14
Curled up on the couch next to Finn, sharing a bowl of microwave popcorn and a terrible straight-to-TV sci-fi movie, Nolan couldn’t remember ever being happier in his life.
“Does this count as a date?” Finn asked, moving his arm so it was laying along the back of the couch.
Butterflies started fluttering in Nolan’s stomach as he realized that Finn was preparing to put an arm around him. He stayed as still as physically possible, vibrating with excitement at the thought.
He still couldn’t believe his luck. How did a guy like Finn have any interest in him?
They hadn’t even really had sex yet. Mutual handjobs didn’t really count, although Nolan wouldn’t have said no to doing that again.
Although, not right now. Things were changing quickly between them, and he was glad that Finn wanted to take a break instead of going straight back to bed.
He could have lived with having more Saturdays exactly like this.
“Do you want it to count as a date?” Nolan responded after a few seconds too long, too busy focusing on how close Finn was and how good that felt.
Finn shifted his weight, and as predicted, dropped his arm so it was wrapped around Nolan’s shoulders.
Nolan’s heart clenched in his chest, and he had to bite his lip to stop an embarrassing squeal of excitement escaping him.
Although, he got the impression Finn wouldn’t really mind. Finn seemed to be okay with him being a dork. Hell, he seemed to like it.
Things had changed when Nolan stopped trying to be cool around him. That could have been a coincidence, but it didn’t feel like one. Hard as it was to believe, Nolan was starting to think that Finn actually liked him for who he was.
“Would it be a first date?” Finn asked. “Because, uh. Traditionally the first date is where I explain that I don’t actually have any money or prospects and that I’m not giving up my job, and also that I’ll eventually walk out on a date to save an animal instead. Y’know. Get it out of the way.”
“Noted,” Nolan said. “But I’m coming with you if you need to rescue something.”
He got the impression this was important to Finn in some way, but he wasn’t exactly sure how he should respond. Was he just supposed to say that all that was okay with him?
Because it was. More than okay, it was kind of half Finn’s appeal. He was a good, kind man who was smart enough to get through the animal equivalent of medical school and had chosen to use that knowledge to save wild animals for very little money. Not that Nolan had any idea what he got paid, but he’d seen the sanctuary. No one was making their fortune there. That wasn’t the point.
Finn was doing what Nolan wasn’t brave enough to do. He’d always wanted to use his skills to help people.
“There’s a program a little way outside of town,” Nolan said, figuring it couldn’t hurt to tell Finn this. “Where they bring disadvantaged kids in for all kinds of classes. They can’t find a coding instructor, and they haven’t been able to for a while. It pays… like a non-profit usually pays. Maybe a little worse, I think. Anyone who’s good enough to teach could make triple in their first year, and I make almost five times what they can pay. But if I could, I’d do it in a heartbeat. You get to make a difference, and I wish I could.”
“If you don’t mind me asking…”
“Why can’t I?” Nolan finished the question for Finn. “Gavin, I guess. I can’t leave him to fend for himself. He built his company from the ground up and I’d never deny that, but I don’t think it’d last long without me and Rita.”
“Rita?” Finn asked.
“My sister. The one who insisted I wore a really tight t-shirt to our first… date-like encounter.”
“Date-like encounter?” Finn repeated, laughter in his voice.
“Shut up,” Nolan said, blushing. He hadn’t been able to think of a better description by the time he got to the end of the sentence.
“You’ve got a way with words,” Finn said mock-seriously, and Nolan still didn’t mind him teasing. It felt affectionate coming from Finn.
“I took a class on poetry once,” Nolan responded.
“Poetry?” Finn asked. “Really?”
Nolan shrugged. “There was a cute boy. I learned a lot, actually. Not so much from the class, but about never dating poets. Also that I kinda like e. e. cummings.”
“The sky was candy luminous,” Finn said, and that was enough to make Nolan turn his head to look at him.
“I was thinking more along the lines of i like my body when it is with your body,” he said. “But I’m impressed.”
“Oh, sexy poetry. Got it.” Finn grinned at him. “You should talk to Ezra. His mom has a PhD in American poetry. Hence the name.”
“Ezra seems nice, but I don’t really want him to quote sexy poetry at me,” Nolan said. “I got enough of that from the cute poet I hope I never see again.”
“That bad, huh?”
“He made me go to an open mic night,” Nolan said.
Finn winced. “Ooh. Not a good date idea.”
“Right? I mean, lots of people seemed to be enjoying it, but…”
“They were totally faking,” Finn said seriously. “No one likes amateur poetry.”
Nolan chuckled. He was pretty sure lots of people did, but he was glad that was something he and Finn had in common.
“Well, whether or not this is a date, it’s a better date than that was,” Nolan said.
“I can live with not the worst date I’ve ever been on as a benchmark.” Finn grinned at him.
Nolan hummed, snuggling closer to him with a happy sigh.
This was nice. He was glad Finn had stuck around, and he was just starting to realize that it was deliberate. Finn hadn’t wanted him to feel abandoned.
Lack of experience aside, Nolan was pretty sure not a lot of people would have thought of that. This particular man was special.
“You wanna know what I think?” Finn spoke up after a few long moments of silence, grabbing a handful of popcorn.
“Always,” Nolan said.
“I think you should go help the kids. Screw Gavin.”
Nolan snorted. Of course that was what Finn thought.
He was brave, and Nolan was a coward.
“It’s not that simple,” he responded, because that was what he always told himself. It wasn’t as easy as just packing up and leaving.
Gavin would be mad. His parents would be even more disappointed. Even Rita wouldn’t really understand.
He’d be alone.
Well, maybe he’d have Finn. But it was early days, and this thing between them was too fragile to rely on. Too new.
Besides, even if he did have Finn to lean on, he wouldn’t do it. Finn had enough going on, and Nolan had always taken care of himself.
In the sense that he’d avoided confrontation wherever possible, kept his head down, and tried to get on with his life without ever needing to ask anyone for anything.
Which amounted to the same result, more or less.
“Nothing ever is,” Finn murmured, stroking Nolan’s arm with his thumb. “But you’re stronger than you think you are.”
“Thanks,” Nolan said, not sure how else to respond to that. Where had Finn seen this huge reserve of hidden inner strength?
“You’ll see, one day,” Finn said. “Promise me you’ll text me when it happens? Regardless of where we are with each other then.”
“Promise,” Nolan said, not expecting to ever have to fulfil it.
It was nice that Finn thought highly of him, it just made him worry that he was going to be a huge disappointment later.
Sighing, Nolan pushed that thought aside and rested a little more of his weight against Finn, letting the warmth and solidness of his body soothe him. He wasn’t about to let his own brain get in the way of a nice day.
“Pass the popcorn?” he asked, reaching out.
If Finn liked him, he planned on enjoying that as much as possible.