The smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. Shannon had on her funny frog oven mitts. I loved it when she would talk to me in the funny voices with those puppets. But now my eyes were glued to the chocolate chip cookies that she pulled out of the oven.

“Back up, Mel. These are super hot.” She set the baking sheet on the stove and grabbed the second tray.

“Can I have one now?” The smell was overpowering me. I wanted to gobble up every single one right away. My feet kicked back and forth in my chair at the kitchen table. My homework was spread out in front of me, along with a tall glass of milk. Carrots and grapes were in a little bowl. My brain food, Shannon called them.

“Not until after dinner. These are because you did such a great job at your violin recital.” I’d been so nervous. I had only been playing for a few months, but the instructor said I was a natural.

“Please, can I have one now?” I put on my best dopey puppy face, sticking out my bottom lip. Shannon burst out laughing.

“Okay, fine, kiddo. But you better eat all your veggies at dinner.” She picked up one of the piping hot cookies off the tray and put it on a small plate in front of me. I loved her so much. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her to me. She always smelled so good.

“I love you, Shannon.”

“I love you too, kiddo,” she said, rustling my hair.

I jolted awake, covered in sweat. My heart thundered in my chest. The same nightmare plagued me for years. I’d never been able to shake it. I glanced over and jumped.

Roy’s knees were the first thing I saw. He sat on the coffee table, less than two feet away. Any other time, I’d roll over and pray he’d go away. It wasn’t the first time I’d caught him watching me. But I couldn’t afford to make waves.

I paid Jeanine a portion of the rent. I wasn’t a freeloader, but I wasn’t on the lease or anything. I couldn’t roll over this time because he was so close. I didn’t trust him. His cheap cologne filled my nose and made me want to puke. As my eyes adjusted, I saw his arm working up and down on his dick. His sweatpants were pulled down in the front and he stroked himself, staring right at me. I yelped and jumped up onto the couch. There was nowhere else for me to go. He was too close.

“What the fuck, Roy?” I bellowed. My heart pounded in my throat.

“Just lay back down, Mel. I’ll be finished soon,” he said, still palming his dick, like it was completely natural for him to be jerking off in front of me while I slept. My stomach turned and my fight-or-flight instincts went into high gear. It was the same nauseous dread I lived through so many nights growing up.

He leaned forward and, out of instinct, I hit him as hard as I could right in the nose. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t knee him in the balls. He’d probably like that.

“You fucking bitch,” he said, with his hands over his nose. Blood spilled out from between his fingers and I held my hands out ready in case he came after me.

“What the hell’s going on out here?” Jeanine walked out of the bedroom and froze, taking it all in. I gulped air through my constricted throat.

“Jeanine, he—”

“Why the hell is your dick out, Roy?” she screeched.

“Jeanine. I was sleeping and when I woke up. Roy was sitting on the table with his dick in his hand.”

“She’s lying, babe.” He finally took a step back from the couch and cupped his hand over his nose, blood covering his lips.

“What?” I shouted.

“I was just walking to the bathroom and she called me over to the couch.” He took Jeanine’s hand in his. She tried to tug it away, but he held onto her.

“That’s a lie!” I got off the couch, my feet sticking to the peeling laminate flooring. He kept talking like I hadn’t said a word.

“She said she had something to tell me, and told me to sit on the table. I did and she stuck her hands down my pants and pulled my dick out, babe. I swear.”

“You’re a fucking liar, Roy. I would never, Jeanine. I would never,” I said vehemently.

“You know how she’s always been. When I told her, no way, that you’re my girl and I don’t want anyone else, she punched me in the nose.”

Angry tears prickled in my eyes. Jeanine looked from him to me.

“You know I love you,” he said, laying it on thick, and I saw the moment she decided she’d rather believe the lie than face the truth. She reached up to cup his face in her hands.

“Are you okay, babe? Let me get you some ice.” She skirted around him and got some ice from the freezer. She avoided my gaze the entire time. I rushed into the bathroom and didn’t come out until Roy’s heavy footfalls thundered across the floor and the door slammed. He was gone.

I came out of the bathroom. Jeanine leaned against the kitchen counter, holding her coffee mug and staring off into space. She glanced over at me. Her reddened eyes tracked me as I grabbed some clothes out of my bag. I didn’t know what to do. What do I say? I told her that her boyfriend was a total creeper. What was left? I knew all about what happens when you tell a woman who doesn’t want to hear it that her boyfriend came on to you. It doesn’t turn out well.

We worked different shifts that day and the next, and I’d been on an apartment hunt every spare minute I had. I didn’t have any money for a deposit. My account had been drained. I needed to go to the bank and open a new account. The promises I’d been given that the money in there wouldn’t be touched without my permission were obviously worth nothing.

Every apartment I found was way out of my price range or filled with creepers. Weren’t there any decent people left in the city who didn’t need an arm and a leg as a deposit?