Chapter 4: Where the Wind Blows

Mariska

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Pain. Burning. Explosions. All around me is confusion and yelling. The bright beige of the desert contrasts sharply against the dark green and brown of the armored vehicles, and figures in white robes and sand-colored fatigues rush by without stopping.

I can’t control what’s happening, but I’ve got to complete this mission. I’ve got to get him to safety. Someone grabs my arms and drags me roughly away. A whistle grows louder from above, then BOOM!

We’re all lifted a foot off the ground then slammed back again...

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Gasping, I sat straight up in the bed and stared into the darkness of my bedroom. What the hell was that?

I’d had vivid dreams since I was a little girl. My Yaya said it was because I was more sensitive than others, and she liked to note that I dreamed in color. Very unusual.

Still, all my dreams were about me—a solution to a problem or a premonition of something coming. Nothing in my life was like the images I’d just seen. My body shook, and my heart beat too fast. I was afraid. My dreams also never scared me. I could control them because they were mine.

Only... this dream wasn’t mine.

My grandmother taught me to keep a dream journal. She said it would help me understand when the events came to pass. I just had to write them down and wait.

She’d taught me to read coffee grounds in the old Turkish style and to detect auras. She would smile and say everything was connected. If I paid attention, I’d see how. Thinking of her calmed my frayed nerves. I missed her so much.

Reaching for the notepad I kept on my bedside table, I quickly jotted down everything I could remember from the brief nightmare. By the time I’d finished recording as many details as I could, my eyes had grown heavy again.

Curling onto my side, I looked up at the window over my bed. From this angle, I could see the night sky. It was clear, and a million stars blanketed it. Since she’d passed, stars always made me think of Yaya. They were mystical and magical. They held secrets, and if you could read them, they gave answers. They granted wishes...

Tonight, however, was different. Tonight, I thought of him. He’d said he was going west, somewhere to find peace. A streak of white, and a star shot past. I closed my eyes and made a quiet wish. Then I imagined him under a sky filled with stars just like the one outside my window.

* * *

Stuart

Derek sat with me through that long first night. He kept the fire going, and he kept the pain relievers and whiskey coming.

“Was your uncle always a rancher?” He asked after our third round of Jameson.

“No,” I said, taking another sip. We were having too much, but it dulled the pain significantly. “He was a fucking hippie. My dad hated him.”

“What the fuck is up with the brothers in your family?”

I laughed with him. The fact that I could do that right now told me I was one sip away from being shit-faced. “Too many strong personalities. Too little patience.”

“No shit.” Derek took another sip before lowering the glass beside him.

I’d set up a few logs around the fire, and it looked like we’d spend the night out here sitting in front of it drinking. It was cold as Valley Forge, but we were both wearing Carhartt jackets and the fire burned hot. Derek kept it stoked, so I didn’t have to move if I didn’t want to.

“When Patrick took your place, I thought I might have to kick his ass.” My partner laughed. “I couldn’t understand why you’d sent him to work with me.”

Grunting, I thought about Derek in those days. Allison had died, and he’d turned into a bigger, darker version of me when it came to women. He was angry, and he was mean. It wasn’t who he was.

“I was a bad influence on you.” I finished my glass before reaching for the near-empty bottle.

“You didn’t have anything to do with how I was back then.” He went quiet a moment. “Melissa is the skeleton key to that mystery.”

“Melissa’s your fiancée?” He’d only mentioned her a few times, but from the way his voice changed, she had to be pretty special. I knew how he’d felt about Allison.

“She’s fucking adopted your little brother.” He rubbed his face. “He took care of her at a time when I couldn’t.”

My lips tightened against another cramp twisting my midsection. “You owe him one,” I managed to grunt out.

His eyes cut to me then. “Need another ibuprofen?”

I held out my hand in an attempt to say no. He didn’t press it. Another thirty seconds, another minute, the pain finally eased. We were back to quiet. I thought he’d fallen asleep when he spoke again.

“You can’t fight for your country now. I get it.” He rubbed his forehead, probably trying to think against all the alcohol we’d consumed. “There has to be something you can fight for, though. Fuck, Stuart. Find something.”

Staring at the fire, I thought about it. He was working hard. He was doing what I’d do in his place if the tables were turned. He wouldn’t let me give up, and I appreciated the effort, even if I knew it was futile.

“Yeah,” I said, wanting to let him off the hook. “I’m going to work on that.”

My eyes rose to the stars spread over us. Nothing interested me as much as being in the service. Nothing fulfilled me the way working hard, being on a team, defending millions of Americans who never even knew my name did.

Derek’s breathing grew steady, and I knew he was asleep. I pushed myself through the pain and staggered back to the cabin. We both needed heavy blankets to get through this night.

A streak of white passed overhead, and I thought about shooting stars. They were pretty common out here, but some people had never seen them. Some people made wishes when they did. As I watched it fade, my mind drifted to a pair of sunset eyes I’d only seen once.

* * *

Mariska

Kenny had come so far since Slayde left. She wasn’t crying anymore. She ran all the time. I was ready to suggest she sign up for a marathon, wait for summer and become a triathlete, go for broke and do an Ironman.

What I couldn’t do was burden her with my problems.

Last night I’d woken up screaming. Screaming! My whole body was on fire, and the noise and explosions had my heart beating out of my chest.

The man with the dark hair was in a limp pile on the sand. I couldn’t tell if he was dead, and I couldn’t make my body move to get to him. Then those hands returned, dragging me away. The overwhelming stress of needing to get back, of him being out of reach, the anger at being dragged away... I was supposed to die, not him!

Oh god, it was too much. I couldn’t take another night of this, but I didn’t know what to do.

Flipping to the back of the notebook where I kept my smoothie recipes for the Jungle Gym, I sketched the outline of a face I’d only seen once. He was beautiful. Sexy, powerful, determined, and so wounded. I spent a lot of time on his eyes. They were more green than brown. I only shaded them lightly.

The more I drew, the more his soul emerged on the page looking back at me. My eyes burned and my heart ached for him. Why was I having his dreams? I was convinced the only way to make them stop was to go to him. 

I needed to talk to Kenny. We’d been best friends since we met in art class at college, and we’d always told each other everything—from Yaya’s passing to Lane’s birth and her fears that Elaine hated her to our plans for the future...

No. I couldn’t burden her with my suffering right now. She needed a break. Still, I didn’t know what else to do. Yaya said sometimes you had to follow your heart, even if it seemed to be leading you in an unexpected direction. Was it possible she’d tell me to follow this strange path and see where it led me?

Closing my eyes, I filled out the vacation slip for a week off of work. I wouldn’t think about it. I wouldn’t back down. This could either be the best decision or the biggest mistake I’d ever made.

Maybe I should talk to Kenny.

* * *

Stuart

We made it to the end of the week. Our second whiskey delivery was almost gone, and we’d talked about everything that had happened over the past two years. He’d told me about Melissa and having his son. I’d told him about private service and why it wasn’t the same as active duty.

We talked about the flashbacks. He didn’t have them as much as I did. Actually, he didn’t have them at all owing to the fact he’d been knocked unconscious by the grenade blast.

“They don’t upset me,” I said, watching the wind outside the cabin push the brown grasses flat as it crossed the open space. Ranger and Dakota were in a pop-up shelter my little brother had included in the supplies he’d brought. “I expected to have them. Honestly, I figured I’d have more before my career ended.”

Derek tilted the heavy glass back and forth, watching the amber liquid move side to side. “You’re the only person I’ve ever heard say something so bat-shit crazy.”

He wasn’t drinking as much as he had the first night. I was still fighting the pain, but whether it was the presence of a familiar friend or simply the passing of time, something had shifted. I was stronger. I was coming out of it.

“It goes with the territory.” I pushed out of my chair and made myself a small glass of water. I’d been popping a vitamin complex since I’d arrived at the ranch. Uncle Bill had suggested it based on his own private battles. “With the stress we were under, and what we faced every day...”

Derek watched me take the pill. “I guess there’s some logic there.”

Our conversations were like tower duty all over again, and again we’d come out on the other side.

When he spoke again, he sounded almost guilty. “I’m headed back tomorrow. Melissa wants me home with her and Dex for the holiday.”

Nodding I put the glass in the sink. “It’s a family time.”

“We’ve only been out here a week, but you look better.”

“Two weeks is how long they said for the physical symptoms to subside.” Staring out the dark square window over the sink, I thought about the other side of the coin. “They suggest self-help or meditation for the mental shit.”

Derek studied his palm. “It’s not a bad idea.”

I almost laughed, but I didn’t. “I’ve never been much for meditating.”

He nodded. “We can talk about it when I’m back.” Walking over to the small sofa, he glanced around the room. “You planning to sleep tonight?”

“Maybe.”

“If you change your mind, let me know so I can have the bed.”

“Take it now.” He was as tall as me and twice my size in straight muscle. “I sleep sitting up these days.”

He laughed and grabbed a pillow off the sofa. “Wake me if you need anything.”

We turned out the lamp and sat in the quiet for a while until I knew he was asleep. Sleep had eluded me so long, I couldn’t remember what it felt like to lie down and drift to that other place. In the darkness I thought about our conversation from the first night. Something to fight for, some reason to stay.

My partner would leave, my little brother would stay, and my future sister in law would arrive. The coming week was definitely shaping into a mental challenge, but I didn’t see a way around it.

* * *

Elaine

Thanksgiving break was here, and I was going to be with my man. I couldn’t throw my shit in my suitcase fast enough. Sweet baby Lane was with his family in Bayville, and as much as I loved that little boy to pieces, I was more than ready to have some alone-time with his daddy. I’d be on a plane headed west in less than two hours to spend my first holiday with the Knight men. I was practically skipping with excitement.

Stuart was a mystery to me. Patrick didn’t like him, and call me biased, but for Patrick not to like someone, he had to be a royal jerk. I mean, he would be my family soon, so I had to be nice. Still, I wasn’t letting him get me down. We’d deal with that situation, and in the meantime, I’d be with my guy.

I was almost ready to go when my phone sang out the special tone I’d reserved for Kenny. My stomach clenched, and I dropped everything, digging in my bag as fast as I could to find it.

“Is Lane okay?” My words flew out in a rush.

“Oh my god!” Kenny spoke so fast, I could almost see her clutching the sides of her hair. “Lainey, I’m sorry! He’s fine! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, no! It’s me,” I laughed, grabbing the reins. Take a breath, dial it back. “I didn’t expect you to call. What’s up?”

“Well...” she hesitated, and I was completely confused. If this wasn’t about Lane, I couldn’t imagine. “Just say it, goose. It can’t be that bad.”

She laughed in my ear, a soft little noise. “It’s silly is all. I have this friend. My best friend, actually. Mariska.” She hesitated again.

“Okay?”

“She wants to go with you to Montana.”

My brow lined. Kenny’s best friend wanted to go with me to Montana? “Okay. You know we’re friends now, right? So I’m just going to say it: What the hell?”

“I know!” she laughed. “But you don’t know her. I mean, you’ll like her a lot, but she’s like... well, she’s kind of umm... I don’t know the right word.” Her voice dropped, and I could tell this next bit embarrassed her. “She needs to go with you.”

“Oh!” I, by contrast, brightened at that. “Does she know Stuart?”

“Sort of.”

“Well, that’s good. He needs all the friends he can get from the way it sounds.” I especially liked the idea of having another person to take the focus off Patrick and me.

Kenny’s voice was skeptical. “Have you ever met Stuart?”

Stuffing the last of my things into my suitcase, I grunted as I dragged it off the bed. “Nope. This is going to be my first encounter with Captain Asshat.”

Peals of laughter met my ear. “Oh. My god. What did you just call him?”

“That’s what Patrick calls him.”

“Have I told you I love your fiancé?” She was still laughing, but I squinted one eye.

“Now I’m completely suspicious.”

She caught her breath and suppressed another laugh. “Just hold that thought until we talk again. In the meantime, would you be okay if Mare tags along?”

“Actually, I’ll kind of like it.” Making my way quickly through my condo, I stopped outside the door. “I didn’t want to be the only female at our first meeting, and if she’s friends with Stuart, me and Patrick can have more alone-time.”

“Of course!” Kenny laughed. “Always the most important thing.”

“Always. Can she meet me at the airport?”

She hesitated a moment. “I think she’s going to meet you in Great Falls. When are you getting in?”

Pulling out my phone, I scrolled through my flight details. “Eight-fifteen.”

“I’ll let her know.” I could tell she was making notes. “And seriously. I can’t wait to hear what you think after you’ve met him.”

My curiosity was at an all-time high.

* * *

Getting off the plane in Great Falls, I realized I’d forgotten to ask Kenny anything about her friends’ appearance. I had no idea what I was looking for. Just then my phone dinged with a text.

Thought you might need this. Kenny had texted a picture of the two of them to my phone while I was in flight.

Mariska was actually really pretty. She had long, light-brown hair and a slightly olive complexion. In the photo Kenny had sent, the two of them were hugged cheek to cheek, and as usual, Kenny’s crystal blue eyes stood out against her fair skin and dark hair. Mariska was more sultry—hazel eyes that hinted at all sorts of layers of mischief against a caramel background. She looked fun, and I liked her right away.

“Elaine?” Looking up from my phone, I spotted the girl in question headed towards me. Her voice was slightly higher than I’d expected, and she wore black leggings and a black bodysuit with a sheer floral tunic on top and black booties. A long, sparkling-green scarf was around her neck, and her light-brown hair hung in loose waves down her back. “Kenny’s shown me pictures of you with Lane! It’s so great to meet you!”

She stepped right into a hug, and I didn’t resist. I hugged her back. “Of course! So you’re here for Stuart?”

Her expression wavered, and her lip caught in her teeth. “Umm... Yes?”

“Perfect. I’m here for Patrick, so we can all go our separate ways when we get there. Meet up at dinner.” I elbowed her just as my bag appeared at the top of the carousel. Turning away quickly, I thought I caught a worried glint in her eye. When I looked back it was gone.

It didn’t matter because just then I spotted Patrick walking through baggage claim, looking for us. He was dressed in jeans and a tan, canvass jacket, and he actually had on cowboy boots. I squealed and took off towards him, leaving everything at Mariska’s feet.

He’d spotted me just before I jumped into his arms, and I caught the spark in his eyes as our mouths crashed together. Lips parted, tongues entwined, his arms were strong around my waist, and I didn’t give a shit who was watching.

Lowering me to my feet, he smoothed both hands on my cheeks. “I am so damn happy to see your face.”

I laughed and kissed him again. “You are so damn fine in cowboy boots, Mr. Knight. You have to wear those all the time. Nothing else.”

He grinned and that sexy dimple pierced his cheek. “I’m ready for you to be wearing nothing else. Let’s get back to the house.”

“What’s taking so long!” Our hands entwined, and I pulled him in the direction I’d come. “I already got the bags, and do you know Mariska?”

She was hanging back, smiling shyly as we approached. Patrick’s sunny voice greeted her first.

“Oh, yeah—Kenny’s friend?” He stepped forward and gave her a hug. “You were at the gym... and you made that really good stuffed cabbage.”

“Right!” she nodded, a smile replacing her worried expression.

I shook my head. This man never met a woman who didn’t love him, and he never forgot a good meal.

“Cool earrings.” He pointed to the little skulls she wore in her ears. “You were right about Stuart being here. Thanks for the tip. Did he ask you to come?”

“Oh, well—”

“Let’s chat on the road!” I interrupted, scooping Mariska’s arm into mine. “I need to freshen up. Maybe take a shower?”

Patrick’s eyes twinkled at me, and I couldn’t stop a grin. This week was going to kick ass.

* * *

Mariska

Reality slammed into me like a thousand-pound medicine ball. What the hell was I doing here? It was like I’d had some moment of pure, one-hundred percent, temporary insanity! I’d cashed in all my frequent flyer miles, traveled halfway across the country... to do what?

Stand around and lie to everybody, apparently.

My hands were clammy and I could barely breathe. I was going to see him again in less than an hour. If Elaine hadn’t been gripping my arm as we strode out to Patrick’s pick-up, I would have turned and run all the way back to the ticket counter and taken the first flight home.

She was so pretty in faded blue jeans and a grey cowl-neck sweater. Her long blonde hair was over one shoulder, and of course, she had on cowboy boots. Patrick was handsome as always, and the only saving grace was they were too busy touching each other and swapping innuendo to notice how badly I was freaking out. They put me in the tiny backseat of the extended cab, and we headed out on some lonely road into what looked like the middle of nowhere.

Great. This was just great. With each passing mile, I was getting further and further from any way out of the mess I’d created. I was rapidly moving toward complete and total humiliation. My stomach was so tight, it was very possible I’d throw up before the night ended.

Elaine took a break from touching her fiancé to turn and smile at me. “Do you like horses, Mariska?”

“Sure.” My voice cracked, and I looked down at my trembling hands clutched in my lap. “I-I hope you don’t mind me tagging along for the holiday.”

“No way! Friends are always welcome.” Patrick was so easygoing, I completely understood why he drove Kenny crazy—and why she called him her big brother. “The house is huge, and my uncle is going to love you.”

Blinking up at him, my brow lined. “Why do you say that?”

“He’s an old hippie himself.”

“Patrick!” Elaine slapped him on the arm. “Mariska’s Boho Goth. Pay attention.”

Her humor only escalated the panic I was feeling. I kind of already liked Elaine. I wondered how angry she’d be when I told her I’d lied about knowing Stuart. Would she yell at me? Would she think I was a complete whack-job?

“I’ll show you attention.” He grabbed her face and kissed her quick before putting his hand back on the wheel.

I looked into the darkness outside my window. “We’re really far away from town.” My stomach was sick at the prospect of the awkward drive back to the airport. Maybe I could call a cab?

“Wait until you see it on horseback,” Patrick answered. “If the Chinook comes down, we’ll ride out to the lake. It’s beautiful... well, it’s beautiful everywhere.”

“I can’t wait to see it with you.” Elaine’s nose crinkled, and she slid her hand behind his neck. I watched her fingers thread into his hair before glancing out the window again.

It was too cold to hitch a ride back to town. Temperatures were already dipping into the teens, and snow wouldn’t be far away. Coming here like this was the craziest thing I’d ever done in my entire life, and now I’d have to face the consequences.

At the same time, maybe it was the right thing? Oh, god, I shivered, I couldn’t even hope for that much. All I knew was I couldn’t have that dream again.