Chapter 10: Change of Plans

Stuart

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Mariska was asleep on the bed as I pulled on my jeans and canvass jacket. My eyes didn’t leave her as I stepped into my boots. They traveled from her loose chestnut waves spread over the pillow to her lips, red and a little swollen. I’d been too rough with her. I couldn’t help it. Shaking my head, I grabbed my hat and pushed through the door.

Freckles was quickly saddled, and we set off across the plain at a fast gallop in the direction of the falls. The sky was wide open. We were coming to the end of the Chinook, the reprieve from the harsh, bitter cold that would blanket this area for months. It seemed fitting for the mood I was in—facing the end. Only the end of what? I couldn’t seem to answer that question.

The noise of galloping hooves formed a monotonous soundtrack as my thoughts wandered far into the horizon. My life had always been overseas. I graduated school and left, never planning to come back—at least not to stay. Yet doing what I was born to do had changed everything. My injury forced me to leave the only life I ever wanted. I was born to serve and protect, and they’d sent me home to join the faceless millions.

Derek said to find something new to serve and protect. Pulling Freckles to a stop, I slid out of the saddle to the ground. Releasing the reins, I started walking, pushing my legs through the brown grasses, heading for nowhere in particular. My stomach hurt. It wasn’t a cramp. It was the sensation of air leaving my body in a rush. The truth hit me so hard, it knocked the wind out of me. Something new to serve and protect. Mariska.

The day I saw her in the gym, she was like a mythical creature. Something sailors encountered on long voyages. But was she singing me to safety or pulling me away from my proper course?

A small, rocky outcrop provided a seat. I leaned against it, resting my arms on my knees. She did so many things to me. She eased my pain. She made me relax. She made me laugh. She made me happy. She was mine.

Pushing my head in my hands, my hat slid back. My vision filled with scenes of me in the desert. Fearless, carefree, I went wherever the mission led. I didn’t look back or worry about who was at home. I didn’t write letters. If something needed to be done, I did it because it was why I was there. I’d always been that way. I was one of the best in the Corps as a result. Until the injury.

I was the same in private security. I was at the top of the pecking order, and I commanded the highest salary. Everyone did what I said, followed my orders. It was an acceptable substitute for where I really wanted to be. Until the drugs started, and I discovered people followed my orders in everything. They would do whatever it took to keep me working, even if it meant crippling me. I started out with one wound and came home with two, the second one invisible.

Which led me to this place. To this beautiful girl, who healed both my wounds. My leg was better than it had ever been drug-free, and the emptiness in my chest was gone. Now I tried to picture myself going back to the way I used to be. Going out with the guys, taking home whatever woman caught my eye. My jaw clenched. The notion of sleeping with someone not Mariska filled my stomach with disgust.

I could only see her long, brown waves, her small breasts and golden eyes blinking up at me as she came... Pushing to my feet, I started back in for the cabin. I didn’t believe I could change, but I needed to see her again. I needed to hear her voice and know what she was thinking. If anything, it would give me something to go on, a starting point for figuring out what happened next.

* * *

Mariska

My entire body was sore when I opened my eyes in the quiet cabin. I was warm under the Indian blanket and my thoughts traveled back over the day. We were at the lake. I held him, loving him, and he pushed me away. He wanted to be alone.

I’d give him alone.

I collected my remaining clothes, my torn sweater, and shoved them in my bag. His gray Henley lay across the couch, so I pulled it over my head before stepping into my jeans and boots. I was out the door, throwing my bag in the truck bed and not looking back.

Freckles was gone. Pulling his shirt over my nose, I took a deep breath of Stuart scent. My eyes closed and I imagined him somewhere riding her. He’d be angry when he came back and found me gone, but I had to do this. I had to force him to see what we had. I pulled down the visor and caught the silver keys. I loved him. It was that simple. I’d come here wanting him then I’d given him everything, and the more time we spent together, the deeper I loved him. Even if that meant I had to fight him.

His reaction to the idea of me leaving was definitely encouraging, if a little painful. A shiver moved through my body. It was also smoking hot. He was right... I did like it rough. With him at least.

All these thoughts swirled in my head as I pulled into the yard and saw a new car at the house. A steel-grey Cadillac was parked conspicuously in the middle of Bill’s old Ford and Patrick’s rented Chevy.

I pulled the classic Silverado I drove just below it and hopped out, lifting my bag from the bed. Elaine walked out onto the porch as I approached, and her face lit.

“Mariska!” She hopped down the steps and flew to my side, but her face immediately crinkled. “Where’s Stuart?”

A knot tightened in my throat and for the first time all day, I thought I might cry. “I left him.” It was as much as I could say.

“What happened?”

Shaking my head, I looked down. I couldn’t get into the whole thing with her here. We were on the porch, and Elaine stood in front of me. She held my shoulders, studying my expression.

“I was so happy when I saw your text. It was like everything made sense—you coming here, the crazy-protective way he’s been acting, all of it.”

She left her sentence hanging, and I knew she wanted me to fill in the rest. Clearing my throat, I grabbed hold of my emotions. “He says he’s leaving, and he wants to be alone.”

Elaine’s green eyes narrowed. “Horse shit.”

My mouth dropped open, and then we both started to laugh. A tear rolled down my cheek, and she pulled me into a hug laughing more. It was very possible I was losing it because I didn’t think I could stop laughing.

With a sniff, my new bestie straightened up. She smoothed my hair back from my face and leaned closer, speaking low. “You’re completely under his skin, and as much as Captain Asshat likes to act so tough, I’m betting money he’s running scared.”

“Maybe. But even if that’s the truth, I have to walk away or he’ll never see it.”

“You’re absolutely right.” Her arm was back around my shoulder as she led me into the house. “The fact that you know him so well just proves you’re meant to be together.”

Animated voices rang out from the kitchen area, and I glanced at Elaine. “Who’s here?”

“Oh!” She took off toward the noise, dragging me behind her. “Their mom Sylvia got here last night! Patrick told her to come and spend Thanksgiving with us.”

The date hit me. “Oh my god. It’s today!”

“You haven’t missed a thing. We’re being very casual this year, since everything’s been thrown in the air. Patrick’s old secretary Nikki flew in with her.”

My brow lined. “Is that weird?”

“Well, she’s not really his old secretary. She’s the office manager in Princeton. She knows Stuart, too.”

Rounding the corner, Bill and Patrick sat at the table across from a lovely older woman with sandy brown hair and sparkling green eyes. Beside her was a younger woman with white-blonde hair and blue eyes wearing a very tight wrap-dress.

“Elaine! Who is this?” The older woman stood and rounded the table. Her shoulder-length hair was swept back, and she wore beige slacks with a studded belt and boots. Her white ruffled shirt was open to reveal a large dark-blue Cabochon necklace.

“Sylvia, I want you to meet Mariska.”

“Ahh.” Mrs. Knight stopped to inspect my appearance, and I was acutely aware that I was in her son’s shirt, no bra, and my hair was completely bedhead.

“You were at the cabin with Stuart? His cabin?” Her green eyes narrowed.

“I... well, yes.” My cheeks blazed, but Sylvia caught me around the shoulders.

“That’s fantastic! Stuart has always been my problem child when it came to settling down. Whatever did you do to him?”

“She put a spell on him!” Elaine hopped over to wrap her arms around Patrick, who pulled one to his mouth and kissed it. “Mariska’s a gypsy.”

“No shit! You never told me that!” Patrick laughed, and for a split second, I wished his older brother had a little more of the younger Knight in him. Patrick was a blast.

“Language, please.” His mother shook her head, and I would’ve laughed if not for the daggers being shot at me from Blondie’s eyes.

“Aw, shit, Mom. I’m sorry.”

Sylvia slapped her son’s shoulder, but I heard Nikki speak under her breath. “Gypsy.” Her tone was definitely annoyed.

“So what can you do?” Patrick had pulled Elaine around, and she was now on his lap.

“Don’t be an ass!” She pinched him, and he laughed. “She’s not a trained monkey!”

“You’ve been holding out on us! Can you tell my fortune?”

How I ended up in this conversation, I couldn’t fathom. “My grandmother taught me to read coffee grounds... but it’s really just for fun.” I didn’t mention everything she taught me—interpreting dreams, sensing auras.

“Please ignore him.” Sylvia stepped back to me and caught my hand. “We completely ambushed you. Why don’t you freshen up, and we can visit more when you’re ready.”

“Thanks.” I smiled up at her, grateful for the escape.

I walked down the hall to my room and dropped my bag on the bed. My skin was tight from the mineral spring, and I hadn’t showered since Stuart manhandled me. Unzipping the black case, I pulled out my toiletries bag and grabbed the green silk robe Elaine loaned me when we got here. She’d insisted it was fine—she brought three. Going into the hall bathroom, I didn’t bother to turn the lock. I was the only one on this wing who used it, since Patrick and Elaine had a suite.

The large, jetted tub filled slowly, and I sat on the stone edge, holding my hand under the warm water. The bathroom was rustic, with natural wood and stone décor. Very manly and cowboy like everything here.

With a sigh, I pulled my knee up and rested my chin on it as I tied up my hair. Of course Stuart dominated my thoughts, just like he dominated all of me. I wondered what he’d do when he got back and found me gone. I remembered his anger. I remembered that break in his eyes when he’d said he wanted me. A pulse of warmth moved through my chest. Another silly tear rolled down my cheek. Things between us could be so easy. Why did he have to make it so hard?

Elaine had also loaned me a jar of bath salts that smelled divine. I unscrewed the lid and took a whiff of Cactus Flower before pouring it into my bath. The entire room filled with the aroma. I let the robe slide down my back and stepped in, relaxing completely in the warm-hot water. I wasn’t tired, since I’d napped earlier, but sitting with my back against the jet released all the tension of fighting with the one I loved.

I was a prune when my eyes opened again. My hair needed to be washed, but I’d deal with it later. For now it looked like a trendy updo.

Wrapped in only the silk robe as I walked to my bedroom, I couldn’t miss the loud SLAM! of the front door. It made me jump in my tracks.

Next came Sylvia’s loud greeting. “Stuart! I wondered how long it would take for you to appear.”

“Not now, Mother.” His voice was a low growl, and I couldn’t mistake the thump of boots headed in my direction.

I ran for my bedroom, making it inside and pushing the door closed before it pushed right back open. My heart hammered against my chest. Stuart stood there gorgeous and fuming. He slammed the door behind him never taking his eyes off me.

For a moment, his stern expression slipped. His eyes skimmed my body wrapped only in green silk, and my skin caught fire with every lusty thought I saw reflected in them.

Finally, they returned to hold my gaze. “I told you not to leave.”

“I needed to come back here.” I couldn’t believe how calm my voice sounded.

“Why?” The muscle in his jaw moved, and I felt my resistance slipping.

Fight, Mariska. I answered him with all the frustration he’d put in me. “You know why.”

“You wouldn’t leave here without telling Elaine. You took a fucking half-hour to write her a damn note, but you left me without a word.”

My jaw dropped, but I recovered fast. “First, that’s a total exaggeration. Second, I did tell you. I told you at the lake.”

He crossed the room, catching my arm. My breath sped up. “We discussed that. You said you’d stay.”

“We didn’t discuss anything. You fucked me and made me say that.” Jerking my arm back, I caught my robe that had slipped open.

His eyes darkened at the glimpse of skin I’d accidentally revealed. I wasn’t trying to seduce him now, as heavenly as the prospect was. I needed him to come to me on his own, without sexual coercion.

“Are you trying to provoke me, Mariska? Because if you are, it’s working. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this angry.”

“Why are you angry? Because I won’t play your games? Because I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to walk out?”

His eyes blazed, and he caught me by the forearms. “It’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is!” I pushed his hands away, and my damn robe fell open.

Rough hands immediately went around my waist pulling me against his body. His mouth was at my cheek. “You know it’s not.”

“Let me go, Stuart.” My voice was stern, but he only held me closer. His hands scratched across my bare back, and the fabric of his shirt was rough against my sensitive nipples. Heat flared between my legs.

“All of this... it’s a lot to take in.” He kissed my temple, making his way down my cheek.

He had me. The warmth of his embrace, the intense pressure of him refusing to let me go was winning, but I pushed his arms. This time he relented, and I jammed the robe back around my naked body, tying the sash tight. Being silk, it was already slipping open again.

I turned so he couldn’t see me struggle. Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly, finding control again. What I’d said to Kenny was in my mind. I couldn’t fight his battle. We’d reached the point where nothing I said or did mattered anymore. I had to be strong. He wouldn’t respect me otherwise.

It hurt. It hurt badly. It ripped my insides in two, but I said it. “Please stay away from me until you know what you want. I need you to stay away from me.”

Silence filled the room. I struggled to breathe as I died inside. If he fought me, I’d give in. It would be a mistake, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

I heard the noise of his arms cross followed by a deep exhale. “That’s what you want?”

Nodding, I managed to answer him. “I’m headed back to Bayville. I’m trying to get a flight out Sunday.”

More silence. I was afraid to turn around. Finally he spoke. “It isn’t what I want, but if you need space—”

“I do. Thank you.”

His arms dropped. I waited until he’d left the room and closed the door to collapse on the bed, burying my face in my pillow. I thought of everything he’d said, and everything he didn’t say. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t be a casualty of his war. He’d said he wouldn’t put me in danger, but he didn’t say he’d never hurt me. All I could do now was pick up my heart and keep moving forward, holding onto the hope that one day he’d see what I already knew.