Chapter 17

Adelaide

“I’m so tired,” I complain as I climb out of Mandy’s car. “Thanks for driving. It’s always pure chaos at the bookstore right before the semester starts.”

“I don’t mind.” She gives me a quick smile. “It’s not like I have anything else to do today.”

I look over, checking to see if her face matches her tone. I find her grinning, genuinely not bothered to be here rather than at home.

“You could’ve stayed home, kept Renee company,” I offer.

“No thanks,” she returns quickly. “She came in mad as an old wet hen again this morning.”

I smile at her use of the phrase my mom has said more than once while referencing Renee’s mood swings.

“I guess Elijah isn’t caving after all.”

“She’s going to ruin a good thing.” Mandy walks through the door I hold open for us.

“It’s not as busy as I thought it would be,” I say, smiling when I spot an actual rolling cart available for me.

“It’s Saturday, Addi. First thing in the morning with only a week of summer left. Most of the students are sleeping off a two-and-a-half-month alcohol-induced haze, only to gear up later this evening for the next bender.”

“True,” I agree. “I just wanted to knock this out before I go home and crash. I didn’t get much sleep on the plane.”

“You should’ve just crashed at Mom and Dad’s. I don’t know why you had Daddy drive you all the way home. You could be sleeping right now.”

Stepping up to the kiosk, I look up my name to print my schedule and the related books.

“Renee took me to Atlanta when I flew out, and my car was here. If I hadn’t had him drive straight through, I would’ve been stuck at their house through Sunday evening service. Besides, I promised them I’d be back this evening for dinner after I get some rest.”

“You know they’re going to try to set you up with Gabe again.”

Sighing, I give her a small smile. “Might as well get it over with. The sooner he knows I’m not interested, the better.”

“He gives me the creeps,” Mandy mutters.

“Me too,” I agree. “Just something about him.”

Nodding in understanding, she looks over my shoulder at my book list.

“You want to split this up?” I offer. “Or just stick together?”

“It’s not busy. Let’s just stay together.”

“So, what happened with Renee while I was gone?”

“She hasn’t come out and said it, but I think Elijah broke up with her.”

“Good,” I tell her. “She shouldn’t have been trying to go after something so important to him. I hate that people see it as a challenge and try everything under the sun to take it from them.”

Mandy stares at me for a long moment. “Are we still talking about Renee and Elijah, or have we crossed over into Axton territory?”

I shake my head. “Axton never pushed himself on me like that. If anything, he backed off when I told him I’d never had sex before.”

“A playboy who doesn’t want a virgin?”

I shrug. “I know, right?”

“Crazy thing about Renee is I think she’s upset about it,” Mandy adds.

“She’s never liked being told no, and I doubt she’s ever been dumped before. It’s got to be a serious hit to her ego.”

“No,” Mandy begins. “I think she really liked him. She was actually crying this morning. She tried to play it off like she was just emotional because she was drunk, but I think it’s more than that.”

I point to the science books, and Mandy follows me. “I do feel bad for her,” I say, placing the book I need in the rolling cart. “But she brings this stuff on herself. I can’t believe she’s acting the way she has been. She saw what I went through with Jason. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t make it right.”

“It doesn’t, but I think Renee is only using the whole ‘going after his virginity’ thing as a shield. I don’t think she’d ever put this much effort into anyone unless she cared about them.”

I roll the cart behind me toward the marketing section. “Mom was right, she shouldn’t be acting the way she is. This isn’t just about a pastor’s kid taking it a little too far. It’s just wrong.”

“True,” she replies, her tone saying it’s the end of the discussion. She may not agree with how Renee is acting, but she’s not going to give her opinion on the matter one way or the other. She’s always been a neutral party between Renee and me—one of her best, yet frustrating traits.

My phone chimes with a text, and I hand the book list to Mandy.

“Speaking of our sister,” I say as I pull my phone out of my back pocket and see her name on my screen with a photo attachment.

As soon as it flashes on my screen, I regret opening it. My lips form a straight line as I look down at a snapshot of Axton laying out on a sun lounger, two girls plastered to his chest. I must be a masochist because I stare at the picture, memorizing every aspect of it. The sun reflecting off their glistening tan skin, the way he has a hand gripping each of their butts. He’s wearing shades, but by the way his face is tilted toward the sun, I imagine he’s pretty relaxed and in heaven with the attention they’re giving him. One is stretching her neck to whisper in his ear while the other pays attention to his lower half, her hand behind the fabric of his board shorts.

Renee: I think you dodged a bullet with this asshole.

Mandy sighs with enough force to make the hairs on my neck move.

“I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing this,” I mutter as I close out the text and put my phone back in my pocket.

“She didn’t have to do that,” Mandy agrees.

“I expect nothing less from her.”

Taking the book list back from her, I turn all my attention to it. The section of the bookstore with the accounting books is busier. It’s a class I’ve been avoiding, but with nothing but time on my hands to focus, I decided to register for it.

I wait patiently for two other girls to find their books before moving in to grab mine.

“I’m not saying that,” one girl whispers loudly to the other. “I’m telling you this isn’t the first time I’ve heard it.”

“There’s no way,” the other girl argues. “He’s been a god in this town since before he graduated high school.”

“No matter what he’s been like, Axton Lane is washed up,” the first girl declares, and the hair on my arms stands on end at the mention of his name. From the corner of my eye, I see Mandy whip her head in my direction, but I’m too busy waiting for their conversation to continue.

“I don’t know.” The second girl shakes her head.

“Last night’s party,” she begins, and I lean in, knowing the picture Renee sent me had to have been from that very party. “He got so drunk, the girls he was hanging out with had to drag him back to their dorm room.”

“He’s always drank,” she justifies.

“Has he always been passed out before he sleeps with them?”

The second girl laughs as her cheeks flush a deep pink. “No. Well, in my case, he was very much awake, but that was last year, so I guess anything’s possible.”

“We can come back after we get the other books,” Mandy whispers in my ear, and I let her drag me away, numb to any and everything. I know he’s slept with many girls, I’d just hoped I wouldn’t run into any of them.

“Why does it bother me so much?” I ask Mandy on the way back to our house. The girls, so ready to discuss Axton’s life in public, never moved from the accounting area, so I opted to come back Tuesday to get my last book.

“You care about him,” she answers.

“I don’t even know him,” I counter.

“You’re kind-hearted, Addi. It doesn’t take much for you to attach yourself to people.”

“I wish I was more like Renee,” I mutter as we pull up to the house, my eyes moving toward Renee as she walks down the front steps, no sign of her distress from this morning. She gives us a small wave before climbing in her car and driving off. I’ve been gone for two weeks, and she’s got more important things to do than telling me hello, but I can’t even be mad at her. Right now, I wish I could care as little as she does.

“I can’t believe someone as pretty as you didn’t have plans on a Friday night.”

I try not to cringe when Gabe leans in too close to speak in my ear.

“I haven’t seen my parents in two weeks,” I offer as an explanation.

“How was your trip?” Mrs. Scott asks, proving everyone else at the table is paying more attention to Gabe and me than the impression they’re trying to give off.

“It was nice. I got to work with some of the same people I met last year.” I smile at her, praying she can’t see how much I don’t want to be here with Gabe in my personal space. “It’s always good to see familiar faces when you’re so far from home.”

“I still regret registering for that second summer class,” Gabe laments. “I wanted to be there with you.”

I turn my head in his direction, my brow furrowed. He’s never gone with our group on a mission before, so this is the first I’ve heard of him having any interest.

“I didn’t know you had any interest in mission work.”

“Of course I do,” he says, scooting his chair to close the remaining two inches between us. “Spreading the Word and helping where we can is very important to me.”

“Such a good boy,” his father says, his voice full of pride.

“Unfortunately, I had a Seminary class I missed last year, and it was only available the last part of the summer.” He places his hand over mine on the table. “Next year, we can go together.”

I look down at our hands, surprised I don’t want to shrink away from him. It’s not filled with electricity or any type of warm fuzzy feelings, but repulsion isn’t there either. I watch his eyes, crinkling in the corners with sincerity, and wonder if the whole time I’ve been pushing him away was only because my parents were shoving me toward him so hard. Looking across the table, I find my dad’s smiling face. I love him dearly. He and my mother have been married for nearly thirty years, and they hardly ever fight and are two of the most compassionate, giving people I know.

Would it be so bad to be the wife of a pastor?

If I actually look at the way my life could be, the answer would be a resounding no. There are worse things in a marriage than the monotony I’m terrified I’ll suffer if I stay in Forsyth. I don’t imagine I’d have to worry about where my husband was at night and if he were forsaking our vows by cheating. From what I can tell, Gabe doesn’t drink. Neither does Marcus, if I remember correctly.

“I think that’s a lovely idea,” Mrs. Scott says, pulling me from my thoughts.

“What do you think about next weekend?”

“Huh?” Confused, I look over at Gabe.

“Gabriel was asking you out, dear.”

I almost cut my eyes to Mrs. Scott, but the small grin playing on Gabe’s mouth tells me he’s easily frustrated by his parents’ invasiveness into his life. I think I like him even more.

“I was asking if you wanted to go out. Maybe dinner and a movie? I’m free next weekend if you are.”

My first instinct is to tell him no. It’s what I’ve done for the last four years when he’s hinted at a date, but I stop myself this time. Not ready to fully commit, especially under the watchful gaze of our parents, I remain neutral.

“Maybe.” I smile at him. “School starts Tuesday, so we’ll have to play it by ear.”

“I love that you care so much about your education,” Gabe says.

“She won’t really need it if she stays in town and marries,” his father says, ruining every ounce of kindness I was feeling toward the Scotts.