The hardest thing Jude ever had to deal with was Zoey leaving him in Vegas. Being on the road was difficult enough, but seeing her for just a couple of days reminded him even more what he was missing.

Sure, there were all kinds of distractions around him, women, drugs, drinking, but he left that up to the other guys who seemed to enjoy living the wild life. For Jude, touring became the necessary evil in his life.

Spending most of the time on the bus writing in his notebook, the guys would sometimes bust his chops about being a bookworm or too quiet. He didn’t care. Writing gave him clarity. It was how he made the time pass so he wasn’t thinking about Zoey all the time.

“You need to have more fun,” Donna said as she sat beside him.

Jude wasn’t sure what to think about Donna. He wanted to like her, she was Richard’s niece after all, but there was something in her eyes that made him not trust her. At the same time, everyone else seemed to think she was cool. Maybe it was just Jude. Everyone deserved a chance.

“I can have fun when I’m home with Zoey,” he said.

“Geez, Zoey, Zoey, Zoey, that’s all we hear about from you. You know you’re going to push her away, right? No girl wants to get phone calls every day or a guy constantly telling her he loves her. Girls think that’s pathetic.”

“Zoey’s different, she’s not like every girl.”

“I don’t know, she seemed like every other girl to me when I met her. Maybe you need to give her a little space. Don’t call her so much.”

“But I miss her,” Jude said. “And I want her to know I’m thinking about her.”

“Well, if you want her to go running, then just keep that up. Remember, she was the one who didn't want to come on tour. She chose to stay home. They don’t say absence makes the heart grow fonder for nothing.”

Donna got up and walked over to Cade, where she sat down with her legs across his lap. Confused, Jude didn’t know what to do or what to think. Maybe she was right. Maybe if he didn’t talk to Zoey every day, he wouldn’t feel so empty and lost without her.

* * *

“Hey, you’re not looking so good, man,” Cade said as he turned around in his seat and looked back at Jude. “You feeling okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jude said. “I’m just tired. I want to go home. I just need to talk to Zoey.”

“So then call her at the next stop. I thought you talked every day.”

“I haven’t spoken to her in four days. Donna said—”

“I gave Jude a little advice on women,” Donna interrupted. “He’s not as suave as you, Cade. But Cade’s right, you’re not looking so well…”

“Probably just a cold,” Jude said. “I’ll be fine.”

“Here, take these,” Donna said as she handed Jude a couple of small white pills from her bag. “They’ll help you feel better.”

Jude took the pills and swallowed them without hesitation. Soon he felt the muscles in his body unclench and relax. Everything seemed to slow down and a calmness overtook him. He nestled back against his seat, which felt softer and comforting. Then he closed his eyes.

“What the hell did you give him?” Cade asked.

“Just some Xanax. He needs to relax,” Donna said. “He was beginning to stress me out. Look, he’s fine. He’s even smiling.”

Jude could hear them talking, but he didn't care. He felt too mellow to reply and his eyes were too heavy to open. Getting some sleep had been high on his wish list. Since leaving Zoey, he hadn’t been sleeping well. Maybe now he could get some rest.

* * *

Donna had been so good to him lately. Jude couldn’t complain about anything, he’d been feeling great for…he didn’t know how long, but he wanted it to continue. He still missed Zoey, but the hours and days passed easier now.

“Jude! Jude!” Cade said as the bus came to a stop. “Hey man, we’re at a big rest stop. Let’s go walk around and get some fresh air. It’s beautiful out there, Jude. We’re in Texas and the canyons and mountains out there are amazing. You gotta see them. Jude?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Jude mumbled.

“Go on ahead, Cade,” Donna said. “We’ll catch up.”

“Jude," Cade said, shaking Jude's shoulder, "they have a whole line of payphones, you can call Zoey. When was the last time you talked to her, man?”

“Zoey?” Jude said, perking up.

“Drink this,” Donna said as she handed Jude a bottle of beer with a larger white pill. “It’ll help wake you up.”

“Thanks,” Jude said as he swallowed the pill then drank down the bottle.

* * *

Sitting at the back of the bus, Jude lit a joint. Donna introduced him to smoking pot to ‘even him out’ as she put it. It definitely worked, he was feeling much better. He hadn’t been writing so much or thinking about Zoey. It was better this way, everything else was really bumming him out. He always felt so much. Being numb and calm was much better.

“This is our last show, Jude,” Cade said as he sat beside him. “Did you talk to Zoey?”

“Zoey? No, she’s fine. She’s busy with school and I’ll see her in LA.”

“Do you even know where we’re at?”

“What difference does it make?” Jude said. “All these cities are the same. I just need to kick ass on stage.”

“When was the last time you spoke to her?”

“Just the other day, right after Vegas.”

“Right after Vegas? Jude, do you realize—” Cade stopped and shook his head. “You have no idea what you have with her. She’s too good for you. You’re messed up right now and maybe that’s my fault because I should’ve stopped this, but you’re a grown man, Jude. Act like it.”

“What do you care, Cade?” Jude said. “Like you’re the model citizen with your chicks under the stage. I’ve had to make my solos longer just so you have enough time to get your rocks off.”

“It’s different. You have someone. I don’t. If I was with Zoey, things would be different. I wouldn’t be getting drunk or high every day. I wouldn’t be under the stage with whatever pussy I could shove my cock into.”

“You know I’ve been faithful, Cade. Zoey’s my girl. I haven’t done anything to disrespect her.”

“But you haven’t spoken to her in weeks.”

“Has it been that long?” Jude asked before looking off into the distance, then focusing back on Cade. “What the fuck do you care anyway? Why are you so interested in my life?”

“Because I love her, okay? I’m in love with your girlfriend. And if you’re not going to treat her the way she should be treated, then maybe you should let her go so she can be happy.”

Jude stared at Cade. He wanted to punch his smug little face so bad, sunglasses and all, but deep down he knew Cade was right. The drugs, the booze, all of it he let take control, and he didn’t even know where they were anymore or what day it was. Had it really been weeks since he last spoke to Zoey?

The bus jerked as it stopped in front of the red painted building on the corner. The sidewalk was crowded with people lined up to get into the club and to meet the band as they exited the bus. Jude, one of the last people off the bus, stumbled as he stepped onto the sidewalk but was caught by a pretty black-haired girl.

“Whoa, you okay?” she asked.

“Huh? Zoey? What are you doing here?” Jude said. “Did you come to surprise me? It’s so great to see you, baby.”

Slipping his arms around her, he leaned on her for support and she shoved him away.

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?” Zoey said. “Look at that building, don’t you know where you’re at?”

Jude looked at the red building at the corner and shrugged. “I lost track. I think I remember Cade saying something about Texas.”

“You’re home. Look, Jude. The Whiskey? Where you always dreamed of playing? And where you’re apparently too fucking gone to even know you’re at? I can’t believe this! All this time I tried convincing myself you missed me and had your reasons for not calling. Now I see what they were.”

Zoey turned and walked away from him, pushing her way through the crowd as she went. Jude clumsily chased after her. Everything rushed back and cleared his head. The red of The Whiskey practically blinded him, and he wondered how he could let himself get so bad.

“Zoey!” he called after her. “Please, Zoey, wait!”

She turned around, tears spilling from her cheeks. “I waited for you! You were fine in Vegas, but look at you now! What happened? Did you spend time in the tent, too? You probably wouldn’t even remember if you did.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I couldn’t stand being away from you. It was too much. It was torture. I wrote you songs, I thought about you constantly. Please, I fucked up. I let this shit get out of control. Let me make it up to you.”

“I…I don’t know,” she said. “I’m so confused right now. I kept grasping for anything from you. Like when Cade called and told me those sweet things you said.”

“Cade called you?”

Jude felt his anger rise, but maybe it served him right. This was the punishment he deserved for neglecting the most important relationship in his life, the woman he loved.

“Yes, he told me you were sick, but that you talked about me all the time. He said how much you love me.”

Jude spotted Cade standing by the entrance of The Whiskey, his arms around a couple of groupies. He couldn’t be mad at him for telling his girlfriend he loved her. If anything, it might be the only reason she was still standing there.

“I’ll make it up to you, Zoey. I promise. Next tour will be different. I swear this will never happen again.”

He meant every word he said, but he couldn't predict the future.