Chapter 51

Adelaide

“I thought Axton was coming,” Mandy says with a huff as she carries a heavy box from her room and drops it near the front door.

Our living room is filled with moving boxes while most of the furniture and large items were loaded into the U-Haul last night.

“He had one last final, then he was heading this way,” I explain.

“I can’t drive that big truck,” Mandy says. “If they don’t show up, you’re going to have to do it.”

I frown and continue packing dishes. “When was the last time Axton didn’t show up when he said he would?”

She shrugs and disappears down the hallway.

I focus on the task and the fact that even though he’s been distant this week, emotionally and physically, he’s never stood me up. My fears abate when knocking echoes through the apartment.

Mandy makes it to the front door before I can finish wrapping the plate in my hands. I’m jealous of her. The first look of Axton standing on my front porch, knowing he’s waiting out there, that he’s here for me, is my most favorite time of the day.

“She’s in the kitchen,” I hear Mandy say.

When he rounds the corner, standing just inside the doorframe, looking gorgeous in his normal t-shirt and jeans, my mouth waters, just like it has every day this summer we’ve spent together.

“Hey.” I’m breathless at the sight of him, and the tiny smirk playing on his full lips tells me he knows it.

“Almost done?” he asks, his voice just as husky.

“Almost,” I tell him, then go back to wrapping newspapers around the few dishes we’re taking with us. “Mandy was wondering where you were.”

“Mandy, huh?” He steps closer, but maintains the distance we’ve silently agreed on. “Not you?”

I shake my head. “I knew you’d be here.”

I itch to ask him where he’s been, but I’m terrified of the answer. I don’t know a woman in the world who would be okay with their man spending as much time over here as he does, but I can’t rule out the fact that he might be dating. We don’t talk about those sorts of things.

We’ve maintained the friend-zone quite well this summer. We spend time with friends, minimalizing our time alone, and making sure we’re never in our bedrooms together. Even the time I fell asleep on his couch, he covered me with a soft blanket and let me sleep rather than carrying me to his bed. I can admit I was disappointed when I woke up alone in the living room. I’d drifted off, hoping he’d scoop me up and hold me against his body all night.

I finish the dishes, taping them up and allowing Axton to carry them to the back of the U-Haul.

“You sure that’s everything?” Carson asks as he makes one final trip to the moving truck.

“No,” I answer honestly. “But Renee will let us know if we left anything or took something we shouldn’t have.”

“Well, come on, Carson,” Mandy says, angling her head toward the door. “Looks like you’re riding with me.”

Rolling my teeth between my lips, I hide my grin. I may not be able to talk about how I feel about Axton, but Mandy can read me like a book. She’s well aware I’ve been spending as much time with him as possible, and this drive to Atlanta is no different. I don’t want to split my time with him today. We’ve done so much of that in previous weeks.

“It would work best if I took my own car,” I say to Axton as we make our way out of the house.

“We’ll make sure to get your car up there, Addi.” He grabs my hand, the only touch we’ve allowed over the last couple months. “Ride with me.”

Without hesitation, I climb into the cab of the moving truck, smiling when I get in the seat and find Axton’s eyes glued to my legs.

“Ax?” I ask, causing him to shake his head and snap out of his trance.

I grin from ear to ear as he makes his way around to the driver’s seat, but do my best to school my face before he climbs up. Wincing, as if in pain, I watch from the corner of my eye as he adjusts himself before settling in and starting the truck.

“You okay over there?”

He clears his throat and chuckles. “You know how we’ve silently agreed not to talk about certain things?” I nod with a playful grin. “This is one of those things we don’t talk about.”

Keeping an emotional distance from him since that horrible date with Gabe has had more to do with protecting my heart, afraid he was going to crush my soul again. But now, since he’s proven how much he cares for me, I’ve maintained the distance because I know how hard it’s going to be to go days and possibly weeks without seeing him.

The time we spent together this summer seemed like a great idea at the time, but it’s only going to make our separation harder. I can’t imagine things changing back to the way they were when he was on tour.

We make small talk on the way to Atlanta, discussing the internship I got, how he’s already registered for fall classes, and how Carson has managed to work his music into his school schedule. We chatter about everything other than the things we’re both itching to talk about. I want to ask him where he’s been all week. We’ve hung out a couple times, but three evenings, he was unavailable. I know he had finals, but he had those mid-summer as well and he studied for them spread out on my living room floor.

As the distance from Macon grows, so does the knot in my stomach and lump in my throat. His fingers tap on the steering wheel out of sync with the rhythm of the song playing. It betrays his nervousness, or maybe he’s feeling just as apprehensive about this move as I am.

Axton guides the truck, backing it into the closest spot he can find near our apartment.

“How about you grab the few bags with groceries in them and Carson and I will bring in the rest?”

“I want to help,” I assure him as he helps me out of the truck. Carson and Mandy have also pulled up and walk toward us. “I’m not going to just sit inside while you guys carry everything in.”

“Don’t argue, Addi,” Mandy says with a quick smile. “If the big, strong men want to carry everything in, no sense in not letting them.”

Carson rolls his eyes as Axton nods in agreement. “Listen to your sister. She’s a brilliant woman.”

Once Carson rolls up the door on the U-Haul, we all reach in and grab bags and boxes, needing to clear them before we can get to the furniture.

“Besides,” Axton says as we hop on the elevator to the fourth floor, “you guys can unload all the kitchen stuff while we bring everything in. We won’t know where you want it, and it’ll only take more time later if you’re helping us unload the truck.”

“I’m not going to argue with you,” Mandy says.

“Hmmm,” I say as we step off the elevator and make our way down the hall to our door.

“What’s up?” Carson asks.

“I think someone else was moving in this week.” I point to the door as we pass it. “There were a ton of boxes out here when we came to get the keys a few days ago.”

“I imagine everyone will be moving in soon, since they just finished the repairs from the water leak.” Axton steps aside so I can unlock our door. “Bet it was super easy for people looking for a place to get in here.”

“Yeah,” Carson agrees. “I don’t imagine many people would be able to wait a couple months to move like you girls were.”

“Let’s do this,” Axton says with more enthusiasm than I’ve ever seen in anyone facing manual labor.

For the next couple hours, the U-Haul is unpacked and so is every necessary box. We don’t bother with hanging things on the wall. Axton offers to help with that tomorrow when he brings my car back. Instead, we sit, cellphone playing an upbeat playlist, and eat delivery pizza.

By the time we finish, we’re all nearly in food comas.

“I’m going to bed,” Mandy says as she stands with her paper plate. “Thanks for helping us out, guys.”

I follow my sister into the kitchen with the rest of the trash before walking Axton and Carson to the front door.

“You guys can stay,” I offer.

“You only have one couch,” Axton says. “And I’m not cuddling with Carson.”

“I’m a great cuddler,” Carson argues, but steps out into the hallway with a quick wave goodbye.

He’s going to be back tomorrow, but I feel like there’s already years and a million miles between us. The tears sting my eyes without second thought.

“Hey,” he says, gently cupping my chin and forcing me to look up at him. “I’ll be back tomorrow and every day after.”

He’s planning to sacrifice so much, and my stubborn bid at self-preservation seems so ridiculous right now.

When his lips meet my forehead, my eyes flutter closed and my hands grip his t-shirt.

“Get some sleep,” he whispers, lips tickling the crease in my furrowed brow. “It’ll be morning before you know it.”

He pulls away first, as if he knows I’m unable. When the door clicks shut, I can’t help but lean my head against it, needing to stay as close to him as possible.

“You going to take the truck back, then head home?” Axton asks Carson as they walk toward the elevator.

“Yep. I’ll have her car back here by eleven,” Carson replies.

“The sooner, the better,” Axton says, pulling a chuckle from Carson.

I lift my eye to the peephole, watching as they fist bump. Carson steps onto the elevator and Axton turns, walking back toward my door.

My heart rate thunders at the thought that he changed his mind about staying. I vow to make him sleep in my bed. Even if he’s the only one staying, I don’t want him on the couch anymore. I need him in my arms.

Only, he doesn’t come to my door. He stops two doors down. Through my distorted view, I see him put a key into the lock and disappear into the apartment where the boxes were lined up a few days ago. My pulse pounds in my ears and more emotions than my body can handle overwhelm me.

I pace the length of my living room for Lord knows how long, trying to figure out what to do next.