Elsie

“Okay, that’s pretty screwed up,” I say, because it is. That’s gotta be really weird for a child. I want to turn back around and hug Xander, but I also want him to keep talking. As much for his own sake as mine.

I get the impression that he’s never told anyone this before and it’s definitely something that anyone would need to get off their chest. I want to listen because I want him to heal. Somehow this is all wrapped up in the media scandal and now that I know him better I’m furious that Luna is doing this to him.

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg. What’s a little kid supposed to think when you go on vacation and both your mommies and daddies come. And by come I mean they used to fuck their brains out, all four of them. You know, because whatever DVD they put on for me to watch was going to make me not realize what they were doing.” Xander’s voice is strained and I reach around to squeeze his thigh.

I wish I could do more, but I have no idea what to do to help him, other than listen.

“So, seeing all this news about you isn’t shocking them at all? Because I guarantee that right now my own parents are freaking big time about that photograph of me in red lingerie.”

God, I really should call them and explain. Later. I’m sure Isabel and Nathan are wondering what’s going on as well. And somehow I need to get some underwear and a non-work outfit to wear. I wonder how long we’re going to be here.

“I’ll explain everything to them and tell them that nothing happened between us,” Xander says as he traces an invisible pattern on my skin.

I tilt my head back and chuckle. “Nothing happened at all, that’s why we’re lying here naked.”

“This happened after. It doesn’t count.”

“Good point. You may continue with stories of your fucked-up life.”

Xander tickles my waist and I laugh and squirm. He says, “I can, can I?”

“You may and remember, it wasn’t a question.” He tickles me again and I reach around and try to tickle him back.

“Oh, you don’t want to go there,” Xander says, tickling me harder.

I bend my knees and try to force myself off the sofa, but he holds me tight and smacks my ass.

“Stop it!” I laugh. My body is far too exhausted to put up a fight and I am at his complete mercy.

Xander flips me over to face him. Our eyes meet as he brings his lips to mine and kisses me softly. My chest fills with butterflies, not in a sexual way but because it’s the most intimate kiss I’ve ever experienced.

There’s a vulnerability in his action and the meaning of it tumbles over in my mind. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. He makes me want to jump into his arms and stay there forever and ever.

I know I said I wasn’t interested in having a boyfriend until after I get all my test results back, but Xander makes me lose all those ideas. The feelings he unleashes within me are too strong, and I can’t ignore them.

Except I have to keep telling myself those words he said in the car, I don’t do girlfriends. But this most definitely feels like a boyfriend-girlfriend talk.

“What did you mean when you said this wasn’t Xander Whitman fucking someone, that this is the real you?”

His eyes search mine and he strokes my hair down the back of my head. “Exactly what it sounded like it meant,” Xander pauses and smiles. “With you I can be myself.”

My brow furrows and I blink back a tear. What must to be like to go through your whole life without feeling you can ever be yourself? My mouth scrunches up in sadness and Xander clears his throat.

“Don’t feel too sorry for me, after all I am the world’s sexiest man,” Xander says, joking to ease my sadness.

“You really are, that’s one thing the media got right,” I say and flick my eyes down his sculpted arm.

He rolls his eyes and I playfully slap his bicep.

“Are you trying to get tickled again?” he smirks.

“Nope. I’m just pointing out that not everything in your life is fake.”

“It’s not now that I have you in my life. That’s what I love about you so much, what you see is what you get,” Xander says, stroking his thumb down my cheek.

I’m silenced by his words and try to contemplate their meaning. I’m in his life. Love. He loves something about me. I love a lot about him. All of him, to be exact.

“I’ve never been good at putting on a façade, although it’s caused me some problems in the past,” I say, my words a whisper.

“Who cares about the past? Let’s leave it all behind and go from here, with each other.” Xander’s tone is confident and sure and my heart races.

“What happened to I don’t do girlfriends?” My voice is barely audible.

“I guess I never met the right person before. But you are a whole new story, and I want you in my life. Call it whatever label you want, but I’m not about to let you go now that I finally found you.” As Xander speak, his eyes stare into mine, piercing straight into my soul.

“Good, because I really don’t want you to let me go. I want to lay here in your arms forever.” My voice trembles, betraying the worry about saying my innermost thoughts out loud.

Xander raises himself onto his arms and bends to kiss me. He brushes his lips over my forehead and cheek before closing his mouth over mine. Once again my chest fills with butterflies at the intimacy of his action.

This kiss isn’t lust fueled, it is simply two people committing themselves to each other.

He breaks the kiss and draws me against him, resting his head on mine. I’d quite happily be like this until the end of time. I don’t even care about Cynthia anymore. In fact, I’m glad about the photo because otherwise I wouldn’t be here with him like this right now.

My mind wanders over the last day and why he was running in the first place. The paparazzi were hounding him and his useless so-called friends in New York didn’t help him. Maybe that’s what’s behind his realization that his life needed to change.

Like he needed to get away from all the reality TV crap and be himself. I still don’t understand why he was pretending to be Luna’s fake boyfriend in the first place.

“What about your fake girlfriend? Won’t Luna be mad about me?”

“She’ll get over it.”

“And the TV show?” I ask, still not fully sure what the situation behind it is.

“Luna won’t be too happy but for my own sanity I need to walk away from it. Besides, I’m going to be too busy fucking you to film that shit.” Xander squeezes me tight, emphasizing his plans for the future.

I’ve spent so long avoiding picturing the future but suddenly I want to sit with him and talk about all the things we can do together.

“How did you meet Luna anyway?” I figure I can ask questions now that he’s said those things to me.

He sighs and says, “I’ve known her since we were babies. She’s the child of the couple my parents swap with.”

“So, she’s your step-sister?” I ask, unable to hide the shock in my voice.

“Essentially, although not officially. Neither of our parents divorced or remarried, but, yes, we essentially have the same set of four parents.”