CHRIS
Red and I lay sprawled across my bed in a heap of covers. I can tell it’s afternoon by the way the sunlight burns through the windows at such a high angle. She sleeps peacefully against my chest and, by the way it’s making me feel, I know I’m in trouble. I should have known yesterday when I showed up at her house and then lied about breaking my phone.
What is this girl doing to me? How in the fuck did I let it happen? She’s not available, fuck, I’M NOT AVAILABLE.
After Shayla and her father leave the meeting, and it’s just me and Mitch. I ask him if Shayla can legally take my son to Florida, and he said she can. I make him explain to me how in the fuck that’s possible, and he said that he was confident that the judge will sort it out in a fair arrangement during the hearing, but there is nothing I can do until then.
I go home and text Shayla, asking her if she will bring MJ home tonight and that I know by now that he has to be running out of clothes. She says they are headed to Florida in the morning, and she’ll be by in a bit.
She walks in with my son and a large suitcase, like she’s be packing my entire world and taking it away.
“Hey, Daddy!”
“Hi, Frog.”
“Mom and me are going to Disney World!!!” he bellows.
Shayla snakes her way inside my home and goes straight to his room without making eye contact with me once. After he’s packed, she gives him an additional bag to pack a few of his favorite toys, and once he’s out of earshot, I speak up.
“Disney? Really? Great way to buy love, Shayla!” I whisper angrily.
“My mother is taking us to Disney since his school is on spring break. I was only going to Florida to look for an apartment!” she whispers back, harshly.
“Apartments? This shit is not going to happen. Look around you. This is his home, you know that!”
“Well, I got a job offer in Tampa, so it is going to happen. You’re welcome to come, but please, don’t move too close. I couldn’t deal with having to see you every day!”
I laugh, and just as I’m about to respond, MJ walks into the room. I hug and kiss my son goodbye as she tells me that I won’t see him for the next ten days.
I hate how much power she has right now, though only temporary, it still guts me.
My house is completely silent as I pace my living room, reminding myself to breathe.
Three weeks. I have to wait three fucking weeks until the hearing and this fuckery is over, and once that realization settles in, I lose it. Crashing and sounds of breaking glass echo through the house as I try to make everything I can get my hands on feel the anger and pain I’m experiencing. After I tire myself out, I grab my phone and keys and jump in my car. I know that I need to leave before I completely ruin everything I own.
I push my car to its limits down winding roads and empty midnight highways. It doesn’t help. I could go to my parents’ house, or to hang out with the boys, but I don’t want to see any of them. I want her and it pisses me off that I want her. I have more important shit going on; the last thing I want is the need to be with Red, so instead, I drive. When I land back home the next morning, I don’t leave again. I decide not to respond to Red’s text, and I tell myself to ignore my thoughts of her and focus on getting through this hell.
By yesterday afternoon, I had convinced myself that maybe I just needed to get laid. It had been how I worked off frustration in the past, and maybe that was why I wanted to see Red so badly. Deep down, I knew it was bullshit, it was just a weak excuse. If I had any doubt, the moment I saw her standing in the door I knew it for sure, it wasn’t just the sex.
Red stirs, eyes fluttering open, and she catches me watching her sleep, like some sort of creep.
“Good morning.” She smiles.
“Morning. Sleep well?”
She sits up, stretching, and yawns.
“Yes, hey, no nightmare this morning.” She smiles again.
I’m happy that she brought it up because, after that conversation in the hammock last night, the nightmares of her past are what kept me from sleeping.
“Can I ask you a question, Red?”
“Sure.” She shrugs.
“Why do you think Della wanted you to be with Sean?”
Her face scrunches. “I don’t know. I guess because he was more focused on life, not floating through it. Grayson was just so unhinged. The wild bad boy type, and she knew that I would’ve done anything for him. I put off going to Emory for him.”
And now I feel bad for bringing it up.
“I’m sorry, sexy. Grayson and Sean dropped the damn ball big time by losing you. I’d have your ass locked up somewhere,” I laugh, and after I say it, I realize I’m only halfway joking.
One code: No Lying. Two code: No Falling.
I watch the smile spread across her lips, as she leans forward and kisses me. We fall back onto the bed, and I melt into her, steadily reminding my heart that I’m not breaking two code.