Chapter 33
Keeland and I stroll unhurriedly down Bonfire Lane. Mr. Lucky leads the way, racing through the open park gates without our instruction as if he knows instinctively exactly where we’re headed.
“Slow down there, boy,” I call after him as we take a seat on a bench near the edge of the jogging path.
The dog circles excitedly around the bench a few times before Keeland reaches down and releases him from his leash. Mr. Lucky dashes off across the grass, stopping a few times to sniff around in the dirt.
“Uh – I don’t think we should do that,” I say warily as I look around at the bigger dogs playing in the park. “I don’t think that Nancy lets him run free like that.”
Keeland waves me off dismissively. “Nancy isn’t here and I’ll never tell. Let the boy have some fun.”
Nancy’s feeling under the weather today, so she asked both me and Keeland to take Mr. Lucky for his morning walk. She wore a conspiratorial glint in her eye as she sniffled her nose and insisted that the both of us should take him to the park together. I didn’t complain because, oddly, I’m starting to enjoy spending time with the guy. It’s weird – not too long ago, I was convinced that I hated him.
I sigh and purse my lips, collapsing against the bench. “If he gets into any trouble, you’re taking the blame.” I take the leash from him and wrap it around my wrist.
Keeland shrugs. “Fine, then.” He smiles at me and our eyes hold for a long moment. I finally look away.
We sit in silence as people jog by, taking their morning run. Keeland leans back against the bench and pulls a scrap of paper and a pencil from his pocket. I watch quietly as Mr. Lucky’s silhouette takes shape on the page with each stroke of Keeland’s pencil. It’s sort of relaxing, watching him draw. His talent is so easy and natural.
Eventually, a blond-headed boy, about six or seven years old, comes charging into the park, chasing after a dark-haired girl of about the same age. The kids shriek and laugh as they run by. Their mothers trail behind.
“Tag, you’re it! Tag, you’re it!” the boy screams gleefully as the little girl does her best to get away.
Keeland laughs and turns to me. “That was totally us when we were kids.”
“I know, right?” Amusement warms my tone. He was constantly chasing after me and pulling on my ponytail when we were younger. His obsession with playfully yanking my hair survives to this day.
“He’s totally in love with her,” Keeland says thoughtfully, his gaze still trailing the children as they run off. “Too bad he won’t figure that out until he’s about 15.”
“Oh, really?” I say lifting an eyebrow at him skeptically.
“Yup.” He’s silent for a while and then, he looks me straight in the eye and says. "Do you know how much I was digging you in high school? "
Wow – that came out of the blue.
I give him a look that lets him know I think he’s bullshitting me. "What? No, you weren't."
"I totally was," he insists.
I shake my head. "You lie. You were always flirting with the popular girls at the back of the class or holding hands with some chick from the private high school at the mall."
"But you were the only one I could be silly with, the only one who knew about my family. You were the only one who knew me." I feel more butterflies in my stomach with each word.
My voice is small, nearly inaudible, when I say. “Whatever…All you did was pull my hair...”
He turns so that he’s facing me head-on. With the crook of his finger, he tips my face toward him. “I’m serious, Sammie. I really liked you…The way that things turned out – the prom and everything – I never meant for that to happen. I’m really sorry about it. I am. I’ve thought a lot about it over the years. I never got to apologize, but I’m apologizing now…I’m sorry, Sam.”
I’ve waited eight years to hear him utter those words. In all my fantasies about him apologizing to me, I’d felt strong and vindicated, on top of the world. But hearing him say it now, I don’t feel that sense of satisfaction that I’d always expected.
I look at him with a small, sad smile. “You know that I sent you a ‘friend request’ on Facebook? You never replied.” I feel silly as I say it, but I’ve got to get it off my chest. It’s something that’s bothered me for a long time.
He gives me a hang-dog expression. “I…I was embarrassed to accept it. I didn’t want to have to explain myself to you. I didn’t want to have to admit that the Masters’ skipped town because we were too broke to keep the roof over our head for one more month. I was embarrassed that we owed that money to your dad. I was embarrassed that we just disappeared without a word. I know that I hurt you. I was a kid with an ego and I didn’t handle the situation properly. I know that…so, I’m apologizing now.”
It can’t really be that simple, can it? I’d always imagined that there’d been some big story as to why Keeland’s family had left Reyfield. “But you weren’t some helpless little kid, Keeland. You were 18, almost 19. You could have called me or emailed me or whatever. To explain what happened.”
“Look, I’m sorry, Sammie,” he snaps. Then, he immediately looks guilty. He lowers his voice and stares down at his feet. “I’m sorry,” he says softly.
My eyes tingle with tears as I stare out at the children again. The little girl trips over her feet and goes flying to the ground. The boy stands back, pointing at her as he laughs cruelly. I sigh. “It’s too bad that it’s always the little girl who ends up getting hurt, huh?” I stand, Mr. Lucky’s leash in hand.
“Cryptic, much?” Keeland says sarcastically, pulling on a blade of grass sprouting beside the bench.
I wipe my fist against my cheek, pushing back a wayward tear.
“Sammie…” He watches me with pleading eyes.
I give him that melancholy smile again, trying to assure him that I won’t break down in tears. I’m not that fragile. “Keeland, don’t. It was a long time ago. I’m over it. Let’s not mention it again.” I call after the dog, “Come on, Mr. Lucky. Time to go.”
But I’m not over it. I may be smiling at him now, I may be having sex with him every chance I get but I have to remember that we can never be anything more than sex buddies. Because a piece of Samantha Trotten’s heart is still broken and Keeland Masters is the one to blame.