17
Finn laughed as Nolan pinned him to the wall, more than happy to give into kissing him as much as he wanted. There was something exciting about doing this in the sanctuary, especially when the two of them were supposed to be working.
It wasn’t quite breaking the rules, but it was as close to it as Finn felt the need to get. Besides, Nolan seemed to be so much more comfortable here than anywhere else.
Seeing him happy made Finn’s heart sing.
“I think you just came here to make out with me,” Finn murmured between kisses, letting his nose brush against Nolan’s. The intimacy growing between them made his chest tight with joy. The more Finn could get of that, the happier he’d be.
“I came here to make sure Ollie was okay and because Gavin didn’t want me to,” Nolan said. Finn smiled at that, proud of him for standing up to Gavin even in this small way.
“Making out with you is a fun bonus, though,” he added after a moment, seizing Finn’s lips again.
Finn smiled into the kiss, settling his hands on Nolan’s waist and squeezing gently. This definitely counted as a fun bonus in his book.
“Coming home with me tonight?” Finn asked, his lips brushing against Nolan’s as he spoke.
“I thought you might come home with me again. If uh… if that’s something you want.”
“Sounds good,” Finn agreed, grinning down at him. It was good to have this again after so long without it. To have someone he could kiss, and hold, and go home with.
“And I was thinking,” Nolan said, meeting Finn’s eyes and holding his gaze. “I was thinking… I uh… want you to umm… be my first?”
As close as they were, Finn could feel the heat rising off Nolan’s cheeks as he blushed.
“Hasn’t that ship kinda sailed?” Finn asked, positive they’d already done that. He’d been honored, and he was certain it had actually happened.
“I know we… this is awkward, but I don’t feel like…” Nolan sighed, frustrated. “Why is it so hard to ask you to fuck me?”
Finn swallowed, a spark of arousal flaring up in the pit of his stomach. He got what Nolan was asking for now.
“You sure you’re ready for that?” he asked automatically, not wanting Nolan to feel pressured or like this was something they had to do. There were lots of fun things between enthusiastic handjobs and full penetrative sex.
Nolan nodded, confident for once. “Obviously if you don’t want to, that’s okay, but… I want to be able to stop thinking of myself as a virgin. And I want it to be with you. I trust you.”
“Okay,” Finn said, not about to refuse Nolan if this was what he really wanted. “Yeah, sure, okay.”
This was why Nolan wanted to go back to his own place, Finn thought. He’d feel more comfortable in a familiar setting.
Which was fine by Finn. This was Nolan’s first time. He wanted it to be good for him.
Nolan breathed a sigh of relief, smiling up at him brightly. “Thank you,” he said. “For being cool about this.”
“I’ll try to be cool about everything,” Finn promised. “Just because you’re cute.”
“Do you really think that?” Nolan asked, eyebrow raised, like he couldn’t possibly believe it.
Which was weird, because he was all puppy eyes and cute little button nose and soft-looking chocolate-brown hair. Every time he looked at him, Finn just wanted to take him home and hug him.
Plus, he was like Finn. He loved animals and he wanted to do something meaningful with his life, and he didn’t mind that Finn was choosing to follow his heart instead of anything that could reasonably be called a career path.
“I really think that,” Finn promised. “Thought it from the moment I met you. Cross my heart.”
“I don’t understand, but I do believe you,” Nolan said. “Only because I don’t think you’d lie to me.”
Finn sighed, reaching out stroke around the shell of Nolan’s ear. “I know a lot of people have told you you’re not enough,” he murmured. “I’m telling you that you are.”
Nolan sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just… Gavin, I guess.”
“What’d he say?”
“Generally or just today?” Nolan asked.
“I was asking about today,” Finn said. “But I’ll listen to generally, if you wanna talk about it.”
He leaned back against the wall, pulling Nolan with him and settling in for a long conversation. He’d shared last week, now it was Nolan’s turn.
“He never stops.” Nolan sighed, letting his weight rest against Finn.
“You know, in high school there was a boy I liked, and I told him about it, and he turned around and immediately told the very straight, very big guy that I had a thing for him. Brian… didn’t take it well.”
A sympathetic noise escaped Finn, his hand coming up to stroke Nolan’s hair automatically.
“Nothing actually happened, but I was scared for weeks,” Nolan said, leaning into Finn’s touch. “And I kept saying that he was full of it, and people eventually forgot. I even found a girl to go to prom with so I could live out the rest of my high school days in peace. Until Gavin asked her out instead and pretended like he meant it. She fell for it, too, but by the time she realized Gavin was just doing it to take something away from me, we’d had a huge fight about it.”
Nolan paused, chewing on his lower lip. “I never got an apology. From either of them.”
Finn blinked at Nolan. “And you voluntarily work for the guy?” he asked, shocked that Nolan would have anything to do with him.
“Voluntarily is a strong way of putting it,” Nolan said. “It’s… complicated. He’s like a brother to me. He’s family.”
“Family doesn’t act like that,” Finn said, aware they were wandering into dangerous territory here. Who was he to tell Nolan who he could and couldn’t call family?
“We’ve had good times. And his parents treated me like their own when mine were… difficult. I’ve been to their house for Thanksgiving every year since I came out. And Gavin needs my help.”
Finn sighed. Gavin needing Nolan’s help was Gavin’s problem, not Nolan’s. If he wanted Nolan to help him, he should have treated him better.
But on the other hand, there was clearly a lot of history Finn didn’t really know about. It sounded like Nolan had never had an easy time making friends, for a start.
Which was probably somehow Gavin’s fault, too. Gavin was clearly the one with tons of social energy and something that might have passed for charisma to people who were easily fooled.
Finn had never been the kind of guy who was taken in by a big, false smile and a firm handshake. He liked people like Nolan. Good, honest, down to Earth people who weren’t in the habit of pretending they were any better than they were.
“I can’t tell you who is and isn’t your family,” Finn said aloud. “But I can tell you that the way Gavin treats you isn’t fair. And I know that maybe you’re not ready to hear that, and that’s okay. When you are ready, I’ll be here.”
Nolan smiled wryly. “Did it hurt?” he asked.
Finn frowned, not following. “Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from heaven,” Nolan finished, his eyes lighting up just a little.
Finn snorted. “Yeah, right. I’m not an angel. I’m being the normal amount of kind to you.”
“You’re not, though,” Nolan said. “Not by my standards, anyway.”
“Then we gotta work on your standards.” Finn ran his fingers through Nolan’s hair one final time, and then curled his hand around the back of his neck.
A smile spread across his face automatically as he leaned in for a kiss, his heart swelling. He’d take care of Nolan. He wanted to take care of Nolan, in a way he’d never wanted to take care of anyone before.
Nolan was special, and Finn didn’t plan on forgetting that anytime soon.
“I’m gonna go home with you,” Finn said against Nolan’s lips. “And I’m gonna take you to bed and take care of you. And you’re gonna forget all about all the stress of the week. Sound good?”
“Sounds good,” Nolan said, just a little short of breath, standing on his toes to press a demanding kiss against Finn’s mouth.
Finn let it happen, parting his lips to give Nolan access, letting him explore and taste and get himself worked up for later.
Arousal curled low in his gut, heat and tension welling up together. Finn had always been a sucker for being kissed, and Nolan kissed like it was the most important thing in the world.
“Crap, again?” Ezra said from behind them, making Nolan jump away.
The bright crimson blush was kind of a good look on him, Finn thought.
All the same, getting busted a second time by Ezra was a little on the embarrassing side.
“Sorry,” Finn said, rubbing the back of his neck. “We uh. We were just…”
“I know what you were doing.” Ezra sighed. “I don’t suppose you want a third?”
Nolan’s eyes widened, and he looked at Finn in horror.
“He’s kidding,” Finn said, almost certain that was true. “Right?”
“Like ninety-nine percent kidding,” Ezra reassured. “I like to leave a little uncertainty.”
Nolan looked relieved, though he did give Ezra a quick once-over that wasn’t as subtle as he clearly thought it was.
Which was fine. He was allowed to look, and Ezra was definitely an attractive man, with an easy smile and dark blue eyes that glittered when he looked at you.
Not quite Finn’s type, and they’d never really had a romantic spark between them—aside from one drunken kiss on New Year’s Eve a few years back that had left them both laughing, but not really inclined to continue.
Ezra had turned around and kissed Oscar right after, so Finn knew it wasn’t serious.
Pinning Ezra down would take a helluva person.
He’d probably be worth it, though. For the right person, he’d be incredible.
Finn really hoped the right person was planning on coming along sometime soon.
“Well, I think this is awkward enough,” Finn said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna head home.”
“Uh huh.” Ezra smirked, looking between the two of them. “Who’s home?”
“Mine,” Nolan said. It obviously came as a surprise to Ezra as much as it did to Finn.
A little bubble of pride welled up in his chest, though. Nolan’s confidence was growing, and he was clearly getting comfortable with Ezra.
“Good for you,” Ezra said. “Finn’s hot and you should make the most of him.”
Now it was Finn’s turn to blush, but he didn’t really mind. Nolan was still smiling, anyway.
That was all that really mattered to him right now.
Which should probably have been setting off more warning bells than it was, but some part of him knew that he was safe with Nolan. That Nolan was a good choice.
“Come on,” he said, nodding to the door. “Day’s wasting.”
Nolan broke into a broad grin, then reached out and grabbed Finn’s hand. “Walk me to my car,” he said, squeezing Finn’s fingers.
How the hell could he say no to an offer like that?