We stood there in awkward silence. That hurt. Our silences were always filled with so much more. Anger, sexual energy so powerful it nearly knocked me off my feet, happiness, but it had never been awkward before. After living in the apartment for over a month and always turning down their invitations to go out, closing myself off to everyone, I’d finally said yes. My roommates were so excited they all got me ready for the evening. Makeup, hair, the works. I tried not to think of the night of the gala and how one was an exciting next step in a relationship brewing between Rhys and me, and this was an exercise in not becoming a shut-in, trying to forget everything Rhys and I had shared before.

I glanced through the restaurant window at the woman he’d helped out of the car. She was stunning. Her sandy blonde hair done up in a beautiful chignon. Her navy coat showed off her perfect legs and figure. She looked like she walked off the cover of Powerful Woman magazine. She sat at a table surrounded by men and she moved with ease. Rhys’s equal, someone who knew how to navigate his world. That’s exactly what she looked like. I wanted to curl in on myself as I wrapped my arms around my waist. I only had myself to blame.

He’d sent me messages since the video. Tried to contact me and I’d shut him down. I had to imagine women were knocking down his door every day. It wouldn’t have taken long for him to find someone else. Someone better. I hoped she was good for Esme. Did she do the voices Esme liked when she sat on the edge of Esme’s bed and read her books? Did he trust her more than he ever trusted me?

A tear escaped the corner of my eye and I batted it away. So stupid. You can’t give up on something and then be sad when someone else snatches it up. Embarrassment heated my face.

“Sorry, I’d better let you get back to your date,” I said, going around him. His fingers wrapped around my elbow, catching me as I tried to get out of there with a bit of my dignity intact. I glanced over my shoulder, biting my lip to keep it from quivering. That’s the last thing I needed, to break down in front of him.

“Mel.” He whispered my name as he had so many times before. When he tucked my hair behind my ear, wrapped his arms around me at night or ran his fingers down my spine, his chin nestled against my neck. It raised goosebumps on my skin that had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures. He tugged me closer to him, so close I could feel the heat of his breath on the side of my face. And I looked away, squeezing my eyes shut. “I can barely get myself dressed in the morning now that you’re gone. If you think I’d want another woman, you’ve lost your mind. I only want you, Mel,” he said, guiding my face to his. I was caught in his gaze, unable to turn away. The feelings I’d tried so hard to push down, to forget, to leave behind, washed over me and warmed me from the inside out.

The rest was a blur. Our lips intertwined out on the sidewalk, his hands in my hair, tugging on it, just the right edge of painful. I gasped and he delved in deeper, our tongues dancing the way our bodies longed. He flung the door to the SUV open and we fell into it.

“Home,” he called out before his lips were back on my skin. Peppering my neck with kisses and nips. I glanced up, relieved Derek wasn’t staring back at me. The divider slid up and we were alone.

His hands ran along my legs the entire ride to the apartment. Memories from the gala that I’d tried to forget, but couldn’t bear parting with raced through my mind. As excited as I was to see him and as much as I couldn’t wait for him to make everything up to me, I wanted to see Esme.

The elevator doors opened and I didn’t even waste time taking off my coat. Derek stood from his spot on the couch. Rhys waved him off and I rushed into her room. The dim glow of her nightlight bathed the entire room in pink. There she was. My little girl. I clasped my hand over my mouth to keep my sob from waking her. I gingerly walked into the room and sat on the floor beside her bed. Her little hand poked out of the blanket and off the side of the bed. I wrapped my hands around it and rubbed it between my hands. A drawing tucked under her body. I slid it out and the tears welled back up in my eyes. It was the three of us. Me, Esme and Rhys. Hearts and sunshine filled the paper. I pressed the picture to my chest. She hadn’t forgotten.

She opened her eyes and smiled. “Mel, you’re back,” she said, her eyes droopy.

“I’m back,” I said, the tears brimming in my eyes as I smoothed down the hair on her head. “I made pictures for you,” she said, her eyes closed and before long she was back to sleep. I didn’t even know if she would remember I was there in the morning. I hoped she would because I didn’t plan on going anywhere again.

I don’t know how long I sat there, but it was long enough that my legs were asleep when Rhys put his hand on my shoulder.

“She drew for you every day,” he said, pointing to her dresser drawer that overflowed with drawings. I wanted them.

“And I wrote to her every day,” I said, turning back to him. “Can I take them with me to my apartment?”

“Come with me.” He held his hand out. I didn’t want to leave Esme and I wanted to get her drawings, but I knew we had so much to talk about.

* * *

“I’ve never been anything more than what I can do for people. I’ve never had someone be there for me, just for me. I…I didn’t want to let myself believe in it, Mel. I didn’t want to believe because I knew it would kill me if you walked away one day. It would be like I was pushed off a cliff and hitting the rocks, if you ever told me what we had wasn’t real,” he said, crouched down in front of me, holding my hands.

I knew that feeling. Freefalling was scary when you were used to things working a certain way. When you craved the predictability. I’d never had that luxury. Rhys was a different story.

“I’m glad you told me. I…I know what it’s like when you feel like you’re freefalling and nothing’s going to stop you from crashing back down to earth.”

“But I know now and I don’t care. I know what it’s like living without you and even if it’s for one more minute, I want that with you.” He kissed our joined hands. His warm lips pressed against the back of my hand. I wanted to run my fingers along his lips. He stood abruptly, leaning against the desk.

“There’s more,” he said, his hands gripped tightly onto the desk.

“Okay,” I said, leaning forward. I needed to know it all and he finally trusted me enough to tell me.

“None of it is mine. The apartment, the cars. It all belongs to the foundations I chair. Given as a perk of the position,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Everything else, except for a small amount to live off is going to be given to the places I think it will make the most difference. My parents’ rules no longer apply. My parents thought I didn’t have a charitable bone in my body and that they needed to beat it into me. I just didn’t believe in their form of charity. I’ve got Esme, I’ve got you, and I’ve got enough for us to be comfortable without a target on my back, but I wanted to let you know what you were getting into with me,” he said, looking unsure. Like I gave a shit about the money. Sure, it was nice, but no one needed as much money as he had.

“I don’t care about the money, Rhys. I’ve got you and I’ve got Esme and that’s all that matters to me,” I said, tears filling my eyes. I hated being so freaking weepy. “I’m taking college classes now. Finally, getting around to it after getting my GED,” I said, dropping my head. I hated how it made me feel to say it. I should be proud of it. I shouldn’t get that twisty gut feeling fessing up to the fact that I hadn’t graduated from high school. His fingers caressed my chin. I missed his touch and smell. I breathed him in, and relaxed into him. He tilted my head up until I met his eyes.

“I’m so proud of you. I don’t care if you go to college or not, but if it makes you happy. If it’s what you want, we’re behind you one hundred percent, and Esme and I look forward to embarrassing the hell out of you when you walk across that graduation stage,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m glad we got to talk. I’m glad you explained it to me. I don’t want to forget Esme’s pictures. I want to hang them up when I get home.”

“Mel, maybe I haven’t been clear, but you’re home now. This is your home. With us,” he said before pressing his lips to mine. His soft lips hard against mine, coaxing the swirling pool of desire back to the surface. I wrapped my arms around his neck, threading my fingers through his hair, letting the silky smoothness run over them.

“Take me to bed,” I whispered against his lips. He growled and I chuckled against his lips until he dipped and cradled me in his arms.

“Put me down, you’re going to drop me,” I said, laughing and pushing on his chest.

“Never again,” he said, gazing into my eyes. Tears gathered in his eyes and he blinked them back. “Never,” he said, so fiercely that my heart stuttered and the tears were back. All I could do was nod. I believed him.

He laid me in bed like he was afraid I’d disappear. “I love you, Mel,” he said as he slid inside me. I gasped, forgetting how good it felt, how good he felt, as I dug my fingers into his muscled back.

“I love you, too,” I said on a moan as he slammed into me, thrusting, as I hitched my legs up on his back, our bodies coming together in exquisite bliss I’d never experienced with anyone before and would have with him every day.

This was forever. We were forever.