It took everything in me not to punch a hole through the wall. He’d approached Esme. Talked to her. Probably scared her half to death. I had never seen him in person. But the pictures of him and my dearly departed wife, kissing and rolling around in bed together, were seared into my brain. As much as his fucking face had been burned into my memory, I still was not prepared for him to show up out of the blue. And I damn sure wasn’t prepared for him to be anywhere near Esme.

Derek took a picture of the guy. His bloody nose and bleeding cut on his forehead weren’t enough to make him unrecognizable, I knew it was him, the man who’d taken so much from me and could take so much more.

Mel stared back at me, her eyes wide and her lips trembling. Was she a lot more devious than I thought? How did she know Allan? What was her connection to him and how long had she been planning this? From the start? I didn’t know, but I needed to find out. His presence upended the thin thread of control I had over anything happening in my life right now.

“Answer me,” I shouted and she jumped. I hated that I made her feel this way, but I needed to be sure. I needed to know she wasn’t a threat. As much as I wanted her, I’d never put her ahead of Esme. I’d die before I let anything happen to my little girl.

“I didn’t. I didn’t,” she said, taking a big gulp of air. “My hands were cold. Derek was being nice and offered to get me gloves. That’s all.” I was usually a good judge of character. I’d had to be over the years, especially with what happened with Beth.

I also learned that people loved to fill in a silence. They couldn’t stand to have it fill the air. I observed her. Tried to ferret out any deception on her part because that would be all I needed to have her put in a hole so deep, she’d dream of seeing sunlight again. But nothing about her screamed that she’d been involved. Derek told me the scene he came upon when he got back to the park. How she had Esme behind her, protecting her. I wanted that to be true. I wanted that to be the whole story. But I’d been burned before. Was my infatuation clouding my judgement?

“Who was he?” I asked, trying again, attempting to calm my voice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know who that was. I’d never seen him before in my life. I didn’t have anything to do with what happened this afternoon. I was so scared. The most scared I’ve ever been in my life,” she said, emphatically.

I stared at her, soaking her in. I don’t know how long it was, but she held my gaze. Unwavering. I saw the shine of tears in her eyes. It wasn’t guilt I saw there but fear, fear for Esme and what happened today. I ran my hands through my hair. I had to believe she hadn’t done this. I couldn’t stand it if she were involved.

Taking her out of the equation still left me with Allan. From the talk he had with Derek, he was clean now. Congratu-fucking-lations, Allan. It would have been nice if he’d been clean when he started his affair with my late wife. Beth’s childhood sweetheart. Had I known what would happen, how she’d rip my life apart, I’d have never married her, but then I wouldn’t have Esme. Every shitty thing that happened in my life up until the moment Esme was laid in my arms wasn’t something I could entirely regret.

Allan was a problem, though. I’d thought was dead by now. An overdose or something else, but he was here now. He knew all my wife’s secrets, ones I thought died with her, and ones that could destroy everything. Derek scared him off for now, but he’d be back. I had no doubt in my mind, he’d be back. I didn’t know what to do and that uncertainty shook me to my core.

“Okay, I believe you. I’m sorry,” I said, squeezing the back of my neck. My muscles bunched so tight, I felt like I’d snap something at any moment. She staggered back against the wall. And the tears that had welled up in her eyes finally spilled over. Her shoulders shook as she clasped her hands over her mouth. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have gone near her, but I couldn’t help it. I’d contributed to her sorrow. I was part of the reason she broke down like this.

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight against me as she cried into my shoulder. She gripped the back of my shirt, fisting it in her hands. Her tears soaked through my shirt and onto my chest. The wetness tickled my skin.

I could kick myself for losing my temper and scaring her. I let the fear of Esme being harmed or worse, taken, over power my emotions to the point that I couldn’t think or see straight. I lost my shit, and being the asshole that I am, I took it out on Mel.

That being said, I didn’t think her breakdown was entirely because of me.

I understood the heart-pounding, and panic that weave themselves together into a blanket that threatens to choke you when your child disappears. I felt the same way I had that moment when Derek told me Esme was gone. The day I met Mel.

After a few minutes, Mel’s shoulders stopped shaking and she wiped her face with her hands. I grabbed a few tissues for her and she mumbled a ‘thanks’ before letting out the almightiest of nose blows that left my ears ringing.

I cracked a smile and went over to my bar and grabbed two glasses. I uncorked the crystal decanter and poured a finger of whiskey for us both. Melanie finished wiping the tears from her face and glanced up as I dangled the tumbler in front of her. She took it from me using both hands and downed it in one gulp, coughing and thumping her chest. I threw mine back and enjoyed the slow burn that spread through my chest, spreading out to my fingers.

“Thanks,” she said, giving me a small smile. I nodded and took the glass from her. I hated the way she was looking at me, that I could still see the lingering signs of fear and hurt in her eyes. I hated that she saw that side of me. That I can’t be that knight in shining armor the rest of the world sees me as. But the way she looks at me, tells me she sees the real me.

“I figured it was the least I could do,” I said. If she didn’t quit after this, I’d be really fucking lucky. I accuse her of trying to kidnap Esme and she has a breakdown in my arms. “Thanks for looking after her today, Mel. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her,” I said.

Her head whipped up and she gawked at me. I glanced behind me trying to figure out why she looked at me like I had two heads. “What?”

“That’s the first time you’ve ever called me Mel,” she said, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Is it?” I didn’t feel like that was true. I always called her Mel in my head when I thought about her. I moaned Mel when my restraint was at its breaking point and I had to take myself in my hand and dream about being with her, about touching her soft curves, as I stroked myself, lost in the vision of her. Her name had been on my lips more times than I wanted to think about. She invaded my thoughts to the point that I wondered if I would ever be able to think about anyone else.