10
Nolan couldn’t help being aware of Finn’s gaze on him as he shrugged off his t-shirt and changed into the one Finn had offered him. It felt like a physical thing that seeped through his bare skin and settled heavily in his gut, hot and tight.
Finn’s t-shirt still smelled of him despite being clean, and now Nolan was surrounded by his scent, too. What he wanted most of all right now was to roll around in it, taking comfort in the warmth and safety he was starting to associate with Finn.
“Looks good on you,” Finn said, despite the fact that the shirt was two sizes too big and hanging off Nolan’s narrower shoulders.
“Thanks,” Nolan said, trying to will himself not to blush. By the way his cheeks heated up, he could tell he was failing horribly. “I think this one’s done for,” he added, holding up the same black t-shirt he’d worn every time he’d come to the sanctuary.
“Well, if you’re not gonna wear it, I bet Ollie’d love it. It’s covered in familiar mud and the scent of his personal hero,” Finn said.
Nolan loved hearing that. He felt like he’d made a difference today. Sure, it was just one otter, but to that otter it’d been life-or-death.
Finn seemed impressed with him, too, which he loved even more. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t have done to impress Finn.
“He can have it,” Nolan said, balling it up and opening the cage to shove it inside. Ollie had climbed out of the sack, dragging his leg behind him, and Finn had made unhappy noises about it but ultimately decided that it wasn’t broken, just hurt.
He’d also decided that Ollie was actually a boy.
“I normally sleep in it anyway,” Nolan admitted. “After I shrunk it in the wash.”
“I did wonder why it was so small on you,” Finn said. “Figured maybe you were into that.”
“My sister told me I should dress up a little for our first date… thing,” Nolan said. “I planned on showing up in a Pikachu t-shirt.”
“I was always more of a Charizard guy.”
Nolan laughed, relieved that Finn didn’t think that was weird after all.
Maybe being who he was wouldn’t have been the worst thing, after all.
“You gotta stop listening to what assorted family members think,” Finn said.
“She meant well,” Nolan defended. “And people like her. I figured she knew what she was talking about.”
“Yeah, well… I like you just as you are,” Finn said.
The thought of that made the tips of Nolan’s ears burn. “Yeah?” he asked, barely more than a breath.
“Yeah,” Finn said. “You’re a dork, I’m a dork…”
“I could take that as an insult,” Nolan responded, shoving his hands as deep into his pockets as he could.
He’d managed to rip a hole in his too-tight jeans on the way back up the slope, so he had a good excuse to stop wearing them, too.
“It’s meant as a compliment. We’re kindred spirits,” Finn said.
Nolan swallowed. Wow. Finn did like him.
That felt like a big deal.
“Thanks,” Nolan murmured, not sure what else to say.
I like you too was a little too scary, no matter how true it was. That wasn’t what Finn meant, anyway. He meant he liked Nolan’s company, not that he was romantically interested in him. They weren’t in middle school.
Although, passing a note that said do you like me? Y/N seemed like a much better way of handling a crush right about now. At least that way, Nolan could pretend someone else had forged his handwriting.
He wasn’t sure Tommy Myers had ever believed that, but he’d forgotten about it after a week.
Nolan had never exactly had the best luck with men. He wasn’t expecting his luck to change now.
He followed Finn around to the front of the car once he’d closed the trunk, settling himself in the passenger seat. All the fresh air and hard work had worn him out, and he was looking forward to just staring at the scenery and letting Finn talk at him on the way back to the sanctuary.
Nolan listened to Finn shoving the keys into the ignition, the engine of the car roaring to life…
And then spluttering out.
He glanced over, watching a frown crease Finn’s brow as he tried it again, this time to a sad clicking sound and no roar at all.
Despite being a long way from an expert on cars, Nolan knew that was a bad sign.
“Dammit,” Finn muttered.
He popped the hood and got out of the car, disappearing from view.
After a moment of considering his options, Nolan got out and followed him, moving to stand beside him as he peered into the engine.
“Do you know how to fix it?” he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.
“I don’t even know what’s wrong with it. I dunno why I’m standing out here staring at it as though I’m gonna suddenly gain some kind of magic mechanical knowledge,” Finn said, defeated.
A roll of thunder just barely sounded before the sky opened up above them, rain pouring down in heavy drops.
Nolan looked at Finn, who was staring up at the sky as if he was tempted to yell at it for adding to his problems.
“This is why I pay for roadside assistance, I guess,” Finn said, closing the hood back down. “Let’s get out of the rain.”
Not needing to be told twice, Nolan darted back into the cover of the car, glad to be out of the brewing thunderstorm outside. He hadn’t heard any weather warnings today, so he wasn’t expecting it to be too bad, but this was South Florida.
Storms got serious fast here.
Nolan let the sound of Finn calling the roadside assistance company wash over him as the rain fell outside, the constant drip-drip-drip soothing him in spite of everything.
“Minimum two hours,” Finn said as he got off the phone, spitting it like a curse.
“We are in the middle of nowhere,” Nolan said, determined not to be upset about it. This wasn’t Finn’s fault, and he didn’t want him to feel bad.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said. “I guess maybe it is time I gave up this car for something a little more reliable.”
Nolan shook his head. “Not unless you want to. Besides, she seems like she’s gotten you through a lot.”
“You have no idea,” Finn smiled wryly, reaching out to pat the dashboard even as he said it. Nolan could tell he loved this car, and that had to be for a reason.
He was curious about that was. He was curious about Finn, and his past, and his hopes and dreams. Getting to know him better sounded like the best thing Nolan could do with his time. Anything Finn would give him, any part of himself he was willing to share was worth having.
“I’ve got a minimum of two hours to find out,” Nolan offered. “Y’know. If you wanted to share.”
“I want to take a nap,” Finn said, glancing into the back seat. “I have stuff to put together a makeshift bed with the back seats folded down. If you’re okay with close quarters.”
“I was planning on napping here, but if you’ve got an option that won’t completely wreck my neck…”
Finn chuckled. “No promises there, but you’ll be mostly horizontal, at least. And I do still owe you a hug.”
“I think this has all been an elaborate plan to cuddle with me again,” Nolan joked, trying not to get too excited over the implication that Finn actually wanted to hug him.
“Dude, you’re giving me way too much credit. I couldn’t have come up with a plan this elaborate,” Finn said, lowering the backrest of his seat and then, with a surprising amount of grace and agility, climbing past it into the back of the car. “I do kinda consider it a bonus, though.”
Nolan blinked.
And then blinked again.
What?
“What?” he asked, then worried that he’d made it sound like he wasn’t a hundred and ten percent on-board with cuddling. “Uh… not that I, umm. I mean… I’m not exactly… upset…”
“Good, because I’ve been trying to figure out whether or not it’s okay to be interested in you since our first date and I was starting to lose hope.”
Nolan had no idea how to respond to that.
Although. Looking back, there were a few… dozen… things he might have noticed earlier if he hadn’t been so busy trying to convince himself that Finn couldn’t possibly be interested.
“Umm,” Nolan said, looking directly ahead while he tried to gather his thoughts. Or at least ride out the wave of nervousness and excitement currently sloshing around in the pit of his stomach.
“Unless I’m making a mistake?” Finn asked, his voice softer now, unsure.
Nolan swallowed. Finn had been brave enough to say something. He could be brave enough to admit to his feelings, too.
“You’re really hot and I don’t understand why you’d be interested in me,” Nolan blurted out, which was a little more admitting to his feelings than he’d intended.
Why couldn’t he just be cool for once in his life? Why was that so hard?
Finn snorted. “And you’re smart and successful and adorable,” he said. “You have a pretty smile and a cute butt and a wicked sense of humor, and a smart guy would latch onto you in a heartbeat because you’d be the world’s easiest to get on with sugar daddy.”
Nolan wrinkled his nose, wincing at the idea of being anyone’s sugar daddy. “Please never say that again.”
“Which part?” Finn asked innocently.
When Nolan twisted around to look at him, he was grinning broadly. So he knew which part.
He’d also finished setting up what Nolan could only describe as a nest of blankets.
With the rain still pitter-pattering outside and cooling the air, it looked really appealing. Not to mention the fact that Finn was already getting comfortable in it.
Finn’s presence was pretty appealing all on its own. Finn and blankets was practically irresistible.
Nolan kicked his shoes off into the footwell and climbed into the back of the car with all the grace of a newborn giraffe and none of the excuse. At least Finn didn’t laugh at him.
“Are you really gonna make me repeat it?” Nolan asked, even as he wriggled his way under the blankets and into Finn’s waiting arms.
“I’d like to be a hundred percent sure what you don’t want me calling you again,” Finn said, still grinning.
“Sugar daddy,” Nolan said, every syllable making him want to shudder as he pronounced it.
Finn chuckled. But he also threw an arm around Nolan’s waist, splaying his hand possessively—no, protectively—over the small of his back.
So it wasn’t all bad.
Nolan couldn’t stop himself from laughing, too. His heart pounded in his chest at the thought that he was cuddling with Finn and there was no one around to see it, this time.
That Finn wanted to do this.
He’d probably wanted to do it last time, too. Nolan had just been too slow to realize.
They could make up for lost time now.
“I don’t mind it when you tease me,” Nolan said after a few moments of turning the thought over in his head.
He’d thought up until now that being teased was what he hated, but that wasn’t it at all. He could take a joke.
When it was actually a joke, and when the other person knew when to stop. When it wasn’t meant to hurt him.
Finn had never once tried to hurt him. Finn was kind, and warm, and safe.
“I can stop anytime,” Finn said seriously, which confirmed everything Nolan had been thinking about him.
“Honestly, I kinda like it. I like that you just treat me like a friend.”
“You are my friend,” Finn said. “I meant that the first time. I wanna be your friend regardless of whatever else… does or doesn’t happen.”
“You’ll still be my friend if I don’t fuck you?” Nolan asked, raising his head to meet Finn’s gaze.
He knew the answer already. Finn wouldn’t push him, and that was what made Finn perfect. He’d made it clear from the first day they’d spent together that Nolan moving at his own pace was fine. Good, even.
Most other people laughed. Finn was special.
“Obviously,” Finn said. “I don’t believe in the friend zone or anything. I take more of a Spice Girls philosophy.”
Nolan laughed, remembering the song about friends and lovers from elementary school dances.
“I was joking, but it’s adorable that you’re a Spice Girls fan.”
Finn shrugged. “Fan might be overstating my attachment to them, but I think they had some good ideas.”
“Nope, you’re forever a Spice Girls fan to me now,” Nolan said, beaming up at him.
“I’ll live with it,” Finn responded. “Especially if it keeps making you smile like that.”
Nolan’s breath hitched at the thought that Finn liked the way he smiled. No one had ever treated him like this before.
Like he was special. Like they really wanted him around, instead of just putting up with him.
“You make me smile like this,” Nolan said, and maybe it was too sentimental, too much for this thing between them that was still new and fragile, but he meant it. There was no point in pretending otherwise.
“Then we should keep hanging out,” Finn murmured, his broad, warm hand stroking up and down Nolan’s back.
Was this what being seduced was like?
If it was, Nolan was glad now that he’d waited to experience it with Finn first. He’d never met anyone like him before.
“I’d like that,” Nolan said.
“Me too,” Finn murmured. “This is the car I drove away from home in,” he added.
Nolan nodded cautiously, wanting Finn to continue. If he was ready to share, Nolan would listen.
Not only was it the least he owed Finn, but he was interested. He cared. He wanted to know as much about Finn as Finn was willing to tell him.
“My parents never stopped fighting,” Finn said. “I bought this car when I was seventeen after working summer, Halloween and Christmas jobs to save up for it all year. I spent a lot of time in it until I left for college, just to get away from the shouting.”
Nolan made a soft, sympathetic noise, snuggling closer to Finn to support him. He didn’t want to interrupt, but he did want Finn to know that he was listening and he cared.
“Anyway, I went off to college for three years and still… spent most of the summer in this car the first year. But then in second year I met this guy. He was smart and funny and charming and I fell in love with him five minutes after we met.”
Finn paused to swallow, which told Nolan that the story was about to get worse before it got better.
“I finished college and moved in with him, down here, because it was so much better than going back to my parents. I started volunteering at the sanctuary. Life was… good. I was happy. And then the fighting started.”
The catch in Finn’s voice told Nolan everything he needed to know about what happened next. He still kept quiet, listening to the rain outside and the beat of Finn’s heart, just a little faster than it had been a few moments ago.
“I hate that it was about money. I hate that we couldn’t just be happy getting by, that he cared so much about me wasting my time at the sanctuary when private practice was so lucrative. He was a dental student and he was making something like four times what I made his first year out of college. He called me… all kinds of things. Useless, mostly.”
“Jesus,” Nolan said, unable to stop himself reacting in time. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I just… how could anyone who was supposed to love you say that?”
Finn held him a little tighter, burying his nose in Nolan’s hair.
“That was what I figured after about the twentieth time. It helped that I had Oscar by then. He… had some choice words to say about it.”
“Good,” Nolan murmured.
“But losing Mike meant losing my home here, and I couldn’t really afford another place by myself. So I packed up and went back to Iowa with my tail between my legs. And you know what?”
Nolan looked up to meet Finn’s gaze.
“My parents were fighting when I walked through the door,” Finn said wryly. “And by then I was so sick of fighting that it made my stomach hurt, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go. So I shut myself in my room and started looking for jobs. Until May called me two days later and asked me where the hell I was.”
“You didn’t tell them you were leaving?” Nolan asked.
“I told Oscar and asked him to pass it on. He didn’t. Because he knew that May would call me and I’d have to explain myself to her.”
“What did she do?” Nolan asked.
“Told me to haul my ass back here and live at the sanctuary until I was back on my feet again,” Finn said, smiling a fond, distant smile at the memory. “That’s a direct quote. The haul my ass back here part, anyway.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. She seems… formidable.”
“She is. Best aunt ever,” Finn said, grinning this time. “So anyway. I got in this car and drove the whole way back without stopping for anything more than gas, food, and naps. The end.”
Nolan was silent for a few moments, processing everything Finn had just told him.
“You have my word that I’ll never shout at you,” he said. There was a whole lot more he wanted to say, but that was enough for now.
He could hardly remember feeling closer to anyone than he did to Finn right now. This wasn’t exactly a secret, but it wasn’t something Finn had needed to share, either. He’d done it because he trusted Nolan the way Nolan trusted him.
Nolan didn’t plan on breaking that trust.
“Thanks,” Finn murmured. “And thanks for… listening, I guess. I’ve never really told that story to anyone who wasn’t there for it.”
“I’m honored,” Nolan said. “And anytime.”
Finn opened his mouth to speak, but a knock on the window made both of them jump.
“You boys waiting for a mechanic?” a woman’s voice called out, muffled by the glass and the rain.
Finn let go of Nolan and wriggled his way free of the nest of blankets, practically falling out of the back passenger-side door as he rushed to get out of the car.
“That definitely wasn’t two hours,” he said.
“I was in the area,” the woman responded. “Didn’t wanna leave you out in this storm.”
Nolan stretched out on the blankets for a moment, letting the muffled conversation wash over him and trying not to be too disappointed.
He rolled over to look at Ollie, who was still sleeping peacefully in his cage.
“I’m starting to think Finn likes me,” he said to the unconscious otter, unable to stop himself grinning. Sure, they’d been interrupted, but before that, they’d been in the middle of the most intimate moment of Nolan’s life so far.
He wasn’t about to stop glowing for a while.
Finn liked him. Like-liked him.
This was the best day he’d ever had, breakdown and all.