Chapter Twenty-Three
Evie
Veronica is patting me on the back since the biscotti I was chewing on went down the wrong tube. I lift a hand to tell her to stop and reach for my café au lait to wash the harsh chunks of biscotti down my throat.
“What did you just say?” I must have misunderstood because I swear I just read Veronica’s lips and watched her sign that Colton was her son.
“I’m sorry Evie,” she signs, and she looks like she’s almost in tears. “Jake knew I was born and grew up in Chicago. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him that his father was a bad man, so I told him I was inseminated…” she shakes her head as tears fill her eyes.
“Veronica, my goodness. This is…I mean I know Jake always wondered about his dad even though he thought he was just a sperm donor…” I trail off, my hands falling into my lap. I feel winded and out of sorts even though I don’t have all the pieces to this story together in my mind. Veronica holds her head in between her two hands, pressing her hairline high. She looks completely distraught.
She turns to me so I can see her. “I lied to Jake, Evie. I couldn’t tell him that his father didn’t want him, so I lied,” she says, and I suddenly hate that we are having this conversation in a public place. I should have never brought it up here because I feel sick to my stomach.
“Oh my gosh.” I hold my stomach as I feel the sting of vomit at the back of my throat. “His father…he was like my mom. Didn’t want to deal with having a child that was deaf?” As the words leave my mouth, my heart aches for Jake. It was so much easier knowing there wasn’t a male figure in his life because of his mom’s choice, but this changes everything. Knowing your parent didn’t want you or was ashamed of you, does things to your insides, your psyche, things that are so dark and miserable that I hate for Jake to feel those emotions.
Veronica nods. “We didn’t know Jake couldn’t hear at first. By the time he was two, it had become clear he was born deaf. We had done some initial hearing tests on him, and the results were inconclusive. They thought maybe he had fluid in his ears that was distorting the tests. His father had a hard time accepting Jake was deaf. He became angry about it. He was mostly in denial. We drifted apart, and one night things just blew up. I was about to take a bath. I lit some candles in my room and in the bathroom to try and relax. Things had just gotten so bad between James and me. James had plans. He didn’t want me spending all my time dealing with a deaf child when he wanted to run for the role of the state attorney. He wanted me to be the epitome of first lady dedicating my time outside our home but with two small boys…” she explained, and I could see her shaking. “I’ve made some terrible choices in my life. I was young, naïve, James swept me off my feet. I didn’t realize what his thirst for power meant. I didn’t even know people would go to such extremes to get power. We were drifting apart not coming closer together. He wanted to take a step back from his role at the firm and run for state attorney. He had always aspired to become president. His family wealth was never enough to satiate him; neither were his accomplishments in the legal field. The night he sent me away we fought. In his rage, he knocked over a candle. We were screaming so loud at each other that we didn’t notice the material cover of the dresser catch fire. It spread to the curtains, and everything just began burning.” She was trembling so hard I didn’t know what to do. “Oh Evie,” she sighed so sadly.
I swallow hard trying to digest her words, but the coffee shop feels like it’s spinning.
“He told me to get Jake from his nursery, and he would save Colton, but the fire spread so fast, the house had filled with smoke,” she paused swiping at the tears from her eyes. “I grabbed Jake and ran through the smoke-filled house. I accidentally hit his shoulder on a corner wall. Since it had metal casing inside the frame, it was burning hot. That’s how Jake got his scar.”
I watch Veronica as she signed and her mouth moved. Her story was too much to process. It wasn’t what I expected to find out when I confronted her about the burn. Not in my wildest dreams would I think that Colton and Jake were brothers. I just thought she was hiding something else. Something a lot simpler than the devastating story she just shared. Watching her talk about Jake and Colton makes my stomach feel hollow especially when I remember Colton’s harsh words for his mother. A woman he hated. A woman that left him behind and never looked back. How could sweet loving Veronica be that woman?
“I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I feel like such a fool for digging this up now. I was just trying to look out for Jake…”
“Don’t blame yourself. I don’t blame you.” Her smile was sad. “I’m glad that you care enough about Jake to look out for him the way you do. It’s important to me for you to know that I didn’t plan on leaving the night of the fire. When we reached the curb, James told me to take Jake and leave. I had nothing Evie, just the clothes on my back and a two-year-old son in my hands. James told me never to return. I begged and pleaded with him to let me take Colton, but he said that if I ever tried to contact Colton, he would contact one of Jeffrey Davis’s boys to kill us.”
My mouth went dry at the thought that Colton was left with such a cruel man. In our conversations together he was always sad about his mom leaving him, but he was grateful to have his father. The name Jeffrey Davis sends sirens going off in my head. Then it clicks. He’s one of Chicago’s most notorious drug dealers. “The drug dealer?” I ask for confirmation.
“Yes, James was a defense attorney. He knew all kinds of bad people, Evie. He defended murderers, drug dealers. Jeffrey Davis was loyal to James because James was top notch and kept him out of jail. You see, James wanted to enter politics, but his past was shady. He knew that if he entered politics, his opponents could find things out that would end his career before it even started. He was blinded by rage, greed, and power when he told me to leave. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want either of my boys getting hurt. I know Colton is governor now. I hated that Jake wanted to move back to this city. It’s why I didn’t want to come with him. I figured it was better I stayed away. Only I missed you guys so much. I figured enough time passed. Only the first night I’m back I hear you’re dating my other son.”
As her words penetrate, I remember her reaction to hearing I was dating the governor. The wine glass she had been drinking from fell from her hand and broke into small shards of glass. “Shit.” I bite my lip. I’m speechless. In the moments after she broke the glass, I believed she was shocked that the governor would want me. A deaf girl. In reality, her odd reaction had been because I was dating her other son.
“James is a bad man, Evie. I hate that you’re involved with Colton. I know he’s my son, but he was raised by a man whose endgame is power. I can’t imagine how that poor boy was raised.” She shakes her head, and I see the guilt seeping through her pores. Jake and Veronica lead such simple lives out in California I would never have thought that Jake’s father was James Mathis. James Mathis was old money. His father started a chocolate company in the early 1900’s, and the wealth only blossomed and matured from there. I hate that I know this information, but I had to google Colton. I was letting him into my home and around my son. Now I just feel guilty for looking him up because he’s a good man. No matter who his father is, Colton is different.
I shake my head then sign. “Veronica you would be proud of him. He’s a good person. He does a lot of charitable things,” I begin when I see that she’s shaking her head.
“Oh honey, the rich are always involved in charity. That doesn’t mean they’re good.”
“Veronica, you’re wrong. Colton is a good man. He thinks you didn’t want him though. He has trust issues.” I feel like my insides are bursting. I can’t say those things to Veronica. Those are Colton’s secrets. He wouldn’t want me to share.
Veronica places her hand over mine. “Honey, listen. You can’t tell Colton. You can’t tell Jake. If James found out that I told the boys the truth he would have me and Jake killed,” she says, and I see the fear in her eyes. She isn’t playing a game. She is scared senseless.
“Those boys are grown, men. James raised Colton. You raised Jake, but they are living their own lives now. You can’t surely believe that James is still a threat?”
“He is, Evie. Don’t you think I hate this? Don’t you think I’ve thought about Colton all these years? How he’s getting by? You couldn’t possibly understand the guilt I felt for leaving him behind. Then Carter was born, and he looked so much like Colton as a boy, those light blue eyes looking back at me were always a reminder of the son I left behind. Colton has always been in my heart and soul.” She shakes her head, and I see that she’s trembling as she lifts her coffee cup to her lips. “I had no choice. I feared for Jake’s life. I still do. I hate that Jake lives in this city. I wish you guys could have settled in Seattle, San Francisco, Portland… Jake was insistent on Chicago. It made me so nervous knowing you all lived here.”
My hand comes up to my face when I remember the first time I saw Colton. Jake and I were being foolish and almost got arrested throwing cream pies at the governor with a bunch of other protesters. Jake didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know the governor was his brother. Gosh! This is so freaking messed up.
“We have to tell Jake,” I urge. “He deserves to know.”
“I can’t, Evie. If you love Jake and you want to ensure his safety you won’t say anything,” she pleads with me.
“I told Jake that I didn’t think he got his scar from riding his bike. I put doubt in his mind. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…” I begin to apologize.
“You couldn’t have known, sweet girl. You were always so perceptive. I know you love Jake, please…please help me keep him safe.”
“You can’t surely believe that James is still a threat?”
“Evie, tell me one thing. Does James want Colton to run for the presidency?”
I sigh. “Yes, but Colton doesn’t want to run. He hates the pressure his father puts on him. You know he used to volunteer for the Peace Corps?” I add because I want Veronica to see that Colton is a good man too.
“You’re falling for him, Evie, aren’t you?” Her question looks more like defeat. At least that’s what her features are telling me. As she asks me the question, I know that yes, I’m falling hard for Colton Mathis.
She closes her eyes and nods her head. When she opens her eyes, she pleads with me. “I know I’ve put you in a bad position by telling you all this. But I also know that you wouldn’t put Jake’s life at risk. I wouldn’t put it past James to harm Carter. I want to tell you that it would be best if you broke things off with Colton but I sense your attachment.”
“Veronica…I…” I don’t know what to say. Hearing her mention that Carter could be in danger just about guts me. “We need to get out of here. I need some air.” I look around the coffee place cautiously to make sure no one overheard the conversation.
“Sure.” She smiles warmly but the guilt and fear creases at the corner of her eyes. We leave the coffee shop and the fresh air isn’t enough to release the tension I feel in my chest. Jake and I don’t keep secrets. It’s a simple fact. We’ve stayed close friends because we are open and honest with each other. Our friendship is based on the fact that we share with each other openly. Even if we know the other person won’t like the opinion much. It’s why Jake felt so comfortable to give me his opinion on Colton. As I think of Colton my stomach turns, he just opened himself up to me. Trust is such a big thing for him too. I know he hasn’t trusted the other women he’s dated but he promised to take a chance on me. I told him I was trustworthy. How can I keep this from him? If he ever found out, he would hate me. Our relationship would be over. Problem is Veronica is not a drama queen. I believe every word she said about James being a bad man and using his connections. I could never live with myself if something happened to Jake or Colton. I can’t believe that Jake and Colton are brothers. I’ve slept with two brothers. It just seems wrong. They don’t look much alike. I would never have guessed it. I walk down the street with Veronica feeling out of sorts.
“What time is Colton dropping Carter off?” Veronica’s voice breaks the haze in my head.
“Shit.” I look down at my cell phone. It’s already five o’clock. “I should go. Colton said he would have Carter home by six and I promised him spaghetti and meatballs tonight for dinner.”
“You’re a good mother, Evie. Please don’t hate me and please understand that I did the best I could under the circumstances.” She looks to me, and now I see the guilt in her eyes from years of pain that I thought was there because she had a hard time raising a son as a single mother on a low salary.
“I know.” I lean forward and give her a hug my mind still spinning in circles. “I should call an Uber.”
She nods. “Okay, but please promise me,” she says, and I see the pleading look in her eyes. I still can’t believe she’s Colton’s mother too. Although now that I truly look at her, I see that he has her eyes. Eyes I’ve been looking into for the last number of weeks. There was no way I would have made the connection.
“Okay.” I nod trying to get my bearings about me. I just don’t know how long I can keep that secret. Not with Colton and me getting more serious as the days pass.