Chapter 9: Layers Deep

Stuart

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All the things I decided, my plans, what was coming... all of it went out the window with Mariska. I didn’t know what I wanted. It was all fucked up and wrong, but I’d brought her to this place. My place.

I’d done my best not to think about her, to forget the feel of her lips against mine, the taste of cool water on her tongue. I’d gone back to Bill’s with one goal in mind—I’d gather my things and stay at the cabin until they were gone. I’d be safe here.

Then she appeared. She touched me, and what did I do? I deflowered her, brought her here, and proceeded to fuck her four more times. Shit! Now she lay beside me asleep, looking like some gorgeous promise of a different future, new plans.

No. I shook my head and slipped from the bed, away from her. This was part of the process. My will was still in recovery. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but if I let it go further, it would all be on me.

Walking to the coffee pot, I pulled it out and started the process. Water in the carafe, grounds in the strainer. My back didn’t hurt. Putting the machine back together and hitting the On button, I leaned to the side. No pain. Leaning to the other side yielded the same result. I felt strong.

Glancing at the bed again, I thought of last night. She’d spent more time working on my back than she had the first time—most likely because we were pretty well satisfied sexually. When she finished, I actually did fall asleep. I awoke later in the night in the darkness to find her curled next to me. In the past, I didn’t spend the night with the women I slept with. As a result, I never knew how immensely satisfying it could be to wake with a hard on and pull her to me. Arms around her waist, I couldn’t tell if she was completely awake, but she didn’t resist. My hands went under her shirt to cup her breasts. My face was in her jasmine hair, and I kissed that sensitive spot behind her ear. A little moan, and I slipped between her thighs from behind. She was slippery and wet. Bracing her against me, I move hard and fast. Her back arched as I drove deeper, and it didn’t take long before we finished. Another moan, a sated kiss, and we were asleep again. God, it was fantastic. What the hell was I doing?

I heard her sigh, and she stretched an arm over her head. The coffee finished dripping, and I turned away from the hypnotic sight of her, trying to think this through. I brought her here so we could get to know each other better. That’s all. Sure. What the hell kind of lies was I telling myself these days?

“How long have you been up?” Her voice was high and thick with sleep. I reached for mugs and poured two cups of coffee.

“Long enough to make this.” I carried them to the table. “Cream and sugar?”

“Just cream.” She pushed the pillows up against the headboard as she watched me. She pulled my flannel shirt over her naked torso, and I averted my eyes, pouring cream into hers, nothing in mine.

Stepping over to the bed, I handed her the mug then sat on the sofa. “Sleep well?”

The fire had gone out, but it was still warm inside, the result of it not getting very cold out.

“Yes.” She spoke around a sip of coffee. Then a sly tone filled her voice. “It seems I remember another little bonus around midnight.”

“I’m detecting a pattern.”

“I wasn’t wet or naked!” Her voice was still teasing.

“You did touch me, however.”

At that she started to laugh. I couldn’t help a smile curling my lips. Dammit.

“So what are we doing today?” She took another sip. “Besides more of the same, of course.”

“Glad you’re finally onboard with the program.” Another giggle from the bed. “Actually, there’s a lake close by. I’m pretty sure no one goes there but me.”

She was quiet, sipping. My eyes moved from the dying embers to her. She only watched me over the rim of her mug.

“I’d be very interested to know what you’re thinking right now, Ms....” I thought about it. “I don’t know your last name.”

“Heron.” Her reply was quiet. “I don’t know your middle name, Mr. Knight.”

“William.”

“Same as your uncle?”

“It’s a family name.”

She took another sip, and I watched her thinking. “What’s your middle name?”

“Renee.”

“Mariska Renee Heron.” It rolled off my tongue like music.

“Stuart William Knight.”

Quiet again filled the cabin. Serious quiet. The exchanging of names. I ended that moment. “Do you feel like swimming?”

“Yes.” She sat up and placed her mug on the side table. Scooting to the edge of the bed, I caught the twinkle in her eye. “That should cover wet, and I’m sure at some point I’ll touch you.”

Damn if that didn’t provoke a rise in my jeans. “Is it still a bonus if it happens repeatedly?”

“Don’t be such a stickler for the rules, Stuart William.” She skipped across the room to where I sat, lightly kissing my lips. Things only became tighter across my fly.

“It’s who I am, Miss Heron.”

“Maybe some things can change, Mr. Knight.”

* * *

Before we left for the lake, I checked in on Freckles. She’d stayed quiet in the shelter, and she wasn’t in danger of getting too cold. Horses in this part of the country developed longer coats that made them look almost plush. She nickered and pushed at me as I filled her food bag.

“Hey, girl.” I scratched behind her ear while she ate. “This is all your fault, you know?”

No response. She chewed as I remembered the day she reared on Mariska. I remembered the flash of adrenaline in my veins at the thought of that beautiful girl being hurt. It was only slightly less than my panic when Cheyenne returned riderless. The fucking protective instinct was only growing stronger the more time I spent around her.

Rebellious anger twisted in my gut as my mind insisted what had to be done. A knot ached in the front of my throat. This battle was different from coming off the drugs. Drugs sucker-punched me when I was down, hitting me with pain and nausea I couldn’t fight. What I was dealing with now was completely different, and I was stone-cold sober.

The swish of feet moving through the grass followed closely by the scent of ham and cheese broke through my angry thoughts.

“Hungry?” Mariska held out a small parcel wrapped in a paper napkin. Taking it from her, I recognized eggs mixed with a slice of the pork from dinner last night and cheese.

Taking it, I gave her a little nod of thanks. “I thought you didn’t like to cook.”

“Just because I don’t like to doesn’t mean I can’t.” She stood back and crossed her arms watching me.

Giving her a reluctant smile, ignoring the battle waging in my chest, I took a bite. Shit it was fucking delicious. “Mmm...” I couldn’t help a groan. Months of eating poorly were catching up with me.

She laughed and shook her head before going back to the house. “I’ll put on my swimsuit.”

Standing beside Freckles, I finished breakfast in three bites.

* * *

Mariska

The smaller lake was secluded and gorgeous. I wasn’t sure how much longer we had of this Chinook, but every day felt like borrowed time. Sort of like every day I spent with Stuart. The fight was back in his eyes, and I knew we had gotten too close this morning. Or perhaps it was last night when he pulled me to him in the darkness.

Either way, as he alternated between playful and hostile, I knew his resistance was raging back. As for me, I’d brought a leopard-print bikini, because... well, why the hell not? All my cards were in. I had nothing to lose now, and I planned to fight dirty.

Discarding the bandeau top, I pulled on a loose-weave beige cover-up. The knit was essentially a series of open circles that created an even sexier effect than topless. My breasts played peek-a-boo at every turn. Just for fun, I braided my hair in a thick rope over my shoulder.

Stuart took one look at me and cleared his throat, facing the water. “I’m pretty sure this is a mineral spring.”

“Do they have those in Montana?”

“A few resorts south of here, near Elkhorn and Helena, are famous for them.”

Stepping into the pool, I was intrigued. “You know, hot springs are known for healing properties?”

He stepped forward as well. “FDR bought one to cure his polio.”

The water was warm and lovely. I took off my top and pushed gently through the waves. “It feels amazing. Like a spa.”

Stuart seemed to forget his internal battle. He slipped off his shorts and continued into the spring completely naked. My whole body sizzled at the sight of him submerging in the pool. I wanted to wrap around that again.

“Now I feel overdressed.” I pulled off my leopard-print bottoms and held them over my head, giving them a little spin. “Skinny dipping for the win!”

He cracked the tiniest smile. “I’m thinking about what you said.”

Dog paddling toward him, I tossed my bottoms onto the bank. “You don’t need a mineral spring. What you have with will heal on its own with regular therapy and time.”

His brow lined. “I don’t have time.”

Stuart William Knight... I couldn’t help a tiny growl moving through my brain. As much fun as I loved to have, I managed to fall for this gorgeous, strong, sexy, absolutely impossible man.

“What’s the rush?” I pushed my arms, moving back out toward the middle of the lake.

He glanced up at me. “You wouldn’t understand.”

A new response. “Try me.”

His brow lowered. Damn his angry, determined look that made my insides go all gooey. I matched it with my own, and he turned his back, giving me the full view of those broad shoulders, the nice V at his waist, and of course, that perfect ass. I loved running my hands all over him during “therapy.”

Since he wouldn’t answer, I decided on distraction maneuvers. “Do you think I might be getting a tan?” Inspecting my arm, it seemed a shade darker, and I was sure I saw more caramel in my brown hair.

“It’s possible.” His back was still turned, and I admired the golden glow covering his skin.

“I’ve always tanned easily, ever since I was young.”

He stretched his arms out and did a long push across the small pond. “I feel good,” he said quietly.

“You look good,” I said equally quietly. Then a little louder, “What did you want to be before you wanted to be a Marine?”

Looking up, he seemed to think. “Cowboy.”

That made me laugh. “I can believe it.” He drifted closer to me, his lips just at the surface.

“What about you?”

“I played My Little Pony.” He rose a bit in the water so I could see his lip curl. I laughed again. “You disapprove?”

“I don’t know. What is it?”

“Rainbows and the magic of friendship.” A laugh pushed through his lips and splashed the water. I swam to him. This man had fucked me five ways from Sunday. I’d be damned if I allowed any distance between us now. Going straight into his arms, I wrapped mine around his neck. “What was your favorite cartoon?”

“Shazam.”

Now my lip curled. “What’s that?”

“Captain Marvel.” His hands lightly traced their way around my waist, and I shivered. His voice was more relaxed. “What was your favorite band?”

“Oh, no,” I shook my head. “You’ll only make fun of me.”

“Let me guess. Backstreet Boys.”

My laughter danced across the water, and he turned me so my back was against his chest. I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Mmm... I love your skin against mine.”

Lips touched my neck before he spoke again. “First sexy movie?”

“Henry and June.”

“Artistic sexy.” Lips touched higher, behind my ear. “I should’ve guessed.”

“How about you?” I turned in the water so we faced each other again, nose to nose, lips a breath apart.

“I think it was... Nine and a Half Weeks?”

“You like playing with your food.” He smiled, and I leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the mouth.

“I like playing with you.”

A thrill surged straight to my core. “Do you bring many women here, Mr. Knight?”

I was teasing, but his expression changed. “I’ve never brought anyone here.”

“Why not?”

His shoulders lifted me with his shrug. “It’s always been my place.”

Under the warm, mineral spring, my nipples lightly grazed his chest. Whatever it was doing for him, it was sending all kinds of sensations through me.

“Now it’s ours?”

That brought him up short. “No.”

He took my arms from around his neck, but when he turned, I felt something hard and stiff brush against my hip. His erection made me giggle.

“I felt that.”

He didn’t respond. He was back to being broody and distant, and it was pissing me off. “What’s the matter with you?” I pushed against him, and he flashed.

“Dammit, Mariska.” We were both angry now, our voices raised, but I wasn’t afraid anymore. I knew he wanted me.

“Do you remember that day in the barn?” he said. “After we rode back from the lake?”

“The day you kissed me?”

He was undeterred. “I told you I would leave. It hasn’t changed. I’m going to leave.”

Nodding, I traced my finger through the water. “It seems I remember suggesting you take me with you.”

“When I go, I go alone.”

Blinking up at him, I tried to understand this. Here we were, granted it was only Day 2 of our getaway. Still, we had this connection. We talked about everything. We could barely keep our hands off each other. It was hypnotic and passionate, and it had all the makings of something real and lasting... And this is what he did.

“What’s so great about being alone?”

His eyes narrowed, but he took the question as seriously as I put it. “No one gets hurt except me. I have no weaknesses.”

“You’re thinking like a soldier.”

“A Marine.”

My mind filtered through everything I knew. “Derek’s a Marine. He’s also a daddy and soon to be a husband.”

“Derek’s always been different from me.”

“So I’m a weakness.” Pressing my lips together, I wouldn’t argue with him any more. I was mad.

I swam back to the shore and climbed out of the water. It was warm and delicious running down my legs, but I scooped up my bikini bottoms and stepped into them, quickly pulling them over my hips. Next was the loose-knit top I’d worn. It was over my head in a quick swipe.

“What are you doing?” Stuart’s voice was level, but I could sense a change.

Looking back at him, my braid flipped over my shoulder. “More than one of us can leave.”

With that, I set off toward the cabin. We’d strolled here at a leisurely pace, but I took a fast, determined stride. Minutes later, I was back, pushing through the door and grabbing my bag. When Stuart made me drive over in the truck, I’d been sad because I’d wanted to ride with him again. I wanted my back pressed against his chest, his strong arms around my waist, our hands clasped. We were at the start of this mini-escape, and my brain was full of romantic dreams.

Today, I realized my head was just as hard as his, and I was glad I had a truck to drive back to the ranch. I almost wished I had a plane ticket as well. All of my things were quickly shoved into the duffel I’d brought, and I reached for the door when it opened on its own.

Stuart stood in my way, water dripping from his hair, eyes blazing. “You’re not leaving.”

As angry as I was, my breath still caught at the site of him, towering over me, seeming twice his normal size.

“Yes, I am.” My voice was annoyingly small.

He surveyed me a moment before stepping into the cabin and pulling the door closed behind him with a slam. I was trapped. “Why?”

My brow lined. All the reasons I should go and never look back crowded together in my mind fighting each other to get out. The result was me stuttering. “You... Are you? Seriously...?”

In one quick move, Stuart caught me, pulling my face to his.

“Stop!” I cried out, slapping his hand off my cheeks.

I was angry. He was angry. I pushed at him, trying to get past, and he caught my arm, jerking it behind my back.

“Ow!” I shouted, twisting to get free. “Let me go!”

“No.” His eyes were dark, and something wicked, low in my stomach tingled in response.

I pushed and fought harder. He blocked every blow, holding my wrists, turning them away, lifting me off the ground, pulling me closer to him. We were both breathing hard, our chests moving together.

My voice was low and angry. “What do you want, Stuart?”

In that moment, I saw the break in his eyes. “You.”

Two blinks passed between us before our mouths crashed together. His large hands were on me, tearing my sweater, grasping my breasts. I whimpered, desperately holding on, chasing his kisses with mine, trying to hold him as his mouth moved over me. It was rough and painful, and my insides throbbed for him.

He lifted me in his arms, and we crashed against the sofa on the way to the bed, lips reconnecting. I grasped at his hair, his neck. His mouth moved to my chin and he lowered me then jerked my bikini bottoms off. I made a little noise, but he didn’t stop. His shorts were off just as fast, and he gripped my waist, turning me on my stomach and pushing into me from behind.

“Oh, god!” We both groaned as he filled me. Rocking the bed, he lifted me off my feet with the force of his thrusting. Pain mixed with pleasure, and I tried to hold on, I tried to keep up as he fought this battle with himself.

His body flexed and then arched over my shoulder, sending him deeper than he’d ever been. I moaned louder, and a matching groan rumbled from his throat.

“Stuart,” I gasped. In this position, my clit was pressed and rubbed against the mattress. It sent shockwaves tingling and shooting down my legs matching the force of him stretching and invading me from behind. The sensation was overwhelming.

Every muscle below my waist tightened with each move. My orgasm was snaking up my legs, and my eyes squeezed shut at the building release.

He jerked into me harder and then Smack! A hard slap stung across my ass. Threading his fingers into my braid, he pulled my head against his shoulder.

“Oh!” I whimpered, reeling from the conflicting sensations.

“You’re not leaving.” His beard scuffed against the sensitive spot on my neck, and electricity shattered through my core.

My eyes squeezed shut as my orgasm, wicked and intense, blazed through my legs. “Stuart,” I cried.

He pulled my hair again, biting at my neck. “Say it.” It was a hoarse command coupled with a deep thrust.

His intense possessiveness, his grip, his words... all of it combined with the sensations racking my body to make my head swim. What was he doing to me?

“Say it.” He demanded.

My thighs shook. Each push took him deeper, and he kept scrubbing my clit against the mattress. I’d gone from mind-numbing orgasm to pleasure that was now painful.

“I’m not leaving,” I gasped, needing him to stop.

He didn’t stop. He gave me three more swift thrusts before holding himself deep inside me, leaning over my shoulder as he groaned through his orgasm. He pulsed, filling me, then growing still. My heart beat so hard, and I couldn’t move. My bones were liquid as I lay on the bed.

Two more breaths, and he climbed onto the mattress, pulling me with him. I couldn’t resist if I wanted to as he wrapped me in his arms, holding me against his chest. His face was at my shoulder, buried in my hair, and he breathed deeply. We were both panting. Holding him, I could feel his pulse at my temple.

“Stuart,” I whispered.

“You’re mine.” He rumbled against my skin. “You don’t leave me.”

My jaw clenched. I was still recovering from that blazing fuck, and I hated how shockingly true his words were. I’d need the strength of Hercules to walk away from him. At the same time, I knew I had to stay strong.

“But you can leave me?”

He didn’t answer. He only held me firm against his chest. Our breath swirled in and out, mixing and mingling, and I wondered if he’d ever let me go. I wondered if I ever wanted him to. After a few moments, he did relax. He reached down and pulled the Indian blanket over me. Kissing my shoulder, he went to the bathroom and closed the door.

I pulled the blanket tight around me trying to calm my swirling emotions.