7
“Thank you for doing this for me,” Nolan said, passing Finn the one hard cider he’d said he’d drink on Gavin’s dime last week.
Finn grinned at him, taking it and cracking it open immediately. “You’re welcome.”
As Halloween parties went, this wasn’t the worst he’d ever been to. It was quiet, mostly, with people sitting around in half-assed costumes and talking about work.
Not that he could talk when it came to half-assing his costume.
He’d found a set of vampire teeth in the dollar store—which he’d already given up on wearing because he kept biting his tongue—and let Oscar break out the shimmery highlighter he’d gotten for Pride a few years ago.
He was a vampire. The kind that sparkled.
It was the easiest costume he could think of, and he was glad now that he hadn’t tried any harder.
Nolan had managed to out-lazy him by not even changing after work and explaining that he was a werewolf, but since it wasn’t a full moon tonight he was just a regular guy.
Finn was sincerely impressed by his ingenuity. If this had been a real date, they were absolutely made for each other.
He also… kind of wished it was a real date. Which was why he was eyeing off a comfy-looking couch that had just freed up in a quiet corner. Nolan’s company was fun, and he wanted more of it.
“I’m probably having more fun here than I would be bingeing animal documentaries on Netflix at home,” he added when Nolan didn’t respond. “Let’s go sit.”
“You… you binge-watch animal documentaries… after you finish your job at a wildlife sanctuary?” Nolan asked, blinking at him as he claimed the couch for both of them.
Finn shrugged. “That, or I play video games. I don’t lead an exciting life outside of work.”
“Well, neither do I,” Nolan said, sitting down beside him. “Although I’ve just started volunteering at this place…”
Finn chuckled. “It’s good to have hobbies. Seriously though, I don’t mind being here. I can’t wait to see the look on your cousin’s face.”
“You’re about to get your chance,” Nolan said, nodding over to a group where Gavin was at the center, all of them laughing just a tiny bit uncomfortably. No one really wanted to hang out with the boss, Finn thought.
Although, May was really cool. But she also didn’t really act like a boss. Everyone who worked at the sanctuary did their own thing, and they did it because they loved it. No one really needed to be wrangled into doing their job.
As jobs went, Finn was pretty happy trading in the otherwise better pay of being a practicing vet for the fulfillment of working at the sanctuary and being surrounded by cool people. Nolan included.
Finn saw Gavin spot the two of them, his eyes sparkling like a predator’s from across the room.
Beside him, Nolan tensed up. Finn hated that Gavin had the power to make him do that. He liked Nolan, and Nolan didn’t deserve this.
A thought occurred to him, his heartbeat speeding up a little as he even considered it.
He could kiss Nolan. That’d remove any doubt that he was here because he liked the guy, and it would wipe the smirk right off Gavin’s face.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Finn reached out and touched Nolan’s cheek, turning his face toward him gently. “Hey. Is it okay if I kiss you?”
Nolan swallowed, his throat bobbing. Uncertainty washed over his features, and Finn worried that maybe he’d misread everything so far, that the little spark between them was just in his head, that Nolan wasn’t interested at all.
But then, to Finn’s surprise, he nodded.
Finn smiled at him, thrilled that they were in on pissing Gavin off together. His stomach swooped as he leaned in, anticipation making his whole body thrum with excitement.
Hell, he’d wanted to kiss Nolan on that first day. Nolan just hadn’t given any sign that he’d want that, and besides, it would have been unprofessional.
And then he’d convinced himself that the whole idea of making a move on him was terrible, and besides, if Nolan actually wanted to date him, he could have just asked.
Instead, he’d asked Finn to fake it.
That was… confusing, and not something Finn had the brain power to puzzle out right now.
Finn took it slow, giving Nolan plenty of time to back out if he wanted to. He reached out, running a single knuckle along Nolan’s jaw and then using it to tilt his face up a little way, smiling at him as their eyes met.
Blood pounded in his ears, his stomach tight. It’d been so long since he kissed someone that he wasn’t sure he’d remember how.
After a moment’s hesitation, Finn closed the gap between them, brushing his nose against Nolan’s as he tilted his head, muscle memory taking over as his eyes fell closed and he pressed their lips together, his own just barely parted.
Nolan gasped softly as their lips touched, shuffling closer to Finn and laying a hand on his thigh, fingers tightening just a little. Finn couldn’t stop himself from humming happily, the touch of Nolan’s lips warm, soft, and inviting. His stubble rasped against Finn’s freshly-shaved face, the familiar feeling reminding him instantly why he liked kissing so much.
With a surge of confidence, Finn parted his lips further, just barely nibbling on the edge of Nolan’s lip. He stopped himself from sucking it between his own, unsure how far Nolan would be willing to go in the pursuit of proving to his cousin they were dating.
A soft, happy noise told Finn that Nolan was into this, and went right to the pit of his stomach as a spark of heat. This felt good. Nolan was shy and sweet, but he could have been so much fun. Blood was already pounding in Finn’s ears at the thought of pushing him back onto the couch and kissing him until they both ran out of breath.
Damn. Finn could have gotten into this.
And hell, maybe that was because it’d been so long, but the way Nolan parted his lips just a little, the way he leaned in as his breath caught in his throat, the warmth of his body seeping into Finn’s… it was hot. Really hot.
His little crush on Nolan definitely wasn’t about to go away.
Reluctantly, he broke the kiss as he felt Gavin looming over him, smiling softly at Nolan even as he took his hand away. The last thing Finn wanted Nolan to think was that he didn’t want to keep doing that.
If Nolan was interested, he was interested. He was sure now that he was interested.
Nolan kissed so sweetly that Finn could have done it all day and never gotten tired of exploring what kinds of happy noises he could get him to make.
“Nolan!” Gavin enthused, and Finn could smell beer on him from here. When he looked away from Nolan’s flushed cheeks and darkened eyes, he came face-to-face with a big, fake grin that was already faltering at the edges. “And… Finn, right? I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
Finn turned to beam at him, shuffling over to give him space to sit if he was inclined to. He wanted to get the most out of Gavin’s reaction.
Gavin didn’t move at all, still hovering awkwardly in front of them.
“I actually owe you one,” Finn said, keeping his tone light and enthusiastic. “For introducing me to Nolan. We’ve really hit it off.”
He let his hand fall on Nolan’s knee, squeezing lightly. Partly for the sake of really selling the act, but also because Gavin made him want to protect Nolan.
“Glad to be of help, I guess,” Gavin said, glancing between Finn’s innocent smile and Nolan, who had a death grip on his soda. He was waiting for this all to go wrong, Finn assumed.
That wasn’t going to happen. Finn had been forced to be a part of Gavin’s attempt to make Nolan miserable, and he wasn’t just going to let that go.
Nolan deserved better. From Finn’s point of view, Gavin was just a bully. He hated bullies.
“Seriously, I can’t believe how much we have in common,” Finn continued. “And we never would have met without you.”
“Call me Cupid,” Gavin responded, glancing between them again. “What are you even dressed as?” he asked, obviously looking for an angle of attack.
“Vampire,” Finn said, pulling the set of teeth he’d removed earlier out of his pocket and waving them. “I bit my tongue and gave up on the fangs. Now I’m the kind of vampire with retractable ones.”
“Right.” Gavin turned his attention to Nolan. “And you’re… what, something out of Revenge of the Nerds?”
“I’m a werewolf,” Nolan said, deadpan. “But the moon isn’t full.”
Gavin blinked at him.
“Smart, right?” Finn grinned up at him, happy to play the doting boyfriend for Gavin’s benefit.
“Uh. If you say so,” Gavin said.
Finn had no idea what or who he was dressed as, but he also didn’t care enough to ask. As far as he could tell, Gavin was just wearing a tuxedo.
Maybe he was going for James Bond? But he’d ended up looking more like a waiter at a fancy event.
Gavin finally sat down, which Finn hadn’t thought he was going to do. But then, he hadn’t gotten what he wanted yet. Nolan had come out in front.
Finn planned on keeping it that way.
“So how did you end up at a sanctuary event, anyway?” Finn asked, taking Nolan’s hand and feeling a sudden burst of warmth in his chest as their fingers intertwined. He looked at Nolan, offering him a small, shy smile, which Nolan returned easily.
That was… unexpected. Not bad, though.
Kind of nice, actually. Nolan had a pretty smile that he clearly didn’t use often enough.
“You’re not our usual kind of donor,” Finn continued. “You might’ve noticed.”
“Kinda,” Gavin said. “I had a girlfriend who volunteered there once. You might remember her? Name was Briana.”
“She was a blonde, right?” Finn asked. “I do remember her, but I think we only met a few times. I was just starting as she was leaving.”
“Yeah, well, I figured it’d impress her if I made a big donation.”
“And did it?” Finn asked, sure he already knew the answer.
“For a while,” Gavin said. “And then she moved on to a bigger fish.” He shrugged. “Life, right?”
Under other circumstances, Finn might have felt sorry for the guy. He’d obviously been hurt.
But being hurt didn’t give him a good reason to hurt other people.
That was why Finn was here, really. Sure, he wanted to see the look on Gavin’s face.
But mostly, he wanted to take away his ability to hurt Nolan. Like he wanted to rescue every mistreated animal in the world.
“That’s rough,” Finn said. “But you got the joy of helping animals out of it, right?”
Ryan had told Finn that Gavin had just made the one big donation once, years ago. They were working on getting old donors interested in the sanctuary again, and inviting him to the auction was obviously part of that strategy.
He’d also apologized profusely and offered to take Gavin off the mailing list so he wouldn’t know about future events when Finn explained what had happened. Which was good, because if Ryan could see it was wrong, too, then Finn wasn’t just being oversensitive on Nolan’s behalf.
Finn had insisted that Gavin stay on the mailing list, though. He had plans to get a picture of Nolan having fun in their next newsletter.
“Oh, yeah,” Gavin said with exactly zero sincerity. “You guys do great work. I encourage everyone at this company to have something they believe in. I’m so glad Nolan’s found something.”
Every single word sounded like bullshit, but Finn smiled anyway.
“He just needed someone to believe in him first,” Finn said, sipping his cider. “He’s incredible.”
Nolan blushed and looked down at his soda.
Finn was starting to like making him blush like this. Not out of embarrassment like Gavin did, but because he was being paid a compliment.
Nolan was like a puzzle no one had bothered to solve yet, but Finn was increasingly convinced that the reward would have been worth the effort.
Not that Nolan was interested. If he was, he could have just invited Finn to this. Finn was just the rope in a tug-of-war between Gavin and Nolan.
He planned on letting Nolan win, but that was about as much as he was good for. Nolan deserved someone better, especially if he was new to dating.
There were so many bright, vibrant people in the world that he really didn’t need to settle for an overworked vet who constantly smelled of animals and didn’t even like going out anymore. Finn wanted to settle down comfortably with someone equally tired.
Nolan hadn’t had the excitement of first dates—or second dates, which were more exciting in Finn’s opinion—and waiting for people to text back. He hadn’t done all the fun parts yet.
Finn had, and they weren’t really fun anymore.
“Well, I guess I’d better leave you two love birds in peace,” Gavin said, standing again.
“Great to talk to you again,” Finn said, offering him a broad smile.
“Yeah, uh. You too,” Gavin responded, standing in such a hurry that the beer in his hand sloshed over the edge of the glass and onto his tuxedo. He cursed under his breath and made a quick exit, heading for a table with paper napkins on it to mop up the spill.
Finn managed not to laugh, but he couldn’t help grinning at Nolan, who was grinning right back.
“That was the hottest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” Nolan said. “Not the kiss, the thing with Gavin. To see him not getting his way just once… I can never repay you.”
“No repayment necessary,” Finn said.
The kiss wasn’t hot? Because it had been for Finn.
“Happy to be of help,” he added.
Maybe Nolan really wasn’t interested. Although, he was still clinging to Finn’s hand.
When Finn glanced up, Gavin was still looking at them. He was trying not to be obvious, but Finn could feel the weight of his pissed-off gaze.
“Hey,” Finn began, shuffling into the corner so he could lean against the arm of the couch, spreading himself out on the wide seat so there was space between his legs. “Come sit with me.”
Nolan looked up, eyes wide.
“I don’t… I mean, you really don’t have to…”
“Scared of cuddling with a vampire?” Finn teased.
Nolan wet his lips. “Not if you’re not scared of cuddling with a werewolf.”
“No full moon,” Finn nodded to the clear night sky above. “I feel pretty safe. And I really wanna sell this.”
Nolan laughed, but then moved into the space between Finn’s legs, letting himself lean against his chest. “I can’t believe you’re using me to get back at my own cousin.”
“I can’t believe you’re using me to get back at your own cousin,” Finn retorted, shifting again to get comfortable.
It took a little awkward maneuvering, but eventually they managed to get into a position where they were both comfortable. Finn had one arm wrapped around Nolan’s waist, the other one free so he could still get at his drink on the small table beside them.
It was still mostly full, so he didn’t have even the slightest excuse for this. He just… wanted to cuddle.
And he wasn’t getting any other offers, and Nolan hadn’t exactly put up a fight over it, either.
Finn was just starting to think that maybe it wasn’t so much that Nolan wasn’t interested as he hadn’t noticed Finn was. He also wasn’t entirely sure how to change that without taking the risk of finding out that Nolan actually wasn’t interested, and making things awkward between them.
Making a new friend was enough for Finn if that was all Nolan wanted, and he didn’t want to leave him thinking otherwise.
“I never planned to use you,” Nolan said once he was settled comfortably. “I just wanted not to look as pathetic as usual for once in my life in front of him.”
“I don’t really feel used,” Finn murmured. “And you’re not pathetic. He’s pathetic. He tries to make other people feel bad about themselves because he thinks it’ll make him feel better about himself.”
Nolan sighed.
These were all things he knew, Finn realized. He didn’t idolize Gavin, and he knew he could do wrong.
But Nolan also didn’t have many people, so he was stuck with the crappy one he did have.
Well, he’d have the sanctuary now. Historically, it’d been just as good for humans as it was for animals.
“See the look on his face?” Finn murmured into Nolan’s ear as Gavin glanced over at them and then looked away immediately.
“I’m gonna pay for this on Monday,” Nolan said wryly. “But it’s probably worth it.”
“Don’t let him give you any crap,” Finn said.
“His entire world would collapse if he couldn’t give me crap. It’s enough to stop him just once. And maybe I’ll never have to hear another comment about being a virgin again.”
“You move at your own pace,” Finn said. “When you’re ready, you’re ready. Don’t let anyone rush you.”
“I know,” Nolan said. “I know, I just… feel like I’m falling behind.”
“You were a gifted kid, huh?” Finn asked, already knowing the answer. Nolan had Gifted and Talented written all over him.
“That obvious?” Nolan asked.
“Kinda.” Finn shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing. You’re just too hard on yourself. Sex isn’t an achievement or a milestone or… anything. It’s just sex.”
“It’s fun though, right?” Nolan asked.
“Oh, absolutely. If you’re into it. It’s also okay if you’re not, though.”
“I am,” Nolan said. “I mean… I’m pretty sure I am.”
“Got it,” Finn responded. “Which is fine, too.”
Nolan sighed a huge sigh, but it was hard to tell whether it was from relief or frustration.
What Finn could tell was that he settled a little more firmly against his chest, and that was… nice.
Really nice.
Nolan fit against his body like he’d been made for him, and Finn hadn’t held anyone like this in a long, long time.
Finn was halfway through opening his mouth to murmur come home with me in Nolan’s ear before he realized what a terrible idea that was.
The impulse faded as quickly as it’d welled up, but there was no denying it’d been there. That for a moment at least, Finn had wanted to take Nolan home with him, and hold him a little longer, and show him all the things he felt like he’d been missing out on.
For the first time in a long time, Finn didn’t feel quite so lonely. Not with Nolan around.
He wanted to hang onto that feeling. He wanted more of it.
Which wasn’t a good enough reason to proposition the guy out of the blue. His loneliness wasn’t Nolan’s problem.
And if he asked now, it’d look like he wanted the favor returned. The last thing he wanted to do was risk making Nolan feel pressured. He didn’t want to do that to anyone, ever, but this would have been Nolan’s first time.
It should have been with someone he trusted. Someone he’d known long enough to trust.
Unlike Finn’s, which had been with a total stranger he’d never seen again. Not that he’d felt forced—maybe a little pressured by his friends to get it over with—but it just hadn’t been the most positive possible experience.
Knowing now that it could be way better with the right person, he wanted that for Nolan.
And he was pretty sure that he wasn’t the right person. He would have been gentle and patient, but that didn’t mean Nolan wanted him. And want was important. Nolan was already talking like he’d jump at the first chance he got, and Finn didn’t want to be Mr. Right Now.
It was a stupid impulse, and he was glad he’d caught it before he actually said anything.
“Gavin’s seen us now,” Nolan said. “We can disappear whenever you want.”
“I’m okay for a while longer,” Finn responded, not eager to give up sitting peacefully with Nolan just yet.
In the depths of his chest, he could feel the first curling tendrils of his tiny crush starting to wrap around his heart. Which was bad.
But it’d been a long time since he’d had one, so he wasn’t inclined to fight it. Crushes were nice. It’d give him something to do, at least, even if that thing was to think about how nice Nolan’s smiles were and how easy it would have been to promise him anything when he looked up with those big, sad eyes.
“I don’t mind using you as a pillow,” Nolan said, letting his head fall back against Finn’s shoulder.
Which Finn loved, and couldn’t stop himself grinning at.
He was so screwed.