My thoughts are swirling as I stare up at the blades of the ceiling fan spinning around and around. It’s been six days since I’ve seen or heard from Mason. With each day that passes by, I can’t help but feel like I’m drifting further and further away from my best friend.
I think back to my conversation with Lissa after my fight with Kaleb. I had never given any thought to a relationship with Mason. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s always been someone I could trust but I knew who he spent his nights with.
Remembering how it felt having his lips on mine has my heart rate picking up once again. I hear myself whimper, thinking about the gravelly tone in his voice as he said my name with each hurried thrust. He stole the breath right out of my lungs when he punished me with his kiss.
Two knocks sound on my door, as Lissa peeks her head into my bedroom.
“Hey, you’re up!”
“I just woke up a few minutes ago actually.”
“You nervous about your first night?” she asks, leaning against the doorway.
After Lissa suggested it to me, I gave it some thought and went in on Wednesday to talk to Craig, the owner of Velvet. He offered me the job on the spot. I never pictured myself working at a nightclub. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I’ve always preferred working with kids. When I was a teenager, I spent my summers volunteering at a day camp with underprivileged kids. My focus now is on getting my degree to teach kindergarten.
“Just first night jitters. Nothing I won’t soon get over.”
It’s only partially true. While on one hand I am nervous about the new job, I am more anxious about running into Mason. I don’t want it to be awkward between us.
“How are you feeling about seeing Mason tonight?” Lissa asks, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. Pulling the blanket to my neck, I roll over on my side to face her, scooching back enough to give her some room.
I told Lissa about Mason the day after it happened, mostly because I needed to hear if I was just as bad as Kaleb for what I had done. I knew she wouldn’t hold back in telling me the truth. In true Lissa fashion, she told Kaleb to fuck off and agreed finding him sleeping with some girl doesn’t compare to me giving him the finger and spending the night with Mason.
I could sense she wanted to ask me if I had given any more thought to her questions about us being more than friends, but she never did. Maybe she saw it coming, and I wonder if Kaleb did, too.
“I’m fine. It’s just Mason,” I say, but even hearing it in my ears sounds like a lie. The way she raises her eyebrow at me confirms she thinks I’m feeding her a line of BS, too.
“Have you heard from Kaleb?”
I don’t say anything, instead just shake my head. I’m not surprised he hasn’t reached out to me and, honestly, I’m grateful. I don’t know what I would say to him if he did.
“I’m gonna finish curling my hair and make something for dinner. We can drive over together; I don’t mind showing up a little early.”
Peering over at the side of the bed, I check the time on the clock and see it’s four minutes after six. I have less than an hour until I have to leave for Velvet.
Craig had me stop by yesterday to show me a few things. Since tonight is my first night, Craig asked me to come a little bit earlier. It’s loud in the club, making it hard to hear when it comes to training, and he wanted to ensure I felt prepared for my first night on my own.
“Well, you should probably get ready if you want to shower before we go,” Lissa says, swatting me on my ass as she throws me a smirk, sauntering toward the door.
I’m so glad I have her coming along with me.
We’re a little early when we arrive at Velvet. Parking off toward the side of the building, we enter through the employee entrance. I immediately notice how dim the lights are, giving the club more of a romantic ambiance. The ceiling is high, making the room look and feel twice as big.
In two of the corners, opposite each other, are the large wrap-around bars they refer to them as the West and East bars. There are tables lining the wall between them, leaving the middle of the club open for people to dance. Craig said he would start me off serving tables near the West bar where Mason works so I can stay close to Lissa. I was so relieved because I knew they would look out for me and help me through the first couple of nights. He assured me serving would be a good way to ease into things, as some of the tables are reserved for some of their more special guests.
We take the hallway near the West bar, leading toward the employee locker room. We quickly stash our purses and walk around the row of lockers toward the exit as Mason and Graham bound through the door. Mason has his head thrown back, laughing at something Graham apparently doesn’t find funny. Although with Graham, it can be tough to tell with the permanent brooding look on his face.
“Brea,” Mason says, “Craig told me he gave you a job working here. Are you feeling ready for your first night?”
Approaching me, he opens his arms, and without thinking, I immediately go to him returning his embrace. Pressing my cheek against his chest, I let the feel of his warmth spread through me, along with the relief I needed.
See, I tell myself. We are still us.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I mutter, plastering a fake smile on my face, causing him to chuckle.
The way his lip perks up as he smirks has me staring at the laugh lines on his face. His hair is longer than he normally keeps it. Usually it’s neatly styled, but tonight it looks different. It has this wild look like he’s ran his hands through it a hundred times.
“So, I heard about you and Kaleb. I’m sorry,” he says, the words coming out hesitant, as if he’s unsure how to approach the subject. The fact he’s mentioning it like we haven’t talked about it before sends off warning bells in my head.
“It’s okay; it’s not like it’s your fault. I guess you don’t always know people like you think you do.”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding his head as he shoves his hands in his pockets.
I feel my heart fall into the pit of my stomach. Does Mason not remember talking to me or us spending the night together? I mean, I know we had both been drinking, but I didn’t think neither of us were to the point of forgetting.
Wrapping my arms around my midsection, I try to keep my hands busy or maybe I’m trying to hold myself together. I want so badly to ask Mason what the hell is going on.
Peering up, I see the confusion lining Graham’s brow as he tries to piece together what we’re saying, and for a moment I wonder if maybe he knows what happened. I don’t remember seeing him before I left, but by the look on his face, I can tell he is catching on that something isn’t adding up.
This is not at all how I envisioned this conversation going.
The sound of the locker room door opening and closing draws my attention over his shoulder as I see Sierra enter behind him. When my eyes fall on hers, I see her looking at Mason out of the corner of her eye, which causes my stomach to roll.
It’s no secret she’s frequented his bed. I just never thought it was anything serious, but the way she’s looking at him, it’s like their bodies are in tune with one another. I can’t get out of the locker room quick enough.
“So, um, I’m just gonna head out. I have to talk to Craig quickly, and Lissa’s going to show me a few things before the doors open.”
I’m sure he can see the uneasiness on my face. I’ve never been good at hiding the way I’m feeling. I wear my emotions on my face like it’s written there with a permanent marker, spelling it out for everyone to read. Mason knows me better than anyone.
“I’ll catch up with you later,” Mason says, smiling as he nods his head toward the door.
Not even bothering to respond, I turn to look over my shoulder, making sure Lissa’s behind me as I walk around Mason and out the door.
“Well, that was awkward as fuck,” Lissa mumbles loud enough for only me to hear.
“Did any of that bother you?” she asks, but I know she already knows the answer. She just wants me to admit what just happened out loud.
“I don’t know, Lissa. I don’t know what’s going on.”
It’s the truth. Seeing Sierra was just another reminder of how allowing myself to feel anything more for Mason would be a grave mistake. The hardest part now is also accepting, despite what we both wanted, our night together has changed our friendship.
The first half of the evening flies by quickly. I’m so busy running all over, I don’t have time to think about the conversation with Mason or how bad my feet hurt in these shoes.
Making a quick stop by the bar to grab a drink order, one of the bartenders, Farin, flags me over.
“I hate to ask this, but I’m getting slammed here. Can you grab me some ice from the cooler? Just a couple of bags will do.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll be right back.” I remember Craig showing me the cooler they keep stocked.
I pick up the pace, wanting to hurry to get back out to my tables. Focused on what I’m doing, I don’t even see someone standing off to the side of the dimly lit hallway. A steady hand slips around my arm, catching me off guard.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.” The fiery look in his eyes tells me he isn’t happy about it.
“Yeah, well, I was hoping I’d never see you again and what do you know,” I say, sweeping my hand in front of me.
The snippy retort is causing Kaleb’s lip to sneer.
“So, what, you’re working here now? As if ditching me to spend time with your BFF wasn’t enough, you had to go and get a job with him, too? Wow, a little desperate, don’t you think?”
He moves in close, pressing both of his hands against either side of my head, not letting me leave.
“Let me go, Kaleb.”
“You wanted to talk the other night, and I was a little busy. I’m ready now though, so let’s talk.”
“No, you know what, I have nothing left to say to you. I have to get back to work.”
“So, what, you can forgive Mason for sleeping around, but it’s not okay for me to do the same?”
I can tell he’s angry as he clenches his teeth and his shoulders tense. It’s a look I’ve never seen before and, for the first time since I’ve met Kaleb, I find myself unsure of what he will do next.
“Kaleb, seriously, I don’t have time for this right now. I need to go.”
“No, I want you to answer my question. What is it about your precious Mase that has you so willing to overlook his trail of countless women coming from his bedroom?”
“She told you to let her go. I suggest you do as she says unless you want me to help you out.”
The sinister smile on Kaleb’s face is back. With a shove, he pushes away from the wall as I move to stand closer to Mason. I feel Mason beside me, pressing his hand against my lower back. The move fuels the anger on Kaleb’s face before Graham interrupts and tells him it’s time for him to leave.
Easing his arm around my shoulder, Mason turns me so I’m facing him.
He looks over my shoulder, muttering to Graham to get him out of here, before turning his attention back to me.
“What the hell was that about?”
“He’s upset about our fight from the other night is all. I’m fine though; it’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal, Brea? I walked around the corner and see this fucker intimidating you and the scared look on your face. I know you better than this, Brea. This isn’t something little to be waved off like it’s nothing. Has this happened before?”
Gritting my teeth, I force a stern look on my face. “No, he has never gotten angry like this. What the hell? Do you think I’d stay with him if he did?”
I hear the frustration rising in my throat in defense of his accusations. Does he seriously think I’d be with someone who would talk to me like that?
“I’m fine though, I swear. I’m upset of course, but I’ll be okay. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ice from the cooler and check on my tables. I’m sure they’re wondering where I’m at by now.”
“Don’t worry about the ice. I’ll get it. If that asshole comes around again, I want you to tell me.”
I can’t help but want to roll my eyes knowing it would likely make the situation worse, but I accept it because it’s not worth arguing over.
“Thank you,” I quip as I turn to walk away.
The rest of the night doesn’t go nearly as quick as I would’ve hoped. With so much that has happened tonight, I can’t even wrap my head around it all.
Why is Mason acting like the other night never happened? Where did Kaleb get the idea I’d be open to forgiving him for cheating on me?
Above all, when did I become the woman who would let a man treat her any less than what she deserved?