Chapter Twenty-Seven
Evie
Colton dropped me off yesterday afternoon. His revelation virtually put an end to our mini vacation. That and the fact that his father purposely ruined our trip. At least something positive came out of it because Colton isn’t completely blind where his father is concerned. I felt so sorry for him as he processed the effects of his father’s actions not only on our relationship but his life. If only Colton knew the secrets I carried which made the flight back yesterday all the more difficult. The secret was on the tip of my tongue for most of the flight. Only I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I reminded myself that it wasn’t my secret to tell. Even though in my heart of hearts, I knew Colton wouldn’t see it that way.
He’s sent me numerous text messages since he dropped me off yesterday afternoon. I told him to give me space to think. His response was time and space aren’t on our side and that he needs me. ‘Need,’ that word resonated in my mind all night. He needs me, and his note said he was falling in love with me. I didn’t realize how much I was craving the love of a man until I met him. Until our lips touched and I felt that unique electricity.
“Earth to Evie,” Jake signs. It’s a beautiful spring afternoon. So when Jake texted earlier about meeting at the Navy Pier, I thought it was the perfect thing to do, spend time with family to gain perspective. It wasn’t helping because I had a one-track mind. All my thoughts were consumed by Colton.
I blinked twice as Jake tried to snap me out of my daze. “Sorry,” I apologize to Jake. I’ve been reticent and anti-social.
“Are you upset about him? You know you can talk to me if you are. I would never betray your confidence, and you’re still my best friend.” His lips are pursed together, and I sense his disappointment that I felt the need to pull away from him after everything we have been through together. It reminds me of the time I had my first kiss with Matthew Smart in ninth-grade. Jake and I had gone to a house party. Matthew’s house was a mansion, and his parents weren’t home. I’d been crushing on Matthew for a while, so when he invited me up to his room to see his telescope, I didn’t hesitate. We spent some time star gazing. I was pretty stargazed myself because Matthew was a sophomore. He was built and good-looking, and he was interested in me. We french kissed in his room that night, and when I returned to the party, I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off my face. I bumped into Jake, and he said those same words to me. You know you can talk to me. I would never betray your confidence. Good old Jake also let me cry on his shoulder a week later when I found out that Matthew kissed Kayla Cummings at a party at his friend Derek’s house the following week.
I sign to him that I know and my gaze warms as I stare back at him. Always loyal Jake. “He wants to run for president. I can’t be by his side when he does; I don’t want the attention or that lifestyle. I’m happy the way my life is, I like my job. I worry about how that kind of attention will affect Carter. It scares me to think what would happen to my life if people knew I was the woman in Colton Mathis’s life.” Emotions pour out of me in a cleansing way.
“That’s not easy,” he signs. “I’m sorry you’re torn up.” His smile is consoling.
“Thanks.” I force a grin. This is Jake, and I should be comfortable discussing relationship stuff with him, but not when the other man is his brother. I don’t know that Jake would be supportive right now if he knew that tidbit of information.
“Come,” he signs. “Let’s take Carter on the Ferris wheel. Maybe it’ll distract you.” He winks and takes my hand knowing full well I’m not a fan of heights. I can’t even respond as he walks briskly. I sure would be distracted because I’d have a panic attack instead. I’m happy on the ground. Jake and I are walking hand in hand as he tugs me toward the Ferris wheel when I spot Colton. What is he doing here? My heart thrums in my chest like it usually does when he’s near. My eyes rake over him. He’s wearing a pair of khakis and a white polo. He looks sophisticated yet casual. When my gaze meets his, I notice the scowl on his face. I messaged him back this morning saying I’d be spending the day with Carter, Jake, and Veronica. I didn’t expect him to show up at the Navy Pier. My usual excitement over seeing him turns to sheer panic when I remember my company . Panic bubbles in my chest, and my gaze darts around looking for an escape route.
“Nothing between you guys. Huh!” he snaps, his jaw hardened. I see the pain and disdain rolling off his features.
Jake immediately drops my hand, but he doesn’t read lips so well, so I’m not sure he picked up on what Colton said. My heart beats rapidly in my chest knowing that this is probably the first time in a long time that these brothers have come face to face. Only they don’t realize they’re brothers…my mind goes into overdrive, and I feel like a shaky mess. The truth is too much of a burden for me to carry right now.
I swallow hard and try to get my bearings before I speak. I fear saying the wrong thing or letting the truth slip. “Colton. There’s nothing between us. I was just telling Jake how confused I am about you, and he wanted to take me on the Ferris wheel to distract my thoughts,” I explain, hoping my tone is leveled. I was happy that Veronica was nowhere near us since she took Carter to play one of those games where you shoot a water gun at a target and try to win a race. Only my hope is vanquished when I see my son charging toward us excited and holding a stuffed animal. He must have won the game. Veronica is hot on his tail.
“Colton, hey.” My son smiles widely running up to Colton holding his hand up for a fist bump. It makes my heart ache and swell all at once that Carter and Colton have become close.
“Hey, buddy. You having fun?” Colton asks just as Veronica comes running up to us out of breath.
She looks like she’s huffing for air. “Carter you shouldn’t run off on grandma like that,” she says and signs, until her eyes meet the sight of Colton standing with us, and her eyes bug out of her sockets. Her lips are moving, but she doesn’t make any sense which tells me she must be mumbling something and who knows what. I’m pretty sure the last time she saw a live version of Colton he was five.
I have to try to smooth over her awkward behavior, so I take a step forward and again hope my voice is leveled. “Veronica. This is Colton,” I say, introducing her as if she wouldn’t know her freaking son. My heart beats at a staccato in my chest, and I feel like I want to pass out. Veronica seems to be a shaky mess too. Her hands are flailing in front of her before she wraps them around her middle like she’s trying to protect herself or maybe disappear into thin air.
Colton gives her a curious look like maybe she isn’t well and doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the fact. I just want to take my son and run anywhere but here.
“Nice to meet you,” I see her mutter. I can only imagine what she sounds like.
“And this is Jake, Carter’s dad,” I motion to Jake and sign, needing to draw the attention away from Veronica who isn’t much of an actress at the moment, even though it had been her dream to become one a lifetime ago.
Jake gives Colton a warm smile and extends a hand, nodding his head since he doesn’t like to use his voice.
Colton eyes Jake warily. I see the questions dancing in his eyes as he wonders if I told him the truth about why Jake and I were holding hands.
When they break their handshake, Jake signs for me to say that I should tell Colton he has nothing to worry about. That he was just trying to console me since I was sad. I give Jake a loving grin. And I go on to deliver the message.
“Thanks for clarifying that. I appreciate it.” Colton’s hardened demeanor softens as he gives Jake a small smirk. I relay the message to Jake through ASL.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Veronica says. “We should get going. We have our reservation…Carter is looking forward,” she says, and I know it’s her way of getting us away from Colton and this more than awkward situation. I go along with her story as my need to flee is heightened. My heart is hammering too fast in my chest, and I fear fainting.
“Colton, can we talk later? We have plans,” I explain, feeling my stomach sink. He deserves so much more of an explanation from me. Hell, he deserves an invitation to eat out with us. Only I can’t do that because the whole situation is too overwhelming. I’m just relieved that Carter doesn’t cut in or call out that there is no actual reservation.
“Um, yeah… sure okay,” Colton says with both hands tucked into the front pockets of his khakis. “You’ll text me later?” he asks looking at me with a hopeful gleam in his eyes and all I can think is that I’m a fraud. A horrible terrible no good fraud. I’ve lied to this good-looking, powerful man that doesn’t open his heart, but opened it to me.
I nod and lean up to give him a kiss on the cheek, and his face lightens. My heart skips a beat from the scent of his cologne and the mere contact of touching him. “Bye Colton,” I whisper close to his ear. This needs to be goodbye because our situation is too complicated. Our relationship was doomed from the start.
“Yeah,” he says, and his mood is somber almost like he can read my mind. “Nice meeting you all. Stay cool, Carter.” He gives my son a high five and turns to look at me one more time. His gaze is too much, filled with emotion that pierces right through me. As much as I want to reach out to him, I can’t. Not now. Veronica just acted like there was something very wrong with her. Jake is eyeing his mother like she’s lost it and me carrying this burden of truth is just too much to handle.
I motion for Carter to follow me. Veronica immediately signs, “Let’s go.” Veronica, Jake, Carter and myself walk away from the Navy Pier like the cops are after us. Jake and Carter are asking continuously what’s wrong. Veronica doesn’t say anything, so I opt to keep my mouth shut too.
When we reach the street, I tell Jake and Veronica that Carter and I will catch an Uber home.
“But Grandma said we were going for pizza.” Carter pushes out his lower lip. I guess he must sound whiny.
“Sorry, not tonight.” Veronica smiles and pats his head. “Grandma is a little under the weather. I’ll take you for pizza soon.”
Carter scrunches his brows together and makes an adorable, but angry face. He usually uses that look to get his way with me. To his credit, I have a hard time saying no in general to him. He’s a good kid. “Fine, we can order in,” I concede. “Please let’s just go home,” I say, and it doesn’t fly past me that me and Veronica are only using words, and not signing which means we have left Jake out of the conversation. He is going to have some choice words for his mother very soon, and I’d rather not be around when that happens.
I reach over to hug Jake. “I’ll text you later,” I motion to him.
“You better because I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and my mother but I want answers,” he signs abruptly. I wince. I was expecting that. I don’t know what Veronica is going to do, but I’m leaving the ball in her court.
Veronica gives me a terrified look. I lean in and give her a hug and whisper, “Good luck,” in her ear. She gives me a knowing look. Then I take my son by the hand and walk two blocks needing the distance before I call the Uber car.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
“Nothing honey, don’t worry about it. Everything is going to be fine.” I give my son a strong hug holding him close to my heart. As I say the words, I want to believe them, but I know things aren’t going to be fine. They are going to blow up, and I don’t know how we are all going to deal with the repercussions of what they mean.