Chapter 44
Reese
As Sophia curls up on the couch, Nova fusses about, fluffing her pillows and draping her in a warm quilt.
I lay out a few issues of Farmers' Weekly, garlic butter mashed potatoes with bacon bits and a tub of Cool Whip within arm's reach on the coffee table.
I crouch down next to her and hand her the remote. "Hun, we're gonna give you some space, okay? But if you need anything, just call out. I'll be right on the back porch if you need me."
Sophia’s blank eyes stare off into space as she gives me an underwhelming nod.
Nova brushes back the hair matted to her forehead. "I'm sorry I've gotta go. I have a gig tonight. But I'll be back tomorrow."
In response, Sophia pushes a wheezy breath and slumps deeper into the cushions.
"She just needs some rest," Nova says unconvincingly as she grabs her guitar case, throws an arm around my shoulder and steers me out onto the porch.
"D'you think she'll be okay?" I ask once we're out of earshot.
With a sigh, Nova collapses against the patio railing. "I hope so," she says solemnly."Is it bad that I wish Josh would get hit by a truck full of bloody pig testicles?"
I seriously consider the question for a second. "Well given what he's done, I'd call that karmic justice but I think it's pretty unlikely."
Nova’s tone carries a hint of optimism. "Stranger things have happened..."
I nod. "True. Stranger things have happened..."
We stand in silence for a moment, letting the warm summer breeze wash over us. "How are you doing?" my friend asks. On the way to Vegas, I’d given her a vague rundown of what happened with Leo but everyone around us was in the mood to party and I didn’t want to put a damper on the occasion, so I opted to keep my sadness to myself. "We never really got the chance to talk about how things ended with Leo.”
My heart wretches at the mention of his name. "There's nothing to talk about, really. We used to be fuck friends and now we aren't." I shrug a shoulder to mask how helpless and heartbroken I feel. I'm exhausted and this exhaustion isn't accompanied by the exhilaration of a sleeplessness night of passion and hot sex. This exhaustion comes from tossing and turning and spending the night wishing things were different.
"Are you sure you're in the right head space to take care of Sophia? You just got your own heart broken."
The answer, beyond a reasonable doubt, is no. I am decidedly unfit to care for another person at the moment. But at least, tending to Sophia’s needs takes my focus off of me. And that's what I need if I'm going to get through this.
I smile at Nova even though she doesn't seem to buy my happy act. "Helping Sophia makes me feel better."
She sighs as she slings her guitar case strap over her shoulder. "That hero complex of yours will take you to your grave." She wraps an arm around me and presses a quick kiss to my cheek. "Sorry I can't stay. I've gotta go. I'm playing a bat mitzah. Last minute gig. They called me after Ricky Martin cancelled so I've gotta bring my A-game, y'know? Plus, they're paying by the hour."
“Go knock ‘em dead, babe,” I call out as she skips down the stairs.
She does an exaggerated curtsy before climbing into her car and speeding off.
I take a few minutes to stand there on the patio and let the sun pour down on my skin. I do my best not to look over at the neighboring yard, at the stairs where Leo first kissed me, at the spot where he offered me his body while telling me his heart was off-limits. Despite my best efforts, pain rains down on me, canceling out the healing effects of the sun.
This isn't helping. It's actually making me feel worse.
I take a few lethargic steps toward my door before the door on the neighboring patio slides open. My stomach coils and all that fight or flight stuff kicks in but I keep my head straight and my movements steady...until I hear his voice.
"Reese?!"
My head snaps in Brenton's direction. "Brent!"
At the sight of the little boy, my mettle and my steel dissolve. I drop to my knees and he runs across the yard into my waiting arms. The reunion nearly has me in tears as I wrap him up in a monster hug.
He pulls out of the embrace but holds tight to my hand as he talks a mile a minute, catching up on the happenings at school and in his favorite cartoons.
When he runs out of steam, he grins up in my face. He’s so adorable. He even has a new haircut and the sling on his broken arm is covered in colorful squiggles. ”I miss you," he tells me. I didn't know it was possible for my heart to break even more. "Why come I don't come to your house anymore?”
The little grammatically-incorrect question hits me in the chest. "Well sweetie, your dad doesn't need my help anymore."
"But you're my friend..." His eyes glitter at me with confusion. The guilt and turmoil I feel is too much.
I pull him in for another cuddle so that I don't have to see that expression on his face. "I'm so sorry, Brenton." The child has been through so much. I hate being another person who let him down.
My mind registers the frantic echo of Leo’s voice. "Brenton! Brenton!" It starts off faint but quickly grows louder and heavy with worry.
I brace myself for the sight of him. I know it’s gonna hurt. He tears through the back door and explodes onto the porch. "BRENTON!"
His steps falter when he sees me. I stand up with shaky knees. His anger drops and something intense and forlorn steps into its place. "Reese..."
"Hi." I'm shocked at my ability to deliver the word in a smooth, casual tone.
He closes the inches between us. “You…Hey, hi…I mean…” He's stuttering and I can't figure out whether that look on his face is good or bad. Luckily, my nerves don't knock my knees out from under me.
I won't allow the mix of emotions I feel when I look at him rope me in. "I was only saying hi to Brent. I have to go."
Brenton throws his arm around my legs and sniffles. I put a kiss in his messy hair then disappear inside.