Chapter 1

Jenna

“Good morning Bruce,” I said as I walked through the front doors of the San Francisco Ballet rehearsal studio.

“Jenna, it’s six o’clock. You’re not supposed to be here this early.”

“Oh, cut me some slack. I’m trying to get this choreography done for the charity event. I promise not to cause any trouble.”

I stood at the front desk of our old five-story building near the edge of town. The ballet company had moved to this building a few years before, and we were in constant need of updating and repairing rooms throughout the building, but the lobby was fantastic. It had marble floors and a huge security desk that you had to pass to get into the building. We didn’t always have a security guard there, but in recent weeks, the construction crew had lots of theft, so they requested the desk be staffed twenty-four hours a day.

“Miss Cassandra will have my butt if she knows I let you in,” he said, looking around as if Cassandra was nearby and would hear him.

“I know, I promise I won’t tell her you let me in.” I continued walking through the main door and to the back practice room.

Bruce was my favorite security guard by far. He always let me come in and practice during off hours, even though Cassandra forbid any of us from being there when she wasn’t. He normally just worked during the overnight shift, but now was working all sorts of hours trying to make sure the desk was covered all the time. It was a ridiculous rule that dancers and staff weren’t supposed to be in the studio in the off hours and basically was due to Cassandra’s control issues. She loved telling the board of directors that she was the first one in and the last one out every day; even though it was hardly ever true. Most of the time, the dancers rehearsed after she left or met up in other locations to practice when they needed to.

I didn’t actually get to dance, though, and I didn’t attend the rehearsals that were off site. As the assistant choreographer, I didn’t get to do very much at all. Cassandra managed the ballet company and did all the choreographing of the numbers. But that was about to change. I’d worked on a perfect routine for the upcoming masquerade event, and I knew Cassandra was going to love it. Since this event wasn’t being held on a stage, I really hoped Cassandra was going to let me take the lead.

For nearly two hours, I ran through my choreography and prepared for when Cassandra arrived at 7:45 a.m. The event was going to be huge, and my idea was to split the dancers up a little and have them spread out through the crowd, instead of doing a dance that was just in front of everyone on the stage. After the main dance, each of the dancers could grab a donor from the crowd and spend some time with them either dancing or talking.

If big donors got a chance to interact with the dancers, I really thought they would be more likely to give more money. The excitement had me literally jumping up and down as I ran out the back door and waited for Cassandra to arrive.

With a quick run around to the side of the building, I saw my grumpy boss pull up and walk in the front door of the building. Her ridiculous rules were no match for me; I just pretended to follow them and showed up right as she walked through the main door. I hurried up behind her so I could get her undivided attention before all the other dancers arrived.

“Cassandra,” I yelled after her. “I’ve got some ideas for the choreography on the masquerade event.”

She rolled her eyes and didn’t stop and wait for me as she got into the elevator, and I barely caught the door as I slipped inside with her. Everything about Cassandra made me nervous. She had a constant scowl on her face, at least as long as I’d known her. I’d heard stories of what she was like before I started working there. Somewhere in the past, she was actually nice, but then she turned rotten, and that was the only side I’d ever seen.

“Why do you insist on ruining every morning for me?” she growled at me.

“Can I tell you about my idea for the event?” I asked, ignoring her question.

“I’m sure I can’t stop you.”

“Okay, so picture this,” I said as I started to get excited. “We have the dancers pair up and dance in small groups throughout the venue. Then, after the performance, they each grab a donor and spend some time with them. Maybe they can dance with them, or get a drink, or something else.”

“Okay,” she said as she looked at her phone.

“Yes? You like it? So do you want me to show you the routine I put together?” I asked as I literally couldn’t keep still.

“Sure, show me,” she said without looking up.

As the elevator opened, I started dancing and showing her some of the moves I had put together. I followed her down the hallway and to her office, although she barely looked up from her phone at all.

“Great. When the dancers get here, why don’t you teach them the choreography? Then I’ll come down later, and you can show me what you’ve put together? I’ll make necessary changes, and we will go from there. I really thought you would have already worked on a routine for the event, but I guess now is better than nothing.”

“Really? You’re going to let me take the lead?” I could hardly breathe I was so excited. I chose to ignore all the other comments she’d added in there. “Thank you so much. I will not let you down. I’m going to knock this out of the park. We are going to have a record-setting fundraiser.”

“Okay, now go away,” she said grumpily and shut her office door on me.

I ran past the elevators and to the stairs. This was what I’d been waiting for. This was exactly what I wanted so desperately for the last two years that I’d worked here. Dozens and dozens of ideas had been shot down over the years, but this one she liked. This idea was perfect and was my key to finally getting to choreograph something real.

I flung the door open on the main floor and ran to the practice room to wait for all the dancers to arrive. I could barely hold back my excitement when the crew started to load in. Most of the dancers hardly knew who I was, but Elaina and Stacy were my friends and came straight over to talk to me.

“You look excited; what’s going on?” Elaina asked.

She was already dressed in her warm-up gear and sat down to put on her shoes. We had taken a dance class together when we were in elementary school and kept in touch throughout high school despite going to different schools. She was such a fun and vivacious person that it was hard not to smile when I was around her. Often when I was overwhelmed with my place in the dance world, she reminded me that I actually beat her in the dance contest at our studio when we were ten. It was a little reminder that I was a good dancer, and I could dance again if I really wanted to.

I really did love to dance and would have given anything to dance full-time like these girls were doing. But I didn’t have the financial means to dance for a living. Not only did dancers hardly get paid enough to live on, but they also had to dedicate so much time to dancing that it made it impossible to work a second job. Every single dancer in our company lived with their family, had family money, or lived with a significant other who helped support them; I didn’t have that luxury. My family struggled our whole lives, and now my mother was the only one alive, and she still needed me to help her whenever possible. Especially because my two younger brothers were still in school and couldn’t help out very much.

“Cassandra is letting me choreograph the charity number.”

“Really?”

“Don’t look so surprised. I actually have some great ideas. I’m not just a pretty face.” I laughed. “You know that most of the choreography Cassandra uses is mine anyways, right? This is all just a formality. She needs to let me take some credit.”

“Oh, I know you have great ideas. You’re an amazing dancer and choreographer; my surprise is that Cassandra is letting you do it. Are you sure?”

“Yes, she told me to come show you guys the routine I have planned. I told her all about it this morning, and she really liked it. We are going to rehearse and then show her later. I mean it’s possible she won’t like the finished product and will want to do something different, but I’m pretty sure she will love this.”

Elaina still looked really hesitant but put a smile on her face as our friend Stacy arrived. I knew exactly what Elaina was thinking; I was thinking the same thing. Cassandra didn’t even like me, so why on earth would she let me choreograph this number? Maybe she was sick or just didn’t want to do the work herself, but I wasn’t going to worry too much about it since this was my big opportunity. Perhaps I was going to do all the work, and she was going to take the credit, but I had to just keep pushing forward.

“Hey, The Devil told Jenna that she could choreograph the charity number,” Elaina said with a fake smile. “Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah,” she looked wide-eyed at me and gave a false grin. “That’s great.”

“Come on guys. Can’t you just be happy for me?”

“You know her, Jenna. She’s going to change the routine after we work all day rehearsing it. She’s going to come down here and scream and yell and say everything is stupid, and then you are going to feel horrible. We just don’t want to see you get your hopes up,” Stacy said as she rubbed my back. “We love you.”

“I love you guys too. I know what I’m getting into; I’m choosing to be optimistic that this time is going to be different. She’s really going to like this routine.”

“Okay then, let’s get started,” Elaina said as she clapped her hands and motioned for the other girls to take their places. “Jenna is going to teach us the routine this morning,” she said and motioned to me.

I’d been there for two years. Most people knew me, sort of. But I was often relegated to running Cassandra’s errands or supervising practices, teaching the dances wasn’t something I got to do often. When I did get to do it, Cassandra often berated my technique and took over the session so she could teach the way she wanted the dancers to do things.

The dancers smiled at me, and we got started on the choreography that I had in my head. First, we learned it as a group so I could see each of the dancers and how they moved with the piece. Then I split the dancers into groups of three to five and let them rehearse a little bit more while I watched.

I moved girls from groups and tried to give tips where I could, but it wasn’t going very well. Most of the girls looked down at me like I had no idea what I was doing. Not because they knew me or my history as a dancer, but simply because Cassandra constantly put me down in front of them so no one believed I had any abilities. Well, not everyone; Elaina and Stacy knew me and knew I had some skills.

“Okay, let’s take a break for lunch. Everyone be back in here in forty-five minutes, please,” I smiled as I talked to the group, but they still looked at me with such disdain that I could hardly pretend any longer.

“You are doing great,” Elaina said as she hugged me. “They are just snobs sometimes.”

“I really like this dance. It’s perfect for the event,” Stacy added.

“Why does everyone hate me so much?” I moaned.

“They don’t hate you,” Elaina said as we pulled our lunches out and walked to the back of the building. “They hate learning a dance and then having Cassandra come and change everything. It’s frustrating for them.”

“It’s a good dance, though,” Stacy added.

“Maybe she won’t change it,” I said hopefully.

Elaina was like the captain of the group; the ladies listened to her and really did respect her a lot. But Elaina had taught dances before and had Cassandra change everything as well. This wasn’t something new; it was a perpetual habit, and I knew it.

We sat quietly eating our sandwiches while watching the puffy summer clouds as they moved across the sky. It was such a peaceful afternoon and the perfect temperature. After eating, we all lay back in the grass and talked until it was time to go back in.

“How was your date?” I asked Elaina.

“Disastrous.”

“Why?” Stacy asked.

“He seriously took me to a motorcycle race. Like dirty bikes and noise. We couldn’t talk at all, and it was filthy; then he wanted to take me back to his place. Like seriously, I knew nothing about him, and he wanted to take me home. Dating sucks so bad.”

“This is something I know very well.” I laughed.

“Sorry,” Elaina made a face at me.

I had the absolute worst luck in the dating world out of all of us. Maybe it was because I couldn’t afford to go out to the clubs very often or I lived in a crappy neighborhood. Or maybe I was just totally undatable, but I hadn’t been on a real date in the two years that I’d lived on my own. It was rather pitiful.

“What about Raul?” Stacy asked.

“He’s gay.” I rolled my eyes.

“Really?”

“Yes, haven’t you seen him flirting with Mike during rehearsals?” Elaina rolled her eyes at Stacy.

“No, they are always behind me. I’ve never noticed.”

“Last week, he literally made a joke about dating men.” I laughed at Stacy’s naivety.

“Oh, I thought it was just a regular joke.”

Elaina and I couldn’t stop laughing. Stacy was such a ditz, yet she was the only one who had a boyfriend. And her boyfriend seemed like a pretty decent guy. Camden was a former dancer who now worked as a bartender. He’d danced with Stacy in one of her classes throughout high school, and the two of them fell in love. Camden was a very sweet boy, and whenever Stacy and he were together, I couldn’t help being a little jealous. Their love came so easily to them. It never seemed like they questioned each other or wondered if the other was going to stay with them. They acted more like an old married couple than a young dating couple.

“What are you doing?” I heard Cassandra screaming from the back door to the rehearsal building. “Do you think you get paid to sit around in the dirt? My God, it’s like you girls were raised in some sort of barn or something.”

She let the door slam behind her, which meant we were going to have to go around to the front of the building to get back in. The three of us scurried to grab our things and ran around the building.

“It’s like she is possessed sometimes.” Elaina scowled. “She sits up in her office doing nothing literally all day long, but the second we take a break, she’s out here.”

“I know!” Stacy yelled as she ran ahead of us. “But I hate it when she yells; hurry up. Let’s get inside.”

None of us were particularly fond of being yelled at, but I’d grown accustomed to it. Elaina had a pretty thick skin to Cassandra’s yelling as well. Stacy, she couldn’t handle it, though. Any time Cassandra was yelling at Stacy, it was only a matter of minutes before we saw our friend break down into a full-blown crying fit. Stacy didn’t get yelled at often, luckily, but when she did, it was usually because she was hanging around Elaina and me.

“Show me the dance,” Cassandra growled as we ran into the studio. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

It had only been a half hour since everyone went out for lunch, and only a few of the dancers were back in the practice studio. Everyone stood frozen as they looked around for the partners for their groups, but of course, none of the groups were complete. It wasn’t worth arguing with Cassandra and asking her to wait for everyone to get in there; it was never worth arguing with Cassandra.

Luckily for me, Elaina and Stacy just grabbed one of the girls and pulled her into a group with them. They moved to the middle of the floor, and Elaina took the lead to count out the steps and show Cassandra what we had put together so far. This was exactly why Elaina was considered the head of the dancers; she didn’t complain and just took charge.

“We were just getting going on the practice. I’d love to show you the final product at the end of the day,” I said as Cassandra and I watched the girls do the number. “Each group will have either three or five people in them. The guys will all be split up among the groups.”

“Oh, my God, this is hideous,” she yelled out and made the group stop dancing. “You don’t really expect me to let this go in front of all our best donors? Come on; I knew I’d have to do this myself.”

Cassandra moved to the middle of the dance floor as the rest of the dancers made their way into the room. They had likely overheard the commotion from down the hall and were all trying to get their faces in front of Cassandra so she knew they were responsible.

“I think this is everyone,” Elaina said as she looked over the room and stood next to Cassandra.

I was nearly in tears at this point and so grateful that Elaina knew this and took over talking to Cassandra. One time I’d actually cried in front of her, and I didn’t live that down for weeks afterward; Cassandra didn’t like cry babies.

“Okay girls, how about we open like this,” Cassandra said as she basically did the exact same move that the girls were already doing. “Then you can go into the turn. Okay?” She stood with her hands on her hips as all the dancers looked at her blankly. “Shake your heads if you understand.”

Elaina looked confused as she watched Cassandra, but she put on a smile and did the dance again. Most of the other dancers looked similarly confused. They were used to having Cassandra actually changing the dance, but from what I could see, nothing was changing.

“Like that?” Elaina asked.

“Yes, for God’s sake Elaina, you don’t need to have so much attitude. You know I don’t have to keep you as the lead dancer. One more mess up, and you’re out.”

All the dancers looked puzzled as they watched the interaction between Elaina and Cassandra. Elaina didn’t have an attitude; if there was anyone in this studio who was nice to Cassandra, it was Elaina. It was puzzling the way Cassandra couldn’t even be nice to the nicest person in the studio.

“Of course, I’ll do better,” Elaina said with a big smile.

“Yes, you will. Or you won’t be dancing here any longer.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Elaina said as she went back to the group. “Would you like us to show you the rest of the dance?”

It was infuriating how Cassandra made Elaina apologize with threats to lose her dancing position. I really didn’t know how Elaina kept her composure. I was only seconds away from tackling Cassandra at any one moment; I knew I couldn’t have handled the yelling as well as Elaina was taking it.

“No, it’s hideous,” Cassandra said, “just try and make it better before the event this weekend. Ugh, I can’t believe they actually pay you ladies, and this is the best you can come up with. I can’t take this another second.”

The dancers stood waiting for a minute before Elaina took control and started to go through the dance with them. I stood silently off to the side. Cassandra watched as Elaina, Stacy, and the other dancers did the number all the way through. Then Cassandra berated them for being late, although they were back from lunch exactly when I had asked them to be.

My stomach turned with anxiety. I still didn’t know if Cassandra actually liked the dance or not. She always said things were horrible, but that wasn’t an actual indicator of whether she liked the choreography or not. Plus, it sounded like she wanted the dancers to continue rehearsing with this number, and that was a positive sign that she was keeping it for the event. Either way, it was clear I was no longer in charge of the rehearsal, and it was now Cassandra.

She didn’t change my dance, though; I was excited about that. As the dancers showed Cassandra the choreography, she complained about every step of it and even said she wanted changes but really didn’t change anything. It felt like a tiny win for me. A little bit of me getting something right for a change was something I was going to hold onto.

“So you did a horrible job with the choreography, but I think I’ve improved it, so we can use it at the event. Keep them practicing, though,” she said and turned to leave. “And stop looking at me like that. You’re not a puppy.”

“Sorry, thank you for using my choreography. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t let them slack off before the event! And I’m not using anything of yours. This is all new choreography. I changed everything, weren’t you watching at all? Wow, it’s amazing you’re able to feed yourself,” she grumbled as the studio door slammed behind her.

My heart sunk right into the pit of my stomach. I tried as hard as possible not to break down in tears; I couldn’t cry in front of Cassandra. I held my breath until she was down the hall, but I just couldn’t stop myself any longer. It was all too much. She was such a hideous woman!

“No, no, no,” Stacy said as she grabbed me and pulled me to the corner of the room. “Don’t cry. This isn’t something to cry over. We are using your choreography. You should be happy. Who cares what that woman thinks. You know she’s crazy.”

“You guys can take a break,” Elaina yelled to the group.

“You can’t let the dancers see you cry. There is no crying in ballet,” Stacy added with a huge fake smile.

“I’m sorry,” I said through my tears.

“Let’s take a break. Elaina can work with everyone for a little bit,” Stacy said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. “Come on now. This isn’t a surprise. You’ve got to toughen up around her. She’s never going to be nice. That’s just not who she is.”

“She used to be nice,” I said as we sat down in the stairwell. “I’ve heard the stories. I think she’s just having a cranky few years.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Stacy laughed. “I know how it is, trust me. I cry every time she yells at me. But you’re trying to be her equal. You are trying to be a choreographer; you absolutely cannot let her get into your head like this.”

“I don’t know why I’m so emotional. I don’t do this job for recognition; I just do it so I can stay in the dance world. I should be happy that I’m here.”

It was the truth. As much as I wanted to choreograph this event or anything for that matter, I loved my job. I loved that I got to hang out with professional ballet dancers every day. It was the closest I could get given my circumstances, and I really did want to be happy about what I had in my life.

I wasn’t one of those people who lived beyond their means or tried to be someone they weren’t. No, I accepted my place in this society, and my place was as the unknown assistant. Yet every now and again, a spark of excitement built up inside of me like it had on this day, and I thought something was going to change for me.

“So we are on the same page,” Stacy said with a smile. “Now take a couple deep breaths and get back in there. You can still lead these rehearsals. You can show these guys and girls that Cassandra can’t ruin your day. At least she didn’t actually change things, and the dancers won’t be as grumpy now for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, what was that she was doing? She said she changed things and basically did the exact same moves. That was weird.”

“She just wanted to look important.”

“Always. She always wants to look busy. I’m not sure what work she actually does. You know last week I went and got her breakfast and lunch, and she hadn’t moved from her desk between the two meals. Then when it was time for her to go home, she said she was tired. Really? Tired? She sat and played on her phone the whole day.”

Stacy just smiled at me as I talked. I think she liked seeing me get a little angry about my boss. Most of the time, I just meekly did what was asked of me. It was my job. I got paid to do whatever Cassandra asked me to do. I wasn’t getting paid to make up my own choreography. And I definitely wasn’t getting paid for my opinions.

“Okay, so we know she’s not worth your time and energy, but these dancers are. They need you. Now that Cassandra is out of the rehearsal room, you can do what you want. Let’s make this amazing. Pull out all your ideas, and let’s have fun,” Stacy said in her most enthusiastic voice.

“Yeah, she’s not going to even remember what we have already rehearsed. Maybe we should get a little crazy?”

“Yeah, what the hell? Is there something else you want to add that you haven’t?”

“I don’t know yet.” I laughed. “But I am feeling so much better.”

Stacy grabbed my hand, pulled me up and gave me a big hug. We’d probably only been in the stairwell for a few minutes, but I already had a new outlook on this situation. Cassandra could come in and say whatever she wanted. She could come in and pretend to change things, but we were going to put together a kick-ass show for the fundraiser.

“This event is huge. There are going to be so many big names at it. You do whatever you need to in order to make us awesome,” Stacy added.

“What if we incorporated one of the big donors into the actual dance?”

“What do you mean?”

“At first, I wanted to have everyone pull a donor aside after the dance, but I think it would be cool to grab one of the younger donors, maybe a guy, and put him right in the middle of the whole thing.”

“I’ve got the perfect person for this,” Stacy said as we walked back into the rehearsal room and she grabbed her phone out of her bag. “Kevin Fox.”

“Okay,” I said without realizing who he was.

“You have no idea who he is do you?” She laughed and looked at Elaina. “Elaina, tell Jenna who Kevin Fox is.”

“Oh, yes, what a fine piece of man he is,” Elaina started to say as her eyes glazed over. “He’s a tech guy. I think he runs a driving app company or something. Super delicious looking and every woman in the town is after him.”

“Does he have a good sense of humor? I mean it might be a little embarrassing for him with the idea I have for the performance,” I said.

“He’s really dedicated to the ballet. His sister loved it, and she passed away. I think he would be willing to do whatever was necessary to help bring in some more money,” Elaina said as she grabbed Stacy’s phone and held it up so I could see a picture.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve seen him on the news,” I said as I looked at his sexy eyes. He had wavy short brown hair and bright blue eyes. In the picture he had a couple days of a scruffy beard and man did he look sexy.

“That’s it?” Elaina asked me. “That’s all the response you’re going to give to this hunk of a man?”

“Sorry, he’s not really my type.”

“She doesn’t like super sexy rich guys.” Stacy laughed. “You know, after not dating anyone for two years, she has zero sex drive.”

“Okay, okay, let’s get started on this choreography,” I said as I tried to distract them before they started to go on and on about my lack of a sex life. “Who is going to be Kevin’s dance partner for my …”

“I am,” Elaina said as her hand went straight up into the air. “No questions. No option. I’m the captain, he’s mine.”

Stacy and I looked at each other wide-eyed, and neither of us was going to argue with Elaina. She clearly had a thing for this guy, and that would make it even hotter when she danced with him. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do for our big number. I liked the idea of having Kevin brought into the middle of the dancers and doing some sort of performance, but I also liked the idea of doing some one on one time so the dancers could really connect with the donors. No matter what we decided to do, I had to admit I was lying about Kevin not being my type. Of course he was my type, he was practically any woman’s perfect man. Kevin Fox was good looking, rich, smart, and from what I’d heard, he had a damn good sense of humor too. The issue was that I wasn’t his type, and that was a glaringly obvious fact that I was aware of.