I never thought of myself as the type of person who avoids problems, but it’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past week.
Mason and I haven’t talked about the night we spent together. Aside from a few text messages and small talk at work, we’ve hardly spoken to each other. Even then, I’ve done a fairly good job of keeping the conversation short and steering clear of him. I know we promised nothing would change between us, but I can’t stop thinking about our conversation in the locker room. I still haven’t been able to ask him what it was all about. Maybe I’m just embarrassed he’ll say he regrets it.
I don’t want to feel like I’m every other girl he’s been with. I would hope it would be different between us, but I know I shouldn’t expect more than what it is. I wanted a night with meaningless sex and it’s what I got, right?
As hard as it is to admit, I’m at the point where now I just miss my friend. I miss the person who was my friend first. Who, when I needed someone, he would come to the rescue. I want it back.
I haven’t spoken to Kaleb and, thankfully, he’s stayed far away from Velvet. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t tried to reach out to me. The twenty-seven missed text messages in my phone say something different. I haven’t brought myself to read them yet either.
The past few weeks I’ve done nothing but stress myself. Stress about relationships, school, and finances. I’ve come to terms it’s something I’m going to have to pay on my own, because like everything else going on in my life, I’m avoiding my father, too.
After talking it over with Lissa, I decide to move home and stay with my mom during the summer. I’m going to work a couple of jobs and put money away in savings. Thankfully, Lissa’s cousin has decided to come stay with her. It will work out great because she agreed to sublease my room until I come back this fall. I wouldn’t go through with it though, if it was going to put her in a bind.
Now I just need to get through the last few weeks of school. Slamming the textbook shut, I sit back against the seat of the couch and let out a huff. I’ve spent most of the day studying for an Algebra test I have tomorrow and Monday. Math has never been my strong suit, and all these long problems make my head spin. You want me to solve for x? I can’t even solve my own ex-problems or best friend problems, so you’re asking the wrong girl.
I can’t help but laugh at my own joke as Lissa walks into the living room.
“What the hell is so funny?” She stops, turning to look at me.
Tilting my head up, I look at her as my bangs slide in front of my eyes. Blowing the strands out of my face, I flash her a crazy smile, which only adds to her concerned look.
“I think I need a break.” I laugh as I muster up the strength to stand and meander toward the door.
“I’m going to go for a walk to The Coffee House,” I say, slipping on my shoes. “I’m going to need more caffeine if I’m going to spend the rest of the night cramming.”
“Yeah, you may want to get a bottle of wine, too.”
“Cause that will help me with studying?” I jest.
“No, but it will certainly help me,” she jokes.
Rolling my eyes, I slide my sunglasses over my face. I grab my keys and slide my debit card and wallet into my pocket.
“Hey, I was meaning to ask you, have you and Mason talked about your conversation in the locker room?”
With my keys clutched in my palm, I run the back of my hand along my forehead before looking at her and shake my head.
Grumbling, she replies, “He needs to get his shit together.”
She’s looking out for me, and I know she’s frustrated.
“What more is there to talk about? If it hasn’t been said yet, I’m not sure if we’re ever going to. I’m ready to just move on.”
Tossing a goodbye over my shoulder, I head out the door. While on my walk, I do my best to clear my head and enjoy the fresh air. The time flies by quick. Opening the door to The Coffee House, the strong aroma of coffee hits me. I was used to it from my days working here as a barista, but walking in the door has me feeling like I’m at home.
Joining the long line forming near the door, I slide off my sunglasses and hang them from the front of my shirt.
“Look who it is, stranger.” The sound of Mason’s gravelly voice behind me causes me to momentarily tense as I spin on me heel.
“Would you look at that,” I say, doing my best to hide my surprise in seeing him here and finding him not alone.
Immediately I regret my decision to just run out the door, wearing only a pair of leggings and a dri-fit t-shirt and my hair rocking a day-old ponytail. I look like I’m getting ready to work-out when all I’ve been doing is lounging around all day.
Looking next to him, I flash Sierra a smile before turning my attention on Mason.
“What are you two up to?” I ask, forcing a smile on my face. While it’s what I say out loud, I’m mentally screaming “what the fuck” over and over.
Smooth, Brea.
“We have a group project due tomorrow. I needed to refuel so we are stopping by here quick before heading to her place to work on it.”
I can’t ignore the way my stomach bottoms out hearing they’ll be going to her place. Especially when I know they have a history of hooking up in the past. More than once even, which even I know doesn’t happen often with him.
I hate how insecure it has me feeling.
“Sounds like fun,” I say, coming out sounding overly chipper. Far more enthusiastic than anyone getting ready to go work on a school project. “That’s what I’m here doing, too. I’ll be heading home, just me. Going to work on studying.”
I want to cringe at my choice of words. Of course, it’s just you, you idiot. Who else would you be going to hang out with? It’s not like you’re like Mason, with a new guy draped on your arm every time you turn around.
“Hey, you!” Sara cheers from behind the counter, a bright grin on her face, saving me from this torturous conversation. “It’s great to see you! Please tell me you’re thinking about coming back for the summer. I miss you here.”
The mention of this summer with Mason behind me has me wanting to divert this conversation to safe territory quickly. I haven’t yet broken it to him that I’m heading home during the summer. I’ve been rather busy lately avoiding him and all. I don’t want to announce it with him standing right behind me, having him overhear me tell someone else.
“You know, I’m not sure what the summer will bring.”
Ordering my frappe and a muffin, I stand off to the side as Mason and Sierra order their drinks. Pulling out my phone, I pretend like I’m engrossed in whatever is on my screen like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. I’m terrible at this avoidance thing.
“Thanks, babe,” I say as soon as Sara hands me my drink and muffin. “Text me soon so we can get together for lunch.”
I grab the bag and turn to head out, already over this attempt to evade studying. I almost wish I would’ve just stayed home and tried to solve x’s problems.
“See ya around.” I smile, giving a small wave of my fingers as I slip my sunglasses on.
“Yeah, alright. Bye, Brea,” Mason says. I don’t have to look behind me to know he is watching me.
As soon as I’m outside and ambling down the sidewalk, I let out a deep breath.
“Jesus fuck,” I grumble to myself as I take a drink.
“What was that about?” I hear as my back tenses before coming face to face with Mason once again.
“Good lord, you need to wear a bell. I didn’t hear you. You’re like a ninja.”
I press my hand against my heart. Mason raises his eyebrow, and I know I’m caught.
“What? Nothing! It was nothing.”
I’m thankful for my sunglasses providing me with a layer of protection from Mason. I know all too well how he likes to try and read my thoughts like a fucking book. Not working this time. I force another drink to save me from the awkward silence.
“Listen, I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I know we haven’t talked much or hung out lately, which is mostly my fault. Everything with my dad and school has been a lot.”
As soon as he mentions his dad, I feel like a complete asshole. I’ve been so focused on what has changed from our night together, and the time we spoke at the club, that I never thought about how things have been going with him and his dad. With everything he’s been going through, I know he feels pressured to be there for him.
“It’s okay; we both have stuff we’ve been dealing with and have been busy. I hope everything is going okay with your dad.”
He rubs his hand over his forehead, and, for the first time since we ran into each other, I notice the tension in his shoulders and the stress on his face.
“I was hoping maybe we could make plans to hang out soon. The Cavs play the Bulls tomorrow. Maybe, uh, maybe we can watch it together. I just really miss you.”
I swallow the guilt I feel rise in my throat. Whenever we would hang out just the two of us, we often would turn on basketball and watch the games together.
“I miss you, too,” I sigh, smiling at him. It’s the truth. I can’t help but want to see him and hang out with him like we used to.
“That sounds perfect. I will probably be studying. Text me and let me know what time you’re thinking.”
I see Sierra walk out of The Coffee House, looking for Mason. When her eyes land on him, I watch as her face lights up until she sees me staring at her just over his shoulder. I am getting all too familiar with what it feels like to see him the way she does.
“It looks like your friend is waiting for you,” I say, pointing over his shoulder. He turns his head and motions to her he’ll be just another minute.
Turning to face me, he catches me by surprise when he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him. My hands are full with a coffee in one hand and a muffin in the other so I do my best to return the hug without making a mess in the process.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” he asks, whispering into my ear. I feel my heart pound just being close to him again. Taking a deep breath, I inhale his clean scent, leaving me slightly light-headed.
“No,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against his neck before I look up at him. Giving him a reassuring smile, I add, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”