him the times he was at my mom’s. That put both of them in danger. And you weren’t always around me, either. When I went to work—”
He raised his hand to stop me. “Not only were you in a public place, but my uncle was there. Junior wouldn’t have let anything happen to you.”
“You told Junior?” When he nodded, I crossed my arms and let another round of indignation blaze through me. “So you thought about it enough to mention it to Junior, but not to me?”
“I didn’t want to scare you. But, since I couldn’t be at two places at once, I needed Junior’s help to cover both of you. That’s why I told him.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“It has nothing to do with trust, Bobbie.”
“Are you kidding me? It has everything to do with it! You had the nerve to ask me to trust you, but you’ve never once given me the same benefit. This need of yours to control everything around you keeps you from trusting anyone and letting go of your past.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? You won’t let anyone in, including me. Not fully. Because of that, you put me in danger. And even worse, you put my son in jeopardy.”
“I never meant to—”
“Maybe not. But you still put your own needs above ours. You had the chance to tell me everything, but you sanitized the facts and filtered out any information that you didn’t want to discuss. Damn it, Seth. You left out significant details.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, hanging his head. “Look, I know I messed up in epic proportions. I should’ve told you about the call and that someone was looking for me.”
“You’re right, you should have. How do you think I feel knowing that a deranged psychopath was watching my child? Or possibly even us when we had sex in the barn. Or on the picnic table. God, Seth. Do you know how fucking creepy all of that is?”
“I don’t think Bishop was watching us or Austin back then. Only more recently. As far as I knew, Bishop was dead. Bobbie, you know that. Your friends are overprotective, and I just thought it was them checking up on me to make sure you were safe. If I had known…”
Maybe it was the scared mom inside of me still reeling from my child being placed in harm’s way, but I couldn’t let it go. “He could’ve gotten to my son tonight.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He reached for my hand.
I pulled away from him. “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Seth. The damage is already done.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’ve had it with selfish men who don’t put me or my son first. I know I asked you to stay, but maybe I shouldn’t have.” My nerves were wreaking havoc on my emotions, but I didn’t want to shrivel to a blubbering mess. I’d done enough of that tonight already. So I swallowed hard before I looked him in the eyes and said plainly, “This thing between us. It’s over.”
He shook his head. “Look, I know you’re scared and upset right now, but I’m going to fix this. If you want to be mad at me, fine. But I don’t want to lose you.”
I closed my eyes. I hated to do it, but I didn’t have a choice. “I don’t want to see you anymore. You need to leave.” Maybe then, Austin would be safe.
“No. Now is not a good time for you to ask me to leave. I can’t protect either of you if I’m not here.”
Feelings of frustration and resentment cascaded through me, severely distorting my view of the situation and profoundly affecting my ability to forgive. “You’ve been here this whole time and we’re in more danger now than ever.”
“Damn it, Bobbie. If you think for one second that I’m going to leave you and Austin unprotected, you clearly don’t know me very well. Until I find Bishop and end this once and for all, I’m not going anywhere.”
I crossed my arms. “This is the last time I’m going to say this, Seth. Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.”
Then I turned and walked away.