- PIP -
My leg bounced, my stiletto repeatedly jackhammering into the grass below my feet. The ceremony chairs were uncomfortable, and I couldn’t sit still. Then again, there was another reason I was uncomfortable, and it had nothing to do with being at Cole and Paige’s wedding.
Cole stood at the altar, along with Hunter and Blair next to him. I expected Spencer to be up there with them, but I guessed it would’ve been awkward to ask the husband of your ex-wife to be groomsman at your wedding—even if you were still the best of friends.
Reece and Spencer were sitting at the very back looking after all the kids—including Hunter and Sara’s twins. I swore the children were multiplying. And I’d be adding to the mix soon.
Guests were filling up the seats, and the bride was due any minute, but I couldn’t settle.
Garrett gripped my thigh, hard, stopping the constant moving. “He might not turn up.”
“That’s not why my leg is bouncing.” It was totally why. I got a message yesterday from Gage saying he was getting on a plane and he’d meet me here. But I had a perfect excuse to cover up why I was truly freaking out. “If you must know, your baby has made me do nothing but pee for four weeks straight.”
First try, the IVF worked. I was officially pregnant, but it was still surreal. I had minor symptoms like having to pee a lot, but apart from that, I wouldn’t have even known I was pregnant.
They only had two embryos. Two shots to get it right. It was a lot of pressure on my uterus. I was thankful it was successful.
Garrett laughed. “That’s my boy. Or girl.” His hand went to my non-existent bump, over the purple chiffon of my strapless dress. “You keep growing in there, little one,” he said, rubbing my stomach some more.
“Pretty sure we’re still at the embryo stage. He or she can’t hear you.”
“Any morning sickness?”
“I’ve been lucky, I guess. I remember Reece being sick as a dog with all her pregnancies. Maybe it hasn’t hit yet.”
“You should go pee now before the ceremony starts.”
“I should but I won’t. You never know when I might need an excuse to escape.”
He glanced over my head. “I’m guessing you’re gonna need one right about now.”
“Phew, I made it.” The deep, velvety voice that belonged to him had the ability to send a shiver straight through me.
I stiffened as Gage threw himself in the seat next to mine.
“Flight was delayed. I came straight here from the airport.”
I stared at him wide-eyed, unsure of what to do. Or say. He was wearing the clothes he wore the night he took me home from the pub. It was as if these past few months didn’t happen. Then I realised, he’d gone to Virginia with nothing but the clothes on his back. Did that mean he’d been wearing that suit for six months? I shook my head. He would’ve bought clothes over there. My absurdity almost made me laugh, but then I caught his eyes.
His cheeks seemed hollow and his eyes were baggy. His hair had grown, and he hadn’t shaved for days. Even though he was tired around the edges, he was still the hottest man I’d ever laid eyes on.
As I continued to stare with my mouth agape, I couldn’t bring any words to my lips.
Garrett nudged me and whispered, “I think the word you’re looking for is hi.”
“Uh, hey,” I croaked.
Gage smiled, and I was assaulted with a visual of his dimples. I quickly faced the front again.
“Hey, I think we need to—” At the same time he spoke, the ceremony music kicked in.
Part of me wanted to know what Gage was going to say, but the other part was still pissed off at him for leaving me for six months. If we hadn’t slept together the night before he abandoned me, I wouldn’t be this hurt. His dad was sick, I understood that, but what I didn’t understand was the silence and lack of communication.
Paige looked stunning in her lacy dress as she walked the aisle. It hugged her in all the right places and only went to mid-thigh. If the rumours about those two were true, I’d guess she did that on purpose so they could get it on in the bathroom right after the I dos.
Gage moved closer and murmured, “Note to self, avoid the public restrooms after the ceremony, because there is no way they aren’t having sex with her in that dress.”
I tried not to laugh at the fact we were thinking the same thing, but that only caused me to snort. When everyone turned to glare at me, I tried to cover it with a cough.
Garrett rubbed my back soothingly, while Gage folded his arms with a smug look on his face.
“You’re evil,” I muttered.
“You missed me.”
My head snapped in his direction, and while arrogance glimmered in his eyes, vulnerability was prominent. “Yeah. I did.”
He leant in and kissed my cheek, and dammit, my eyes started watering.
“Six months, Gage,” I whispered.
“I know. We’ll talk after the ceremony, okay?”
I nodded.
At the vows Paige had written, the tears threatened to spill over. “I’ve always told you that there’s no reason for us to get married.” The guests chuckled. “And I still believe that. I’ve been committed to you since day one. I fell in love with you before I knew what was happening. While I think this whole shebang isn’t necessary, that doesn’t stop me from wanting it. You’re my husband on more than paper. My soul belongs to you.”
Cole’s vows pretty much broke the dam.
“As much as I told myself to stay away from you when we first met, there was no denying I knew from the beginning you were the one for me. We both fought it, but ultimately, fate forced us together. I promise to try my best to be the man you fell in love with and not the one who fell apart when times were tough. My soul belongs to you.”
I sniffed and turned to Garrett, whispering, “Is it too early to blame the hormones for this?” I waved my hand in front of my face.
He laughed and wrapped his arm around me.
Gage stiffened beside me, but he didn’t say anything. When I glanced over to him, he was glaring at Garrett’s hand on my shoulder.
Paige’s aversion to commitment also meant she had an aversion to long wedding ceremonies. Which would’ve normally been a good thing, but not now. Not when I was dreading talking with Gage.
Before we knew it, we were all filing out of our seats.
The outdoor venue was gorgeous, and even though it looked like I was studying the overhanging lanterns that would be lit at dusk and taking in the flower petals that littered the ground, what I was really doing was putting off the inevitable.
The wedding party went to get photos taken, but the venue was small, and most of the guests followed to watch.
I stayed back, knowing what was coming.
His arm wrapped around my waist, and I turned into him as he brought me against his body.
“What are you doing here, Gage?” My voice, which had never been timid or quiet, took on a meek quality.
“It was a big event. We’re always each other’s date to these things. I’m always your backup.”
A humourless laugh flew out of my mouth. He was never my backup. He was always first choice, but he never wanted me. I was able to deal with that. What I wasn’t able to deal with was the fact he gave me everything I’d wanted and then ripped it away from me not even twenty-four hours later.
“How did you know I needed a date? You’ve been gone for six months without so much as a text or phone call. Even Garrett got an email. I could have a boyfriend for all you know.” I tried to step away from him, but he followed me, bringing us face to face, mere inches apart.
“Are you seeing anyone?” His voice held no malice or jealousy as if he knew I was lying. And, of course, he had to call me on my bullshit.
“No. But things have changed.”
“How?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted.
His eyes widened as he looked down at my flat stomach.
“It’s not yours, if that’s why you’re freaking out.”
“You went through with the surrogacy?”
“Last month.” My voice was barely above a whisper.
His hand ran over his tired face. The hurt and surprise etched into his face would become a hard memory to shake. “I can’t deal with this right now. Sorry.” He took more steps back. “Uh … sorry.”
Tears fell on my cheeks as he turned and walked away.
Garrett was by my side not a fraction of a second later. I had no idea where he came from or if he heard everything. He hugged me. “He’ll go for a walk and cool off.”
A collective gasp came from the group of people watching the wedding photos taking place.
“Or not.” Garrett grabbed my hand and rushed towards the group.
Gage shook out his hand, and Blair held onto his eye.
“Ah, fucking hell,” Blair said.
Garrett pushed through the crowd to get to his boyfriend. “What the hell?”
“You woulda been first in line, but I didn’t realise you were right beside Pip. Although, I should’ve guessed.” Gage inspected his knuckles and shook his hand some more.
“What is wrong with you?” I screamed.
“You’re carrying their baby, and you’re asking what’s wrong with me?”
There were murmurs and more gasps, and holy fuck, why were we having this out in front of a huge group of people we didn’t even know.
Garrett held up his hands. “He’s making it sound so much more scandalous than it is. She’s our surrogate.”
A few ahhs of realisation passed through Paige’s extended family.
“You’re mine, Pip, or did you forget that promise you made me?” Gage said, stepping towards me.
“Yeah and immediately after that promise, you ran off to the US for six months.”
“My father is literally on his deathbed,” he yelled. “I’ve come back for two days so I could take you to this wedding and talk to you about what’s going on up here”—he pointed to his head—“and you turn around and tell me you’re pregnant?”
“It’s not my baby,” I emphasised.
“Yeah. And it’s not mine either, when we both know it fucking should be.”
I never thought in a million years that it would be so easy to make sixty people go completely silent all at once. Boy, was I wrong.
***
So, I was a horrible friend. Not because I was the cause of disruption to a beautiful wedding, but because I ran out of there immediately after. I ran all the way to a bar—and by ran, I meant drove because I was in heels. I still sucked at walking in them, let alone running. There would be no running in heels, ever.
The bar was totally counter-productive due to the fact I was pregnant and couldn’t drink my problems away.
“Guys, seriously.” I turned to Reece and Spencer who ditched the rest of the reception and came with me. “I’m fine on my own. Where are your kids?”
“Our niece picked the kids up after the ceremony and has taken them for the night, so we’re going to get drunk,” Reece said.
“Well, drink up for me.” Only a few weeks in and I already saw a downside to giving up my womb for nine months. At least most people got a baby at the end of it. I’d get a thank you, stretch marks, and a fat ass.
I shook those negative thoughts away. I was excited to be doing this for Blair and Garrett. Gage was just getting in my head.
Spencer’s fingers flew across his phone screen.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He shoved it in his pocket.
“Let’s dance,” Reece exclaimed.
“Nah, you two go grind on each other. I’m good here, staring at all the alcohol I’m not allowed to drink.”
They reluctantly accepted my offer to leave me which I was grateful for, but I wished for them to come back when, not even a song into their dance, I was approached by a guy who looked young enough to be my son.
“Can I buy you a drink?” The kid had balls. I’d give him that.
“I thought legal drinking age was eighteen? You look twelve.”
He laughed. “I’m nineteen.”
“I’m not interested in being a cougar.”
“Come on”—He leant on the bar—“you can’t be more than twenty-three.”
“Aww, you’re sweet. But I’m thirty, honey.”
His face fell.
“Thought so. You can run along now.”
When he scurried away, I noticed the guy sitting at the bar a few stools away from me. He was laughing, and I was pissed.
“Hilarious, right?”
He gave me the side-eye and smirked. “Sorry. That was brutal. You crushed that poor kid’s heart.”
Blue eyes met mine. He was definitely more age appropriate, and his blond hair had a shiny quality I was jealous of. He had a muscled physique but still had nothing on Gage. My eyes gravitated to the blond guy’s arms where he had full sleeve tatts. That was hot, but all it did was make me think of Gage’s tattoo. A bald eagle took up his shoulder, half his chest, and his shoulder blade at the back. I remember the feel of it under my fingertips and tongue as I trailed over it while he was inside me. And I hated myself for thinking about Gage again.
“Get your fill, honey?”
I realised I was still staring at the blond guy. Oops. “Sorry. Zoned out there for a second.”
He smiled and took a sip of his beer. He stood to come over to me when an arm wrapped around me.
Blondie’s eyes widened as he took in Gage.
“Drinking’s not good for the baby,” Gage said. Loudly.
I pushed him off me. “Ignore him,” I said to the blond guy. “He’s my brother. And an asshole.”
“Naw, I wasn’t your brother when you fucked me.”
Blondie’s eyebrows shot up. “You two have a lovely night.” He scurried away.
I turned to Gage. “I think that’s a record. I scared off two guys within minutes of each other.”
Gage tucked my hair behind my ear. “You could never scare me off. Ever. If anything—”
“What are you doing here? How did you find me?”
“Spence.”
“Traitor,” I mumbled.
Gage gripped my hips. “Can I please come home with you so we can talk?”
Talk? With his hands currently branding me? Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.
“Just talk,” he said. “I need to explain why I dropped off the face of the planet. If we’re going to have a future, you need to know everything about my past, but telling you the truth means I risk losing you. As a friend and as something more.”
“Please, you make it sound as if you killed someone. It can’t be that bad.”
His eyes flew to mine, and there was something in them that I’d never seen from him. He looked guilty.
My brow furrowed. “Gage—”
“Can we go home? Please?”
Home. I liked how he always referred to my place as home. A lot of the time, it felt like he was my roommate. For the last six months, I’d been completely on my own, and I hated it.
No matter what was going on with us, he was Gage. He was still my best friend, and the pain in his eyes was evident. I couldn’t turn him away.
I let him take my hand. He signalled to Spencer and Reece who were still on the dancefloor. Spencer gave us a chin lift in acknowledgment and then wrapped his arm around Reece who fell into his arms.
My heart lurched. I wanted that. I wanted my forever. Being left by the one guy I wanted it with friggin’ hurt.
“Did you drive here?” he asked.
“Yup.” I took my keys out of my clutch and threw them at him.
On the drive back to my place, he drove one-handed, not removing his free hand from my thigh. I couldn’t bring myself to make him move it.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Then where was my email? My messages? My phone calls?” Apparently, all I had to do to get him to take his hand away was get angry at him.
“I’m not in a good headspace when I go home. I thought I was doing you a favour by not contacting you.”
“A favour?” I yelled. “I thought we completely ruined everything by sleeping together. You left without so much as a reason, and I had to find out from Garrett that your dad is dying. I don’t get it. I don’t get why you didn’t come to me, or why—”
He pulled into my townhouse driveway and killed the engine. “You know what I did the first few months I was home?”
“Spent time with your dad? Caught up with friends?”
He shook his head. “I hid. I literally stayed indoors the entire time.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s go inside. I need to tell you about the hell that was my life before I moved here.”