“What do you think of Silas?” Ana was finishing her coffee while I buckled Blue into his carrier and covered him with a blanket. It was a sunny, winter day, but it was still cold.

“He’s nice enough, but he’s not for me.” The sad truth was I liked him a lot, but Blue was my priority, and I didn’t have time for a man who didn’t want kids. Blue and I were a package deal.

“I don’t know. He seemed taken with you.” Ana wrapped a knit scarf around her neck. Mona must have made it because none of the colors matched. She had made booties for Blue, too. I loved them although—or maybe because—one was navy blue and the other black.

In dire need of a haircut, I pushed the strands that had fallen in my face. Who knew hair grew twice as fast when you were pregnant? “He was taken with my boobs.” A flush raced up from my chest to my face as I remembered how he stared at Blue nursing.

“Give him time. It’s hard for him to come back here. He’s never returned since the massacre. The last time Ryker saw him, they met in a neutral location in Denver.”

I couldn’t imagine coming back to the place where your life had changed so dramatically. That would be like me moving back home. Just the thought of that made my stomach lurch.

“Is he staying with you, or is he staying at the house above the garage?” I couldn’t imagine him staying at The Nest. Not only was it the place where his parents were murdered, but I also wasn’t sure there was anything left in there but dust and cobwebs.

“He’s got the couch, unless you’re offering up half of your bed.” She gave me an exaggerated brow waggle and slid from the booth.

“Girl, as nice as that sounds, I’ll have to pass.” It did sound nice. I’d kissed the man, and that alone was a toe-curling experience. I was pretty sure that tongue of his had talents beyond a kiss.

“Okay, I guess you’ll have to settle for old man Tucker.”

“You’re killing me here.”

“Well, you could always give Nate another try. He’s really a stand-up guy.”

“I’m okay with being single.” I was okay now, but I wouldn’t be okay long term. Maybe I did need to give Nate another look. He was at least in my age range.

We walked out of the diner toward Ana’s Jeep just as Nate was pulling in to the parking lot. Maybe it was a sign.

“How’s the little guy?” Nate rushed over and pulled the blanket from the carrier. “Hey, little man,” he said while he rubbed Blue’s cheek with one finger.

I watched him go gaga over Blue and thought maybe I’d judged him too quickly. He liked Blue, so who cared if the spark wasn’t really there between him and me? He’d be a good role model for my son.

“What are you doing this weekend?” The words plopped out of my mouth without much thought. Ana’s head snapped in our direction, and a smile spread across her face.

Before Nate could respond, a young, bouncy brunette rushed to his side and kissed him on the cheek. “Sorry I’m late.”

Nate looked from Ana to me and announced, “This is Melissa, my girlfriend.”

My heart sunk into the pavement. Of course, he had a girlfriend. And of course, she was young and perky with a tight ass and tits that still sat under her chin.

I plastered on a smile. “Nice to meet you, Melissa.”

“Call me Mel,” she said in a cheerleader voice that grated on my nerves.

Nate wrapped his arm around the girl’s waist and pulled her in close to him. “We’re spending the weekend in Denver. Did you need me for something?”

Ana came to the rescue since that’s what good friends did. “We’re having a barbecue and thought you might like to come.”

Mel cocked her head to the side. “A barbecue in the winter?”

I wanted to mimic her by saying, a barbecue in the winter in a high-pitched, annoying-as-hell tone, but I didn’t. “Unconventional, maybe. Unheard of, no. People eat ribs all year round.”

Nate tapped Blue on the nose. “See you soon, little buddy.” He looked at me and shrugged. “Sorry we have to miss the gathering, but there’s a Beyond the Vikings Legend exhibition at the Denver Museum that Mel is dying to see.”

“Lord knows you shouldn’t pass up a Viking.”

“Especially if you’re a history major at UC Boulder, like Mel.” They started toward the door of the diner. “See you guys later, all right?” Nate said before they walked through the door.

She was cute and peppy and a co-ed. Just kill me now. I opened the door and locked the baby’s carrier into the car seat frame. I leaned into Blue and whispered, “Looks like Mommy’s gonna die alone.”

Ana offered to drop me off at the house, but I decided it was time for my Mona fix. She always knew how to cheer me up.

I carried Blue to the door, where Mona greeted us with sass and a smile. “You just missed your husband.”

“Silas was here?” It was weird but also comforting to refer to him as my husband. I’d been so alone the past few months that even a fake husband was an upgrade. It wasn’t the kind of alone that you experienced when no one was around, but the kind of emptiness you felt when people surrounded you and you still felt isolated.

“Come on in.” Mona shuffled her sock-covered feet to the side for us to pass. I wondered whether she knew she had put on one pink sock and one red sock. “I still have some hot cocoa.”

I was all in when it came to Mona’s hot cocoa. In the summer, it was all about the lemonade. In the fall, she transitioned to sweet tea, but at the first snow, it was cocoa all the way. If I wasn’t nursing a baby, I could drink the whole batch, but chocolate had caffeine, and caffeine kept Blue up, which kept Mr. Chambers knocking on my door.

I propped the baby seat up on the table and sat across from Mona while we sipped our lukewarm hot chocolate and stared at my little boy. “What do you think of Silas?” I knew Mona didn’t know him well because all she ever talked about was Ryker. I was pretty sure she had a cougar crush on the man.

“I like him. I think he’ll be good for you.”

I set my cup down on the table with a thud. She always gave me the owl cup that had moving eyes, so when I put the cup down, the eyes looked like they were rolling to the ceiling—which was exactly how I felt right then.

“He’s not for me. He doesn’t even like kids.” That wasn’t the truth. He didn’t say he didn’t like kids. He just said he couldn’t imagine having any of his own. There was a difference, but it was all the same in the end. Kids weren’t in his plans.

“I don’t think Silas knows what he wants.” Mona sloshed the liquid in her cup back and forth. “Those boys have had it rough. No real family, no real roots. You can’t want something that you never had. That would be like craving sushi when you’ve never eaten fish. It won’t happen.”

Mona’s analogies always stumped me, but in a crazy way, they also always made sense. “Regardless, he’s a nice guy, and he helped me out of a tricky situation.” I explained to Mona about the appearance of my father and how I hadn’t been honest about the birth of Blue.

“Why do you think you didn’t tell them?” Mona dropped her matchmaker hat and put on her therapist cap. She wore a lot of hats that ranged from comedian to grandmother.

I’d been asking myself that question a lot lately, and what it came down to was, I didn’t want my parents’ attitude toward children to taint my experience as a mother.

To Mona, I said, “My mother loved me, but she hated me too. I was an unexpected pregnancy like Blue.”

“Do you love Blue any less because you didn’t plan him? I remember this one time when Troy Higgins and I were at the school planning for the next week. He was a fifth-grade teacher.” Mona’s light blue eyes lit up at the memory. “He brought in bagels, and I made the coffee.”

“What does this have to do with Blue?”

“Nothing, I’m just trying to tell you that unexpected things are wonderful.”

“Is bagels and coffee a metaphor for sex?”

“No, silly girl, it’s bagels and coffee. The sex came later, unexpected, on my desk. I always loved that desk. It’s the one I gave you.”

I slapped my hands over my eyes. “Gross, I work at that desk.”

“I worked at it too. There’s nothing wrong with mixing a little work with pleasure.”

I would never be able to sit at that desk and not see Mona sprawled across it.

“Anyway, don’t count that boy out. All he needs to see is what a real life looks like.” She tipped back her cup and emptied it. When she put the mug down, she had a chocolate mustache. The mother in me grabbed a napkin and cleaned her up.

“I don’t know if I’m the one to show him normal. Don’t forget, I have an absent mother and a zealot father. I’ll be lucky if I can bring Blue up without totally screwing him up.”

“Oh, pish, you’re a wonderful mother. Besides, your generation has the Internet, and any question you have can be answered with a click.”

“Just because it’s on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“My friend Mabel has been telling me about something called Twatter. What’s that?”

I laughed so loud I startled the baby, but he looked straight at Mona and smiled.

“I think you mean Twitter.”

“Really? I’m pretty sure she said Twatter. Is it some sex site? That Mabel is worse than me.”

I couldn’t imagine anyone worse than Mona when it came to the subject of sex. “Maybe she meant Tumblr or Tinder.”

“Are those dating sites?”

“Are you looking for a date? If you are, I’d like you to consider Mr. Chambers because maybe if he were getting a little nookie, he’d leave me alone.”

“Chambers is an asshole. Why would I want to date an asshole?”

Why indeed. “I just thought you’d consider taking one for the team.” I had to rub my eyes to get the vision of Mona and Mr. Chambers doing the dirty out of my mind.

“I’ll take one for the team when Tobias Chambers turns into the guy who plays Crixus in Spartacus.”

I finished my hot cocoa and walked my cup to the sink. “If Mr. Chambers looked like any of the gladiators from Spartacus, I’d do him myself.” I kissed Mona’s cheek and left her to her fantasies.